“We’re having a baby? You’re pregnant?” I gasp, shock skittering through my veins, making my heart pump double time.
She nods rapidly and doesn’t say anything more.
“How? You had the implant. We had this conversation before. Long time ago.”
“Yeah. So long ago I was supposed to get a new one. The implant only lasts up to four years. I’m a full year past that. At the time I got my renewal card, I blew it off because I was in such a deep depression about my injury and not having you in my life. My future seemed so bleak, and I just…never renewed it. And it didn’t register when we got back together that I’d need to…and…” She starts to shake in my arms.
I press two fingers over her lips. “Shhhh. You’re working yourself up. It’s not good for the baby. Oh my God, what about the Rohypnol? What did Dr. Dutera say?”
“He said the baby is fine. Obviously, we were all surprised by its appearance.” She runs a hand over her flat stomach. I lay my hand over hers.
“We’re having a baby,” I whisper, allowing the awe to roll over me fully.
“Yeah,” is her only reply.
“Oh my God. I’m going to be a daddy!” I smile huge, unable to control how much this news excites me.
“You already are a daddy.” Kat nudges my shoulder playfully.
“Holy shit. I’m going to have two kids.” At first, the thought fills me with joy, and then reality strikes. “I’m going to have two kids out of wedlock. Fuck. Kat, we have to get married. Like, right away.”
She groans and lays her head back. “Not this again.”
“Just promise me you’ll think about it.” If I have any say whatsoever, this woman will be wearing my ring before the year is out.
“How about we deal with Misty and her drugging us first and me getting out of here?”
I close my eyes and press my forehead to hers. We breathe one another’s air for a while. “Are you happy?” I ask her, afraid of what her answer will be.
“Are you?” She answers my question with a question. Typical evasive Kathleen.
I kiss her lips softly, being careful not to put too much pressure on her busted one. “Kathleen, having you in my life is the most natural thing in the world. You carrying my child is my dream. It’s everything I’ve always wanted for us.”
For a long time, she doesn’t say anything. Then finally she adds, “You’re my dream too. And I want this baby. I want you, me, our baby, and Cora to find a way to be happy and together.”
The tears fall again. I wipe them away with my knuckles and kiss her softly. “One day we’ll have that. I feel it deep.”
Together we lie with our hands over her stomach. I can’t feel our baby there yet, but knowing we’ve created life together proves just how much the universe is pushing for us. Now I just have to deal with Misty and get custody of my daughter.
For now, I let it go, close my eyes, and rest my head against the pillow, my hand over my baby and Kathleen’s head over my heart. Nothing else matters but having this woman safely resting in my arms, carrying my entire world within her body, mind, and soul.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
KATHLEEN
Carson is a complete and utter wreck. It’s been ten days since we came home to find his daughter and her mother gone. Not gone for the day, out and about at a park or a playdate.
G-O-N-E.
At the hospital, Carson was released before me. I have suspicions that he released himself against medical advice, because from the second he came to my room and the truth was revealed about our drugging, him being taken advantage of while unconscious, and me telling him about the baby, he hasn’t left my side. While I was in the hospital, he was in the bed with me or in the chair next to the bed when the nurses were seeing to my medication and vitals. It was exactly where I wanted him, so I didn’t complain.
Then we got home and found out Misty had cleared out her clothes, the baby’s clothes and essentials, and her new car was nowhere to be found. Apparently, the day Carson was taken to the hospital by Chase, Misty had gone to the bank, cleared out her accounts, and taken a five-thousand-dollar cash advance from the emergency credit card Carson had given her. She was in the wind with approximately fifteen grand cash in her pocket. Carson had never taken a dime of the money she’d earned from working for Charles as his executive assistant, and the man was generous with his employees. With the way Misty lived in the past, that kind of money could keep her and Cora in hiding for a solid year.
Ten whole days and not a word.
To keep busy, I’m making coffee and puttering around the beach house. I don’t have any idea what to do or how to make him feel better. We haven’t made love since we came home, which has inadvertently put distance between us that I’m eager to fill. Only, I can’t force him to feel good when he’s lost in a vicious haze of worry.
The phone rings. I grab it before Carson and put it on speaker. Carson is quick to stand over the island and stare at the phone.
“Hello, Eli.” I recognize the number and grip the counter for support. Every time he calls, a small bit of Carson’s light flickers out. I know right now Carson wants to grab the phone and hold it to his ear, but we have a pact. No secrets, no matter what.
“Yeah, is Carson there too?” Eli’s gravelly voice comes through the speaker.
“I’m here.”
“I’ve got a lock on her,” Eli says flat out. No lead-in, just straight to the heart of the matter.
Best six words we’ve heard in the better part of two weeks.
Elijah “Eli” Redding is married to my soul sister Maria. He’s also a badass bounty hunter with loads of experience and countless takedowns. Apparently, he’s magical at tracking people and bringing home the bad guy. Even people like Misty, who don’t seem to have much to track. Eli also has his team running deep background on Misty Duncan, who on the surface was clean as a whistle. Probably because she wasn’t always Misty Duncan. That was her dead husband’s last name. Misty isn’t even her real first name. It’s a nickname. She was born Mystique Turner. What kind of name is Mystique? Her mother and father must be as wacky as her. Anyway, that’s the last update we received from Eli’s team.
“Where is she?” Carson says flatly.
“Sin City.”
“Of course. No better place to hide. Bright lights, everyone with a shadow behind their eyes and a secret in their soul,” I add unhelpfully.
“Got word from one of my men a woman matching her description is bartending at some skanky topless shithole called Jugz with a ‘z.’ Started a few days ago. Stands to reason. Close enough to get to quickly and seedy enough to disappear. Unless you know where to look.”
I roll my eyes. Jugz? Really?
Carson leans over the phone. “When can you confirm it’s her?”
“Headed there now with Dice, my best hunter. Davis Industries has a jet ready to go. Got Scooter, my tech, on the background. He’s digging deep. Says he’s close to breaking into something huge. Will call from the air, yeah?”
The veins in Carson’s forearms bulge. “I know you said you don’t want me there, man, but I gotta say, I want to be there.” Carson’s voice is like sandpaper over stone, scratchy and rough. He’s keeping his emotions in check the best he can, but each day his daughter is gone, he loses a bit more of his sanity.
“You’re in no condition, man. I got this. I’ll make sure it’s her. Keep eyes on her until I see the girl. Then we go in. I’ll have them both on the plane back to you before you know it.”
“Eli…” Carson’s voice cracks, and he clears his throat. “Find my daughter. Bring her home.” He closes his eyes and drops his head.
“Most important job I’ve ever had. You have my word I’ll do it right.” Then the line goes dead.
Carson grabs the cordless phone, flings his arm way back as if he’s a professional baseball pitcher, and smashes it into smithereens against the opposite wall. He follows that up with a mighty howl. “Goddamn it!” His shoulders li
ft and fall with every labored breath he sucks in. His head falls forward.
I rush over to him and put my arms around him from behind. “He’s going to find her. He’s going to bring her home. He promised, and Maria swears he’s the best in the business. The best. For Cora. He will find her. You have to believe.”
Carson is no longer able to hold up under the weight of his misery. He falls to his knees, his fists on the tile floor. His entire body shakes, and a sob is torn from his throat. “I just fucking got her, and she’s taken her away. My baby girl. My fucking daughter!” Finally, it comes out. He hasn’t so much as shed a tear since finding out Cora was taken and Misty had skipped town. Instead he’d taken the anger approach, but right now he’s losing it.
I go down to my knees on the cold tile floor next to him, wrap my left arm over his back, and lean toward his head. Tears slip down his nose, falling to the floor in tiny drops. The fear and anxiety has finally taken over. Instinctively, I push him so that he’s sitting on his ass. Within a second, I crawl up into his lap, wrap my legs around his waist, and tuck my head against his neck. I hold him as tight as my arms will allow while he rocks and cries, letting it all go.
“Get it out, baby,” I whisper. “Let it go, because I have a feeling really soon we’re going to have our girl back. She’ll need her daddy to be strong.”
He nods into my neck, not saying a word, just holding me. I don’t know how long we sit like this, but I’m comfortable just being there for him. The daylight shifts, and the sun sets over the ocean. I watch it while he rocks me. When the sun kisses the horizon, I lean back and lift his chin with both of my thumbs. The tears have dried, but the misery in his baby blues is gut-wrenching.
“Eli will find her. He will.”
Carson nods but doesn’t respond. His face is blank. Not even a glimmer of my fun-loving guy is anywhere in sight.
Slowly I kiss his lips. He barely responds with a pucker. Even that simple gesture of love is too much for him. He’s lost, and it’s up to me to bring him back. He needs to find his inner strength for Cora, for the battle ahead, and for us.
Easing out of his lap, I stand up and hold out my hand. He takes it without comment. I help him stand, and while holding his hand, I walk him toward his bedroom and into the bathroom. Once there, I undo each button on his short-sleeved shirt and slip it off his body. The golden chest I love is still beautiful with hard slabs of muscle, squared-off pecs, and abdominals. I slide both hands from his shoulders down the sexy hard male flesh in a blatant caress.
“Come back to me,” I whisper and glance up into his eyes. He’s just watching me, almost as if he’s an outsider looking in and not a participant.
Seems I need to work a little harder. Watching his eyes, I tug at his Levi’s, unbuttoning and then unzipping the jeans before pushing them over his hips. He steps out of them without a word. I glance at his package hidden beneath a pair of burgundy boxer briefs. Unfortunately, there’s no movement happening…yet.
With eager hands, I slip my fingers around his waist, inserting them just under the elastic of his underwear before gripping the fabric.
“Come back to me, Carson.” I push his boxer briefs down to the ground, where once again Carson steps out of them. This time when I look at his eyes, the light blue has darkened, a hint of interest sparking in his gaze.
As efficiently as possible, I lean into the shower and turn on the double heads, getting the large space nice and hot before turning around to continue my task. Using my good arm, I grip the fabric of my jersey top, pull it over my head, and toss it on the ground behind me. He blinks, his eyes going straight to my lace-clad breasts. An eyebrow rises, those blue eyes getting darker, his pupils widening.
There you go, baby. That’s right. Look your fill.
Doing a little wiggle, I push down my skirt, letting it fall into a puddle at my feet. I kick it away and stand before him.
“Touch me. Come back to me,” I say as softly as a prayer in the dark.
He blinks a few times and sucks in a large breath. It’s like a window’s been opened and he’s just sampled a fresh breath of air.
Still, he doesn’t touch, just looks. His fingers curl into his palms, creating fists. I don’t know if he’s purposely holding himself back or… Hell, I don’t know what’s going on in that head of his right now. I just know he needs to feel. Feel something other than worry, fear, and anger. He needs to feel loved, and this is the only way I know I can reach him. At least I hope I can.
With a flick of my fingers, I undo the front clasp of my bra—the smartest invention ever made, especially since I have the full use of only one hand. I shrug my shoulders until the lavender lace falls to the floor. Not even looking at his face, I shove down the matching lace bikini briefs and kick them away.
I take a breath, lift my head, and stare directly into Carson’s eyes. I stand before the man I love, naked, giving everything I am in the hope it’s enough to bring him back from the dark place he’s entered.
Carson blinks, his eyes shifting, and the gaze I adore leaves my face to scan down my body and back up. When our eyes meet again, his are blazing hot pools of desire. I swallow but don’t move a muscle. The only movement is the slight rise and fall of my chest with each breath I take, waiting, needing him to accept the gift I’m giving.
Finally, he speaks.
“You’re so beautiful. I can barely breathe when I look at you. Sometimes I think you’ll just disappear and I’ll be alone again.”
I wrap my arms around him and plaster my naked body against his. “Everything I am, all that I have, I’m entrusting to you. You’ll never be alone as long as I live. I promise.” My words are a vow, one I know I’ll never break.
Carson’s body trembles in my arms as he tucks me close, his mouth near my ear. “I’m going to hold you to that promise.”
“Just as long as you always hold me.”
“Always,” he says before his mouth comes down to mine.
* * *
Steam billows around us as Carson moves deep within me. One of my legs is hiked up over his hip, the other holds me upright. He moves his hands all over me. From my neck, down my shoulders, and over my breasts, where he stops to give a delectable tug on both tips simultaneously. He continues his journey down along my hips, where he grips tight, digging four fingers into the fleshy areas, pounding harder. His thumbs span my lower abdomen. Using the full force of his hips, he presses deep and stays, his cock so hard, filling me so completely and deliciously I could die. He reverses just enough so he can caress those digits lovingly over where our baby is growing, seemingly mesmerized by the area.
“Gonna put more of these in you.” His voice is a sex-roughened rumble. “Many more,” he promises, pulling back out to the tip and ramming deep once more. I cling to his back and arch into the pleasure.
I’m incapable of responding to his delusions of grandeur in the kid department, because just then he moves one hand between us and uses his glorious thumb to swirl around my clit in dizzying circles. I cry out and shoot to the height of passion, tumbling right over the edge into the beauty that is Carson and me.
“Christ. Your pussy is so fucking tight when you come,” he growls, taking my mouth and kissing me hard, elongating my orgasm to an epic degree.
“Need a taste of that,” he murmurs and bites my earlobe. Quick as a shot his dick is gone, still hot and hard in front of me. I whimper at the loss, not exactly needing it after a blistering orgasm but wanting his thickness inside me all the same. The shower beats down on his back and now my front as he kisses his way down my body, paying special attention to both erect tips. He bites down hard on my left nipple until I hiss and grip his head, weaving my hands into his wet locks. Carson grins and looks up while sucking hard and biting the second one until I whine. He’s rocketing my previously sated body back up into hyperdrive all over again.
“You’re crazy, you know that?” I groan as he drags his teeth down the center of my belly and nips at the tr
iangle of hair nestled neatly between my thighs. The action sends another spark of pain pleasure barreling through since I know exactly where he’s going to end up.
He kneels in front of me and lifts my leg up and onto the tile seat that runs across the back of the shower. “Crazy in love with you. And after the past two weeks of hell, I’m going to lose myself in your magnificent body.”
I close my eyes, letting the words slip dreamily over my senses. There was a time in the not so distant past where I wouldn’t have believed a word of what he’s saying. Now I know better. He doesn’t see the scars as ugly or disgusting. He sees them as reminders of my survival. And because of them, I’m still here, about to be taken over completely by the man who loves me and will continue to do so until the end of time. I wholeheartedly embrace this to be fact, and the proof is growing within me. A piece of Carson and me. A child who will bind us together forever no matter what trials and tribulations life throws in our paths. We’ll handle them together.
Carson nips and sucks at the tender skin of my inner thigh, bringing me back to the moment. I open my eyes and glance down, curling my hand around his chin. I lift my hand and then run my fingers and nails over his scalp until he groans. His pupils dilate until there’s hardly any blue remaining. I cup the back of his nape and lead him toward my open center. He grins and places a hand on my opposite leg, running it up the back until he’s cupping my ass. He uses it as leverage and pulls me onto his mouth in a burst of fiery passion.
I cry out when his mouth covers the wet heart of me and his tongue dives deep. He alternates between lapping at my clit in hard presses and soft nips with his teeth to fucking me with his tongue. Shamelessly, I hold his head and grind against his face, allowing his nose and the scruff of his chin to penetrate me along with his talented mouth.
My second orgasm builds slowly, and I know it’s going to be a doozy. Just when I get acclimated to his ministrations, he changes it up, inserting two fingers deep, hooking and rubbing along that intense spot hidden inside. He focuses on my clit with his mouth, sucking hard and long until my entire body sizzles with heat. Ribbons of electricity shoot straight up my body, and I go rigid, readying for the mother of all orgasms to hit.
Fate: A Trinity Novel: Book Five Page 21