They fell into a silence, standing within the water, letting the waves lap around their ankles. It was peaceful, and Lucy realized that she needed this moment of peace, and that Carth had somehow known.
She looked at the other woman, considering her for a long moment. Could Carth have Read her? She wouldn’t have thought so, but the other woman had held the Wisdom Stone, and it was possible that, with the Wisdom Stone in addition to her natural abilities, Carth would have some way to now Read.
“You still haven’t answered whether you think I’m still under their influence.”
“I don’t know that you are. If you were, I suspect that you would have acted differently.”
“Unless they wanted me not to draw attention to myself.”
“It’s been my experience that those who are influenced in such a way need to have ongoing influence. Seeing as how I’ve had you around me for so long, I think it unlikely.”
Lucy frowned. “That’s why you’ve kept me around you? Was this all a test?”
“Part of one,” Carth said.
“Why now?”
“You think this is the only time I’ve tested you?”
“We haven’t spent all that much time together since the attack.”
“There have been other things I’ve needed to do.”
“Such as the C’than.”
Carth nodded. “If the C’than were compromised, considerable damage would be done. The knowledge that many within the C’than possess would enable the Ai’thol to escalate their movements, and it’s entirely likely that they would gain power far more rapidly than they have already. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any assurances that the C’than weren’t fully compromised. I had believed it had only been Alera involved in the plotting, but I needed to have proof.”
Lucy didn’t know whether she should be relieved or annoyed that Carth had tested her. Perhaps relieved. If Carth tested her and she passed that test, then she might be able to do more. She might be able to be more.
“You allowed me to stay with the Binders,” Lucy said.
“And I will continue to permit it.”
“Why?”
“You aren’t the first person that they have claimed and changed. I doubt that you will be the last. Unfortunately, they seem to believe that is their right. I believe otherwise. I believe it is my responsibility to protect those who are unable to protect themselves.”
“You don’t think I can protect myself?”
“Perhaps you can now, and if you take the time to train, you may gain even more potential.” Carth turned to her, meeting her gaze for a long moment. “I think it’s imperative that you do prepare, that you train, that you prepare for the possibility that you might need to fight.”
“I’m not a fighter,” Lucy said softly. That had never been her strength—or her interest. She had been a scholar, and yet, in everything she had learned, she had uncovered nothing that would prepare her for this. She had read about fighting, and about Elaeavn, and about everything that had transpired in the city throughout the years, trying to grasp the history of her home, and in doing so, she had thought she better understood what her people experienced. But she had been wrong. There had been nothing there to explain what was taking place out in the world.
“If not a fighter, then what were you?”
“I worked in the palace library.” She felt a flush work up her cheeks, heat rising. Ever since she had been augmented, she had grown stronger, having learned that she needed to, and she had found strength that she hadn’t known she possessed. For some reason, Carth managed to make her feel small, little more than a child, and though she knew Carth didn’t do so intentionally, it didn’t change the way she felt.
“A scholar.”
“Of a sort. We call them caretakers.”
“By caretakers, then you imply that you are simply watching over the knowledge stored within the library.”
“It’s the job of the caretakers to ensure that the palace library remains intact, and to ensure that anyone who might need to reach that knowledge can do so.”
“I didn’t say that in order to upset you.”
Lucy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “You didn’t upset me. It’s more that I recognize I wasn’t using my potential to the fullest.”
“Few can make such a claim.”
“You can. Rsiran Lareth can.”
“Are we the ones you want to emulate?”
“I’d like to feel that what I do has meaning.”
“I would argue that emulating me—or Rsiran, for that matter—isn’t a means to ensuring that what you do has meaning. I know the reason behind the actions I’ve taken over the years, and while I wouldn’t change anything, there’s much that I’ve missed out on because of the way I’ve acted. I suspect that Rsiran would say the same. As different as we are, we are much the same in how we view our responsibilities.”
Lucy suspected that Haern would make a similar claim about his father. The one thing Haern had wanted was a relationship with his father, and with everything his father had done to protect Elaeavn over the years, he had never been there for Haern. And now, after the attack and his return to Elaeavn, it might still be too late. Any opportunity for a relationship might have been lost.
“That doesn’t change the fact I want to make sure that what I do has meaning.”
“Then ensure that it does. Even if you don’t emulate me, ensure that everything you do has meaning.”
“I’m not sure how.”
“What are your strengths, Lucy Elvraeth?”
Lucy wasn’t entirely sure how to answer. There was a time when she had thought she understood what her strengths were, and how she would utilize them, but that had been a long time ago. Perhaps not in actual time, but in the reality of her life. Whereas only months had passed, much had changed for her, and she had changed. She was no longer certain, not as she had been, and not the way she thought she should be.
She might be strong with her ability to Slide. Now that she could Read as well as she could, that seemed to be a strength, didn’t it?
And yet, that had never been her strength before. It never had been about her abilities. It had been about something else. Her mind, her connection to the people both within the forest and within the palace and the rest of the city.
“I can see that you aren’t sure, not yet. In time, you will be. Know that you are stronger than you think.” Carth smiled at her.
“How do you know how strong I am?”
“I can see it. With everything that you do, I can see your strength, Lucy Elvraeth. Now, do you want to accompany me further?”
She took a deep breath. “South?”
“South. We must continue to look into the C’than.”
“When will you be content?”
“Perhaps when I have visited every place I can. Or perhaps when you come to gain your own sort of understanding.”
“And what understanding is that?”
“I suspect, Lucy Elvraeth, that only you will know.”
8
Daniel
The return to the tavern happened in little more than the blink of an eye. When they emerged, Rayen departed, hurrying off. Daniel didn’t even get a chance to ask where she was going or what she was after, but he decided once she was gone from the room that it probably didn’t matter. It had to do with the Binders, the kind of business that he couldn’t be involved in.
Lucy sat on his bed, rolling a strangely shaped item between her fingers. When he appeared, she glanced up, cocking her head as she stared at him. “What was it?” she asked.
“You can’t simply Read me?”
She smiled. “I could, but I have the sense that you don’t enjoy it when I do.”
Daniel took a deep breath and threw himself onto the bed next to her. “I don’t, but I am fully aware that I don’t necessarily get to decide that anymore.”
“You would accuse me of using my abilities against you?”
He loo
ked over at her. With her piercing green eyes, no darker than his, it was easy to forget how much more powerful she was now. Attempts to remove the strange metal from her skull had failed, only burying it deeper, forcing it—and the connection that came from it—further into her. Lucy had embraced it, and though the Forgers had attempted to control her, they had failed, and now she served as a link to the power of the Forgers.
Her deep brown hair was pulled into a pair of thick braids that hung down her back. She was leaner than when they had first left Elaeavn, though he supposed he was, as well. Training as often and as hard as they had been with the Binders had changed them.
“It doesn’t really matter if you use your abilities against me,” Daniel said. “I’m not keeping anything from you.”
“It’s not a matter of whether you are keeping something from me; it’s a matter of whether you could.”
“And I know that I can’t,” he said.
“What happened? Even without Reading you, I can sense that you are troubled.”
“We were attacked.”
“You and Rayen?”
He nodded. “I was following someone, and I overheard them speaking along the shores, but didn’t really catch most of what they were saying. I tried, but…” He shook his head. “I did what I could, and I came back here looking for help and found Rayen.”
“You were looking for me?”
“I thought you might be able to help me figure out who I had followed.”
“I’ve been preoccupied,” she said. She rolled the strange item between her fingers before looking up at him. “Did you know this is what Galen used?”
“What is it?”
“A dart that he fills with poison.”
He hadn’t spent that much time with Galen, so didn’t really know what he had used for poison, but he was a little surprised that he used a dart of all things. It seemed as if a dart wouldn’t be all that easy to control, though it might be effective for sneaking in and then back out.
“Did he make them himself?”
“I’m not really certain,” she said. She held up the dart, studying it. “Some of these I suspect were bought, given to him by Carthenne, though even she isn’t someone I can Read.”
“I thought you could Read everyone.”
“There’s something about Carthenne Rel that makes it difficult for me to Read her, even when I’m trying. Somehow she manages to obscure her thoughts from me.”
“Does it have anything to do with the shadows?”
“You would think so, but Rayen isn’t completely obscured from me. I’m able to listen to her thoughts, though they are muted, and I have the sense that she only allows me to hear what she wants to be heard.”
That intrigued him. Ever since the implant had been placed, Lucy had been incredibly powerful. At times, he wondered what he might be like if he had her abilities. But maybe it didn’t work quite like that. It was possible that, were an implant placed on his skull, it might not change him in the same way. They still hadn’t learned whether it was intentional or accidental.
“Maybe it has to do with her other magic.”
“The S’al?” Lucy asked.
“How do you know about it?”
“The others speak of it. It’s some sort of fire magic Carth possesses. She’s able to mix her connection to fire and to shadows together, and that’s what’s made her so powerful. I’m not entirely sure what’s involved, only that the combination has made her deadly.”
“And Rayen doesn’t have that?”
“As far as I can tell, no. But then, considering how Carth has trained her, I wonder if perhaps she has some potential but hasn’t reached it yet.”
Daniel leaned back, closing his eyes. It was late and he was tired. He should have been asleep long ago, and instead he had been chasing after something he could not change. “Considering everything that’s happened recently, don’t you think Carth would have attempted to instruct her in this magic if she had some potential for it?”
“When it comes to Carthenne Rel, I don’t really know what she might do,” Lucy said. “She’s clever, and if I could only know what she was thinking, maybe it wouldn’t be such an issue. But I have no idea what’s going on inside her mind or what she’s planning.”
He smiled to himself. There had been a time when such a comment would have been strange, but much had changed for Lucy. She was no longer the carefree, somewhat timid woman he had known. That pained him somewhat. That woman was what he had been attracted to. It was his fault that she had been captured, and he felt an obligation to her because of that, but he wondered whether he would feel the same when all this was done.
“I can Read you,” she whispered.
Daniel flushed.
“I’m… I’m sorry. It shouldn’t matter.”
“I don’t know that I agree with that. I’m different. I feel it, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t feel it too. I don’t know what to make of that change, and I’m not entirely certain what it will mean for me going forward, only that the person I am now is not the same person I once was.” Her eyes narrowed a moment, lines along the corners of them making him think she kept something from him. “It’s possible that in time I will continue to change.”
Was that her way of trying to push him away? He didn’t know with her anymore.
“I want to be with you.”
“You always wanted to chase me, Daniel Elvraeth, but I was never sure that you knew what to do when you captured me.”
He grinned, opening his eyes and looking up at her. She looked at him so seriously, but the comment was the kind of thing the old Lucy would’ve said. There was a playfulness in it, even if she hadn’t meant it intentionally. “I think I’d have known what to do with you if I’d caught you.”
“And now?”
“Now I’d be more concerned about what you’d do to me.”
Lucy smiled. There was a remnant of the person she once had been buried within that smile, not nearly as much as he wished there was, but then again, he was happy that it remained at all.
“And what do you fear I might do to you?”
“I don’t know. Considering that you can do more than any Elvraeth, I don’t really know what you might do.”
“I wonder how I might stack up next to Rsiran,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because I wonder if that’s not the intention.” She set the dart she’d been holding down and continued to roll it between her fingers before looking off to the side. “The Forgers feared Rsiran. And for good reason. He is more powerful than any of the Elvraeth.”
“Now you are too.”
“Now I am, and that’s what makes me wonder if that was the intention behind what the Forgers were working on—if they were trying to make it so that they were more powerful, or to see just what the extent of the connection to the metal might be.”
He hadn’t given it much thought, but it made some sense. But then, it seemed odd to think that the Forgers would want to risk the people of Elaeavn getting any stronger. Why would they risk the possibility that the Elvraeth might develop abilities even more powerful than what they themselves possessed?
They wouldn’t.
“We’ve been worried about how to deal with the Forgers, but there’s another threat out there.”
“These men you faced.”
“They were able to carve through the shadows Rayen used.”
“Are you certain?”
“I was there. I Slid us out to a ship, and they were—”
“You Slid out to a ship?” He nodded. “On the harbor?”
“It wasn’t really on the harbor. It was sailing away from the shore.”
She smiled at him. “And here you like to think you don’t have nearly the same power as me.”
“You know that I don’t.”
“Yet I would never have attempted to Slide onto a moving ship.”
“I only did it because I didn’t have any other choice.”
&nbs
p; “Perhaps, but that’s a level of control I haven’t reached. All your practice with Sliding lately seems to be paying off. You’re much better connected to your ability than you ever were before.”
That much was true. He did have a greater connection to his ability, and part of that came from the training.
“Have you ever considered returning?”
“To Elaeavn?”
“You promised Lareth that you would return.” And he wasn’t going back without her. He could—and thought he would need to now that he understood what had happened and the role the Elvraeth council had in it—but it wasn’t yet time.
“I… I don’t know that I can.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t really know where I fit. When I think about going back, I think about who I was and our families and everything I did there, and none of it feels quite right.”
“You don’t want to see your family?”
She shook her head. “It’s not about not wanting to see my family. It’s more about not wanting them to see me as I am now. I know that probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but with everything that has taken place, I don’t know that I feel quite right, and I certainly don’t know that I feel as if I should return to where I had been, and be pushed back into the place I once had. If I were to return, I would be Lucy. I would be the girl you remember from Elaeavn when you still look at me. A caretaker in the library and nothing more. And I don’t know that I want to be that person.”
Daniel hadn’t given this much thought, but what she was saying began to sink in. Could it be that she liked the changes?
She smiled. “It’s not a matter of liking, though I can’t deny that having this capacity to Read has its benefits. It’s a matter of acceptance. I’ve changed, and I have to come to grips with it.”
“You could return to Elaeavn and allow everybody else the opportunity to come to grips with it.”
“But is that the best use of these new abilities?” She shrugged, looking down at the dart. “I don’t really know.”
“What is it about that dart?”
Shadows Within the Flame (The Elder Stones Saga Book 2) Page 9