CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I pause at the edge of a stream to fill my canteen and take a quick sip. My hands are trembling when I fasten it closed and replace it inside my bag. It will not be long before night arrives and I reach the University. It’s as though I can sense its gaze upon me already, the watching eyes of Odon seeing into my head, observing my approach with a smirk of delight.
It takes all my energy to continue, the memories of my life there flooding back. I already hold my face blankly, hanging my arms directly beside me, taking steps parallel to my shoulders. I do not attempt to switch back. I must assume my previous habits if I am to walk among the others confidently.
In the shade of the forest wall that surrounds the University hillside, I change into my white clothing. Despite the silkiness of its fabric I find no comfort within it. I fold my blue dress into the pack. But before I leave it behind, I remove Narena’s journal from inside and slip it into my pocket. The weight of the journal bangs against my thigh as I move forward. I press my palms to my hair, smoothing it to perfection and then straightening any folds in my robes. I clear my mind, not allowing myself to think of anything but the whiteness of my blouse and the importance of remaining perfect. The past disappears, the emotions are unimportant, I can only see the next step.
The sky is darkening, and I look up the grassy hillside. Past the wall of foliage surrounding the garden it stands. A square white building protruding from the ground, its sides lined with rows of black ovals, like the many eyes of an insect. The whiteness is nauseating, and the sun’s dying rays hit it with rage. I pass the garden walls and entrance, refusing to glance at it and clearing my mind of any memories that it might trigger. I stare straight ahead. In moments my presence outside will be against the rules, it is growing late.
I step into the dead air of the University hallway. The lights have dimmed, but the white is as blinding as ever. My eyes take longer to adjust than I remember. It has been so long since they were forced to strain against the color. I remain still, trying to keep my eyes from snapping shut and my hands from trying to press the pain away. I stare downward until my vision clears enough so I can walk. I swallow, getting my bearings, and head down a corridor that feels as though I walked it just yesterday. It leads to a hallway perpendicular to my room.
I pass a group of other purebloods who are silently heading to their room. I hope my face does not reveal my shock. Their eyes are so empty, their faces so still. I am frightened by the paleness of their cheeks and the lifelessness wafting out of them. I walk past them, attempting a mindless nod of acknowledgment and trying to stiffen my shaking body.
Another turn leads me to the row of doors to each of my sector’s dormitories. I have lived here for so many years, and yet it was never home. Not like my bed among the arms of the Great Oak, where Dorian’s body keeps me warm and the walls become black after sunset. There is no night here, and the air is always still.
I halt beside my doorway, or what once was my doorway. The metal handle reflects the light of the ceiling orbs in a piercing spark. I hold my breath. No sound can be heard from within. This is it, the final moment when I tell Lenora the truth. When I tell her I forgive her, and everything that has happened within these walls means nothing to me now. It has all been Odon’s doing, the result of his hold on our malleable childhood. I have to believe that there is still hope, that we are still young enough to change. Dorian gave me this chance, and now I wish to grant my sister the same opportunity. In honesty I cannot trust that we will win. That on the day of the Rebirth, Odon will fall. And if we fail, at least I will know that my sister is safe.
With this in mind, I seize the door handle, its metal chill causing me to lose my breath. I wrench it sideways and push the door open.
The light within escapes into the hallway, and I step inside, scanning the room. Lenora sits at her usual desk, a text laid open in front of her and a notebook splayed beside it with rows of neat handwriting filling its exposed page. Her gaze turns upon me as I enter. Yet my eyes do not dwell for long upon her. Beside her, at my desk, or at what once was my desk, a Winglet sits. This desk also displays a text and notebook. Together the two stare at me, uncertain how to react to my sudden arrival. Lenora is the first to respond.
“Are you lost?” she asks, irritation rising in her voice—a familiar tone.
“Lenora … I’m here to …” I begin, but there is something about the way she addresses me that causes my throat to tighten.
“How do you know my name?” Lenora replies stiffly, confirming the fear that is already growing inside me.
“It’s me, Oriana … Lenora, don’t you …?” I hear the waver in my voice, the hot tears that I withhold desperately by biting down on my lip.
“I think you are mistaken. I have never met you before in my life,” she declares. I would think she was deceiving me if not for the honesty in her eyes.
My mouth gapes, opening and closing with no sound escaping. I am frozen for only a moment before recovering enough to escape through the door. Before I know it, I am staggering down the hallway, my palms pressed into my eyes as the tears pour from them uncontrollably. I wipe them away, but the flood continues. In a panic I start to run through the halls, finding my way back to the main entrance by a subconscious instinct.
Outside, I run down the hill, stopping short at the garden entrance. I hesitate for a moment before deciding to enter. Its comforting walls beckon me inside. I follow the stones, the sun still providing enough light for me to greet the rows of flowers. I think of Dorian, our first meeting, his hand in mine as he led me for the first time to the stone seat. Now I make my way toward it, desiring one quick rest upon its cool surface before I return to the Great Oak. I smile as I take a seat, remembering when Dorian first kissed me, when I first saw the love in his eyes.
My panic now under control, I rest my chin in my hands. How could I have been so foolish? I had completely forgotten the power of the University walls. It can control the minds of hundreds of students, set them against each other, take away their every emotion, and now I know it can make a girl forget her own sister. I do not feel relief at having carried out my plan, but there is something that settles inside me, a feeling that makes my journey worth the time it’s taken.
Sitting here, I find my independence. I made a decision on my own, and my determination gave me the strength to go through with it. I have to give myself credit for accomplishing that much.
I press a hand against the seat beside me, and my thoughts flash to Dorian once again. He must be worried, and when I return, I must face him. I must tell him the truth and what I have done. I will tell him that I am satisfied and that I will never leave his side again. Not even at the Rebirth, and he will have no choice but to agree because he will want me with him forever after. I smile as he appears before my mind’s eye. I even imagine I hear him call my name.
“Oriana.”
I startle, looking toward the entrance of the garden. A dark figure stands, the flame of a candle in an outstretched hand. I did not imagine it. Someone did say my name, but it was not Dorian.
“Oriana … that is your name, I remember it.” Aurek approaches me. I am on my feet, readying myself for an opening through which I can flee. But his large form blocks my only exit. He comes closer, and I try to move around him but his hand reaches out to grip my arm. It is strong, incredibly painful, and when I attempt to struggle, his grip tightens. He places the candle and holder upon the bench behind him and settles his eyes upon me smugly. “I saw you come out here. You must not have noticed me because you were running.”
I look around, hoping to find something I can use to escape. Nothing catches my eye. Perhaps I can persuade him to let go instead.
“That is your name, isn’t it? Oriana? Somehow I think I’ve known you …”
He reaches out and strokes my hair, sliding his hand down the back of my neck. I want to scream, cry out, but who would come to my rescue? It’s when his hands move downward that I be
gin to retch. His palms explore the curves of my body, sliding up my stomach toward my chest. I let him go no further. I pull backward, struggling against his hand, and he reaches for my flailing arm. I don’t give him the chance to take it. A new strength that I never knew existed emerges from within, and I deliver a swift kick. He doubles over in surprise, not having expected my initiative to fight back. A young pureblood girl would never be expected to do so.
I take advantage of his moment of confusion and thrust my elbow into his side. This causes the air to escape him and his fingers to loosen their grasp. I wrench my arm free as he topples backward. His weight and considerable height make the fall more forceful. His head sails backward and strikes the bench with a sickening crunch, followed by an eerie silence.
I stand over him, staring in horror. I pray he will make the slightest movement, that his chest might make one rise and fall. He is completely still. A black liquid oozes across the bench from beneath his head, it creeps across the smooth surface like a living creature.
I move to kneel beside him, to check his eyes, examine his injury, but I leap back as the ground behind him bursts into flames. Aurek’s fall knocked the candle from the bench, causing it to set the grass alight. The fire spreads quickly, my vision blurs as I mindlessly try to put it out. If I don’t, the entire garden will soon be ablaze and burn to the ground. I throw dirt upon it. Someone will notice the flames, and I will have no time to escape … no time … I have no time.
Aurek is still not moving, and my breath comes in terrified gasps. Relax, Oriana, think … think of something … I am not sure if I should run now or stop the flames, if only I can stop the flames from spreading! Think!
There is a voice behind me, a whimper. I whip around, leaving the fire for a second to search out the noise. Fisk stares at me in horror, his eyes discovering the still form of Aurek, not just still, dead. He starts to yell. A shrill shriek of rage echoes in my ears like thousands of alarming crickets enveloping the night. I hear my own scream and swallow it, searching behind me for something, someone. I only find the bench, dripping with black blood, and the raging fire that has now engulfed half the garden. I back away from it. What have I done … what … what!? My body lurches convulsively, my hands pull at my hair, sweat upon my brow from the intense heat of the fire. I watch as Aurek’s body attracts the flames, the red fingers licking off his flesh and clothing. I shake my head trying to rid myself of the image, the image I had caused.
“NO!!!”
The hands of the guards fasten around my arms just as the Odonian instructs them. I am unable to fight, unable to find the sky, the stars, the ground beneath me. It all spins in one revolting daze. I feel a sharp pain in my neck that sends me hurtling toward unconsciousness, the echoing words of someone from above chase me downward into darkness.
“Bring her to Odon.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
This nightmare, I remember now, I’ve had it before. The eyes have returned. I thought they were defeated, but they are back. They’re stronger than ever, probing my mind, seeking out my memories, my secrets. I shrink from their touch, struggling against their power. Then the eyes break through, sifting through my earliest memories.
I’m an infant, clutched in my mother’s arms, my sister beside me. The pounding of her feet upon the ground frightens me as she runs. My fingers clutch the air, trying to pull myself forward, away from the pursuers. Mother’s heart hammers against my shoulder, her breath is warm upon my head and neck. I am hungry, and I wish to rest, but the jostling causes me more discomfort. Those behind us gain distance at a greater speed, they will soon grab Mother. Perhaps then we can rest, and Mother will feed my sister and me.
At last she takes flight, I love it when mother flies. Yet this time is different. We glide into the air, the up and down rattle of her run turns into the soothing motion of wings and the rush of air. Now I can close my eyes. Mother withdraws a large breath. Her wings halt and she curls around my sister and me.
We are falling, and mother remains still, her wings wrapped around us. Her heart is not hammering. No more breath escapes her. Why does she not move? I cry out, anxious to hear my mother’s soothing voice, to feel her soft lips pressed upon my brow, to know that things will soon be all right. But she does not answer my cry. Lenora is screaming beside me as we drop, I watch her, eyes wide. Mother strikes the ground first, I clutch at her dress, my body colliding with hers. Tears fill my eyes as the strangers surround me and Lenora. Mother’s arms no longer hug us close.
I fly forward through memories, the repetitive days of the University, the endless hours of classes and studying. I see Lenora and the part-blood, her first love. The way she changed afterward, lost what was left of the happiness in her eyes. Aurek and I alone, my first kiss.
The piercing blue eyes—his eyes—watch it all through mine. I try to fight it, attempting to stop reliving these experiences. His eyes do not just witness the event, but he sees my thoughts. He sees the doubts of Odon’s teachings, my hatred for the Odonians and professors. He steals my thoughts, disregards my privacy, and then I see Dorian. No! I try to move away, to hold on to the past and keep from moving forward. But his eyes press further, and the images flow again.
Dorian walks toward me, smiles. I now recognize the emotions flowing through me, the attraction, the intrigue. Yet it is bittersweet, I am sharing these moments with him. He laughs at my torment, the way my cheeks grow hot when I think of Dorian, I tremble. It is all exposed, every thought and feeling, all of my love. We are in the garden, sharing a kiss. Then I am sneaking back inside, thoughts of our next meeting circling in my mind.
The memories shoot forward, the Odonian, my mindless state. Aurek’s kiss. I shiver at the sight, although it seems it was not me who was actually there. Yet seeing myself, unmoving, body numb, the moment is confirmed. I notice Dorian watching from afar. I did not recognize him at the time. I was too blank, I had forgotten. Now it pains me to see the hurt in his eyes, the way his muscles tense at the sight of Aurek’s touch.
I am propelled past this, the memories picking up speed and then slowing down for yet another painful event. I am in my room. Lenora is across from me. I am screaming at her, the flood of my panic, the intensity of my fear all returns. I know what is about to happen, and yet I am as powerless to stop it as I was in that moment. The guards storm in, knocking me into darkness.
I awake in the cell, noticing the shock of moving from the white of the University to the black caves. Time is moving quickly again, and it speeds through my first discussion with Azura and then the approach of the guards. It is here that my mind begins to close up and the eyes pry at my brain, bringing focus to the fading vision.
The guards haul me between them as the Odonian leads us to a white room. The scene instantly becomes familiar. The man interrogates me briefly. I remain silent, lying upon the cold floor. His voice evokes a returning hatred inside of me. I watch the scene, wanting to force myself to my feet and lurch toward him, doing as much damage as possible. Yet I remain still, listening as his voice slides in and out of my ears, the light burning through my closed lids.
I watch as the scene progresses: “Administer the device.” I watch in horror as my past becomes clear. The woman enters, needle in hand. I struggle inside a body that is not under my control. I yell for myself to hear. Oriana! Move! You can’t let them! It is too late, the needle plunges into my neck.
The eyes watch from inside my mind, bursting with laughter.
I hear the last words of the Odonian as the memory comes to an end, their meaning finally becoming clear. “He will come for her. I am certain. Now we wait …”
NO!! I shove myself away, tearing at the bindings that have connected the eyes to my mind. My own eyes fly open, I draw my hand up immediately to shield them from the white room. Am I inside the University?
As my vision returns, I study my surroundings. It is a circular room; behind me is a curved wall of windows that look down a familiar hillside and out over
the distant forest. It is daytime. The sun is already high in the sky. I am in the University, in a room at its highest level. I lie in a circular pit at the center of the floor, which has been littered with white cushions. The rest of the floor is slightly raised around me and reflects the smooth white surface of the University hallways. Further confirmation of my location lies on the ceiling where rows of familiar orb lamps glare down at me.
Beside me a darker color stands out upon the blank pillows. My satchel! They must have found it by the tree somehow. How long have I been watched? I grab and shove the flap open, searching for the food and drink. I sigh, discovering it has all been left within. I take a moment to swallow some water and fill my stomach with the bread. Then I remember: the map! It is missing from the depths of my satchel. In this moment I grasp for my pocket and feel the hard cover of Narena’s Journal. I sigh, discovering it has been left within. But where is the—?
“Looking for this?”
I jump, whirling around, the piece of bread dropping from my hand, to discover I am not alone. The room’s wall is smooth, breaking once for an oval door. I follow its surface with my eyes till I discover the source of the voice.
A man stands, strongly built, white robes draping stoically upon his shoulders, thick arms crossed in front of him. One of his hands grips the scroll of parchment, scrunching it together at its center.
“Don’t worry, it was of no use to me. Your precious Great Oak is nowhere on the page. Useless thing.” He throws it to the floor.
My gaze moves up to his black hair reaching to his shoulders in loose waves. The tone of his skin is somewhere between the pale of a Winglet and the darker tan of a Finlet. Yet these features are not what is most striking about this man. As if glowing from an inner light, the gaze of his eyes freezes me in place. The gaze of two piercing blue eyes.
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