by Tami Hoag
He stroked her until she was sobbing for him, beyond holding back. Parting her thighs with his knees, he sought entry, almost losing what little control he had left when Kelsie’s hand closed around his shaft to guide him into her.
“Oh, Alec, it feels so good!” she said with a moan, arching her hips up to his as he pressed deep with a slow, careful thrust.
“Oh, yes. Sooo good,” he answered, forcing himself to be still for a moment while they savored their first union. Leaning on his elbows, he brushed her tangled hair back from her face and gazed down at her. “I dreamed of this. Of being inside you and having your legs wrapped around me, pulling me deeper and deeper.”
“I dreamed it too,” she whispered, gasping a little as her body adjusted to the size and strength of him. “Of having my arms around you and having you inside me so deep and so hard.” She managed a weak laugh. “This is a lot more satisfying than a dream.”
Alec lowered his head to kiss her, murmuring against her lips, “No dream ever came close to this.”
From that moment words lost all importance. Kelsie and Alec moved together, sometimes slowly, sometimes with a wild urgency. They rolled across the bed, tangling in the sheets as they sought positions that allowed more closeness or different degrees of sensation. In the end, Kelsie straddled Alec, their gazes locked, and each watched the other’s face as passion rewarded them with a pleasure that soared beyond the realm of mortal description.
For a long while afterward they lay together, drifting on a sea of contentment, too exhausted to speak, too happy to move. Alec had managed to pull the down comforter over them, and they cuddled together, sighing and nuzzling and kissing while the fire popped and sizzled across the room.
At long last Kelsie raised her head from his shoulder and smiled down at him like a cat drunk on cream. “That was—”
He pressed a finger to her lips, his dimples cutting into his cheeks. “Let’s not even try to put it into words.”
“For you too?” she asked, a little nervous. She had been so lost in the pleasure he had given her, she hadn’t had time to worry whether or not Alec was finding her lacking in any way.
“You better believe it,” he said, rolling her beneath him. His hands cupping her buttocks, he lifted her hips and slid into her again, loving her gently this time.
Afterward, he climbed out of bed, stoked the fire, then left the room, returning with a full snifter of brandy and what was left of the box of chocolates. They sat up in bed sharing the drink, feeding each other bites of candy. After the third piece Alec insisted on licking the chocolate off Kelsie’s fingers, then she reciprocated, and suddenly the food and drink were forgotten.
It was just after one when Kelsie finally looked at the clock. Alec had turned the light off and they lay entwined under the covers. Moonlight flooded the room through the wall of glass. The embers of the fire glowed in the grate. On the stand beside the bed the brilliant green digits of Alec’s alarm clock proclaimed the party was over.
“Alec?” Kelsie whispered, not certain whether he was asleep or awake.
“What, honey?”
“I have to go home.”
He said nothing for a moment, then his arms tightened around her and he uttered one word. “Stay.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t. I wish I could,” she said, feeling a strange sense of panic. She wished she could stay with him and yet, she wanted to be home. Home and safe were the words that came to mind. How ridiculous. She’d never felt safer than when she had Alec’s arms around her. Then she remembered the first time he’d kissed her and how she hadn’t felt safe until she’d gotten a door between them.
“I know you can’t stay,” he said. “I was being selfish. I’m sorry.”
The drive back to Eden Prairie was silent and too short. Kelsie sat next to Alec with his arm around her and her head on his shoulder. She felt a need to be close to him after what they had shared, but in a way she couldn’t understand, he seemed distant, as if for some reason he had retreated within himself. He seemed almost as cold and unapproachable as he had when she had first seen him in his office. She couldn’t think of anything to say to break the spell.
When they reached her house, Alec walked her to the door.
“Can I see you tomorrow night?” he asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his heavy black wool topcoat.
Kelsie frowned. “I volunteered to chaperone Elizabeth’s Junior Achievers group to a craft fair in Stillwater, and they’re having a party afterward.”
“Monday?” he asked, his jaw tightening.
“Jeff has Cub Scouts. I’m sorry.”
Alec reined back a sigh and tried again. “What about Tuesday?”
“I have lingerie parties Tuesday and Thursday nights, and Wednesday is the League of Businesswomen.”
Shaking his head, Alec let go of the harsh sigh in a puff of cold white breath. He gave her a wry smile that held no humor and less charm. “Why don’t you just call me when you think you can work me into your calendar.”
His tone of voice stung, a pain that was reflected in the look she gave him. “Alec, that’s not fair. You know I have responsibilities—”
“Well, forgive me if I think what we have together is a little more important than the League of Businesswomen. I love you, Kelsie. Fit that into your schedule,” he said, and stormed back to his car, anger obvious in every stride.
Stunned, Kelsie watched him go, unable to move or speak. Finally she bolted off the steps and ran after him, but he had already climbed into the car. “Alec, wait!” she called as he shifted the BMW into drive. “Alec, I love you!”
Her voice trailed off into the still of the night, like the cloud of exhaust from the sleek black car as it headed back toward Minnetonka.
“Damn,” she muttered, suddenly colder inside than the November night.
Alec lay fully clothed across his bed, unaware of what time it was, and uncaring. The night sky had turned as black as his mood and was sending down a shower of snow, snow as cold as the lump of fear in his belly.
When had he fallen in love with Kelsie Connors? Did it matter? He was in love with her now, in deeper than he’d ever been in his life. And he was scared. Vena had left his heart battered and bruised.
Now he needed Kelsie to need him. He needed to be important to her. These were feelings he’d kept hidden from himself; uncovering them was frightening. It was terrifying to suddenly discover he was vulnerable, that his knight’s armor couldn’t protect him—and it was ironic. In the beginning he had set out to rescue Kelsie. Now he was the one who needed rescuing, and it was entirely possible that Kelsie would think herself too busy to save him.
EIGHT
ALEC SAT AT his desk, staring blindly at the papers spread out across the smooth oak top. His secretary, Ms. Bond, rambled in with a cigarette dangling from her lip, a stack of mail in one meaty hand, and a stoneware mug of steaming coffee in the other.
“Can you believe that Art Parnell?” she complained in her Yosemite Sam voice. “He actually wants to hire cocktail waitresses in skimpy Santa outfits for the Christmas party. Sexist creep.”
When no comment came from her boss, Ms. Bond gave him a look, plunking down his coffee cup and mail. “Are you having an out-of-body experience or what?”
“Huh?” Alec’s head snapped up. He hated it when Ms. Bond snuck up on him. A person needed a little preparation time before looking up into that Hulk Hogan face of hers.
“Maybe we should feed you this coffee intravenously.”
“Coffee. Thanks,” he said, sipping gingerly at the black brew. “What were you saying about Art Parnell?”
“He’s a moron.” Ms. Bond had no regard for the man’s rank at Glendenning. She had been with the company since day one. No one was going to mess with her position.
Alec made a face. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he complained testily.
“All right, Eugene Van Bryant is back from Belgium with his child bride. He’s coming t
o this office in an hour, and you’re sitting here like something out of Dawn of the Dead.”
A scowl pulled his straight dark brows low over his eyes. “I knew all that too,” he said.
Unintimidated, Ms. Bond leaned across the desk and patted Alec’s cheek like a worried mother. “This isn’t like you. Pull yourself together. Consider my reputation. How would I face the other secretaries if word got out my boy-wonder boss was slipping?”
Alec forced a facsimile of his wily smile. Ms. Bond was the original battle ax, but he wouldn’t have traded her for any three other secretaries in the place. She was efficient, undyingly loyal, and no one got past her desk without an appointment. “Don’t worry, Ms. Bond, I’ll charm his socks off.”
When Ms. Bond had gone, Alec leaned back in his chair, heaving a sigh and rubbing his right earlobe between thumb and forefinger. His secretary was right, this wasn’t like him. One of his most notable attributes had always been the ability to attack a project with awesomely single-minded determination. There hadn’t been a distraction invented that could sway him from a job. Until Kelsie Connors.
Thoughts of Kelsie took precedence over everything because he was in love with her. He was in so deep, it scared him silly. He had even taken a day off work to try to get a handle on his feelings. He had talked his father into going pheasant hunting, then had proceeded to moon around, brooding as they followed the bird dog through the fields. He hadn’t shot anything, not that he could hit the broadside of a barn—he hadn’t gone hunting since he was a teenager—but he hadn’t even raised the gun. Finally his dad had sat him down on a fallen log and dragged the whole story out of him.
He felt a little better having gotten it off his chest, but nothing much had changed. As soon as he got home he dashed to Kelsie’s house with a box of devil’s-food cupcakes and an apology for having acted like a bastard. She had forgiven him, then run off to the Cub Scout meeting with Jeffrey. Their only contact since then had been stilted conversations over the phone.
He was going to have to bide his time with her. Those words were just as true coming from Bud McKnight’s mouth as they had been coming from Alec’s own. Kelsie had told him straight off she didn’t have time for a relationship; he had no right to throw a tantrum about it now. Her world wasn’t going to come to a grinding halt because Alec McKnight was suddenly in love with her.
She loves me, too, he reminded himself. She had told him so. Somehow, that knowledge didn’t console him the way it should have. It didn’t quiet the fear that she was never going to find time for them to be together.
Forcing his attention to the work on his desk, Alec shook his head. Of all the ideas his staff had presented him for the new Van Bryant campaign, he was still hanging on to Steve Randall’s Darwin the chimp idea—not because he liked it, but because of Kelsie. He wanted to help her because he loved her. He hated to see her working day and night, hated to see her worrying about bills. At the same time, it went against him to include the Darwin idea in what he was about to show Van Bryant. He didn’t think it was the right approach for the store’s campaign. He didn’t think it was right for him to include it simply because he was in love with the chimp’s agent.
Or did it all really come down to the possibility that he was afraid, a little voice asked him. He sat up straight and stiff in his chair at the thought, his shoulders squared defensively, a scowl on his face. The little voice was undaunted. Wasn’t he really afraid Van Bryant would like the idea, and Kelsie would leave him in the dust once he wasn’t useful to her anymore? Just like Vena had.
The truth at last, he thought, thoroughly disgusted with himself.
He would include Steve Randall’s ideas with the rest. The ultimate decision was Eugene Van Bryant’s to make anyway.
“I’m sorry, Alec,” Mr. Van Bryant said, shaking his head gravely. He motioned to the campaign ideas Alec had shown him thus far. “These don’t do it for me.”
Alec couldn’t keep his eyes from straying to the new Mrs. Van Bryant, who had accompanied her husband to learn more about the business. It was doubtful Eugene said anything like that about her. Van Bryant’s junior by a good thirty years, Krissie was a doe-eyed brunette with an incredible body poured into a baby-blue knit dress. Rumor—and the rest of the Van Bryant clan—claimed the young woman was a gold digger. Alec reserved judgment. Eugene was no toad. There was something reminiscent of Cary Grant in the older man’s distinguished looks. Who was to say the old guy couldn’t hook a looker like Krissie? Love, as Alec was discovering, was a very funny business.
“I’m not saying they aren’t good ideas,” Van Bryant continued. “I just feel it’s time for something really different for us. I’m sick of Van Bryant’s being considered a snobby store. While Krissie and I were in Europe, I decided the time has come for a change for Van Bryant Department Stores. Change is what keeps us young. I know the rest of the family disagrees with me about the new image, but to hell with them; I’m still in charge here. I want Van Bryant’s to be young, trendy, in a word—fun.”
Alec’s head lifted a fraction. He gave Van Bryant his most engaging grin. “Then you’ll want to take a look at this last idea I have here for you, Mr. Van Bryant. How do you feel about chimpanzees?”
The phone rang as Kelsie fed the last of the rabbits. Her heart bolted at the thought that it could be Alec. After trying to call him a hundred times since they had parted on such a bad note, she had grown to know and hate his answering machine but had come no closer to mending the rift between them. Then he had shown up on her doorstep with a box of cupcakes, an apology, and a smile that made the first two items completely unncessary.
Honestly—Kelsie shook her head as she crossed the basement to the phone on her desk—when Alec got within arm’s length of her and smiled that smile, it was like being put under hypnosis. She would have forgiven him anything, would have done anything for him.
She snatched the receiver up with a breathless greeting.
“Is this Monkey Business?” a man’s voice asked.
“Yes, it is,” she said, disappointed it wasn’t Alec and angry with herself for it. She needed the business; she should have been ecstatic.
“Great. Listen, we’ve got this bachelor party Friday night, and monkey business is just what we’ve got in mind, if you know what I mean,” he said with a lascivious chuckle.
Kelsie heaved a sigh and sank down onto her squeaky desk chair. “This isn’t that kind of business.”
“You don’t show up at parties and dance around and take your clothes off?”
“Not if my life depended upon it. Good-bye.” Recradling the receiver, it occurred to her she should have tried to get the man to hire Darwin the chimp. Darwin could have entertained the troops by throwing lingerie around and swinging from the drapes. She shook her head. “You’re really stooping low, Kelsie. Low. Reptile’s belly-on-the-ground low.”
It was a sign of her nervousness about the coming months. While her Christmas-season bookings were respectable, with clients hired out for parties and pageants and sleigh rides at area shopping malls, January and February were virtually empty. As she thought about what her heating bills were going to be for those same months, premature chills ran through her.
The phone rang again and she lifted the receiver, hoping there would be a legitimate job prospect on the other end of the line.
“Kelsie Connors.”
“Is this the Kelsie Connors with the sexy eyebrows?”
Suddenly she felt as if she were cocooned in sun-warmed silk. “Alec.” She could see his smile and lake-blue eyes as clearly as if he were right there in her basement.
“How’d you know it was me?” he asked. “You must get dozens of calls like that every day.”
“As a matter of fact, I did just get a call requesting I dance around and take my clothes off at a bachelor party.”
“What?” he sat up in his chair, distinctly displeased at the idea of some other guy making suggestions like that to Kelsie.
; “A misunderstanding. That’s what I get for coming up with a name like Monkey Business. What’s up?”
Alec gave her a wicked chuckle. “How can you ask me a question like that after talking about dancing around and taking your clothes off?”
“Al-ec!” she said with a groan, blushing like a teenager.
“Can you get away for lunch?” he asked, crossing his fingers. “It’s business.”
“Business? The kind that pays money?”
“You bet.”
“What is it?”
“Ah! It’s a surprise. Can you be at my office by eleven-thirty?”
Kelsie took deep breaths as she rode the elevator up toward the offices of Glendenning Advertising. She was nervous—a good kind of nervous—about the business Alec wanted to talk about. She was nervous about seeing Alec. They had made up—if it really could be called that—but they were still stepping around each other like cats walking on egg shells. At least they had been before his phone call this morning. It wasn’t anything obvious, just a sensation she had that wouldn’t leave no matter how many times she pictured his smile. His anger had hung a wall between them, a thin, invisible wall, but a wall just the same.
She had warned him, she thought defensively. She had said she didn’t have time in her life for an affair. There were already so many demands on her time, and now part of her wanted to chuck it all and live only for Alec. That terrified her. She couldn’t let herself fall into a dependent relationship again. She should never have let him talk her into dating him.
“As if I had a choice,” she grumbled to herself. The guy could have made a million bucks as a door-to-door salesman. Certainly there wasn’t a woman on the planet who wouldn’t have melted at the sight of his wily smile. And when he set his mind to something, there was no changing it. The combination of his cut-from-granite determination and all-American-rascal charm was lethal. He could have sold sports cars to the Amish. “You never stood a chance, Kelsie.”