by Tami Hoag
“And ridiculous,” he grumbled as he selected a pair of jeans from the section of the closet where all his slacks hung in neat groups—dress slacks, casual slacks, dress jeans, old jeans. He pulled a blue plaid flannel shirt from the casual shirt group, then picked up a gray sweatshirt from the cubicle where he stored them and his crew-neck sweaters. He snatched up a pair of sneakers from the neat row of shoes on the floor.
It was as if she had to be all things to all people. Supermom syndrome, that’s what it was, he decided. Well, being a supermom was all well and good, Alec thought, but what was going to become of the part of Kelsie that wasn’t a mom? What about her needs as a woman?
“That,” Alec said to his reflection in the mirror after he had dressed, “is where I come in, Kelsie.”
Sunday. It was supposed to be a day of rest, wasn’t it? Kelsie asked herself as she laced on a pair of figure skates. She was dog tired from the long day she’d put in at Big Olie’s, but she’d promised the kids a day at the ice arena to brush up on their skills before their respective seasons of hockey and figure skating began. So she laced on her skates and daydreamed about spending the day soaking in a tub of bubbles, where the water never got cold and she never dropped her book in and the phone never rang and none of the cats came in to stare at her as she bathed.
A long hot bath. A long hot bath with Alec McKnight.
Blast, she thought as heat rose in her cheeks despite the less than toasty temperature in the skating rink, why could she not stop thinking about him?
“Come on, Mom!” Jeffrey called as he zoomed past, weaving through the other skaters making their way around the rink at various speeds. Several, like Jeff, seemed bent on setting new speed-skating records and scaring the devil out of the less accomplished skaters. Others moved at a more leisurely pace, enjoying the piped-in waltz music and the rhythmic motion of skating in time to it. Elizabeth was at the center of the ice practicing spins. Then there were the beginners, who had obviously decided to try to master the basic skills before winter came and the rinks got crowded.
Kelsie carefully made her way onto the ice, then gasped. Across the rink a man who looked amazingly like Alec was struggling along through the crowd. It was Alec! “What are you doing here?” she asked when he’d caught up with her.
“Enjoying myself immensely,” he said. “We’d better move before we get run over.” He was teetering precariously. “I haven’t been on skates since I was twelve,” he said. “How about helping me get the hang of it again?”
Kelsie tugged at the collar of her turtleneck as Alec’s smile warmed her. The effect he had on her body’s responses was unlike anything she’d ever encountered. That knowledge, along with the realization that she really did want to have a relationship with him, coupled to double the sense of panic welling up inside her. She swallowed hard, pushing the sensation back down to her stomach.
“If you haven’t been on skates in all that time, why are you here today?” she asked.
He let his gaze caress her before he answered. “Because you are.”
Her involuntary little gasp delighted him. Every response she gave him was encouragement. He took it and her arm with a grin and tried to scoot far enough away from the rink boards to get going. They made their way around the ice in fits and starts. Every time it seemed Alec was getting his balance and rhythm back, he would suddenly find himself struggling to remain on his feet. It didn’t help that he and Kelsie laughed hard enough to fall over every time it happened either.
After three grueling trips around the rink, Alec begged for a breather. He followed Kelsie off the ice and collapsed onto a bench beside her. His legs felt like sprung springs. It was an unpleasant surprise to discover that the muscles he toned and hardened every morning running along Lake Minnetonka were apparently not the same muscles he needed to ice-skate.
“Mom, can I get a Coke?” Elizabeth asked, stepping through the gate from the ice to the locker area. She was out of breath, her cheeks flushed from the exertion of practicing spins and jumps. Her long blond braid hung down over one shoulder, blocking out part of the pattern of her soft blue ski sweater. She wore heavy blue tights and a bouncy fuchsia skating skirt.
“Sure, sweetheart. My purse is in the locker. Let me get the key out of my pocket,” Kelsie said, lifting her hips off the bench so she could get her hand into the pocket of her faded jeans.
“I’ve got change,” Alec said, digging into his own pocket more to distract himself from Kelsie’s squirming hips than anything else.
Elizabeth gave him a curious look, then glanced at her mother.
“Elizabeth, this is Alec McKnight, a friend of mine,” Kelsie said, curious to see her daughter’s reaction. Elizabeth’s eyes widened into two huge blue pools.
“We’ve spoken on the phone,” Alec said, handing the girl change for the pop machine. He gave her his most charming smile as well. “I’d stand up, but I’m not too steady on these things. It’s nice to meet you, Elizabeth.”
“Oh…” was all she managed to say. “A—um—it’s nice to meet you too. Thanks for the change,” she stammered, and retreated to the Coke machine.
“Pretty girl,” Alec commented softly, his eyes on Kelsie’s face. “Takes after her mother, I’d say.”
“Thank you.” She smiled shyly, looking down at her skates. “I think she was impressed with you too.”
“You think so?” With cool, gentle fingers he tipped her chin up and turned her face toward his. “Have I managed to impress her mother in the least?” he asked quietly, letting his fingertips roam over her face, tracing the shape of her dark, sexy eyebrows, the contours of her rosy cheeks, the outline of her daintily sculptured upper lip and its full, soft counterpart.
Kelsie’s heart raced and her breath became shallow, as if Alec’s tantalizing touch were somehow robbing the oxygen from her. All she managed was to whisper his name before he leaned down and captured her lips with his.
A shower of ice sprayed over them from the other side of the gate. Kelsie jerked back as her son clomped off the ice looking every inch the rough and ready hockey player. His hair was disheveled, his jaw set at a pugnacious angle. The dark eyebrows he’d inherited from his mother slashed down over his brown eyes as he scowled at her and Alec as he walked past them, driving a hand into one of the many pockets of his camouflage pants to dig out two quarters for the soda machine.
“I’m sorry, Alec,” Kelsie said, trying to keep her own temper in check. “Jeffrey’s manners are nowhere near that bad most of the time. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“Really?”
“You think you do?”
He glanced at Kelsie. “I think he’s not too crazy about having me interested in his mother. Is he close to his dad?”
Kelsie sighed as she watched her son drink his soda and crush the can. “He would like to be.”
“What’s that mean?” Alec asked gently.
“It means Jeff’s father isn’t terribly interested in his son at present. I’m sure that will change when Jeff is old enough to be on the varsity hockey team. Then he’ll be valuable to Jack as something to brag about.”
Feeling suddenly very tired, she leaned her head on Alec’s shoulder without even thinking about it, and sighed. It felt good to have that solid square of muscle and bone to lean against, to have a strong arm cross her back and a firm hand cup her shoulder. When had she become so comfortable in Alec’s presence? She didn’t know, but when he asked her what had gone wrong with her marriage, she didn’t hesitate to tell him.
“Nothing that hasn’t happened to millions of marriages,” she said. “We got married too young and grew apart. Ten years later we wanted different things. I wanted a station wagon and a house in the country. Jack wanted a Corvette and a receptionist named Dawn. What happened to yours?”
“I wasn’t useful anymore,” he said, stroking her shoulder in a soothing rhythm. It felt good to have Kelsie lean against him, to have her let her guard down for once. It
was almost as good as an admission of need, and he very much wanted Kelsie to need him. “Vena’s modeling career had taken off. She wanted someone more important.”
He sat her up and winked at her. “How about a few more turns around the ice? Think you can keep up with me?”
“Ha! I think my grandma could keep up with you! Come on, let’s see how many feet you can go before you land on your keister.”
As she helped Alec struggle around the rink, Kelsie gave a lot of thought to the feelings he evoked in her. She hadn’t had this kind of fun in so long—hell, she thought to herself, she’d never had this kind of fun. She genuinely liked being with Alec, and every time she saw him, her heart did a flip that could have gotten it a spot on the U.S. gymnastics team.
“Time! Time out!” Alec tripped his way to the boards. “I’ve got a cramp in my foot!”
“Giving up, McKnight?” Kelsie asked, turning and skating back to him.
He wagged a finger at her. “Next time we do something I’m good at. How are you on the ski slopes, Dorothy Hamill?”
Kelsie laughed. “Have you ever seen ‘the agony of defeat’ at the beginning of Wide World of Sports?”
Alec laughed, then a look of wonder came into his eyes. Hoping he wouldn’t lose his balance and dump them both, he pulled Kelsie into his arms and brushed her hair back from her face. “Hey,” he said, “you didn’t try to tell me there wouldn’t be a next time. Was that an oversight on your part, or are you coming around to my way of thinking?”
“I don’t know,” she said, taking a deep, ragged breath, her gaze locking on his as if to draw strength from the intense power there. “I still don’t know if it can work, Alec. You’ve seen the kind of life I live.”
“It’s just a matter of making time for what’s important, Kelsie,” he said softly, his heart pounding above hers as he held her to him. “I have a busy life, too, but it’s important to me to be able to see you.” More important than he’d realized, he thought as he waited for her answer to his question. “Is it important to you to be able to see me?”
To see Alec was fast becoming as important to her as eating. Lately she found herself craving the sight of him more than she craved chocolate. Another wave of fear broke over her, but she shook it off.
“Yes,” she said softly, but with the conviction of a shout.
His kiss was exuberant, jubilant, and ended with both of them crashing to the ice.
♥ Uploaded by Coral ♥
SIX
“NO, MILLARD,” KELSIE said, holding the phone between her shoulder and one ear as she tried to put an earring in her other earlobe. “I really don’t think you should count on getting another crack at the Van Bryant deal.”
“Has the decision been made, then?”
“No. They have to wait until Mr. Van Bryant gets back from Europe. I’m not holding out much hope though.”
As Millard Krispin whined about how unfair Alec McKnight was being to Darwin, Jeffrey burst into the house, his face literally glowing with excitement. He’d been talking of nothing but the outing with his father to the college basketball game for a week. Now that the event was at hand, he seemed ready to explode with impatience.
Knowing Millard had another five minutes of droning left, Kelsie put a hand over the mouthpiece of the receiver. “Supper’s ready; it’s in the oven.”
“I can’t have supper, Mom; I won’t have any room left for all the great junk at the ball game!”
“Silly me,” she murmured as he charged off to his room. “Why should you have something nutritious when you can have chili dogs and caramel corn?”
“… And Darwin was upset for several days after that meeting,” Millard finished.
Kelsie mouthed along with that part of his speech. He’d given it to her half a dozen times since the disaster in Alec’s office. Alec. He had stopped by the shoot today and asked her to go to a hockey game with him tonight… and, lo and behold, she could since Jeffrey would be with his father and Elizabeth was going to a slumber party.
When she got off the phone she stuck the uneaten casserole into the refrigerator, pulled Randolph, the new kitty, out as she shut the door, then headed for the bathroom to finish her makeup. She had twenty minutes to get gorgeous before Alec arrived.
As she passed through the living room, the phone rang again. She snatched it up with a friendly hello that died on her lips when she heard Jack Connors’s voice. With every word he spoke, she felt sicker and sicker. He was backing out on his promise to Jeffrey, and he wasn’t even man enough to tell their son himself.
Jeffrey was sprawled on his bed, poring over a sports magazine, when Kelsie stepped into his room. The tan walls were papered with posters of his favorite sports stars and pictures of animals.
“This guy is so awesome!” Jeff raved, pointing to a picture of one of the Gopher basketball stars. “I’ll bet he’s gonna score about fifty points tonight.”
Kelsie bit her lip as she sank down onto the bed. She didn’t think she’d ever dreaded anything so much in her life as having to tell her son he wasn’t going to this ball game.
“Jeff,” she said softly, barely able to look at him, “that was your dad on the phone.”
As he sat up, the boy’s expression went carefully blank, but he couldn’t erase the look of fear from his warm brown eyes. He knew what was coming; Kelsie could see it. Jack had disappointed him too many times for him not to know. It didn’t make it any easier for her to tell him.
“He can’t make it tonight. Something came up. I’m so sorry, honey.”
The day had come for him to find out there wasn’t a Santa Claus, Kelsie thought as she watched his fragile hopes for a relationship with his father shatter into a million irreparable shards. Her eyes filled with tears as quickly as Jeffrey’s did.
Fighting valiantly to not cry, Jeff looked down at his magazine. “Why does he hate me so much?”
He sounded so small and lost, it tore Kelsie’s heart in two and defeated her in her own battle against tears. They spilled over their boundaries and ran down her cheeks as she took her son in her arms and held him close.
“I’m sorry he’s not the father you want him to be, Jeff,” she whispered into his hair.
He let go of his pride, all the hurt and disappointment pouring out of him in heart-wrenching sobs. Kelsie wanted to do something, to say something to comfort him, but all she could do was hold him and whisper over and over how sorry she was, as if it were her fault because she had married Jack.
Alec turned his car into Kelsie’s drive and parked it, whistling as he climbed out. He was going to have Kelsie all to himself for the entire evening. If luck was with him, Jeffrey would be spending the night with his father. Alec looked up at the cloudy black sky and whispered, “Please.”
His overactive imagination had spent the better part of the afternoon mapping out the scenario. After the North Stars won the hockey game in a thrilling overtime finish, he would drive Kelsie back to her house—because it was closer to the Met Center—and spend the next five or six hours making love to her. If he could stand it, he would spend at least an hour undressing her, lingering over her lacy lingerie. His body tightened at the thought. Maybe he would have to make love to her first and then spend an hour peeling off her underwear, he thought, grinning as he punched the doorbell.
His grin faded as the door swung open to reveal Kelsie’s tear-stained face.
“Kelsie! Honey, what’s wrong?” He didn’t wait to be asked in. He was through the door and had it closed behind him before Kelsie could sniffle. His cold hands stroked her mussed hair back from her face as he took in every nuance of her expression—the pale strain, the trembling of her soft mouth, the agony in her red-rimmed eyes. “What is it, sweetheart? Are the kids okay?”
Kelsie pulled together what little strength she had left; she felt so tired, so drained. “I’m sorry, Alec,” she said in a rusty voice. “I can’t go with you tonight. Jeff’s dad backed out on taking him to the ball game.”
It took a moment for the importance of what she’d said to sink in. Why would she be crying because of that? They could simply hire a sitter, couldn’t they? Then the sound of crying came to him from somewhere in the house and he realized there was more to the situation than a minor disappointment and inconvenience.
He remembered what Kelsie had told him when he’d asked if Jeffrey was close to his father. “He would like to be,” she had said. Now the little boy was sobbing his heart out because the one man who should have adored him hadn’t seen fit to keep what was to Jeffrey a very important promise.
“I knew this was coming,” Kelsie said, turning away from him. She raked a hand through her tangled blond hair and leaned against the back of the brown tweed recliner, her foot absently shoving stray shoes beneath it. She’d never felt more miserable or more of a failure. “I knew it was coming, but now that it’s here, I don’t know what to say to him. How do you tell a little boy his father doesn’t care about anyone but himself?”
She swiped a rumpled tissue under her red-tipped nose and pounded her fist against the chair. “Dammit, I feel so helpless!”
Like magic Alec’s arms were around her and her cheek was pressed to his chest, her tears soaking into his jewel-blue sweater. She leaned against him, her hands clutching at his back, because she couldn’t muster the strength to pull away. She felt utterly helpless and it terrified her, just as it had terrified a shy farm girl with no job skills when she had first realized she would have to go it alone with two small children to raise. How she hated that feeling. How she had fought to overcome the need to be dependent on someone. Yet here she was, leaning on Alec.
Deep inside it felt right to have him hold her, her knight in shining armor. It frightened her, too, but instead of trying to deal with all the conflicting emotions within her, Kelsie did her best to push them to a far corner of her mind. She had more important things to worry about at the moment.
“I’m sorry about the hockey game, Alec. You can still go—”