by Mari Hannah
Atkins almost choked. ‘Guv, you can’t do that!’
‘OK, you’re suspended. Now get out of my sight.’
Bright yelled so loudly Hank Gormley stuck his head around the door to see if the head of CID required assistance. Feeling stupid, Atkins turned on his heel and left the room. Daniels had gone too far this time. He’d make sure she paid for it.
30
Collins decided he wanted a solicitor after all. Kate put him in a holding cell to await his arrival, then headed off to conduct the evening briefing. Moving swiftly along the corridor, she almost collided with Atkins at the top of the stairwell. Blue in the face with rage, he attempted to bar her way. Side-stepping him, she walked on. She’d just made it to the incident room when his booming voice caught up with her, reaching every detective present.
‘You conniving dyke!’
Meltdown.
Kate came to an abrupt halt with her back to him. It was like a missile detonation in the room: a big explosion, then nothing but white noise. Feeling a sudden rush of blood to her ears, she stood still, aware of a dozen pairs of eyes turning in her direction. She couldn’t believe what she’d heard. Had Atkins really said that out loud, in front of her squad?
Oh God!
Jo was sitting at a desk in the centre of the room, her mouth stuck in the shape of the letter O. For a split second their eyes met, then Kate looked away. Hank was already on his feet, directly in front of her, having started the briefing on her behalf. For a moment, she thought he would march over to Atkins, smack him in the mouth and make him take it back. She was tempted to do the same thing, but what good would it do?
What had been said could never be unsaid.
Kate didn’t know what to do. Atkins had persecuted her for years, but this was a new low, even for him. It surprised her only that he hadn’t acted sooner to bring her down. No matter which way she handled the situation, he wasn’t about to morph into a decent human being on her account, much less apologize. His eyes on her back weighed her down. He’d be expecting a reaction, proud of himself for getting one over on her, payback for stuff that happened years ago. His words pushed their way into her head. ‘When I decide to come for you, Daniels, you won’t know what hit you.’
Well, he wasn’t wrong about that.
Outed to her team in the worst way possible felt like a gut-wrenching body blow. Kate had always known that her relationship with Jo was bound to catch up with her eventually. Atkins was big mates with a former ACC who’d left the force under a cloud, vowing to dish the dirt on her for doing her job and exposing him as the liar he was.
They deserved each other.
Up to this point that dirt hadn’t reached her. Now it had, it was certain to stick. Slowly, Kate turned her focus on Atkins, everything and everyone else fading from view.
‘It’s rude to call someone conniving,’ she said.
A chuckle began in one corner of the room and quickly spread to the other. Atkins wasn’t fooled by her show of courage. It didn’t put him off his stride for a second. He was laughing out loud, knowing she was in bits, dying little by little right before his eyes. And still he continued to taunt her . . .
‘I notice you didn’t deny it,’ he said.
‘Who I sleep with is my business.’ Kate glared at the man who was singularly responsible for her current predicament. The reason she’d hidden her true self from her colleagues. She wouldn’t put up with his bullshit ever again. Even so, he’d got to her – he knew it, and so did everyone in the incident room. He scanned the squad triumphantly, his eyes coming to rest on each and every one of her colleagues in turn.
‘I’d say your boss has some explaining to do, wouldn’t you? I can see how shocked you are to discover her big secret.’ He laughed. ‘Northumbria’s finest fucks women. Who knew?’
‘Shut your mouth!’ Carmichael said. ‘And for your information, we all knew. We’re a gay-friendly lot, so take your homophobia and shove it up your arse. You’re a disgrace to your rank. There’s not a detective here who will work with you ever again.’
‘Hear, hear,’ DC Brown said.
‘You need retraining, pal.’
The squad began to laugh out loud. Coming from Maxwell, the office misogynist, the comment was ace.
The only one not laughing was Hank. His fists were clenched into balls of pent-up aggression, an expression of unadulterated loathing on his face. He’d fell Atkins in a second if Kate didn’t act to calm things down.
She knew what he was thinking. She half expected him to apologize on Atkins’ behalf . . . on behalf of homophobes the world over. Touched by his support, and that of the rest of her team, she swallowed down the sob in her throat, damned if she’d show her emotions to an outcast like Atkins.
‘Bright suspended me,’ he said. ‘Happy now?’
‘Are you?’ Kate said coolly. ‘I did what I had to do.’
Unwilling to stand a public slanging match, Jo discreetly gathered up her papers and walked. Kate would have liked to walk too, but she stood her ground, eyeing her tormentor.
‘You weren’t prepared to withdraw of your own volition,’ she said. ‘You left me no choice but to have you removed. Think yourself lucky you’ll be on full pay. He’s threatening to cancel my leave. I rather fancied a few weeks off.’
‘Hard luck. Going away with her, were you?’ He pointed to the door Jo had just walked through.
‘That’s my business!’ Kate said. ‘Now get the hell out of my incident room.’
Of all the times she’d imagined sharing her private life with her team – and there had been many – this was the worst-case scenario. They had her back. That’s the way they were. It felt like a betrayal not to have told them years ago. How could she have been so stupid?
How would she explain?
Atkins walked away, slamming the door behind him. You could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed. Before anyone could speak, there was the sound of a scuffle and a clatter in the corridor beyond. No words were exchanged. Then the door opened and Bright came in, shaking his right fist, asking for ice.
Hank high-fived him and a cheer went up.
Bright dropped his voice as he approached Kate. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Yes, guv.’ This was hard for her. Painful even.
He winked. ‘He says another word out of place, I want to hear about it.’
‘That’s not necessary, guv.’
‘It wasn’t a request.’
‘Understood.’
Kate felt her heart break just a little more. His unconditional support meant more to her than he would ever know. She turned away, keyed a number on her mobile and lifted the phone to her ear.
‘Beth, your father’s on his way home and he’s not in a very good mood. If I were you, I’d make myself scarce.’ Ending the call, she swung round to face the team – in control once more. ‘Hmm,’ she said. ‘That went well.’
31
How she’d managed to struggle through the briefing was a mystery. Some progress had been made via a report from Forensics. The front tyre on Elliott’s bike was badly punctured. It provided an innocent explanation for him leaving it unattended in a field. Other news was less positive. His brother Adam was still AWOL. No one had reported any missing rope and his best friend Hedley still hadn’t surfaced. These issues had all come up in the course of the meeting and fought hard for space inside her head. They had no chance against the echo of Atkins’ revelation. Kate couldn’t remember the last time she’d needed a drink – she did now.
The Office public house was a Grade II listed early nineteenth-century former tollhouse beside the town’s Telford Bridge. Ordering a Famous Grouse – no ice – Kate handed over cash to pay for it and made her way to a table near an open window, a welcome breeze providing respite from the clawing atmosphere of the incident room.
The slug of whisky had hardly settled in her stomach when the door opened and Hank walked in. Meeting his eyes over the top of the glass, she felt guil
ty, as if she’d run away in order to avoid the questions she could tell were on the tip of his tongue when she dismissed the squad. Like her, he’d seethed his way through the briefing, preoccupied, unable to concentrate properly on the task in hand. He was looking at her like she’d killed someone.
‘What?’ she said as he approached her table.
‘Can I sit down?’
‘Feel free.’
‘Kate . . .’ He stalled.
‘Hey! Don’t hold back. Spit it out. Everyone else has.’
He remained standing, his expression sympathetic. When he spoke his tone was soft, understanding, but all she heard was an accusation. ‘I did tell you,’ he said. ‘But you wouldn’t listen.’
‘When I need your advice—’
‘I know, you’ll ask for it,’ he said quietly. ‘I came to see if I could help, not for a punch-up.’
‘I don’t need a shoulder to cry on, Hank.’
‘So you’re OK?’
‘Do I look it?’
‘Kate, don’t do this to yourself. It was bound to come out eventually. Anyway, who gives a shit? I don’t and neither does your crew. They’re behind you, 100 per cent. You heard Carmichael. I could’ve kissed her in there. Maxwell too, come to think of it – on the lips.’
Kate laughed . . . then almost cried.
Placing her glass down on the table, she kept her focus on the floor. This was the very reason she’d come to the pub alone. She knew if he showed her any compassion, said anything nice or funny, she’d end up bawling and she wouldn’t be able to stop. She couldn’t cope with sympathy. Disapproval was much easier to take. Why did he always have to be so bloody nice?
‘You want a drink or are you just going to stand there?’ She flicked her eyes towards the bar. ‘The barman is watching us. He thinks we’re having a lover’s tiff. How absurd is that?’
Hank grinned. ‘I won’t tell if you don’t.’
‘Talk like that got me into this mess in the first place. Sit.’
A wide grin spread over Hank’s face. He ordered a pint of John Smith’s. It arrived before he’d taken his coat off and pulled up a chair. He took a third of it down in one long pull, wiping excess froth from his upper lip with the back of his hairy hand. He studied her as she sank her whisky, replacing the glass on the table.
She didn’t speak.
He felt the need to. ‘You’re not brooding over Atkins, are you? The guy’s a fucking moron.’
‘Yes, an angry one with an axe to grind,’ Kate said. ‘In my experience, they’re the worse kind. He’s been biding his time, holding me responsible for stuff that happened years ago.’
‘What stuff?’
‘Never mind. Suffice to say it’s a very long time to hold a grudge.’
‘He doesn’t deserve a second thought, much less your protection.’ He was alluding to the fact that she’d kept her counsel on what had caused the rift. He chuckled. ‘I cannot believe what he called you.’
‘I’ve had worse.’
‘I know,’ he joked, ‘though, not to your face. Way I see it, he may well have done you a big favour—’
‘Mind telling me how?’ Kate dropped her voice to a whisper. ‘I want to be known for my ability as a detective, not defined by my sexual preference, Hank. Not thought of as odd, a dyke in need of a good shag to sort me out. I’ve told you before, I’d be scratching a living as a PC if I’d come out when I joined the force. I’ve seen good women passed over because they prefer the company of their own kind. We can take the jokes, the downright homophobia, we just can’t fight it when it comes to promotion – and, believe me, it’s even worse for men. Does that sound fair to you?’
‘No it doesn’t. But attitudes are changing—’
‘Not quick enough.’
‘So what is it you have on him?’
She knew the question was coming and lifted her empty glass. It wasn’t unprecedented for her to have a second alcoholic drink while she was still on duty but it was rare. She didn’t care. Hank switched his focus to the bar and made a hand gesture with two fingers, letting the barman know they both required a refill. The lad acknowledged the order with a nod of his head.
‘He’ll bring them over.’ Hank told her. ‘You were saying?’
‘Er, no, I wasn’t.’
‘Look, what happened in the incident room stays in the incident room. I get that. But I deserve the build-up. I was traumatized in there. Think of it as therapy.’
Humour didn’t work.
Kate checked her watch, a distraction tactic. ‘It’s gone seven. I’d better get going.’
‘I’ll find out eventually. C’mon, save me the trouble of digging.’
She looked up. She knew he wouldn’t stop until she told him. ‘This goes no further, understood?’
‘Do you even need to ask?’
‘I’m sorry.’ Kate took a long deep breath. She didn’t plan on telling him everything, just enough to stop him asking around. She wanted an end to the Atkins saga, once and for all. ‘Years ago, I was in the sticks when a call came over the radio. Domestic disturbance. Screams heard. Child on the phone. It was an emergency. I was literally round the corner so I said I’d deal. Control gave me the heads-up that the address was the home of a copper, but not who. When I got there, a kid opened the door, a girl, six or seven years old. It was two o’clock in the morning.’
‘Beth, I presume.’
Kate nodded. ‘Pretty thing she was. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes. She was terrified. There was yelling from the house. She hid behind me on the doorstep in her PJs. When she stopped sobbing, she told me her dad had pushed her mummy down the stairs and hurt her.’
‘Like I said, the guy’s a moron.’
Kate didn’t argue.
‘Did you question his missus?’
‘For what good it did.’ Kate paused. ‘Diane Casey – or Atkins as she was then – couldn’t look me in the eye. She admitted there had been a row. Agreed that it had become heated. She claimed to have been partly responsible. She’d had a drink, tripped and fallen. Her daughter heard the noise, got scared and dialled 999 without her knowledge, having mistaken the situation. You know the drill. When I asked if she was sure about that, Atkins went berserk. He grabbed Beth and shoved me out of the house, yelling at me not to put words in Diane’s mouth. Ordered me to stay the hell out of their business.’
‘Maybe she did fall.’ Hank was playing devil’s advocate.
‘Yeah, and maybe I’ll be chief one day. They were still yelling when I got there. You’ve seen what a bully he is. He’s incapable of controlling his temper. Any female on the force will tell you that.’ Kate stopped there. Disclosing more was not only unwise, it was fraught with danger – Hank would never let it lie.
He drained his pint as fresh drinks arrived. They thanked the barman and he moved away. The pub was getting busy.
Hank urged her to continue.
‘Beth ran out of the house and took hold of me. She wouldn’t let go. He screamed at her to get inside. Tried telling me it was all a false alarm, leaning on me to take no further action, warning me what would happen if I did. We were the same rank, but he was well in with the brass, threatening to shaft me good and proper.’
‘Did you take further action?’
‘I had to in case the lunatic killed her. I had good cause to think he might. I’d had dealings with him before. I logged it as I saw it: perceived domestic dispute, uncorroborated by his missus. He was spoken to and transferred to some obscure job in community relations. He didn’t go any further in rank for a very long time. It took him years to recover.’
‘And he blames you for it.’
‘Exactly so. When I was promoted before him, he had a go at me. When I made DCI, it was the last straw. He couldn’t handle it. He’s taken a pop at me at every opportunity since, more times than I care to remember.’
Kate could see him filling in the blanks, realizing why their paths had never crossed operationally. He didn’t
know that she had something else on Atkins she could’ve used that night to verify her claim, ramming home the view that he was out of control. Evidence that Atkins was aware of. In the end, she didn’t need it.
‘I wish you’d said.’
‘What, get my big brother on him? Yeah, that would work.’ She smiled. ‘I’m a grown-up, Hank. I can fight my own battles.’
‘Did his wife hang around?’
‘For a while, not long. A year later, I bumped into her in town. She was sporting a black eye, Christmas present. Atkins got drunk and lost it, unable to keep his hands to himself. Let’s say we had a conversation. She was at her wits’ end. Told me she was leaving him and begged me to help. She wasn’t interested in rocking the boat, having him arrested and charged. She just wanted the hell out of there.’
‘It must’ve been difficult for you, professionally.’
‘It wasn’t easy. Because I’d logged the domestic, Atkins’ friends at HQ were forced to act. There were too many domestic violence incidents in our area without their own staff adding to it. Almost a hundred a day. Can you believe that?’
‘Sounds like Diane wasn’t helping herself either.’
‘The daft cow was her own worst enemy. One minute she was screaming for assistance, the next telling me she loved him, warts ’n’ all. I never knew where I was with her. She believed his bullshit about seeking help too. Every time he said he was sorry, she unpacked her bag and stuck around. It was Beth I felt for.’
‘It can’t have been a pleasant environment to grow up in.’
‘No. She was young and vulnerable. I remember her fear the first time I saw her. It was there again yesterday, that same haunted look. I wouldn’t care, but Diane told me she idolized her father as a kid.’
‘You two have a lot in common.’
‘And we both deserve better.’
Her words were heavy with regret.
‘Did you intervene?’ Hank asked. ‘With Atkins, I mean.’
Kate nodded. ‘I threatened to lock him up. Encouraged her to leave him and go into a refuge. She fled the house and her marriage in the middle of the night when he was on lates.’