by Cindy Stark
She was still angry with Jase for withholding the fact he'd kept A.J. instead of putting him up for adoption. He'd had her son all those years and never mentioned a word. But she'd realized she couldn't be angry that he'd kept A.J. in the first place. Otherwise, she wouldn't have her beautiful son right now. Sometimes, she wondered if Jase had known she'd regret her decision to give up A.J. Jase had said he'd been unable to let go of the little boy who had been a part of her—because he'd loved her too much.
That thought settled in her heart.
She pulled off a section of orange and handed it to A.J. who promptly stuffed it in his mouth with a smile.
"I like these," he said around a mouthful.
"Me, too." She grinned, even though her thoughts had brought a heavy, melancholy feeling—something that had happened all too often during the last few weeks.
She missed Jase. Missed having his strong arms wrapped around her, holding her tight, making her feel safe. Honestly, for someone she'd only physically been around for very little time, he'd anchored himself deeply in her heart.
He'd complied with her request to stay away from Oregon while she was there. Even Robert and Carole hadn't been able to contact him. It bothered her, wondering where he'd gone, and what he'd done since she'd left.
Had she been wrong to shut him out of her life so completely?
But she had. She'd made damned sure Jase knew there was no chance they'd ever have a future together.
Carole entered the sunny kitchen and from the look on her face, Allie knew something was wrong. Her coffee turned to acid in her stomach.
"What?"
The older woman gave her a grim smile. "Jase is back."
A.J. sprang out of his chair. "Daddy's here?" Excitement burst out of him like popping bubbles. "Where? Where is he?"
Allie lifted her eyebrows as Carole smiled at her adopted grandson. "His car just pulled up."
"Yes," the little boy shrieked as he ran for the front of the house.
Allie felt a stab of jealousy, wishing A.J. felt that way about her. But she hadn't earned it. Not yet.
But, heaven help her, she would.
"I guess you've been preparing for this day, huh?" Carole asked, with a concerned look on her face.
Allie had, she realized. Since the moment she'd left Jase in Chicago. "Yeah." She'd talk to Jase, tell him of her plans to become part of A.J.'s life. She'd make it work.
She rose to follow A.J.'s footsteps, but Carole stopped her before she could leave the kitchen, throwing a friendly arm around her. "You know how much I love those men out there, the big one and the little one. I have faith in you, Allie. You've got an opportunity here to make everything okay."
A surprising gush of emotion tackled her. She swallowed. "I know, Carole. I'm not going to hurt them."
Carole's eyes watered. "I know you won't. You love them as much as I do. You'd make a hell of a family."
That's what she wanted, Allie realized. But would Jase? There was no way to know at this point. So much had happened. Too much had been said.
Allie walked through the living room and stopped at the front door. Jase stood near the trunk of his car with his arms around A.J., laughing as the little boy squeezed him with a ferocious bear hug. "I've missed you so much, A.J."
"I missed you, too, Dad. You need to stay home now. Grandma Carole says it's time to give up your nef-rous ways."
"Nefarious?" Jase asked, with a chuckle. "I'm going to have to talk to your grandma about her language."
A.J. grinned, taking his father's face between his hands and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Stay with me, okay?"
Regret saddened Jase's face, taking the light out of his smile. "I will, A.J. I'm here to stay. No more business trips."
"Sweet." A.J. pushed back on Jase's chest, forcing his father to let him go. "I'm going to go tell Grandma and Allie."
Jase's gaze shifted to the doorway, and Allie stepped outside as her son reached her. "Daddy's going to stay. He's going to stay forever."
"I heard that." She swallowed and looked to Jase, uncertainty thickening her blood. Where did that leave her? "I think Grandma's still in the kitchen. She'll be so happy when you tell her." A.J. buzzed past her in a flash of messy dark hair and Spiderman pajamas.
The smile Jase had for his son disappeared as Allie pulled the door shut behind her, giving them some privacy outside. "So, you're back? I'm glad to see you're okay."
Jase nodded. "I'm fine." He managed a small smile. "I forgot how much I love this place and the people who live here."
She wanted to be one of those people. "Yeah, they were all pretty worried about you." She had been worried about him. "You belong here with them." More than she did. A.J. was more his son than hers, and she couldn't take that away from them.
But, God, she couldn't just give him up again, either. She wished to hell she could read Jase's dark eyes.
He turned from her, pulling two suitcases out of the trunk of his SUV, setting them on the ground. "I guess you might like to know the majority of the Trasatti family is behind bars awaiting trial."
"That's good." But that wasn't what she wanted to talk about. She walked toward his car, the cement cold on her bare feet. She tried not to notice she was having the most important conversation of her life while she was still in her pajamas.
"Jase, I know this is going to make things harder." She exhaled. He looked so damn good in his black jeans and leather jacket. Always the vigilante. "I can't give up my son again."
She hurried on, not liking the way he pressed his lips into a thin line. Already, she could see his arguments forming. "It's different this time. I know him and—" her voice cracked, "—and I love him. And, he loves me. I'm not trying to take him away from here, from the people he loves, but please say I can have some kind of relationship with him."
Jase opened his mouth, but she had to keep him from saying no.
"I want to move to Oregon and get a job here. If you don't want to see me, I'll visit him when you're not around. Just please, don't say no." Her insides shook, and she realized that tears had slipped from her eyes. She wiped them away.
Jase watched her for a moment, not saying a word, and she was sure she'd die before he spoke. Then again, she might die afterward, if he told her "no". He'd told her he loved her once. She prayed he wouldn't deny her now. "Please?"
He exhaled, and Allie could see this was just as hard for him as it was for her. "Allie, I—" He shook his head, and then started again. "I'd hoped that given a little time, things would be different."
What did that mean? "You hoped I wouldn't want A.J.?"
"No." He took a step toward her, his dark eyes filled with emotion. "I'd hoped you would still want me."
His declaration caught her off guard. He still wanted to be with her? How could he after the awful things she'd said to him in Chicago? After she'd told him she could never love someone as cruel as he was?
He took her hand, gently pulling her to him. He was big and strong and sexy, and how could she ever deny she loved him? She gazed up into his dark eyes, hoping the love mirrored there was real.
"Allie, our lives have been a mess. Too much violence, too much sadness. Too much time apart." He shook his head. "We deserve better. That little boy deserves better. Can't we give us one more shot? You've made me realize there's still a chance for happiness. I need you in my life. I love you. For A.J., can't we try again?"
Her throat closed around her words. Even if she could, she didn't know what to say. She'd been prepared to settle for a small chunk of A.J.'s life, but now Jase was handing her the world. A cry of happiness escaped her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. The place she'd always wanted to be. "Yes, yes," she gasped as his lips found hers. "I want that, too."
Passion heated their kiss, and Allie felt her world tip again, and then settle into perfect alignment with the universe.
Everything was as it should be.
Jase pressed h
er body tighter to his, his strong arms holding her against him, and Allie heard a little giggle from behind.
"Look, Grandma. Daddy's kissing Allie. Do you think they love each other?"
"Yes, honey," Carole said. "I think they do."
Excerpt from Moonlight and Margaritas
CHAPTER ONE
"What you need is a wild night with a hot man."
Elena Porter choked on a sip of her margarita and turned to her best friend, Mercedes, gaping at her with watering eyes. "Excuse me?" she wheezed out over the club’s loud music.
"You’re way overdue, chica." Mercedes's Hispanic accent spiced her words, making her sound sexy and exotic. She flipped her hair, her dark tresses sliding over sun-kissed shoulders. "You’ve been working too hard, and we've both agreed it's time to put some fun back into your life. Now that we're here, I don't think Cabo's sun and cervezas are going to do it for you." She pinned her with dark eyes framed by long lashes. "You need carnal knowledge of a new man."
Elena didn’t know why she continued to be surprised by her friend's outrageous statements. They’d known each other for more than twenty years, and she was well-versed in her uninhibited and outspoken ways. "Carnal knowledge?" The look on her friend’s face was so intent that Elena couldn’t help but laugh.
"What?" Mercedes narrowed her eyes, clearly not appreciating the snicker. "You know it's true." Sex was a very serious matter for her friend. It fell into the basic needs category along with food and air. "How long has it been?"
Elena stiffened, not liking the turn of conversation. "What difference does it make?" Mercedes knew better than anyone the damage Elena's emotionally-abusive marriage had wreaked on her psyche.
"It matters. You matter." Her friend leaned close and gave her a few wide-eyed blinks. "Plus, you promised you'd do whatever it takes to break out of your shuttered existence. Remember? So, tell me how long?"
They wouldn't be having this conversation if Elena wasn't so desperate to feel like a normal woman again. "I don't know. A couple of months?"
"A couple of months?" Mercedes scoffed.
So it had been longer than that. "Maybe a year?"
Mercedes narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "Don't lie to me, chica. Who was the last guy you were with?"
"I don't remember." She took a drink of her margarita and turned toward the crowded dance floor, hoping to end their discussion.
"Has there been anyone since your divorce?"
The doubt in her friend's voice was enough to spike her temper. "Yes, there has," she lied. "And you know, my business has been—"
"A full-time commitment." Mercedes finished her sentence and effectively threw her words in her face. "Don't give me that excuse again."
Elena clamped her lips together and sent her friend a pointed look.
Mercedes laid a warm hand on her arm. "Don't go getting all mad, Elena. You know I love you, and you know that everything I'm saying to you is for your own good. That's why we agreed to the conditions of this trip, because I knew once you got here, you'd get cold feet. But we're going to burst this protective bubble you've put around your heart so you can start living again. You need to meet new people and have exciting experiences. Otherwise, you're a dead soul in a living body."
Mercedes was right, of course. Life was passing her by. She'd worked damn hard to gain her freedom, but what good was that if she didn't enjoy her life. She could admit she'd dreamt about having a man's arms around her again, but there was a difference between the safety of dreams and real life. She seemed to be experiencing some disconnect between wanting to meet someone and actually putting herself out there again. How could she guarantee she wouldn't lose herself in another relationship?
On their flight to Mexico, she'd seriously considered this problem. The answer seemed to be a fun fling with a man she'd never see again. That would be a good way to dip her toe into the water without fear of drowning. Cabo certainly offered the possibility. "Okay." She sucked in a deep breath. "I want to do this."
"Is hot sex back on the menu, then?" Mercedes raised a challenging brow and smiled. Her friend had pushed right through her doubts and had her ready to laugh again.
"You're relentless. Besides, first, I'd have to meet a decent guy."
Her friend gave her a confident nod. "I promise, somewhere in this overcrowded club, there's a perfect guy for you."
A wild night with a hot man? Could she really do it?
Elena's gaze slipped to the intimidating mass of hot, mostly younger bodies crammed on the dance floor not far from their table. The dancers gyrated to a wild salsa beat. The alluring sounds vibrated through the darkened club before spilling out onto the moonlit beach just steps outside the door. The urge to bury her inhibitions and experience a taste of total freedom pulled at her like an outgoing tide. Everyone else in the bar seemed to be having a good time. Why not her?
"You make finding someone sound as simple as walking up to a street-side vendor and grabbing the first coconut I see."
"Coconut's a good metaphor." Mercedes grinned and shifted in her chair to ogle a passing dark-haired hunk. "How about that one? He's cute." The young Latino caught Mercedes's visual approval and nodded at her as he passed. Her friend purred with delight. "Mmm.... Never mind. He's mine."
"Will you stop?" Elena said with a laugh. "It's hard enough to get back in the singles' game without your relentless sex drive getting in the way. Besides, I thought I was the one looking for a man."
Her friend grinned. "I'm always looking, chica. You know that."
She did know that. Her friend went through men like Elena's floral shop went through roses on Valentine's Day. The men were always looking at Mercedes, too. The skimpy burnt-orange dress that hugged every curve of her friend's well-endowed body screamed for attention. Elena had thought her own white Marilyn Monroe-style dress would be sexy, but it paled in comparison. Same with her blonde hair and light skin next to Mercedes's striking features. "And you're the one who always gets them."
Mercedes tsked. "That's not true. You landed Richard."
Elena rolled her eyes. "He was the worst of all." Financially and physically, Richard had been a dream come true with his classic Norwegian good looks and as the successful owner of a conglomerate of businesses. The moment she'd said "I do", money ceased to be an issue in her life, which was huge for her, considering she'd grown up with very little. She also had a beautiful daughter to show for all the time she'd invested in her marriage, but sixteen years had been far too long to spend with a man who believed beating her down emotionally and controlling her was the equivalent of loving her.
"I was just proving my point that you caught a few, too." Mercedes barely finished her sentence before her gaze skipped away from Elena. Her friend's siren red lips curved into a grin, and Elena turned to see what had stolen Mercedes's attention. The dark and delectable young hunk who'd previously passed their table was headed back toward them.
Unbelievable. Elena shook her head. "Why is it always so easy for you? Men flock to you, and you don't even try."
"Why do you make it harder than it has to be? Look out there, honey." She gestured toward the crowded bar. "The room is full of men. Pick your coconut."
This was it, then. If she wanted her fling, she was going to have to put herself out there. It was a crap shoot. Rejection, humiliation or fun—she wouldn't know the outcome until she laid down her bet. But even if it was a baby step and she was operating under the safety of anonymity, it was a step forward. Maybe if she took enough of them, she'd feel whole again.
"Fine." She nodded. "I can do this. I'm a fearless warrior, looking to conquer." Wasn't that the biggest lie? She fought off the incessant insect of fear that nibbled at her nerves as she scanned the area with a serious eye for business. A dark-haired man sitting at the bar, surveying the crowd with a semi-interested expression, caught her attention. There was something about him—maybe it was the slant of his brows or the way his hair curled at the ends she found intriguing. "W
hat about that guy at the bar wearing the white shirt with the sleeves rolled up? He's kind of hot and close to my age."
"Who?" Mercedes turned, looking for Elena's selection. "Oh, nice. Perfect for you. Good-looking, probably educated. Go get him."
"Right. Just go get him." Elena snorted. Life was always so simple when viewed through her friend's eyes.
"Yes. Look at you. You're a sexy woman. There are a million guys who'd be interested and who'd be lucky to meet you." Mercedes stood as the cute Latino reached their table, never questioning he might not be coming for her. "One minute, baby," she said to the man and then turned back to Elena. "He'll want you. You just need to let him know you want him. Now, go get your man."
The music stopped and a slower beat filled the void. "Let's dance," Mercedes said, tucking her arm around her young hunk. "I want to feel those hard muscles of yours pressed against my body."
The guy widened his eyes, and Elena choked on air. "Muy caliente," he said, pulling Mercedes into his arms. "It'll be my pleasure."
Mercedes's laugh faded as they headed for the dance floor.
Okay, then. All Elena needed to do was follow in her friend's footsteps. She hadn't left her precious flower shop in Carmel to come to Mexico for just the sun. No, she'd spent almost three years building a business that could support her, and the time had come to take the next step. She was determined to remove the weeds from her personal life and see it flourish as well.
Decision made. She downed the rest of her margarita. Reaching into her purse, she reapplied her lipstick. It might not be siren red, but midnight mauve would have to do. She steeled her nerves. This was nothing compared to some of the things she'd done in her life, like garnering the courage to file for divorce and strike out on her own.
She could do this. She would ask him to dance. It was a step forward.
Through the crowd, she focused on her target and rose. She tried not to pay too much attention to how young and beautiful everyone was as she wound her way through the partying mass of people.