As he pulled away the shoulder of her gown he stopped. In the hallway he heard Louisa call out and he cursed under his breath.
Colleen took a deep breath, and cursed as well, and Mark looked at her in surprise.
“I’m allowed to get angry, too.” Colleen tugged at her gown, righting the shoulder and scowled.
“There’s a lock on the bedroom door, Mark Elgerson, and the minute we are married I intend to turn it. I’ll tolerate it until our wedding night, but not a second longer. Louisa will just have to wait until I am done with you.”
“I’m sorry, Colleen.” Mark opened the door and called into the hallway, “In a minute!”
Timothy had not seen the child leave the room and he bellowed up the stairs. “Louisa Elgerson, get down here.”
The child returned, thumping her feet on the stairs and looking dejected.
“I told you that you were not to bother Mark and Colleen while they were upstairs, didn’t I?” Timothy stood over the girl.
“Yes, sir,” she sighed heavily.
“So, why did you bother them?”
“Because they are always trying to go somewhere for kissing. I hate Colleen and I wish she had never come here.”
“Louisa!” Rebecca walked through the kitchen doorway into the foyer angrily. “That is a terrible thing to say!”
Louisa hung her head. “It’s the truth. Mark is going to marry her and she’ll never go away. Never.”
“That is not your decision to make, Loo.” Timothy took the child’s hand and led her into the parlor. Rebecca followed.
“Is that why you have decided that you don’t like Colleen, because you are jealous of her?”
“When Mark came home he didn’t even care about me, he only loves her now,” the child pouted.
“Louisa, you know that is not true,” Rebecca pointed out. “Mark has paid plenty of attention to you. He loves you and Colleen. Mark’s happiness is important right?”
“I liked it better when he was being in love with Bernadette. He didn’t have to be touching her and smiling like that all the time.”
Mark and Colleen stood in the doorway.
Louisa frowned. “I want to go to bed now.”
Timothy took the child’s hand. “I’m sorry,” he apologized to Mark and Colleen and climbed the stairs with the girl.
Rebecca sighed. “I’m sorry as well.”
“She’ll adjust.” Mark took Colleen’s hand to show off the ring. “What do you think?”
“Oh, it’s magnificent!” She smiled at Colleen.
“Thank you. I think so, too.” Colleen smiled proudly. “I’d like to talk to Louisa myself, please.”
Rebecca nodded and Colleen climbed the stairs.
Timothy left the room and Louisa sat on the bed, her arms folded.
“You and I are going to have this out.” Colleen put her hands on her hips and furrowed her brow. “You don’t have to like me. That is certainly your choice, Miss Louisa Elgerson. But I will not have you punishing Mark with your bad attitude. I love him too much to ever see him unhappy. I know that every time we are alone together you can’t stand that and we are going to talk about that right now.”
Louisa pouted.
“So tell me, child. Why don’t you like me?”
“You are being mean to me.”
“You think that because I am not talking to you all sweet and gentle I am being mean to you?” Colleen stood her ground.
Louisa sat quietly.
“What do you want to have happen, Louisa? Before you answer me, let me say, telling me to leave will not work. I love your brother more than anything in the world, anything, and I’ll not be leaving. That is not a choice.”
“More than anything?”
“Anything. Now tell me how we can stop this problem, because I am not leaving. So we had better find a way.”
Louisa looked up at Colleen angrily.
“I can wait.” Colleen sat down in a chair and folded her arms.
“You’re going to stay?”
“Yes, I’m staying. I’ll give you fair warning, Louisa Elgerson. I’m a very stubborn person and if I have to sit right here until my hair turns all gray and my skin wrinkles up like an old witch and I start to shrivel up like a rotten old apple, I will. Your room is going to smell simply terrible, but if that’s what I have to do to put an end to this, I will.”
Louisa struggled not to smile at the thought of Colleen rotting in her chair.
“You won’t,” the child dared.
“Will,” Colleen countered.
Chapter Sixty-Two
Mark shook his head as he left his sister’s room. Louisa was sound asleep, sitting up in the corner of her bed, her arms crossed on her chest. Colleen sat in a similar pose, though awake, in the chair.
“No, I will stay here as long as it takes,” Colleen had whispered. “When she wakes up I will be here, and I will stay here until this stops.”
When the sun streamed in through the lacy curtains in Louisa’s room it fell across Colleen’s face and she sat staring at the child.
Louisa smiled, in spite of herself.
“I’m going to get my mother,” Louisa announced.
“No, you will stay right here until we stop this. If I am going to sit here so are you.”
“Did you sit there all night?” Louisa sat on the edge of the bed.
“I did.”
“Didn’t you get tired?”
“Yes.” Colleen replied.
“Why did you do that? Why didn’t you go to bed?”
“Because this is important to me. I love Mark, you love Mark. I want him to be as happy as he can possibly be. If I have to live my whole life in this chair to solve the problem you have with me, I will do that because I love him that much.”
“I love him,” Louisa pouted.
“Do you?” Colleen leaned towards the girl. “If you love him so much then why would you hate me? Do you think that is making Mark happy?”
“No,” Louisa groaned.
“Well, I think we should do what we have to do to make him happy. That might just mean that you have to put up with having me around.”
Louisa looked around the room thoughtfully.
“Why did you have to go to the turret last night? Why couldn’t I come?”
“This is why,” Colleen put out her hand and the sunlight sparkled off the diamond. “Mark wanted to ask me to marry him and give me a ring and it was a special thing between him and me. No one else was there, not just you. It was only about us.”
“Are you going to have a wedding?”
“Not until you and I fix this.”
“And you won’t leave, no matter what?”
“No matter what,” Colleen assured her.
“I don’t want you to live in my chair.”
“Well? We could decide to be friends and we can both be done with this and you can help me get ready for a wedding.”
“Can I drop the petals for you to walk on?”
“Maybe,” Colleen rubbed her chin. “Phillip has been pretty nice to me though. I could get him to do it if you and I can’t be friends.”
“Phillip is a boy. They can’t be flower girls.”
“Why, not?”
“Because I want to.”
“So we can be friends?”
“I guess.” Louisa climbed from the bed and stood facing Colleen. “How do you make your hair go like that? Can I touch it?”
“Come here.” Colleen lifted the child onto her knee and Louisa twisted a curl onto her finger.
“I don’t make it curl, it just does.”
Colleen touched the child’s arm softly.
“Hmm,” she spoke softly. “I bet you and I could be really good friends. I would like that a lot.”
“Okay.” Louisa smiled up at the young woman. “Let’s go eat and tell Mark.”
“Let’s.” Colleen took the child’s hand and the two walked downstairs.
“Well, good morning!” R
ebecca looked up from her breakfast.
“Hello,” Mark smiled and looked at Colleen curiously. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” Louisa climbed into her chair and looked around the table. “Colleen and I are friends now so she doesn’t have to turn old and rotten in my bedroom. She’s very stubborn.”
“I am.” Colleen nodded in agreement.
Chapter Sixty-Three
As their wedding day approached, Mark became more amorous, and Colleen became more apprehensive. At every opportunity she would take a long bath and rub her skin with Rebecca’s concoctions, until it was as silky as satin. Colleen had been fitted for her gown and the parlor would be prepared for a small ceremony. When the couple found a moment alone, Colleen’s preparations did not go unnoticed by Mark.
“You taste delicious.” He buried his face in her neck and whispered hoarsely into her ear. When he pulled her close to him she could feel his excitement and she felt warm and starved for him. Colleen wanted to touch him as well. She ran her hands along the muscles in his arms as he fondled her hair. She wanted to feel more of him, his neck, his back, and things that she had not even named in her own mind. She struggled with her hunger and desire for him and the fact that in a few days they would be man and wife. Then she could feel free to explore every part of him, unrestrained and at liberty to know all of him. When she was in his arms she struggled to not simply surrender to every desire, but when she lay awake alone in her room at night she struggled instead with apprehension. She loved him completely, but would she satisfy his intense hunger? Would she be beautiful enough? Colleen did not like feeling less than completely confident about anything. She almost welcomed the interruptions and lack of privacy that they had at Stavewood. Each time they were together it was almost as if she were saved from surrendering herself. Colleen decided she might bring her feelings up to Rebecca. She had wished for a woman’s advice so many times in her life. Rebecca and Emma were always open to her thoughts and opinions. Perhaps a little womanly advice was just what she needed, Colleen thought.
In her forthright way she breached the subject one afternoon at tea.
“What is it like to make love to a man?”
Rebecca looked up in surprise and Emma nearly spit out her tea.
“What exactly do you want to know?” Rebecca swallowed hard.
“Well,” Colleen thought. “I guess I know some things. I know what a man looks like, all over. Living on a farm I know about, well, mating. But I want to know what to do, how not to disappoint.” Colleen furrowed her brow.
Rebecca had rarely seen the girl afraid of anything and admired her spirit, but it was clear that she was quite nervous about her wedding night. She had seen Mark growing up and been a witness to his early relationships. She suspected that the couple’s wedding night would be a new experience for both of them. Rebecca smiled with pleasure that the girl had come to her for such personal advice. She decided to be straightforward with the young bride-to-be.
“When I came to Stavewood,” Rebecca began. “I was a young widow. My wedding night with David did not go well. I had never been with a man, but he was very experienced. I could not surrender to my desires. I’m not sure I really had any then.”
“That would not be a problem on my part,” Colleen smiled, a bit embarrassed. “Mark told me he never had been with another and I surely find him quite attractive.”
“That will make all the difference,” Rebecca smiled. “When I finally admitted how much I was in love with Timothy I did not feel shy any longer. I had a terrible time staying away from him. I wanted him possibly more than he wanted me. He had been alone after his wife passed and he made it quite clear he did not like having an empty bed at night. I could not say no. Don’t you dare say a word to Mark about it, but I spent many mornings trying to get back to my own room before the household was up.” Rebecca leaned back in her chair and giggled, touching her fingertips to her lips and blushing.
“He knows,” Colleen laughed as well.
Rebecca colored deeply and Emma chuckled aloud.
“I was so curious.” Rebecca leaned close and lowered her voice. “I mean, he was so different, so exciting. He’d carry me off to bed and he was bold and unembarrassed about everything. I wanted to please him too, and it seemed the thing that pleased him most was my curiosity.”
Colleen imagined the tall Timothy Elgerson sweeping petite Rebecca off her feet and carrying her off to make love and she blushed.
“I have to agree that being a bit bold and curious make a big difference,” Emma interjected. “When I came here Roland had been injured in that mill accident. He had only recently gotten on his feet and the doctors told him he would never make love.”
Colleen tried to imagine active Roland Vancouver injured, and sighed.
“He suffered from so much stiffness in his leg and I wanted so badly to ease his pain. He finally talked about the injury a bit and I thought it was close to his knee. I went jumping right in offering to rub it out.”
Rebecca knew that Roland’s wound had been to his groin and she snickered.
Emma shot her a look and then rolled her eyes.
“That first day,” Emma continued, “when I put my hands on him was so wonderful. I have to say that there were parts of him that woke right up. It was just like a miracle.”
“Oh, Emma, you are incorrigible!” Rebecca gave her cousin a friendly shove.
Colleen had seen Roland Vancouver working the horses in the yard and was very aware of what a handsome man he was. She began to think of Mark beneath her touch and she flushed.
“You and Mark are very much in love, and you have a special opportunity,” Emma continued. “My first time was not so great either. Both you and Mark will be sharing something very special and personal. Enjoy it, Colleen. Allow yourself every pleasure you desire together. If you let yourself do that I promise you that your groom will not be disappointed.”
Colleen considered the woman’s advice and ventured forth with one last question. “So you touch them… there?”
Rebecca and Emma laughed aloud. “Any time I can get to it!” Rebecca admitted and the three women laughed unreservedly.
“What are you ladies talking about in here?” Timothy strolled into the kitchen in a leisurely manner and leaned in the doorway with his coffee.
“Tell him, Rebecca.” Emma prodded.
Timothy looked at the women’s faces expectantly.
“We were giving Colleen a little marital advice, dear.” Rebecca set down her teacup and smoothed her skirts.
“Well, you are talking to the experts,” Timothy nodded. “Whatever they tell you to do, you should, and frequently!”
The ladies could not contain themselves and Timothy Elgerson walked away, a confused look on his face.
“You heard the man!” Emma’s face lit up. “Frequently! That’s how you’ll make Mark a happy man!”
“I bet!” Colleen laughed aloud and decided she could hardly wait to try out the women’s advice.
Chapter Sixty-Four
With only two days until the wedding, all of Stavewood was bustling with activity. Mark could see that Colleen was becoming increasingly apprehensive and offered to take her out riding. The weather was perfect, crisp and clear, the promise of spring in the air. There were many places she had never seen surrounding the estate and the couple dressed warmly. Colleen followed Mark out to the stables where he saddled up Strawberry.
Mark turned to Colleen and put his hands around her waist to assist her onto the horse and she leaned to him and kissed him hungrily. Delighted by her advances he pulled her to him and covered her lips with his own.
Colleen pressed up against him boldly and he leaned back and looked into her eyes. “I was beginning to think I was making you nervous,” he whispered deeply.
“A bit,” she admitted. “But it is only because I want to be perfect.”
“Colleen,” he whispered, wanting to devour her right there in the yard. “You are perfect
to me. You are the most singularly beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on. If I had my way I would be making love to you every minute of every day. I have wanted no one else since I found you. There is nothing you could possibly do that would disappoint me.”
Colleen struggled with her outspoken personality. Her father had told her again and again that her temper and strong opinions would drive a man away, but Mark was different. She’d get her temper up and shout at him in disagreement and he’d face her and not be hurt. It was exactly what she had been told was wrong. She needed him to want her as she was and Colleen made the choice, at that moment, to do what she wanted. She slid her gloved hand down along his shoulder, along the curve of his backside, across the top of his thigh. She stopped at the place where she felt his firm desire for her and held her hand there boldly.
Mark gasped and nearly lost control. Her touch was so daring, so openly exciting that he could not stand it, but neither could he pull away. He looked into her eyes and she could see his unrestrained desire for her. She knew that he wanted her completely and Colleen loved the thrill she felt at the complete surrender she saw in his eyes. Suddenly she was not afraid of pleasing him. Colleen could see that if she did what she had imagined doing all along they could find complete pleasure in one another.
Colleen did not move her hand, even the slightest bit, but stood looking into his eyes openly and it was clear that Mark was nearly melting from her open touch.
“I swore that I would not take you in the barn that night in Missouri. I believe this stable would be just about perfect right now.” His voice was strained and husky and for a moment Colleen thought his legs might buckle beneath him.
“Should I stop?” Colleen moved her hand the slightest bit and pressed it against him a bit more firmly.
“Oh,” he groaned.
Colleen kissed his cheek slowly and put her lips to his ear. “I love you,” she whispered quietly and took her hand from him and mounted the horse in a single movement leaving Mark to spend several moments pacing the stables. She led the horse out into the yard and enjoyed the beautiful landscape of Stavewood while waiting for her fiancé to compose himself.
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