by Jodi Redford
Fizzling a weary sigh, she abandoned her artist stool and trekked into the living room. Erin was on her cellphone. What a freakin’ surprise there. Rolling her eyes, Dani settled the watercolor onto the coffee table and headed to the kitchen. The banana nut muffin she’d scarfed down this morning only sustained her so long, and her stomach rumbled in demand for additional fuel.
She cracked the fridge door open and inspected the candidates. Leftover lasagna? We have a winner.
Too bad she didn’t think to snatch her share of the empanadas before running away from Graham and Matt like a damn ninny. Was protecting her chastity really worth missing out on dessert? Suck it up Buttercup. It’s the price you pay for keeping your panties in place.
Grimacing, she grabbed the casserole dish and plunked it on the counter, along with a plate from the cupboard.
“Hey, before you do that I need your help with something.”
She shot a look over her shoulder and spied Erin slouched in the doorway. “Can it wait until after lunch?”
“Nope.”
“What could possibly be so important it preempts lasagna?”
“Normally the answer would be nothing.” Erin shrugged. “But timing is of the essence here.”
Damn it. Sending a memo to her stomach to pipe down, she pivoted and followed Erin back into the living room. Her sister tossed a pair of flip flops in her direction.
Dani groaned. “We’re going outside?”
“Yes, and the fresh air will do you some good.”
Grumbling, she jammed her feet into the shoes and shuffled after Erin. Her sister led the way to the station wagon and popped the rear hatch. Plastic tubs crammed the entire rear compartment.
Dani frowned. “What’s all that?”
“Oh, just a little something I like to call Operation April Fools.” Erin popped the lid off the nearest one, revealing the dozens of small rubber duckies packed inside. “Talia’s cook, Keith, knows a dude who manages a drop shipment warehouse. Apparently they had an overrun of stock.”
“Please tell me you didn’t buy fifty thousand rubber ducks.”
“No, they’re on loan.” Erin picked up the top ducky. “Except this one. I’ve already named him Donald, therefore he’s mine.” After lobbing Donald towards the front seat, Erin hefted one of the tubs into her arms and waddled in the direction of Graham and Matt’s house.
Dani remained stock still. No way in hell she’d return to the scene of her near downfall. She might be a glutton for punishment when it came to peeping on Graham and Matt, but she did have some self-preservation. Thank God.
A moment later Erin ducked back through the gate across the street and frowned. “You’re supposed to be helping.”
“You didn’t mention the part about trespassing.”
“Oh phooey.” Erin waved an arm in dismissal. “They’re not gonna care.”
“You don’t know that.” Although she’d hazard to guess it wouldn’t be a big deal to Matt and Graham. Sneaking into their backyard ranked a few notches under peeping on them fucking strange women in their living room. Or so she assumed.
“Admit it, you enjoyed what you saw. If you come clean, we might even reenact a scene or two with you.”
Deliberately shoving Matt’s sinful challenge from her mind, she crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not aiding and abetting you in whatever prank you have up your devious sleeve.”
“But it’ll take me twice as long to set it up on my own.”
“Shoulda thought of that sooner.”
Her elfin features stamped with a mulishness that made Dani long for an Extra Strength Tylenol, Erin marched back to the station wagon. “Fine. Just remember you’ll be the one who’ll have to post bail if they come home early and call the cops on me for trespassing.”
Dani shoved a cork in her frustration. “Two seconds ago you swore up and down that they wouldn’t care.”
“What if I’m wrong? Do you really want to take the chance?”
Smothering her curse, she balled her fist and rapped it fruitlessly on the station wagon’s bumper. She could already visualize the major freak out by their parents if Erin got hauled into a cop station again. Yeah, more than likely Graham and Matt wouldn’t raise a stink.
Then again, they had plenty reason to be pissed after last night.
Shit. Grinding her teeth, Dani snagged one of the tubs. Gripping it awkwardly against her boobs, she stalked to the opened gate. Awarding the grill a wide berth, she bee-lined across the yard. The last thing she needed was a vivid flashback of the nerve-tingling kisses she’d shared with her neighbors. The uncomfortable tightening of her nipples announced their refusal to accept that plan. Little jerks.
She spotted the other tub and headed in its direction. Erin had already unloaded the first troop of duckies into the pool. Stalling near the steps, Dani eyed the tiny rubber flotilla. “Well, there could be worse things to find in your pool.”
Erin staggered to a halt next to Dani. “I’m bummed Keith’s connection couldn’t come through with the rubber dog poop.”
She took in Erin’s crestfallen expression and shook her head. “How old are you again?”
“Nineteen going on twelve.”
Grunting, Dani upended the tub, sending her fleet of duckies into the wild blue yonder. The little rubber quackers bobbed on the surface, knocking into each other before scattering hither and yon.
“Oh Jesus Christ!”
Dani jumped nearly a foot in the air at Erin’s outburst. Heart pounding, she swiveled her gaze to the gate, half certain they’d been busted in the act. “W-what is it?”
“I forgot to take Daisy out of your tub.”
She slashed her focus back to Erin. “Huh?”
Erin pointed toward a cluster of ducks floating toward the deep end. “Donald’s life partner. He’ll be devastated without her.”
Oh Lord. “They’ll reunite later.”
“I dunno. Harold is making his move. Look at him trying to hump Daisy. This is gonna kill Donald.” Erin shook her fist. “Harold, you motherfucking home wrecker.”
Dani massaged her temple, her patience officially on sabbatical. She should never have encouraged Erin to join the drama club. Big freakin’ mistake. “We’ll look for a skimmer to fish Daisy out.”
They wasted the next several minutes hunting in vain. The entire time Dani sweated bullets over how long it was taking. If the guys came home suddenly, she and Erin would have a hell of a job explaining all of this weirdness. Ears trained for the familiar rumbling exhaust of their pickup, she tramped behind a screen of cypresses in the off chance fate might smile on her. Nada. She tossed up her arms. “How can they not have a skimmer?”
“Maybe if we grab that lounger over there we can knock Daisy closer to the sidewall.”
She squinted at her sister. “We are not doing that.” She could just see them losing their grip and having the damn lounger sink to the bottom of the pool. “I don’t think it’d reach anyway.”
“Then you’re just gonna have to rescue Daisy.” Erin adopted her best sad puppy dog stare. “You know I would do it if I could swim.”
“Damn it, I’m not diving in after a stupid rubber duck. I don’t even have my swimsuit on.”
“So go in your underwear.”
Dani plopped her hands on her hips and glared at her sister. “I’m not wearing any.”
“You’re commando? Holy shit, my sis is a freak.” Erin grinned. “Neither am I. Guess our loathing of underwear is hereditary.”
“Do you honestly think mom or grandma forgo underwear? And the only reason I’m not wearing any is because I was waiting until after I showered.”
“Well, see? Perfect timing.”
“Have I told you lately how skewed your logic is?” Grumping under her breath, Dani divided her stare between the pool and the gate. “This is a horrible idea.”
“It’ll take you two seconds. I’ll stand guard in case anyone shows up.”
“You would have
to bring up that possibility.” She drilled a glare into Erin’s back as her sister rushed toward the gate. Transferring her attention to the pool, she gave the distant Daisy another scowl. How did she get roped into ridiculous things like saving a rubber duck? But it was either that or leave Erin to fend for herself. Knowing her sister’s level of insanity, she’d probably try the lounger trick on her own and end up sinking right along with it.
Steeling her spine, Dani shot a look over her shoulder before quickly shimmying out of her linen shorts. She kept her camisole top on. If it got stinky and discolored from the chlorine she’d live with it.
“You are such a cheater,” Erin hooted from behind.
Shooting up a middle finger, Dani scurried down the steps into the pool. The cool, silky water lapped around her legs and she waded out further until her feet no longer touched bottom. Keeping her sights firmly trained out the duck threesome smack dab in the deep end, she paddled toward her quarry and snatched the entire bunch. No way she’d risk Erin sending her back in because she fetched the wrong one. Doing a one-armed breast stroke to the edge of the pool, she pitched the rubber duckies onto the aggregate deck. “Daisy, get your shit together or Donald’s leaving your two-timing duck ass.”
Kicking off from the sidewall, Dani glided toward the far rail. Wiping the chlorinated water from her face, she frowned when she noticed Erin by the stairs, holding her shorts. “Damn it, you’re supposed to be standing guard, remember?”
“Sis, I’m doing this for your own good. You’ve gotta stop being a stick in the mud, and let loose once in a while. For God’s sake, grasp what’s right in front of you before you die old and alone.” Erin inched backwards, her expression and pronouncement sending a fizzle of alarm down Dani’s spine.
“Erin, what are you doing?” Wariness nearly stuck the words in her throat.
Rather than respond, Erin spun on her heel and hightailed it to the side of the house.
“Goddamn it, get back here!”
The rusted clank of the gate latch securing triggered her full scale panic. She was as close as a person could get to being buck-ass naked in their neighbor’s swimming pool. Or more specifically, the pool belonging to the two men who drove her inside out with lust, and who she just happened to run out on last night.
Yeah, this wouldn’t end badly. At all.
CHAPTER FOUR
Matt pulled his sweat-soaked bandana from his head and rifled his fingers through his equally damp hair. “Someone needs to tell Mother Nature it’s only April first.”
“No shit. Summer’s gonna be a damn bitch.” Graham snagged a bottled water from the cooler behind the driver’s seat and lobbed it across the cab to Matt.
He twisted the cap free and slugged down a third of the icy refreshment before coming up for air. “At least we get to look forward to more Bikini Dani sightings.”
Graham gave him a droll look. “You honestly think she’s going to grant us that privilege after what happened last night? Shit, we’ll probably be lucky if she ever comes out of her house when we’re around.”
The possibility that they’d forever be deprived of her company sat like a boulder in Matt’s chest. One glance at his partner’s mopey countenance confirmed he wasn’t the only sucker singing the blues in that department. “Shit, it makes no sense. We damn well know she’s hot for us.” She’d been on fire last night—and he and Graham right along with her. It’d been a miracle they hadn’t blown up the grill’s propane tank. “Do you think we should have approached her separately? Maybe she’s overwhelmed by both of us turning up the heat?”
Graham climbed behind the wheel, his quiet thoughtfulness tangible as a third presence in the vehicle. He shoved the key into the ignition but didn’t immediately crank on the engine. “I don’t think that’s it. In fact, I know she was excited as hell by the both of us kissing her.”
“So where did we go wrong?”
“I’ve no damn clue. Maybe we moved too fast.”
Matt took another swig before trickling the water across his scalp, the cooling relief springing his sigh of bliss. Ignoring the wetness waterlogging his vision, he situated the bottle in his side cubby. “We’ve been wooing her for eighteen months. A tortoise sees faster action.”
It was the God’s honest truth. Almost from the day they’d moved in, Dani had been a luscious promise of something truly special on their radar. But damn, the woman was stubborn as all get out. Even before kissing her last night, a day barely passed that he and Graham didn’t try to win her over with some heavy-handed flirting. But despite the interested signals they picked up from her, she always shot them down.
A worrying thought wormed into his brain. She’d seen them fucking other women. He’d intuited enough from her body language to realize she’d been turned on by what she saw, but he also knew without a shadow of a doubt that Dani wasn’t the fast and loose sort. Not that he and Graham necessarily were. Granted, they didn’t live like priests, but maybe she assumed the worst about them. Fuck. “She probably thinks we’re players.”
“Yeah, the thought occurred to me too.”
“So how do we prove otherwise?”
Grim purpose settled on Graham’s profile. “Short of traveling back in time and closing the damn blinds? Still haven’t got a clue.”
Matt opened his mouth, but the insistent chirping of Graham’s cellphone preempted further conversation. His best friend scooped the device from his cup holder and pressed the Talk button. “Hello.” A long silence fell over Graham while he listened to the animated chatter on the other end of the line.
Disinterested in eavesdropping, Matt tuned out the muffled one-way conversation and fished his own cellphone from his pocket. He scrolled through the recent texts. Seeing nothing of urgency, he opened up his Zombie Killer app and began systematically pulverizing the reanimated dead.
“What?”
He jerked his focus back to Graham and noticed the deep frown lines etching his sweat-soaked forehead.
“Heading there now.” Graham clicked off and started up the engine.
“What’s up?”
“That was Erin. She caught some punks egging our house. She’s holding them till we get there.”
“Sonofabitch.”
The drive to their subdivision took longer than usual thanks to the construction on Old Dixie. By the time they pulled into their cul-de-sac, Matt was more than ready for a shower, a cold beer, and to pound some punk asses. Not necessarily in that order. Judging from the lividness homesteading Graham’s face, he was feeling the same sentiment. However, the second they broke to a stop in their drive, the anger shifted to confusion. Erin was nowhere in sight, and the exterior of the house appeared egg free.
Scratching the back of his head, Matt craned his neck for a better view out the windshield. “Maybe I’m blind, but I’m not seeing anything.”
“Wait a sec. There’s something stuck to the front door.” Graham jumped out of the truck and Matt quickly followed suit.
They jogged to the entrance. Beating Matt to the finish line, Graham ripped the piece of paper taped beneath the peep hole. He unfolded it, revealing the words that’d been scribbled across the sheet with a purple ink pen. Hahahaha. Gotcha. Have the best April Fools’ Day EVER!
Matt gaped at the paper. “I can’t believe it. She fucking pranked us.”
“Devious.” Graham’s mouth cocked at one corner. “This calls for some serious payback.”
“True. Although she did give us a good excuse to call it quits early.” He sure as shit wasn’t much upset by that. Two back-to-back fourteen hour shifts earlier in the week meant he was already feeling the effects in his thirty-year-old bones. That cold beer sounded better and better, particularly if he was sipping it from the relaxing comfort of the hot tub.
“Excellent point.” Nodding, Graham unlocked the door and stashed the keys in the burl wood bowl that sidelined as a catchall on the main console.
After unlacing his work boots and slipping his feet f
rom their sweltering confines, Matt straightened and unbuckled his belt before popping the buttons on his cargo shorts. Hooking his thumbs in the waistband, he shucked the garment down and kicked it aside.
“Take that shit in the laundry room.”
“Yes, dad.” He resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Graham’s surliness and instead scooped up his shorts and strode to the small utility room on the other side of the kitchen. After ditching his briefs and stowing them with the rest of his dirty clothes, he made his way to his bathroom. A much-needed shower calling his name, he ducked inside the glass-enclosed stall and flicked on the faucet. The hot spray pummeled his aching muscles and he groaned in unadulterated bliss. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”
Ten minutes later, refreshed and rejuvenated, he emerged from the steam-shrouded bathroom. Drying off briskly, he padded down the hall. He stalled in the kitchen entry and knotted the towel around his waist. Slicking his fingers through his still dripping hair, he grabbed a beer from the fridge and twisted off the cap.
As if he’d perfectly synchronized his arrival, Graham entered the room, donning his own towel and smelling considerably less odoriferous than he had prior to showering. The need to ask superfluous, Matt obtained another frosty longneck and slid it across the marble countertop. Graham caught the bottle without missing a beat and nursed a long swallow. He ran his forearm across his mouth and eyed Matt. “You’re on grill duty tonight. And you’re doing a load of wash. I can barely step over the piles in there.”
“While I’m at it I’ll be sure to launder your crabby pants.”
Graham snorted. “Fucking smartass.”
Grinning, Matt unlatched the sliding glass door and toggled the screen open. Buzzing insects and the distant drone of a lawnmower prompted his grimace. “Jesus, it haunts me wherever I go.” Soon enough he’d get the jets going on the Jacuzzi and that’d take care of any unwanted ambient noises.
He stepped down onto the patio. Stretching his arms over his head, he arched his spine and twisted his torso, working out the kinks. A faint splashing intruded on his impromptu yoga session and he froze. Despite residing a safe distance from any swamp water habitats, his first concern immediately veered to the threat of an alligator. You couldn’t live in Florida with a pool on your premises and not have that worry occasionally creep into the back of your mind.