A Sin and a Shame

Home > Other > A Sin and a Shame > Page 25
A Sin and a Shame Page 25

by Victoria Christopher Murray


  “You okay?” Hosea asked as he held her hand.

  “Yes, it’s just cold.”

  “Sorry,” the woman said before she pressed the transducer onto Jasmine. “I should have warned you. Now, let’s get a look at your baby.” Hosea and Jasmine stared at the black, white, and gray sketch on the monitor. The sonographer said, “We’re getting some good pictures here.”

  Jasmine frowned. The scratchy image on the computer didn’t look like much of anything to her.

  “The white and gray spots are your baby. See, here’s the head…” The woman continued, clarifying.

  “Wow,” Hosea whispered.

  The sonographer’s explanations brought their baby to life, and Jasmine’s heart fluttered.

  “By the way,” the woman began, “how far along are you?”

  “Twelve weeks,” Hosea said as if he’d been counting every day.

  “Really?” She frowned.

  Jasmine’s heart pounded. “Ah, what’s all the black space?” she asked.

  “Darlin’, remember she explained. That’s the fluid and…other stuff, right?”

  The woman laughed. “Close enough.”

  “I’m sorry, I just forgot,” Jasmine said. She blew a breath of relief when a moment later, the sonographer turned off the monitor. “We’re done.”

  “That was something,” Hosea said as the woman wiped the gel off Jasmine.

  It certainly was, she said inside as she thought about how close the sonographer had come to revealing her secret. Dr. Edmonds was supposed to take care of this; she couldn’t afford this kind of mistake.

  “This is for you.” The woman handed Jasmine a printout before she left the room.

  The two stared at the image.

  “This is our baby’s first picture,” she said.

  Hosea peered at the photo. “Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl?”

  Jasmine scooted up. “Does it matter?”

  He shrugged. “The politically correct answer is that I want a healthy baby, right? But, I gotta admit, I wouldn’t mind a son. Just one thing, though,” Hosea added. “He won’t be a junior.”

  “Why not? I love your name.”

  “No, you love me. I gotta tell you, it hasn’t been easy.”

  She tilted her head.

  He said, “I guess you haven’t read about Hosea in the Bible. How God told him to take a whore for a wife.” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t believe the jokes I had to hear in Sunday school.”

  Jasmine tried to swallow the expanding lump in her throat. “Is that true?” she squeaked. “Does it really say that in the Bible?”

  “Yup.” He chuckled and lifted her face with his fingers. “Why’re you looking like that? God’s not talking about you.”

  He held her, but this was one time when his arms couldn’t bring Jasmine comfort.

  Hosea put his man-of-the-house foot down.

  “No matter what you say, Jasmine, we’re gonna tell the world tomorrow,” he exclaimed once they were alone after Dr. Edmonds reviewed the ultrasound results.

  “Everything is moving along fine,” Dr. Edmonds had said moments before.

  Now, Hosea pulled Jasmine from the examination table and lifted her into the air. “I can’t wait to tell everyone. We’re gonna have a baby.” He bowed, and as had become his manner, he kissed her stomach.

  Jasmine smiled as if she was pleased. But her thoughts were beyond this moment. Now the real theatrics would begin.

  She was ready for her husband’s next words.

  “Let’s go tell Pops.”

  She knew that’s what he would say. That’s why she’d worn a tunic with her jeans today; there was no need for Reverend Bush to see the bit of extra weight she carried.

  “Pops had a trustees meeting this morning, so he should still be at church.”

  The confidence she had dipped just a bit. She was ready to face Reverend Bush, but not Brother Hill and the rest of the reverend’s rabble.

  But then she remembered—she was the master planner, the great pretender. It didn’t matter who was there.

  As Hosea helped her into the SUV, she thought about the three months that had passed. Her husband suspected nothing. All that had changed was his growing love for her. And his love for his baby. It was evident in the words he spoke.

  “Our baby will have the best of everything,” he’d said one night as he held her in bed.

  “Definitely.”

  “I’m not just talking about having good parents, and living in a nice home, and going to the best schools. I want our baby to be truly happy. From the moment he’s born, I want him to know the love of God and to just be happy every day he walks this earth.”

  “Hosea, that’s so sweet.”

  “I mean it, darlin’. If I could buy that for our baby, I’d pay any price.”

  That had been the wonderful proof she needed—he loved their child.

  Their SUV swerved into the City of Lights parking lot and Jasmine took a deep breath.

  “Hosea,” Mrs. Whittingham exclaimed the moment they stepped inside the church. And then she noticed Jasmine. Her smile stayed, sans the warmth. “Jasmine.”

  Jasmine moved to the side as Hosea hugged her. Since their wedding, Mrs. Whittingham had been pleasant enough, but Jasmine knew the woman didn’t like her. Not that it matters, she thought as she twirled her ring on her finger.

  Still fondling her ring, she followed her husband into Reverend Bush’s office.

  Months of dress rehearsal; now, she was stepping onto the stage.

  “Son!”

  The reverend’s smile stayed in place while he hugged Hosea, then dimmed just a bit when he embraced Jasmine.

  “This is a pleasure,” the reverend said as he motioned for the two to sit. “Were you hanging out in the neighborhood?”

  “No, Pops, we made a special trip to see you.”

  The reverend leaned back in his chair. “Is that right?” Then, with a smile, he said, “Don’t tell me you’re here to ask for money?”

  The two men laughed.

  Hosea said, “Pops, it’s been years since I’ve hit you like that.” Turning to Jasmine, he explained, “When I was a teenager, I’d take the Long Island Rail Road, then hop on the train to talk to Pops here because I couldn’t talk to him at home.”

  The reverend nodded. “That was my son’s trick,” he said to Jasmine. “He couldn’t get a thing out of his mother.”

  “But I could get everything out of Pops!”

  The men laughed again.

  “You know what they say about payback,” the reverend chuckled. “I can’t wait to see how you’ll handle your children.”

  Hosea looked at Jasmine, grinned.

  “Well, Pops, you might get to see that sooner than you think.” He reached across the space and took Jasmine’s hand. “We have some news.”

  The reverend’s chuckles went away.

  “We’re having a baby.”

  The reverend blinked, trying to make room in his mind for his son’s words. “A baby?” he said as if that were a foreign concept.

  Hosea nodded.

  While Hosea grinned, Jasmine sat, adrenaline pumping, preparing.

  “A baby?” the reverend repeated.

  “Yeah, Pops. You’re going to be a grandfather.”

  “A grandfather?”

  Hosea chuckled. “I know this is a surprise, but I didn’t think you’d be at a loss for words.”

  In slow motion he stood, walked around the desk. “Well…”

  Hosea stood with his father, hugged him. “Pops, I’m gonna be a pops.”

  Hosea laughed; the reverend tried to chuckle.

  Then, the reverend turned toward Jasmine. He edged closer. Her hands contracted into fists. He embraced her.

  “This is a surprise,” the reverend said.

  “Yup,” Hosea said, sitting back down. Jasmine did the same. “It was a surprise to us too, but we’re ready.” He winked at Jasmine.

  “Wel
l, it’s good to be ready, but…this is so soon.”

  A shadow of doubt veiled his eyes and launched Jasmine into action. “It seems soon,” Jasmine agreed. “But I was thinking that this is just part of God’s plan.”

  As if he hadn’t heard her explanation of divine involvement, the reverend asked, “Who’s your doctor?”

  She hesitated. “Dr. Edmonds.” She stared at the reverend for signs of what that question meant.

  The oddity of that inquiry only seemed to affect her.

  Hosea said, “He’s great, Pops. Dr. Edmonds is taking good care of us.”

  The reverend seemed surprised. “So, you’ve met the doctor.”

  “Yup. And everything’s fine. Jasmine’s healthy. The baby’s healthy. In six months, you’ll be able to add a new name to the City of Lights membership roster.”

  “Six months,” the reverend said as if he were calculating in his head. Reservations still darkened his eyes. “Well,” the reverend said again. “I’m going to be a grandfather. And you two,” he crossed his arms, “are going to be parents. Well. Congratulations.”

  Jasmine didn’t think it was possible, but Hosea’s grin widened as if he didn’t notice his father’s doubts. “Pops, I’d like to announce this in church tomorrow.”

  “Really?”

  It was the first time Hosea frowned. “Yeah, like we’ve done everything else. Thought it would be good to keep the saints praying.”

  “That’s always a good thing. But I’m wondering if we should wait a minute. It’s still pretty early…”

  Hosea looked between Jasmine and his father. “Have you two been talking? Jasmine wanted to wait too.”

  “You don’t want to announce this tomorrow?” the reverend asked her.

  Before she could answer, Hosea said, “No, she’s fine now, but she’s wanted to keep this a secret for months. Made me wait this entire first trimester.”

  “Really?” the reverend frowned. “When did you find out that you were pregnant?”

  “Reverend Bush,” she began before her husband could answer. There was no way she wanted him to know that they’d known almost from the moment they’d returned from their honeymoon. Hosea believed that, but she didn’t think Reverend Bush would. “We’ve known for a while,” she said taking charge. “But we didn’t want to tell anyone until Dr. Edmonds gave the go-ahead.” She moved to the edge of her seat. “Once we got the word, we wanted you—our baby’s grandfather—to know first.” She placed her hand on her stomach.

  Hosea beamed, but the reverend just stared.

  “Well,” Reverend Bush said after a moment, “we’ll make this announcement tomorrow.”

  “Great,” Hosea said, standing. He took Jasmine’s hand and lifted her from her seat.

  In the few minutes that Hosea and his father chatted, Jasmine watched the reverend. Looked for his thoughts. But he kept his eyes from her. Acted as if she hadn’t just told him that she was carrying his grandchild.

  At the door, Reverend Bush hugged her, but his good-bye embrace lacked even the lukewarmness that his greeting held.

  It was then that she knew she was in trouble.

  Chapter 41

  Malik, I’m in trouble.”

  Her godbrother stepped into her apartment. He paused at the door and looked around. “I guess Hosea’s not here.”

  Jasmine shook her head. “He’s assisting with the second service and then he’ll be going over final plans for the church picnic next Sunday.”

  Malik nodded, then sank onto the couch. Clasped his hands together. “So, what’s up?”

  “Look, I know you don’t approve, but I need your help.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not getting involved.”

  “I wanted to ask,” she began, ignoring his words, “did Reverend Bush seem strange to you this morning when Hosea and I made the announcement about the baby?”

  Malik frowned, shrugged. “No.”

  “I don’t think he believes me.”

  Her godbrother’s eyebrows rose. “He doesn’t believe that you’re pregnant or that the baby’s Hosea’s?”

  “I don’t know. But when we told him yesterday—” She stopped.

  “I’m not surprised. The reverend’s no fool.”

  “And Hosea is?”

  “Not a fool. Just in love. Because if he wasn’t, he’d be doing his own calculating.”

  Jasmine discarded Malik’s words. She didn’t care why Hosea believed her. Just that he did.

  “So, you think there’s a chance that Reverend Bush doesn’t believe me?”

  “I think there’s a very good chance that he believes something’s up.”

  “Why?” she whined.

  “Well, maybe it’s because it happened so soon and he knows it wouldn’t be so easy for a forty-year-old woman to get pregnant that quickly.”

  “I’m not forty. I’m thirty-five.”

  “What?” He shook his head as if he were confused.

  “I told Hosea I was thirty-five.”

  “Jasmine,” Malik moaned. “How do you expect to get away with all of these lies?”

  That was a question she was beginning to ask herself.

  He said, “Hosea’s going to know once he talks to the doctor.”

  “No. He’s not,” Jasmine said strongly.

  Her godbrother stared at her for just a moment before he said, “I don’t even want to know.”

  “You have to talk to Reverend Bush for me.”

  “No.”

  “Find out what he knows.”

  “Did you hear what I said? No.”

  “I don’t need you to lie or anything. Just find out if Reverend Bush suspects anything.”

  “Even if I were to talk to him, Reverend Bush isn’t going to tell me anything about my godsister.” He sighed. “Instead of playing this game that you’re bound to lose, tell Hosea the truth.”

  “Not an option.”

  “Let me ask you this. You suspect that Reverend Bush knows something.”

  She nodded.

  “If he’s suspicious, he’s going to keep looking. And if he looks too deeply, he’s going to find what he’s looking for.”

  Jasmine remembered the reverend’s words:

  I don’t trust you, Jasmine.

  “And when he finds something,” Malik continued, “he’s going to tell Hosea. What do you think will happen then?”

  Jasmine closed her eyes. What happened to the simplicity of this plan? She should have faked a miscarriage.

  Malik stood, moved to where Jasmine stood. “Tell him, Jasmine, before someone else does,” he whispered, trying to put warmth into his warning. “If you tell him, I think you’ll have a chance of saving your marriage. But if this news comes from someone or somewhere else, you’ll lose him for sure.”

  Malik hugged her, then left without another word.

  Chapter 42

  Just the aroma of the barbecued ribs added inches to her hips, but Jasmine didn’t care.

  She inhaled again before she picked up a bone, sucked the meat into her mouth, and then moaned with pleasure.

  Hosea said, “It’s good to see you eating, darlin’.”

  Jasmine didn’t respond. Didn’t take another breath or a break. Didn’t notice the children running through the park, nor the men slamming dominoes at the adjacent table. All she could do was eat.

  For weeks, crackers had been the main staple of her diet. But the nausea had passed, and was replaced by the desire to consume anything.

  “Hey, you guys.” Malik swung his legs over the wooden bench.

  “Hey, yourself,” Hosea said.

  Jasmine waved.

  “You have to excuse my wife.” Hosea chuckled. “She’s a little bit hungry.”

  “I can tell,” Malik said as Jasmine traded her rib for a spoonful of potato salad.

  “So, you came alone, bro?” Hosea asked.

  “No doubt. There’re two places a man shalt not invite a woman: to a wedding and to church.”

/>   Jasmine frowned. “This isn’t church.”

  “It’s a church picnic. And any time you ask a woman to join you for church or a wedding, it’s beyond a date. That’s darn near a commitment.”

  Hosea laughed, and Jasmine rolled her eyes.

  “Darlin’, didn’t I invite you to church?” Hosea kissed her cheek, then glanced at his watch. “I’m one of the umps for softball. You gonna play, Malik?”

  “Nah, I’m going to hit the courts.”

  “Okay, catch up with you later.” Hosea stood and folded his empty paper plate. “You want me to take yours, darlin’?”

  Jasmine slapped his hand as he reached for her plate; Hosea laughed before he stepped away.

  Malik asked, “Did you guys just get here?”

  Jasmine shook her head. “Been here a while, but we drove up ourselves. I didn’t want to be stuck on the bus for an hour with these church folks,” she whispered as she glanced at the crowd who had gathered at Bear Mountain State Park. Some five hundred City of Lights members had joined Reverend Bush for the annual anniversary celebration.

  Malik said, “These are your people now.”

  They laughed, but then Jasmine leaned toward Malik. “Did you talk to Reverend Bush?”

  “Didn’t I tell you that I wasn’t going to do that?”

  “Yes, but I was hoping your love for me would override that,” she said before she shoveled a spoonful of baked beans into her mouth.

  Malik hesitated. “I talked to him.”

  She stopped chewing and pushed her plate aside.

  “He didn’t tell me anything.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Nothing. We just chatted about you. I told him I thought you and Hosea were really happy.”

  “What did he say?” she repeated.

  He shrugged. “He said he thought you and Hosea were happy too.”

  “So, you don’t think he suspects anything?”

  “He didn’t give me any signs. There was one point when he seemed a bit surprised by something I said. I can’t remember what it was, but really all he said was that he knew Hosea loved you and that you loved Hosea.”

  Jasmine exhaled.

  “But, don’t get it twisted. I still think you need to talk to your husband,” Malik said. “Because I know the reverend. If there’s a secret to be found, he’ll find it.”

 

‹ Prev