“The Italians?” I stutter over my words. “You mean the flippin’ Mafia?”
“Si, si. Now you’re paying attention. Kind of like that—only totally the good guys.”
I rub at my now aching head. “Maria, how does any of this help me?” I want to say it’s accomplished the exact opposite by giving me a heart attack.
“Basically, I’m saying, guys do stupid shit. They act like the world is ending, when really it’s just putting guns into a shed for the FBI.”
I blink a few times. This makes absolutely no sense at all.
“Uh, thanks, Maria. You helped a lot.”
“Sweet, mi gatita.” I roll my eyes at her “little kitty” nickname. “Call me and let me know what happens tonight? Si?”
“Sure.”
“Besos,” she says.
“Besos.”
I set my phone down on my lap. How the hell does hiding guns in a shed for the FBI relate in any way, shape, or form to Carson blowing me off, telling me he’d call me, and then running away to go help some woman he refused to tell me about?
Ugh. This is so frustrating. I don’t even know how to deal with this. With him. I want to call him. Yell at him and tell him he’s an ass for confusing me and making me second-guess everything that happened between us, past and present.
More than that, though, I want to call him, tell him I love him, and kiss him until it all goes away.
Maria down. Time for opinion number two. I debate calling Gillian or Bree. I glance at the clock and realize Bree will be between classes.
Bree…you’re up!
CHAPTER EIGHT
CARSON
An anger inside me simmers so strong it is as though I am a volcano ready to blow. I take the corner to her street as though my truck is a race car.
A fucking fire.
I had to see this shit to believe it. Fire ruined my life once before. It has to be like lightning. This shit can’t strike twice. Could it?
The downtown street is poorly paved, with potholes littering the road like confetti. My four-wheel drive can handle it, but how can her shitty Honda scrape through on balding tires and a rotted undercarriage?
Yeah, I took in the details of her car since we last spoke. It’s the vehicle my daughter is being driven around in. My daughter. Fuck. Those words will never get any easier to hear. It’s such a foreign concept. Not something I ever thought I’d be dealing with. At least not like this. I’d always envisioned my life with Kathleen, married, and having children with her. Not jetting from the woman I love to the woman who has my daughter.
Sweat trickles down my back as I drive. This area is notorious for gangbangers and drug dealers. Why the fuck is she living here?
When I get closer to her address I see the fire trucks and police cars lining the center of the street, preventing traffic from passing through, their blue and red lights flashing maniacally. I pull up in front of another dilapidated house and focus on the two blond heads sitting on the curb. Misty’s brown eyes clock me the second I step out of my car.
She stands, a toddler clamped to her chest. My heart beats like a bass drum while I force myself out of the car. Every step I take closer to them sounds louder in my ears, as if my heart is going to rip right out of my chest and flop onto the cold, hard ground.
The little girl turns her head, and I stop in my tracks in the middle of the street. That heart of mine moves double time as I take in the chubby cheeks, the golden hair, and the cherub lips. She looks exactly like my sister Chloe did as a little girl. The likeness is uncanny. Had I seen her prior to requesting the paternity test, it wouldn’t have been needed. There is no denying this child is mine.
My daughter.
Without even asking, I hold out my hands. Instinctively, my body yearns for its young. The baby smiles, her eyes lighting up with intrigue and what I hope is happiness.
“Carson, be careful with her. She doesn’t like strangers,” Misty warns. The second Cora’s little body curls against my chest, every concern, worry, and disgusting thought I had about this situation flies out the window. I am holding my daughter, and she’s perfect.
“Hello, baby girl. I’m your daddy.” I stumble over the words and rub my nose against hers.
She giggles, and it lights up my entire world. I’m in love with her already. A single laugh is all it takes. I hold her close, inhale her sweet scent, and close my eyes, imprinting this moment in my mind. The sirens, the officers and firemen calling out commands—it all fades away as I connect with my own flesh and blood for the very first time.
“Cora,” I whisper, allowing her name to sit on my tongue, becoming familiar, special.
She lifts her hands to my face and squishes my cheeks. “Dog dog,” she says in garbled baby talk.
Misty smiles and pats Cora’s back. “No, Cora, that’s your dah-dee, not a doggie.”
“Dah-dah, da-da.”
I smile and kiss her cheek, holding her as close as I can get her. She smells of baby powder and the floral perfume I associate with Misty. “Yes, baby. Your dah-dah.”
I suck in a huge breath of air and let this moment reach into my heart and implant itself there for eternity—the day I met my daughter. I start to look around. The firemen are still putting out the last of the fire. The building is a total loss. The entire structure is charred black.
“This was your building?”
Misty’s eyes fill, and tears fall down her cheeks. “We lost everything.” She gulps and pushes her hand to her mouth, a river of pain and wetness staining her pink tank top. “I don’t know what we’re going to do, where we’re going to go. I can’t afford a new place, and Cora needs diapers and a place to sleep and food…” Her voice rises, tinged with hysteria.
Cora’s little body tightens in my arms, and she swings her head to her mother. “Ma-ma, ma-ma!” She reaches grabbing hands out to her. I don’t want to let her go, but I’m proud of my daughter. Her immediate instinct when hearing her mother’s sadness is to comfort her. Says a great deal about her character already.
Begrudgingly, I let go of Cora and hand her off to Misty.
“You will stay with me.” I say the words before I really understand the ramifications of such a decision.
“But I don’t know how long it will take me to earn enough money to get another place.”
I tighten my hands into fists and focus on my daughter’s angelic face. She will have everything. My girl will want for nothing the rest of her life. Silently, I swear I’m going to make her happy and give her the best life. In order to do that, she needs a home. Mine is practically empty.
“I will take care of her, and you, indefinitely. Right now, this means you will have food, shelter, clothes—all the necessities to lead a happy and healthy life. My daughter will never again go without. Her safety is my number-one priority.” The truth of the statement shoots from my fingertips and out every pore, permeating every fiber of my being.
“What about childcare when I work? Your house will be too far to get to on time…” she says as I lead them to my truck.
“You’re quitting your job. Your job is to take care of Cora right now. I’ll find you something with one of my companies or with my family businesses. This area is history for both of you. Now where’s that piece of shit you call a car? I need to get the car seat.”
“It’s gone.” She cries, more tears pouring down her face as I open the passenger door of my truck.
“What?”
“It was parked in the back, right up against the building. All the cars next to the apartment building are toast. There might be something to salvage, but I don’t know. We can’t get to it to know for sure.”
Her brown eyes widen in fear, a fresh bout of tears wetting her pink cheeks.
I close my eyes and grind my teeth. “Fine. Let’s go to the nearest store to get her a car seat and some essentials for you both. Christ, this is such a clusterfuck,” I say, not meaning to freak her out, even though it does.
�
�I’m sorry, Carson. I’m sorry. I know this is not the way you wanted to connect to Cora. You can see I didn’t have any other option. She is your daughter. Yours and mine. I’ve been taking care of her alone for eighteen months. It’s high time you helped!” Her voice breaks, and the volcano in my chest explodes.
She is right. Cora is my responsibility. Had I known about her earlier, none of this would have ever happened. She’d already be in my life, safe and protected.
I walk around the truck and get into the driver’s seat. Misty holds our baby on her lap. Cora’s being quiet, almost pensive. Smart little girl. She knows something’s not right about the situation, and she’s reacting in a calm way.
I watch her little hands play with her mother’s long blond hair and rest her head against her chest. She stuffs a thumb right into her mouth, and I melt on the spot. What would it feel like to rock her to sleep, to give her a bath, to feed her a meal I made? Soon, I will experience all of these things. Far sooner than I ever dreamed possible.
* * *
The trip to Target was insane. First of all, it was only my second time in a Target. The last time was with Kat, over three years ago. Without sounding pretentious, my family had people who picked up the everyday necessities, and I do as well. My housekeeper purchases household items as needed.
Babies need an enormous amount of shit.
Even with Misty assuring me one cart was enough for today and that what we bought would get the two of them through the next few days, I’m beyond baffled. A few days? It seemed like we had enough shit for a year’s stay. What the hell did I know? I had been happily living my life as a single man with no children when Misty had been busting her ass at a scummy bar, leaving my child to be cared for by God knows who in the interim. That would stop immediately. The only people who will take care of my child from here on out are her mother, me, a trusted member of my family, or a nanny from a reputable firm. And that will only be after several levels of interviews. For now, I’ll take care of them monetarily, and the rest will come with time.
Once we get home, I bring all the bags in and drop them in the living room. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with this stuff. Thank God, Misty dives in like a professional.
I watch her sort the diapers, wipes, baby wash, and diaper cream to one side. Then her own wash and bathroom essentials to another. Mentally I’m evaluating my extra bath. Will it be enough space for both of their things?
“I’m thinking you two should probably take the master bedroom,” I announce out of nowhere, surprising myself once again with my lack of filter.
Misty smiles softly. “That’s kind of you, but the couch will be fine. Like I said, we don’t have to stay forever, but we can make do anywhere. We’ve done it before.”
Her words grate on each and every one of my nerves.
“Misty, I don’t think you understand. The second I put my arms around Cora, she became my daughter. I’m her father. She will have everything she needs from here on out. You, as her mother, are an extension of her. You will be taken care of too.”
She swallows and looks away. “I tried to give her everything, you know.” Her voice cracks. “I may not have a big house like this or the money you have, but I did the best I could.” She sniffles, and her shoulders shake as she sobs silently.
Feeling like a major prick, I crawl over to where she’s crying softly into her hands. I wrap my hands around her, bringing her into my embrace. I whisper against her hairline. “Hey now, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to take care of everything. You did an amazing job. She’s perfect, Misty. Look at her.” Across the room, Cora is playfully pulling out all the books in my bookcase one at a time. I figure she can’t get hurt and they’re easy enough to put back. Plus, she’s having a great time. Once a book falls out, she squeals in delight. “She’s absolutely perfect. You did that. You.”
A warm, small hand falls over mine as I hold her. “We did that, Carson. You and me. And you’re right, she’s perfect.”
The moment feels strange. A tingling in my lower back prickles and then travels up my spine as I hold Misty, my daughter’s mother. It’s nothing like the all-encompassing peace that settles over my body and soul when I hold Kathleen, and yet it’s definitely intimate. Clearing my throat, I push her back and move away a few feet.
“So, um, show me what all this stuff is and let me know what we still need.” I genuinely want to know what these things are. If I’m going to be a father, I need to learn, and fast. “I already feel like I’m behind.”
Misty reaches over and clasps my hand. With a soft smile, she says, “You’re already amazing because you want her in your life. Everything else you’ll learn along the way. And don’t worry, I’ll be here to teach you.”
* * *
“I cannot fucking believe this!” Chase roars through the line.
I cringe and shut the door to my bedroom so that Misty and Cora can’t hear my side of this conversation.
“Believe it.” My tone is gritty and raw. A lot has happened today. Going from being warm and at peace in Kathleen’s bed to changing my entire life within the blink of an eye is messing with my mind, not to mention my heart.
I told her I loved her. I finally said those words for the first time in my entire adult life, and now what? I don’t know what’s up or down, right or left. I have a child I have to take care of. And her mother. Remembering the way Misty placed her hand over mine sends a shiver of dread skittering through me. God, I hope she doesn’t want me to be anything more than a father to our daughter. Just because I moved her in doesn’t mean I’m going to be with her. I just want my daughter and her mother safe and off the streets.
How the fuck am I going to explain this to Kathleen?
Chase’s aggressive tone startles me back to the here and now. “This is insanity! You have a daughter? An eighteen-month-old child you knew nothing about? Jesus, Carson. How is that even possible?”
I take a deep breath and allow his chastisement to hit me in the nuts. “I told you. That night, I didn’t know. I was blitzed out of my mind. And then I never saw her again. Well, until I walked into the same haunt she works at now. Well, did work. She will not be going back to that shithole.”
“This is…fuck! I don’t even know what to say.” After a few moments, he sighs heavily. “How is she? Your daughter?”
Leave it to Chase, Dad of the Century, to go right to the child. Pulling my hand back, I fumble with my phone. “Just a sec. I’ll send you a photo. I snapped one while she was playing a few minutes ago.” I find the picture I took, forward it to Chase, and lift the phone back to my ear.
I know the second Chase gets it. “Sweet mother, she looks exactly like Chloe!” He gasps. “My, the Davis genes are strong. She’s beautiful, Carson. Really lovely.”
My chest lifts with pride. It’s an unusual but not unwanted sensation. “She is. But right now, I need your guidance. Not only do I need family around to help me through this, I need your assistance, man. As in, I need you to bring over something for my kid to sleep in. We picked up pajamas and a car seat, but your kids sleep in a crib. Cora was cranky and needed to rest so we came back home with the first round of loot.”
“Her name is Cora?” His voice softens to the tone I’m used to hearing him use when he speaks to his wife or children.
I smile, feeling that same happiness filter through all the muck of the situation. The man can be a harsh businessman and an overprotective asshole when it comes to his wife and kids, but deep down, he’s very old-fashioned and sentimental.
“Yeah. Fate, right?”
He inhales loudly. “Baby, we need to talk.”
“Oh snookums, I didn’t know you cared,” I say, knowing he’s not addressing me.
“Carson has news.” I hear him say this as if he’s farther away but probably just holding the phone away from his mouth.
“What’s going on?” Gillian’s seductive timbre comes through the phone, concern lacing her words.
; “I’ll tell you shortly, sweetheart, but for now can you get the Pack ’n Play out of the closet in the hall under the stairs?”
“Sure, but why?”
“Soon, my love. Go on. And put on some casual clothes. We’re going out.”
He finishes his conversation with his wife. “Sorry about that, Carson. We’ll be there in an hour. I’ll pull together some essentials to get you through for a while.”
An instant blanket of relief covers me. My family will help me through this. I’m not alone. I’ll never be alone. “Thanks, man. And Chase…there’s more.”
“What more?” His voice hardens instantly.
I close my eyes and remember last night. The unbelievable rightness of being wrapped in Kathleen’s arms. I remember distinctly how it felt to sink deep into her heat, how I finally was able to tell her I loved her. And now this.
“I was with Kathleen last night,” I say in a forced rush of air. It’s as though if I say it fast enough, somehow it will make it all okay. Chase won’t be angry, I won’t be dealing with being a new dad without planning it, and Kathleen and I can ride off into the sunset together.
“Excuse me?”
“Kat and I hooked up. I mean, no, not hooked up. We were together. I mean…”
“You fucked Kathleen last night?” Each word is a tongue-lashing I would expect to get from a parent, not a family member slash best friend.
“Well, yeah, man, I did, but it’s more—”
“And now you have a woman and her child moving into your house?”
“My child, Chase,” I remind him.
“This is so fucked up. What are you going to do about Kathleen?”
I sigh and grip my hair, tugging at the roots until the pain reaches my psyche. “I don’t know. I left in a rush because of the fire and Misty and Cora needing me. I told her I’d call tonight, but how can I? I’ve got another woman in my home with my baby daughter, who needs me.”
“Jesus, you’ve gotten yourself into a prickly situation, haven’t you? I’ll be there soon and we’ll discuss. For now, get your head on straight. Start thinking about what your next steps are both with Misty and with Kathleen. She doesn’t deserve this after everything she’s gone through.”
Fate: A Trinity Novel: Book Five Page 9