“I’m sorry. I know that I shouldn’t, and I know that—”
Daniel grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. “I’m not angry that you’re Reading me. It was a little disconcerting at first, but the more used to it I get, the more I realize that I don’t have anything to hide from you.”
She resisted the urge to say anything. Even if he wanted to hide from her, he couldn’t. His emotions were right in the forefront of his mind, far too easy for her to uncover. Many of those made her blush, or they had when she had first detected them. Knowing how he felt about her no longer made her react the same way, though it did seem as if his interest had changed somewhat. It was almost as if he had begun to realize she had changed, and with that change, anything he had hoped for with her had also shifted.
For his sake, it might be easier if he returned to Elaeavn. There was much he could do if he went. Returning to Elaeavn would allow him the opportunity to rejoin his family, to take his place upon the council and eventually lead the city. Now that he had experienced more of the world, she had to think that Daniel would make a much better leader for their people.
And yet, as she became aware of his thoughts, she recognized that he had no interest in leaving. In his mind, this was a fight he needed to be a part of, as if he somehow had to help her, as if she needed his saving.
If only he understood the truth.
While he had helped her Slide away from the attack near Venass, she wondered if she might have been able to escape on her own. She hadn’t forced her way that much, and in her brief period of panic, she hadn’t taken the opportunity to Read their attackers, though she was tempted to return. If she did, there might be much she could uncover about them.
Which was why she intended to go back.
From what Daniel had told her—and what she Read of him—Rayen had a way of getting past whatever it was these men did. She wasn’t restricted by their magic the way Lucy and Daniel were, and because of that, Lucy was hopeful that, working with Rayen and her shadows, they might have an opportunity to Read them. This was the kind of thing Carth wanted.
“Everyone has secrets that they want to keep,” she finally said.
“Maybe before,” Daniel said.
“You don’t anymore?”
“I don’t know about much anymore.” He turned away, and the conflicted nature of his emotions surged within him. “Do you know that I spent my entire life assuming I would take a place on the council?”
Lucy turned back to him, meeting his deep green eyes. He rubbed a hand across his jawline, scratching at his beard. There was a new intensity to him since they’d been gone, too. “I do know that you assumed you would sit on the council. Most within the palace assumed the same thing.”
“Do you realize how pompous that was?”
“Why would it be pompous?”
“Because it meant assuming that I would be elevated to that point.”
“Your father was grooming you to take that role.”
“I know, but others within our family would be equally well suited to taking on leadership of the Elvraeth.”
It intrigued her that he shared this with her. Even more intriguing was that he wasn’t just telling her this, but he actually felt it. “You wouldn’t have been the first one to assume a place on the council like that.”
“I know that Cael Elvraeth was promoted in a similar way, but Cael had a different reason to do so. She had gained an understanding of the sacred crystals and had returned with it.”
“That’s not why Cael was promoted to serve on the council,” Lucy said.
“It’s not?”
She smiled. “If you had spent any time in the library, you might have gained a better understanding of the history of Elaeavn.”
Daniel’s nose wrinkled at the mere idea that he would spend time in the library. It was almost enough to make her laugh. “I’m not sure I’m the right person to have spent time there.”
“Obviously.”
Daniel grinned at her. “What else is there to the story?”
“Well, according to what I’ve read, Cael and Galen helped to secure the city during the attack. Her father had been working against the city, and when that was discovered, he lost all his credibility.”
“I worry that my father was involved,” Daniel said.
“Why?”
She focused on him, trying to Read him, and detected the discomfort within him. This was not something he wanted to admit, even to himself. It was almost as if he tried to hide it from himself, to wrap his mind in such a way that he would prevent even himself from remembering.
But the details were there.
As he thought about what he referred to, Lucy could see it. There was a ship—a C’than ship, she was certain—and a visit to Elaeavn. Daniel had watched the tchalit carry something to the palace. They had delivered it to his father and the rest of the council.
“You know why,” Daniel said.
Lucy nodded. “I do now.”
“I don’t know for sure that he was involved, but the timing is suspect.”
“It’s more than just the timing, isn’t it?”
“It’s something that Lareth said.”
“Carth doesn’t think Alera was acting alone.”
“She doesn’t?”
Lucy shook her head. “I wish I could Read her better; then I might be able to understand what Carth is after. But she worries that Alera might have had help. And if she had help, Carth worries…” About what? Lucy wasn’t entirely sure why that would upset Carth, only that it did.
“I didn’t know you’d been spending that much time with her.”
“Occasionally. I’ve been helping her Slide places.”
Daniel grinned. “That explains it, then. Most of the Binders have been acting as if she was suddenly gone again, but Rayen hadn’t seemed all that perturbed by it.”
“She has been around Rayen.”
“I gathered that, now. I didn’t realize you had been helping Carth Slide.”
“She has been looking to see if others were involved in what took place, but we haven’t uncovered anything yet.”
“Where have you been looking?”
Lucy looked away.
“You can’t tell me. That’s fine. I understand that Carth keeps things to herself.”
“It’s more than that.”
“How so?”
“It’s not so much that Carth keeps things to herself as it is that I don’t really know where we’ve been looking. She’s had me Sliding all over.” As someone who had considered herself something of a scholar, that troubled her. She should know where she’d been.
“That must be exhausting.”
“Not as much as it once would have been.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Lucy turned back to him. “You should rest. I’m going to talk to Rayen.”
“Why?”
“There something I need to check on.”
“And you don’t want me there.”
“That’s not it.”
Daniel shook his head. “It is, but that’s fine.”
He took a seat on the bed, and Lucy paused for a moment before heading out of the room. She tried not to feel anything about leaving him like this, knowing it was necessary, but she couldn’t ignore the pain he felt. It was almost enough for her to pause and go back to him. He had left the city on her behalf, and everything that had happened to him was because of how he felt about her.
She needed to be more forthright with him. Through all the time he had chased her while in Elaeavn, she had never really pushed him away, but partly that was because Daniel Elvraeth was perfectly nice, and if her parents were determined to pair her off with one of the Elvraeth, then she could do a lot worse than Daniel. The problem was that she hadn’t wanted to be within the palace even when she had been in Elaeavn. Now that she had left, now that she was trying to get a sense of how to better use her newfound abilities, she didn’t think she could return to the city.
In the time since the attack, she hadn’t felt any real urgency to do so. That should be troubling, and yet it didn’t bother her at all. Other than Haern and the people within the forest, there really wasn’t anything for her in Elaeavn. Then again, it was more than that. If she were to go to Elaeavn, she would feel like an outsider. With her augmentation, she didn’t know whether she could even tolerate being within the city.
Lucy took a deep breath and Slid down to the main part of the tavern. At least here, there wasn’t the same overwhelming sense of activity. Many of the Binders had discovered techniques to mask their thoughts. Not all of them were effective, but they muted them in a way that made it much less painful to her. She could tolerate being here in a way she couldn’t tolerate other places. It allowed her the opportunity to relax, to unwind and think.
Taking a seat in one of the corners, Lucy looked around. No minstrel played today, and the entirety of the tavern was much quieter than it often was. There was the sound of voices all around, but not so loud that she couldn’t enjoy sitting by herself.
It didn’t take long for Rayen to find her.
Lucy hadn’t told Daniel, but she had known that Rayen was here, and though Rayen was able to mask her thoughts, like many of the Binders, she wasn’t able to do so nearly as well as she believed she could. The only person Lucy had been around whom she couldn’t Read easily was Carth. It suggested to her that whatever Carth was able to do, and whatever quiet she was able to maintain over her thoughts, came from more than her connection to the shadows. Perhaps it was tied to whatever fire abilities she possessed, or perhaps there was more to it.
Lucy looked up and nodded to Rayen. The other woman took a seat across from her, resting her elbows on the table. Rayen was slight of build and quite a bit shorter than Lucy, and she had long black hair. Much about her resembled Carth, and though Lucy didn’t believe they were related, that had to be some distinctive feature of their shared heritage.
Rayen grinned at her. “I suspect you need something—otherwise, you wouldn’t have come here.”
“Is that the only reason I would come?”
“The only reason you would spend any time here.”
“I’ve been working with the Binders.”
“You’ve been working with them only as much as you thought you needed to.”
“Carth thinks I need to work with them to help protect my mind better.”
“I’m sure that’s true. Has it been working?”
Lucy only shook her head. “Not as well as I would like.”
“In time you’ll figure it out. Either that, or you won’t be able to tolerate it anymore and will end yourself.”
Lucy frowned at Rayen. “That doesn’t really reassure me.”
“Everyone has to find their own understanding of their abilities.” Rayen leaned back, looking around the tavern. “Many of these women have no real abilities of their own. Oh, they have some talent, but it isn’t the same as what you possess.”
“Or you.”
“Or me. Then again, I never attempted to make it seem like I had any other abilities than what I did.”
“Is your point that I will be able to gain an understanding of my abilities because these women have?”
“Most of these women didn’t have anything, and so for them to learn to control it required them to focus and to better understand what their powers meant. The same thing could be said for you. In time, you will better understand your abilities.”
Lucy smiled, and her connection to Rayen and her thoughts gave her a bit more insight than what Rayen was saying. Much about Rayen reminded Lucy of Carth. Both women were very blunt, matter-of-fact, but whereas Carth always seemed to be hiding something, she didn’t get that sense from Rayen. With Rayen, what she heard from the woman was what she was. Lucy appreciated that about her. How could she not?
“Daniel and I encountered something.”
“What sort of something?”
“From the way he described it, I suspect it’s similar to what the two of you dealt with on that ship.”
Rayen sat upright. “Where was this?”
“Thyr.”
“Why were you there?”
“Because of me.”
“Did the Ai’thol take you there?”
“I find it difficult to remember everything they did to me and with me. I think so, though it’s just as possible that I only have fabricated images of it.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Not long.”
Rayen looked around the tavern. “That’s why you came here for me.”
Lucy nodded. “The attack happened too quickly. Whatever was happening, we need to get a better understanding of why.”
“This is not the Ai’thol,” she said.
“I didn’t think it was. I would recognize the Ai’thol.”
“Are you sure?”
“Quite.”
Getting to her feet, Rayen waited for Lucy. She held out her arm, and a flicker of understanding came to Lucy. Rayen had traveled with Daniel enough times that she understood how Sliding worked, much like she understood its limitations. Despite that, they hadn’t worried her.
“Do you think anyone else should come with us?”
“I don’t know that anyone else would be of much help.”
“We were attacked by five men. They prevented us from Sliding.”
“And yet you returned.”
“Daniel was able to disrupt whatever they were doing long enough for us to Slide.”
“I don’t fear the S’al.”
“These are the people with the same ability as Carth?”
“Similar, but not the same. At least, I think it’s unlikely that they have the same ability.”
Lucy wasn’t so certain. She had never experienced Carth trying to prevent her from Sliding, though she had to wonder if the woman would have that talent. And if she did, would Lucy be able to overpower it? If it were Carth trying to hold her, there might be nothing she could do.
Sliding, they emerged outside of Venass. The city of Thyr was in the distance, far enough away that she wasn’t impacted by what she could Read within the city. She should have spent more time focusing on the men they had encountered before, rather than concentrating only on trying to Slide away. It was a mistake, and one she didn’t intend to repeat.
“Do you see anything?” Rayen asked.
Lucy looked all around, but there didn’t appear to be anything here. Where had the men gone?
“Nothing.”
“It’s unlikely that they would be able to travel, at least if they are who—and what—you believe them to be.”
“I’m not really sure who and what they are.”
“If they are men like Carth, they wouldn’t have the ability to travel.”
“What if they have been augmented?”
“It’s my experience that the S’al do not accept augmentations. But then, much has changed and continues to change, so perhaps I am mistaken.”
Lucy Slid them to a rocky prominence nearby. It was the one where they had been attacked, and she took a moment to look around, searching for anything that might explain what had happened, and perhaps where the attackers had gone, but she found nothing.
“Why would they be here?” Lucy asked.
Rayen shook her head. “This place has been dead for decades.”
“Do you think they would try to rebuild it?”
“There would be no purpose in doing so. Lareth destroyed it, bringing down anything that was here, and the people of the city would not allow the tower to be rebuilt. Too many suffered the last time.”
“It’s been my experience that those with power don’t necessarily ask permission from those without it.”
“Is that how you function?”
Lucy felt a flush work through her. It struck far too close to home with how she had been Reading Daniel, and perhaps even how she was Reading Rayen. It wasn’t as if she asked for permission, but the
n, the nature of Reading was such that it wasn’t something one needed to ask for permission to do. Perhaps that was wrong, but it might be more aligned with what Rayen suggested. Lucy had the ability to Read, and because of it, she simply used it rather than asking for permission from others.
“I’m sorry.”
Rayen shrugged. “You’re sorry that I asked you about using your abilities, or you’re sorry that you’ve been using them on me?”
“Perhaps both.”
Rayen grunted. “I’ll admit that I’m probably not as skilled as Carthenne at preventing you from reaching my mind.”
“You’re not.”
“You don’t have to be quite so blunt,” Rayen said, a hint of a smile on her face. “But I did think I had a little more skill with blocking access to my thoughts.”
“There haven’t been many who can completely exclude me from their thoughts.”
“What about the man who captured you?”
“He was able to,” Lucy said. She had been able to Read him a little bit, but she suspected he had allowed it. It was almost as if he had wanted her to know certain things in order to influence how she reacted. He had given her just enough to make her think she could Read him. At least with Carth, it wasn’t quite like that, though she wouldn’t be surprised if Carth did something similar. She was the strategist, after all; it was the kind of thing Lucy would expect from her.
“And Lareth?”
“I wasn’t around Haern long enough to know… oh. You meant his father.”
Rayen nodded. “The Ai’thol fear him, and they have worked to neutralize him nearly as much as they have worked to neutralize Carthenne. I’m curious as to whether he has the ability to block you out the same way as Carthenne would.”
“I wasn’t around him that much, either. I didn’t have the opportunity to test myself against him.” It was another thing she wanted to ask Rsiran. Not only did she want to know about Sliding, but she also thought he could help her understand whether she would be able to Read him, or whether there were restrictions. With his experience, she had to think that Rsiran might have insight about how to keep others from Reading him.
“That’s a shame, I suspect. It would be beneficial if we had a better sense of what limitations there are, if any.”
Shadows Within the Flame (The Elder Stones Saga Book 2) Page 12