'No,' Jakob replied.
Gooseman stilled himself, in fact he was completely stiff as if frozen in place.
'No?' The Hermit asked Jakob, startling him with the sound of his voice as he approached the vessel.
'You are not The Hermit.' Jakob stated. 'Reveal yourself.'
The hood vanished and the stranger was unveiled. 'You would refuse to aid poor Harold Gooseman in his attempts to waylay The Hermit?'
Jakob shook his head. 'That isn't how the story goes. The Hermit is nowhere near the aqueduct, there is no way he could reach here from Sah'kel without some belittling Deus ex Machina.'
The stranger hopped aboard the boat, vaulting the side with relative ease. 'So that is your conclusion to this fine body of work? The hero simply ceases at this point with no closure for all concerned?'
Jakob smiled. 'I lied about the notepad.'
An arched eyebrow of surprise.
'Yeah, that's right. I lied about the contents of the notepad in my hand, furthermore I have you figured out now.'
The stranger's easy smile had vanished. 'And what is it, pray tell, that you think you have figured?'
'You are the publisher, the secret admirer from afar who lusts after my work not for the benefit of the genre but their own pocket. All of this has been an exercise in futility, an attempt by you to divine an ending without my notes. Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but fuck you, there is no ending. Not here, not in my notes, not anywhere.'
The stranger smiled. 'There is always an ending, it may take many years to reach but all you need do is stay the course to discover it yourself.'
Jakob took a deep breath, mustering all his resolve.
'No.'
He launched himself off the side of the boat and into the clouds below.
125
Jakob Sandberg
He was falling again.
The wind coursed through his hair as he plummeted into uncertainty. He didn't know how long he had spent observing the life and times of his own characters but he needed to put an end to it and he saw no more logical a point than the final page of the book.
He shut his eyes tightly once again, buffeted by the air and wondering if falling here would kill him or send him back.
A solid impact to his chest drove the air out of him and the freezing cold enveloped every extremity. He sank further into the darkness, wondering if this was how death felt and what lay beyond the black veil blinding his sight.
He opened his eyes briefly and found that the darkness was murky and inconsistent, his lungs had seized up from the chill and he couldn't breathe. He was floating in water as if he had returned to the womb from that which had been his life.
The endless night stretched out forever in this strange place, his body finally kicked back into gear by demanding that he breathe. He waved his arms and his hair whipped across into his face, he still couldn't draw air and started to panic. This wasn't some strange realm beyond the grave, he had not exited his body and traversed the planes in spirit form, the screaming from his brain still attached him to corporeality by a minor thread. He kicked out and gained some traction from the water, he wasn't the strongest of swimmers but the necessity drove him with a frenetic energy. He just hoped he was kicking in the right direction, his sense of balance had been shattered upon striking the surface of the water.
He burst through the skin of the water with a final heave of his body, it wasn't like drowning in the movies, he had time to spare even if it hadn't felt like it.
Crawling up the wet bank he stared up into the night at the bridge above and a piercing light blinded him. He had come back. He stared as a spike of pain ran through his arm, his hand was still clutching the notepad.
A weariness hit him then like never before, he had to go back to the institute now and face the reality of his futile escapade. Furthermore he would have to deal with the spokeswoman for the publishing company that wanted his book, he knew he was within his legal rights to reject their offer but he had a suspicion that wouldn't stop them. Had all that he experienced been a ruse to drive an ending from his own mind?
It nagged at him, the characters had all felt so real and he had refused to give them any ending. Not even a feeble epilogue to drum up some hope or the promise of a sequel. He had abandoned them to their fate as if they were mere words on a page rather than people he had spent his life with. Living beings that had resided in the depths of his cranium for time unknown that he had to forcibly pry out through the medium of writing.
He laughed then. Perhaps having such thoughts meant that the institute was the perfect place for him, he could only imagine the reaction of the psychologists had he told them of the world inside his own head.
The grass was cool against his head as he lay there pondering his life, the blinding light he had thought was another invasion from the stranger had been but the glare of a sun that he had not witnessed in such a long time.
A voice cut through his thoughts, calling him from the bridge. The police officer was still there, he had witnessed the jump and was presumably here to take him away to the institute again.
He closed his eyes and listened as the footsteps grew closer, refusing to acknowledge the man until his hand was laid upon him.
'Can you hear me?' the officer asked as Jakob opened his eyes.
'Yes,' he said, his voice a faint croak as he turned toward the man, it always sounded different in his mind.
A flicker of recognition passed over the officer's face. 'Hey, you're that guy from the news!'
Jakob had no idea what the man was talking about, he wasn't well up on current events thanks to his feverish writing schedule.
'If it's any consolation at all I don't believe you did it, you were clearly screwed over by the circumstances. Can't believe they locked you up out here when you're clearly innocent.'
The man's statement did little to improve Jakob's understanding, he gave a faint nod and wondered to himself where this was going and why the man was being so chatty.
'I've read your book, the serialised version they keep putting out. Keep up the good work, you're a terrific writer.'
Serialised? So they had been releasing the book anyway, albeit in a different form. Now they were running out of material and desperately needed more chapters from him. Why not get someone else to write it in his name instead? So many popular writers did that anyway, selling copies off the back of a bigger name, why was it that they needed him alone to do it?
'Is there anywhere you want to go before you get taken back to the institute? They'll catch up with you eventually, I'll just say I didn't find anyone by the bridge.'
Jakob briefly recalled the lack of splash that the stranger's descent into the water had made. Had the odd character been there at all or was this another ploy? At any rate it was too late now if he had dove into the waters before Jakob and still not surfaced.
'I'd like to go home,' he said, knowing what he had to do now and how little time he had left to do it.
The policeman nodded and gave Jakob a surprisingly warm smile, he couldn't recall specifics but he knew it had been some time since he had seen a smiling authority.
They made their way up the slope and back to the man's car, the lights were still flashing as they approached and Jakob wondered whether he was being coddled into accepting a ride back to the institute. It didn't matter really, he was too wet and tired to carry on with this escape, a weariness ate at his bones that hadn't been there when he was last on the bridge.
The policeman opening the back door of the vehicle was all the sign Jakob needed, if that man was really escorting him home as his friendly demeanour had suggested then he would have simply let him ride shotgun. He sighed and stepped forward, awaiting the cuffs.
A blanket was tossed at him, he caught it wordlessly and draped it over his dripping clothes. No sense in getting the man's car wet and souring his disposition.
The policeman shut the door with a resounding slam, giving Jakob a look of apology whe
n he saw the noise had startled him.
'Sorry about that, the door has been playing up lately. Need to get that looked at soon but there's little funding for the squad cars these days.'
'You're not arresting me?' Jakob asked, realising as he spoke that his assumptions were clearly mistaken.
The man chuckled, 'Son, in the eyes of the law attempted suicide isn't a crime, you've not done anything wrong there. I'll take you back to the institute tomorrow morning, your day of freedom is on me.' He opened the front door of the car and beckoned him to come forward. 'Now what say you show me where this home of yours is and I take you there, hmm?'
The inside of the cop car was much like any other vehicle, there was a large radio interface that reminded Jakob of the old taxis he used to see about the place. A small Christmas tree dangled from the mirror with a cloying fragrance that he couldn't name. As the man started the engine (apologetically after two botched attempts) Jakob felt a hollow sickness grab at his guts.
Much like his first journey to the institute the officer was a chatty chauffeur, willing to go on at length about the troubles of the precinct and the news of the day. Jakob nodded to most of it silently, hoping that the man would still his tongue so that he could focus on not vomiting over the radio.
They eventually wound their way up a familiar gravel path, Jakob was relieved to see no cars parked in the vicinity. Presumably everyone was out at work, he didn't feel in any fit state to answer the inevitable slew of questions he'd be faced with.
'Looks like nobody's home,' the police officer mused, clearly an expert at pointing out the obvious. 'Have you got a key?'
Jakob nodded. 'I know where they keep the spare, thank you for the lift, officer...?'
'Stapleton, Jim Stapleton.' the man said, reaching out and tapping Jakob's badge sombrely, which had remarkably stayed clipped to his shirt in spite of his thrashings in the water an hour before. 'Suicide isn't against the law but involuntary escape of Clearer Minds is. I will be picking you up personally next morning, if I find you have done a runner it won't go well for you, understand?'
He earnestly agreed with the man, he couldn't wait to exit the car and be done with the stifling atmosphere. He had one day, that should be enough if he pushed himself hard.
Watching the car head back up the driveway and out of sight felt strange, the afternoon sun had a pleasant heat to it and the lawn was immaculately cut as always. He turned back to the house and approached it, pondering to himself how symbolic a gesture this would seem.
The spare key was still under the plant pot, that was fortunate as Jakob didn't enjoy waiting for anything, especially a family that weren't expecting him back.
His first destination was the bathroom and a hot shower, in order to complete the task before him Jakob needed to be at his best, not wet and bedraggled like some drowned rat.
Still dripping, he made his way to the bedroom and as he suspected it was identical to the last time he had been there. It filled him full of hope, this was his sanctuary, his fortress away from the world. From here he could do everything that was required and not have it strong-armed out of him.
He staggered slightly, a wave of dizziness hitting him with a vengeance for putting his body through so much. When was the last time he had slept?
Staring down at the notepad in his hands he carefully pried the soggy pages apart until he came to the appropriate entry. Three days. It had been three days since he had slept, constantly jotting ideas and turning them into chapters in the endless hours of captivity. As refreshed as he had felt from the shower he knew he couldn't complete his task without rest, regardless of the problems that might bring.
He sank into bed and closed his eyes.
'You didn't think you could get away, did you?'
Jakob was startled into wakefulness by the voice of the stranger.
'No, I'm not in the dream any more, you can't be here.' He shut his eyes but the voice remained, laughing.
'You thought that everything you saw was a dream? My good man I had you pegged as more clairvoyant than that!'
Jakob tossed in the darkness, not knowing how long he had been asleep or even if he had woken.
'I assure you, you are quite awake.' the stranger replied, lying next to him.
He fell out of the bed with a loud thud, cringing at the thought of having woken someone.
'I'm so glad you could finally come round to my way of thinking, there's no sense in you not seeking publication considering the visceral reality of your writing.'
'Who are you?' Jakob asked. 'Why are you here? How did you get in? Is this some kind of sick joke?'
The stranger had vanished.
Picking himself up off the floor, Jakob came to the slow realisation that the man had never been there, this stranger was a part of his own mind. He really did belong in the institute, he knew that now.
There was still one last thing he had to do before returning there.
He settled himself down into the comfortable leather of his computer chair and fired up his trusty desktop machine. The glow of the monitor illuminated the room as he waited patiently for the disk check to end. He knew this meant that the computer had been booted a number of times since he had last accessed it, he was beginning to regret not password-protecting the machine. Then again Brian could probably have circumvented that anyway, what had they done to it?
The familiar sight of his desktop greeted him, though it seemed that all his start up applications had been disabled and a number of files had been left on the desktop. They were labelled 'Jakob's book' and 'transcribed notes', among other things. He read through them and came to the conclusion that this was the computerised version of everything he had done in Clearer Minds. He had expected a harder search for it than this, then again if his mother had been involved as she inevitably would have tried to be then either Aaron or Brian would be forced to place them in plain sight for her.
He loaded up the book in the word processor, skimming over the chapters, each of them causing a faint echo of memory within him. It was all here.
Carefully opening the notepad up on the first page, he started to write.
126
Ella
She had tried her best to stay within the confines of Alissandra's abode, the corpulent woman had left her alone for the time being, claiming to have some undisclosed business to attend to. It was suffocating her, to be trapped in a small place with no hope of escape from the reality of the lies she had been fed. Everywhere she turned in this accursed place was a stark reminder of just how misguided she had been in placing her faith in such a monstrous creature. Why had she even suspected that the things it had told her were truthful?
Her throat felt like it was closing over in protest, she had to get out of this place and into the open air. Her footsteps carried her at a fast pace as she fought down the urge to run, nothing would be gained by betraying her feelings to the people she may encounter. She had no doubt that somehow she was being watched, it was a familiar sensation of wandering eyes that crept up the nape of her neck but without a determinable source.
So be it, let her be watched, it made no difference at this juncture.
She left the confines of the boudoir and ventured out into the concourse, all the while knowing where her supposedly undetermined steps were really taking her.
The once-majestic brightness of the floating city now sickened her, no amount of polished purity could hide the innumerable manoeuvrings she saw being waged upon this plateau. She turned a blind eye to it all, her eyes set upon that one familiar path that would lead her into a potentially dangerous conflict. She had assurances from the Emperor himself that El-Vador would do nothing to harm her but she still failed to see how a man such as he could be anything but a figurehead when tasked with keeping such a powerful force in check. She idly wondered what leverage the man could possibly have over the Elf, was it really a sense of duty to humanity that kept him servile? What would happen when the Emperor commanded things of him
that he did not agree would better humanity as a whole?
She reached her destination and began climbing the steps, knowing that all eyes were upon her in this action, she wondered what her hidden observer must think of this turn of events.
Casting aside the unanswerable questions she walked into the room and found him lying in the bed, eyeing her with a strange look. Of course he had known that she would arrive here, that was to be expected. Now what was he going to do about it?
'You think I'm a monster,' he stated simply, after waiting at length for her to speak.
She murmured agreement but refused to say anything further.
'It was to be expected when you cast your lot with that woman, her wiles are almost undetectable and very difficult to break.'
'Her wiles?' Ella asked.
El-Vador propped himself up on the bed, he made no move to beckon her over. 'Yes, her dominion over the souls in her service, I should have realised she would attempt to ensnare you in an effort to get to me. Once she had met you there was nothing I could do without making matters worse, now the Emperor is involved and things need to be rectified.'
Ella had no idea what he was talking about, was he trying to imply that she was being used somehow by this woman? 'What do you mean by ensnaring me? Is this some kind of trap that she has caught me in? All I have seen from her is kindness and charity.'
'That is precisely what she wants you to see, she has a glamour of her own that is so powerful that nobody can pierce its veil, until now.' He swept his legs to the side of the bed and stood. 'She is more powerful than you know and her forceful manipulations have remained uncontested for some time. I have a boon to ask of you.'
She took a step back as he crossed the room, wary should he decide to defy the Emperor's demands and take her anyway.
'What would you ask of me?'
He reached out his arm and Ella did her best not to flinch, his fist opened up and in its palm lay a small black bead. 'This nut will render you immune to the effects of her glamour for a short period of time, that you see me in such a positive light is a result of my ingesting one shortly before your arrival. It took me a long time to discover these, I assumed they had been eradicated.'
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