‘Whose house are you going to? Are their parents going to be there?’
Frankie spoke earnestly. ‘We’re going round Joey’s friend David’s house. And I’m not going to lie to you, Mum, his parents are going out for a meal, but David said they’ll be back by ten o’clock.’
Jessica nodded. She had met David a couple of times and he was a pleasant enough boy. At least Frankie had been honest with her about his parents going out for the evening, so maybe she’d learned her lesson.
‘How are you getting there?’ she asked the twins.
‘Cab. We’ve already ordered it. It’s double fare after six; that’s why we’re going out early,’ Frankie answered.
Hearing a toot outside, Jessica smiled at them. ‘Go on, off you go. Have a good time and no getting drunk.’
‘We won’t, Mum, I promise,’ Frankie said, nudging her brother.
‘And don’t forget to be back by eleven,’ Jessica shouted out.
As Frankie slammed the door, Joey smiled. ‘Do you think she believed us?’
Frankie giggled. ‘Course she did. Especially when I said that David’s parents weren’t gonna be at home. I saw the gleam in her eye at my honesty.’
Joey laughed. ‘You’re such a cow at times, Frankie.’ Frankie and Joey got into the minicab.
‘Where are you going?’ the driver asked.
Frankie laughed. It was Christmas, the season of goodwill and it was about time her brother knew that she was aware of his interesting little secret.
‘We’re gonna be ending up at the Angel pub in the village. But can you go to Cherry Tree Lane first?’ Joey said.
‘Are we picking someone up?’ the driver asked.
Frankie smiled. ‘Yes, my brother’s boyfriend.’
TWENTY
Astonished that his sister knew his secret, Joey urged her to shut the fuck up. He didn’t want the cab driver knowing his business; he couldn’t take that risk.
‘Change of plan, mate. Drop us at the Cherry Tree lights. We’ve gotta get some fags and stuff, we’ll walk from there,’ Joey told the driver.
‘So, you’re not going to the Angel now?’ the bewildered cabbie asked.
Joey shook his head. ‘Nah, we’re not, mate.’
‘That’ll be three-eighty,’ the cabbie said, giving Joey a strange look and the once-over.
Joey handed him a fiver and told him to keep the change. ‘I haven’t really got a boyfriend, mate. My sister has a lot of mental issues and tends to blurt out these things,’ he said, as he shoved Frankie out of the cab.
Seeing the driver’s bemused expression, Frankie couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Your face was a picture, Joey. I bet he goes back to his office and tells his colleagues he’s just picked up a shit-stabber and a nutcase.’
Joey didn’t share her warped sense of humour. He lit up two fags and handed her one. ‘How do you know?’ he asked bluntly.
Frankie took a long drag and blew the smoke in his face. ‘I’ve known for ages, you idiot. Don’t you remember that time around Simon’s house? You and David were upstairs going through his record collection and I sneaked up. I saw you leap apart from one another. It was obvious you’d been kissing!’
Joey didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He felt awkward that Frankie knew, but was also relieved that she did. ‘Does anybody else know? You won’t say anything to Mum and Dad, will you?’ he asked her.
Frankie threw him a sarcastic look. ‘Of course, I’m gonna tell ’em tomorrow. I’ll wait till we’re eating our Christmas dinner and hold a sausage on me fork while screaming out “Joey likes willies,” shall I?’
Joey laughed. He trusted Frankie and knew she wouldn’t dob him in it.
‘Have you, you know, done anything with him?’Frankie pried.
Joey smirked. ‘Well, sort of.’
Frankie was perplexed. ‘Like what?’
‘I’ll tell you all about it another time. Now come on, we’ll be late. I’ll race you to David’s house. Last one there’s a plonker.’
Jessica waited for Eddie to arrive home, and then brought out the buffet. ‘Mum, Dad, help yourselves,’ she urged.
Eddie pecked his little homemaker on the cheek. ‘What time did the kids go out?’
‘Just before six. They didn’t want to pay double fare. How was your day, love?’
Eddie smiled. Best he didn’t mention that he’d chopped someone’s thumb off. ‘It was good. I went to see me Auntie Joan, then popped in the Flag to have a drink with the rest of the family.’
‘Did you see your dad?’ Jessica asked.
‘Yeah. He looked tired, the old man. Said he’s had some agg with a few kids knocking on the door late at night. Reckons they’re potential burglars, knocking to see if there’s anyone at home. The silly little bastards obviously don’t know who me father is, do they? If they set one foot inside his property, me dad’ll fucking kill ’em,’ Eddie replied, laughing.
The buffet was beautifully presented and went down a treat.
‘That’s me done. Bleeding handsome, love,’ Joyce said, rubbing her stomach.
‘Can I get you anything else, Dad?’ Jessica asked, picking up her father’s empty plate.
‘I’m absolutely bloated. I could manage another Scotch though,’ Stanley said cheekily.
Joyce pursed her lips. ‘You’ve had four already, Stanley. Can’t you have a cup of tea instead?’
‘Whatever you say, dear,’ Stanley said calmly.
‘Do you want a cuppa as well, Mum?’ Jessica asked.
‘Oh, no! I’ll have a Baileys, love.’
Eddie and Jessica looked at one another and burst out laughing. Joyce couldn’t understand why they were laughing at her. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked annoyed.
Eddie handed his father-in-law a Scotch. ‘Thanks, Eddie,’ Stanley said gratefully.
Joyce took the glass of Baileys from Eddie and downed it in one. She scowled at Stanley. Her husband was one greedy bastard at times, he really was.
‘Bye, Mrs Hughton, bye, Mr Hughton. Have a lovely Christmas,’ Joey shouted to David’s parents as they left the house.
Frankie laughed at his politeness. ‘I’ll leave you and lover boy to it,’ she said, as she skipped on ahead.
David looked at Joey in amazement. ‘You ain’t told her, have you?’ he asked horrified.
Joey shook his head. ‘She knew. She’s known for ages, apparently. Do you remember that time we were round at Simon’s and we thought she’d caught us? Well, she did.’
David was much more macho than Joey and was desperate to keep his confusion over his sexuality a secret. ‘Well, that’s fucking great, Joey. She won’t say nothing, will she? I mean, I am captain of the football team. Can you imagine what the lads would say?’
‘She’s my twin – of course she ain’t gonna fucking say anything,’ Joey told him.
As Frankie strolled on ahead, the two lads walked in silence. David’s attitude annoyed Joey at times. Joey wasn’t ashamed of fancying boys, and if it wasn’t for his father finding out and probably burying him alive, he’d have shouted if from the rooftops. David was the opposite. He’d always claimed that he was straight. He was adamant that he was just experimenting and, one day, would marry and have children.
Joey had no intention of following in his so-called boyfriend’s footsteps. He’d known from a very early age that he only liked boys, and was 100% positive that he was gay. He’d been out with a couple of girls, but kissing them had turned his stomach over.
‘Sorry if I snapped at you. Are you OK, Joey?’ David asked him.
Joey nodded. ‘Let’s catch up with Frankie, eh?’
As Eddie left the room to make a few phone calls, Jessica switched on the television. Her mum and dad were both having forty winks and the house seemed so quiet all of a sudden. Flicking through the channels, Jessica spotted a programme where a mother was holding a newborn baby. ‘Aah,’ Jessica murmured as she realised that the baby looked just like Joey had when he was born.
Sighing, Jessica switched channels. The twins were all grown up now. They didn’t need her any more and she didn’t want to depress herself.
‘What’s up? You look sad,’ Eddie said, as he sat down next to her.
Forcing herself to stop being sentimental, Jessica smiled. ‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.’
Hours later, Joey grabbed his sister’s arm. ‘Frankie, hurry up, the cab’ll be waiting outside.’
Frankie was tipsy and in no rush to leave the pub. ‘Tell the cab to go away and come back after twelve. Mum and Dad’ll be all right; they’ll probably be pissed by now anyway.’
Joey shook his head. His sister could be such a pain in the arse sometimes. ‘Look, if we’re late, Mother’ll probably ground us again. You might be willing to take that chance, but I bloody well ain’t. Sod not being allowed out on New Year’s Eve. I wanna celebrate the start of 1988 in style.’
Seeing Joey getting annoyed, Frankie poked her tongue out at him. ‘OK, you win. I’m coming. Just let me say goodbye to the girls.’
‘Where’s David?’ Frankie asked, as she walked outside. ‘He’s staying for a bit. He ain’t gotta be home till after twelve,’ Joey said.
Frankie laughed. ‘No kisses for you tonight then, dear.’
‘Just shut up and get in the car, will you?’ Joey told her sternly.
As the front door slammed, Jessica nudged Eddie and smiled. ‘They’re bang on time. It’s one minute to eleven, bless ’em,’ she said.
Frankie bounded into the lounge. ‘As it’s Christmas, can me and Joey have a proper drink, Mum?’ she asked boldly.
Jessica looked at Eddie. ‘I don’t see why not,’ he said.
‘We’ll both have a vodka and Coke then,’ Frankie said, sitting in between her grandparents.
Joey sat down next to his mum. ‘How was your evening, love? Did you have a nice time with David?’ she asked.
Frankie laughed. ‘He always has a nice time with David, don’t you, Joey?’
Joey scowled at his sister and quickly changed the subject.
Tanked up on Baileys, Joyce was in a playful mood. ‘Why don’t we have a little game? Who fancies playing Give Us a Clue?’ she asked.
Eddie laughed. ‘You mean charades, Joyce?’
‘Whatever.’ Joyce laughed. ‘Never been the same, that programme, since Michael Aspel left and Parky took over.’
‘Who’s going first?’ Jessica enquired.
Joyce leaped up and waved her hands.
‘TV, two syllables,’ Joey said.
Crossing her legs, Joyce urged her family to guess the first syllable.
‘You look like you’re busting for a piss, the way you’re standing, Joycie,’ Eddie said, taking the mickey.
Joyce turned to Stanley.
‘Knees? Legs?’ he asked.
Unable to control her annoyance, Joyce let rip at him. ‘Didn’t you notice me crossing me legs? It’s Crossroads, you silly old bastard,’ she said, flopping down in the armchair.
Eddie stood up to take his turn.
‘Film, two words. The something,’ Jessica said.
‘The Godfather,’ Frankie shouted correctly.
‘Clever girl,’ Stanley said, impressed.
Frankie smiled. ‘That was easy, it’s Dad’s favourite film.’
‘Sounds about right,’ Stanley mumbled, as he nodded politely.
Already bored with Christmas, Joey stood up. ‘I’m really tired. I’m gonna go to bed, if that’s OK.’
Frankie nodded. ‘Me too,’ she said, finishing her drink.
‘Do you want waking up early to open your presents?’ Jessica asked them.
‘Leave it out, Mum. We asked for just money; we’re fifteen, not five,’ Frankie replied, laughing.
Seeing Eddie yawn, Jessica smiled. ‘Shall we finish this game tomorrow and go to bed now?’ she said.
Eddie nodded. ‘Are yous two staying up for a bit?’ he asked his in-laws.
Joyce stood up. ‘No, we’ve had enough as well. Come on, Stanley, leave that drink, you’ve had enough. Come on, chop-chop.’
Having little alternative, Stanley left the glass of Scotch and followed his wife up the stairs.
Jessica felt glum as she pulled the quilt over herself. She had been in a funny mood all night, and was struggling to snap out of it. Eddie got undressed and snuggled up next to her. Planting kisses on the back of her neck, he asked her what was wrong.
‘I’m fine, honest I am,’ Jessica insisted.
‘No, you’re not. We’ve been married for a long time, Jess, and I know when something’s wrong.’
Jessica turned to face him. ‘You’re gonna think I’m ever so silly if I tell you.’
Eddie leaned over her and moved her fringe out of her eyes. ‘Tell me, I promise I won’t think you’re silly.’
Jessica struggled for the right words. ‘It’s just that now the kids are older, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas any more. I’ve noticed it this year more than any other. They’ll soon be leaving school and it’s as though they don’t need me, Ed. I feel like I’ve been made redundant all of a sudden.’
Eddie saw a tear roll down her cheek and held her close. ‘Ssh, don’t cry, Jess,’ he whispered.
He didn’t really know what to say to her. He was glad the kids were nearly off their hands, but he tried to put himself in her shoes. From the time they were babies, Jess had been stuck indoors, nurturing them. He’d always been out working and, although he hated admitting it, he’d barely noticed them growing up. Eddie had always been an impulsive bastard and tonight was no exception. It broke his heart to see his wife look so sad. He loved her so much, he would literally do anything in his power to make her happy.
‘Let’s have another baby,’ he said to her.
Jessica turned over and looked at him with an incredulous expression. ‘What? We can’t – I’m thirty-three and you’re forty-six.’
Eddie laughed. ‘So? Me dick still works, don’t it?’
Jessica shook her head. ‘Oh, we can’t, Ed. What will me mum and dad say? And the twins would be horrified.’
Smiling, Eddie straddled her and refused to move until she agreed. ‘Fuck your parents and fuck the kids. This is all about me and you, Jess. It’s our future, no one else’s.’
‘Are you really serious or are you just winding me up?’ Jessica asked him.
‘I’m as serious as the day I asked you to marry me. Come on, Jess, let’s go for it, eh?’
Jessica thought over his suggestion. She’d thought her nappy-changing days were well and truly finished and she hadn’t expected this bombshell to be dropped on her. ‘We’ll have to talk about it properly, weigh up the pros and cons,’ she said.
Eddie smiled. Unlike him, Jess was sensible. ‘Go on, say yes, you know you want to. Just think about that pitter-patter of tiny feet.’
Jessica grinned. It would be lovely to have a focus and be needed once more.
Knowing how she hated being tickled, Eddie did exactly that. ‘Go on, let’s be devils. You know I’ve got super-sperm, don’t ya? Well, this time next year, we could have a cot in that corner and it could be our baby’s first Christmas.’
Laughing hysterically, tears ran down Jessica’s face as she begged him to stop tickling her.
‘Say yes and I’ll stop,’ Eddie told her.
‘Yes,’ Jessica yelled. ‘Yes, yes, yes!’
TWENTY-ONE
On Christmas morning, Jessica woke early with a big smile on her face. Desperate to check that her husband had meant what he’d said the previous evening, she gently prodded him until he opened his eyes.
‘What time is it?’ Eddie mumbled.
‘It’s half-past six. You did mean what you said last night, didn’t you? It wasn’t the drink talking, was it?’
Eddie smiled at her. ‘Of course I meant it. Why don’t we have a little practice now. No time like the present, eh?’
Jessica giggled as Eddie leaped on top of her. ‘Be quiet, Ed. I don’t want me mum
and dad to hear us.’
‘Well, in that case, I’ll make as much fucking noise as possible,’ Eddie told her laughing.
Unable to put up with Joyce’s snoring any longer, Stanley decided to get up and have a shower. At home, he and his wife slept in separate bedrooms. When they stayed at Jessica’s, they were forced to share, unfortunately.
Not wanting to wake Joyce up, Stanley decided to tiptoe towards the en-suite bathroom in the dark. Seconds later, he caught his leg on the chair and fell flat on his face.
Joyce woke with a fright and switched on the light. ‘What are you doing, you senile old goat?’ she screeched at him.
Stanley stood up. ‘And a happy Christmas to you too, dear,’ he said, slamming the bathroom door.
After making love to his wife, Eddie had a quick shower and went downstairs to make breakfast. Smoked salmon and scrambled eggs washed down with a glass of champagne was a Christmas-morning ritual. The festive season was the one time of the year when Eddie mucked in with the cooking to give his long-suffering wife a break.
‘Morning, Stanley. Do you fancy some smoked salmon and scrambled eggs?’ he asked.
Stanley pulled a face. ‘Makes me feel ill, that bleedin’ salmon. Ain’t got any bacon, have you?’
Eddie smiled as his father-in-law shuffled into the living room. Poor old Stanley had never been high up in the class stakes, bless him.
The twins ambled downstairs as the rest of the household were eating. ‘Where’s ours?’ Frankie said, annoyed that no one had called them.
Eddie chuckled. ‘Go and make something yourself, you lazy pair of sods.’
Jessica put on the Christmas CD and began to sort through the many presents under the tree.
‘Do we have to listen to this rubbish, Mum? Can’t we put on some house music or something?’ Frankie complained.
‘No, this is staying on,’ Jessica said, grinning at Eddie. Jess was so excited about their baby plans, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was the best Christmas present Eddie could have given her.
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