“Mustard and relish,” I said flatly. Anything else is sacrilegious.”
She shook her head. “I disagree.”
I was curious to hear what she had to say about my favorite comfort food. She didn’t know it, but she picked the wrong guy to fuck with about hotdogs. “What do you eat on them?”
“Sport peppers and chili.”
“Good answer.” It was the only answer she could have provided that I would have accepted as being remotely close to proper. “Ever eat ‘em with ketchup?”
She scrunched her nose. “I don’t even eat it on French fries.”
“No shit? What do you dip ‘em in?”
“Horseradish sauce and barbeque.”
“No shit. Makes eating ‘em at McDonald’s tough, huh?”
“Nope.” She reached for her purse, stuck her hand inside, and after a digging around, pulled out a fistful of horseradish packets. “I keep these in my purse.”
“You keep fucking horseradish sauce in your purse?”
She tossed the packets in her bag. “I get it at Arby’s. Every time I’m in there I get about fifty of them.”
I nodded toward her purse. “What else you got in there?”
She dumped it onto the table and grinned.
Surprised at her willingness to dump her life onto the table, I sifted through the pile. A wallet. iPod. A dozen packets of horseradish. A red bikini bottom. A flip-top box of gum. Fingernail clippers. Earbuds. A pair of sunglasses. Three pens. Hand sanitizer. Lip gloss. A phone. A fingernail file. Car keys complete with pepper spray. Lipstick. Three different colors of fingernail polish. A folding pocketknife. A red bikini top. Three sleeves of takeout chopsticks. Numerous gum wrappers.
“Quite an assortment.”
She shrugged. “I just cleaned it.”
“Didn’t bother putting the bikini or the chopsticks up?”
She reached for the chopsticks and shook her head. “I always have chopsticks.”
“Why?”
“In case I need to eat something, and there aren’t any.”
I was fascinated. “Do you eat everything with them?”
“Anything I can pick up. Not hamburgers or hotdogs, but a lot of other things.”
I found her response, and her affinity for the wooden sticks, cute.
“What about the bikini?”
“In case I want to lay in the sun.”
“You just hop into it, huh?”
“Uh huh.”
“Change in your car?”
“Wherever. The beach. My car. Whatever.”
I nodded toward her keys. “What are you going to do with that can of Mace?”
“Spray someone.”
“Like who?”
She reached for it as if offended. “Whoever nabs me.”
“Are they after you?” I asked, stone-faced. “The men in the black helicopters?”
“Don’t be a dick. I’m a girl. Men try to snatch us all the time. If someone tries, I’m going to spray them. Or, cut them with that knife.”
“That’ll just piss ‘em off. I’ll show you how to use a gun. Put a bullet in their chest and they’ll let go every time.”
“I don’t have a gun.”
“You will.”
“I don’t know if I could--”
“I’ll teach you how to use one.”
She put the car keys in her purse, and then sighed. “I run everywhere at night. I’m always scared someone’s going to get me. I run from store to my car. I run in and out of the gas station. I run in and out of the club. Everywhere.”
“How often do you go to the club?”
“Oh, I work at one.”
I took a sip of the lukewarm coffee. “I thought you were a waitress at the fish place? With Lex?”
“I am. But I work at the Main Attraction, too.”
I choked on my coffee. “The strip club?”
“Uh huh.”
I shook my head. “Not anymore, you don’t.”
She cocked her head to the side and stared. “Excuse me?”
“I want you to quit.”
“And when did you start telling me what to do?”
“If we’re going to try and make this work, we’ve got to have some ground rules. You working at a strip club isn’t good for the baby, for you, or for me.”
“I need the money.”
“I’ve got plenty of money.”
She shook her head. “I need it to pay my rent. Sometimes the restaurant, especially in the off season--”
I turned my palm to face her. “Just stop. That’s another thing we were going to talk about. I need to talk to Eddie, but I was thinking. Maybe in like two weeks. How about you move in?”
She stared at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. “Huh?’
“Move in,” I said. “Being pregnant ain’t easy, especially if you’re alone. Doctor’s appointments, being sick, and once you get to six or seven months--”
“Move in? You and me? Together?”
I nodded. “What else did you think we were going to do? Share custody or something stupid? You get the kid one week, me the next?”
“I didn’t--”
“Look,” I said. “In case I didn’t make myself clear before, I want to try and make this work. You and me. Relationship. Learn to live with each other. Have a baby. Raise it together. Have a family.”
She squinted and then stared. “But we don’t love each other.”
“Maybe we will in time.”
She appeared to accept my response. After a moment’s thought, she raised her index finger. “First rule. No other women. Ever. Not one. No excuses. If you ever cheat, me and the baby are gone.”
I shrugged. “No problem, I don’t cheat. My first rule. Quit the strip club.”
“Okay.”
I made a fist and held it over the center of the table.
She looked at it, and then at me. She clenched her hand into a fist, and pounded it into mine.
On that day, in the coffee shop, we made a pact.
An agreement.
I found it exciting in many respects.
Well, all except for one.
Telling Eddie.
Chapter One Hundred Thirty
Sandy
I knocked on the doorframe, and waited out of sight of the open door.
He cleared his throat. “Who is it?”
“Sandy,” I said. “Texxxas.”
“Come in.”
I stepped through the door and looked around. Mr. Rosetti’s office didn’t look like it belonged inside a strip club. Unlike the rest of the club, it was well lit, brightly painted, and decorated with modern office furniture.
Mr. Rosetti was nice, and not at all a weirdo or a pervert like everyone who didn’t know him assumed. He was a businessman, and looked at the club as a business, and at the women who worked there as his employees.
He pointed to one of the three open chairs. “Have a seat.”
It was my day off, but I doubted he realized it. Dressed in my street clothes, and feeling kind of out of place, I glanced at the chair, and then at him, and sat down.
He peered over the top of his glasses. “Is everything alright?”
I hugged my purse. “Oh, yeah. Just fine, thank you.”
He removed his glasses, and set them aside. “Are you sure?”
He was the best boss one could ever ask for, and was the most understanding man ever. He even remembered each of the girl’s birthdays, and passed out cards with $100 in them to celebrate. I felt terrible giving him the news, and struggled with just what to say.
“I uhhm. I need to. I have to quit.”
He went bug-eyed. “Quit? What? Where are you going?”
“Nowhere. Just going home.”
“Don’t quit. You don’t want to do that. It’s never a good idea.”
“I need to, really. I just wanted to let you know. You’ve been good to me, and I don’t want to leave on bad terms.”
“You can’t go any
where and make this kind of money, Sandy. Take a few days off, and think about it. I’m sure you’ll come to your senses. You sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?”
I clutched my purse and rocked back and forth in the seat. “No. Not really. And, no, I don’t need to think about it. I just need to go ahead and quit.”
“I’ll give you 70% of the cut from the drinks, and 100% from your take on private dances. How’s that?”
It made me wish I would have threatened to quit two years prior. At those rates, I’d easily make another $100-150 nightly.
“I really can’t.”
“What’s wrong? Did Joe Marcelli approach you? From San Diego? Are you going to San Diego?”
I shook my head. “I’m pregnant.”
He inhaled a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled. “You’ve got a while before you’ll need to quit. Just stick around until you’re uncomfortable, and then--”
“I’m sorry, I can’t. The father has asked that I quit.”
He nodded toward the door. “Not one of my employees?”
“Oh. No. He’s someone else.”
He stood, and then clasped his hands together. “Give me two weeks. How about that? Two weeks? It’ll let me find someone to replace you in the headlines. It’s not easy getting someone that’ll draw the crowds you do.”
Two weeks would let me stick a few thousand dollars away, and I was sure it’d be that long before I moved in with Smokey anyway, if not longer.
“I’ll agree to it if you keep those rates you were talking about. 100% of my dances, and 70% of drinks.”
“I can do that.”
I stood. “Okay. I’ll stay two weeks.”
“Thank you. And, before you go, be sure and come say goodbye. I’ll miss you, Sandy. I really will.”
“I’ll miss you too, Mr. Rosetti.”
I smiled and turned toward the door.
Two more weeks.
What could that hurt?
Chapter One Hundred Thirty-One
Smokey
I rolled up beside the three other bikes, came to a stop, and then whacked the throttle twice. Standing on the far side of the shop, Crip cupped his hands to his ears and shot me a glare. I shut off the motor and grinned.
As I was hanging my helmet on the handlebars, he shouted across the shop. “God damn it with you and that loud ass bike. Shut it down at the street and roll in here from now on with that loud cocksucker off. I’ve only asked you what? A thousand times?”
“I’ll try and remember,” I yelled, turning to face him as I spoke. “Got a lot on my mind.”
He shook his head and turned toward Pee Bee.
“The Nut will be here in a minute.” I took a few steps in their direction. “Wanting to talk to the four of you.”
Cholo, Pee Bee, and Crip were all gathered around the refrigerator. I’d sent each of them a text message to see if they were at the shop, and after finding that they were, asked P-Nut to come in as well.
I wanted to tell them about the changes I was going to go through before they heard it from someone else. It seemed anytime information came from anywhere other than the source, it was inaccurate at best.
Bikers with Ol’ Ladies were looked at differently than bikers who were single. Often, when a man like me ended up in a relationship, he was looked down upon and considered a sellout. If the four men I was speaking to accepted my situation, everyone else would do the same. Convincing them I was doing what was right should be easy, as three of them had Ol’ Ladies.
“So, what the fuck’s going on?” Crip asked. “Having problems with the prospect?”
I pulled my vape from my pocket and checked the battery life. “Nope. In fact, he’s coming along smartly.”
“Why the meeting?” he asked.
I took a long hit off the vape. “Is that what this is?”
He glanced at Pee Bee and Cholo, and then looked at me. “Looks like it.”
I blew the cloud of smoke toward Crip. “Makes you nervous when someone other than you calls a few of the fellas together, huh?”
“God damn it, Smokey. What’d I tell you about that fucking thing? Blow that shit somewhere else.”
“My bad, Crip. Shit, I can’t remember a God damned thing. Think the exhaust fumes are getting to me. Either that or the adhesive from all the tile work.”
He glared. “I mean it.”
I extended my fist toward Peeb. After he pounded it, I did the same with Cholo. Then, I made eye contact with Crip and gave him a half-hearted nod.
He shook his head and turned away.
Aggravating him was part of what made being around him so much fun. Most of the fellas knew I was full of shit, and simply accepted me as being me. Crip took everything personal, and genuinely let me get under his skin. The fact that I could irritate him enough to get him off his game drove me to do so even more.
After two minutes of silence, Crip turned to face me. “What’s this about?”
“Got some news to give ya.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Well, give it.”
I took another hit off my vape, and held the smoke in. “Waiting on the Nut.”
He shook his head. “Perfect. That’s all I need is the two of you together.”
“We’re all brothers, Brother,” I said, my tone sarcastic.
P-Nut was a veteran with the Fuckers, and was a lot like me. He was a man of principle, had a good set of moral values, and didn’t take shit from anyone, especially Crip. He didn’t hang with Pee Bee or Cholo, and not because they didn’t like him. It was more a result of his desire to survive on a day-to-day basis without being scrutinized by anyone.
He would do anything for the club, for his brothers, or for a good cause, as long as he was the one to make the decision.
And, it was that lone wolf attitude that kept him and Crip at odds.
The sound of a motorcycle’s approaching exhaust caused me to tense. I wasn’t necessarily nervous about talking to them, but I wasn’t completely comfortable either. After spending nearly two decades screwing every woman who held still long enough for me to poke my cock in them, settling down and having a baby with someone would certainly raise eyebrows, and I knew it.
P-Nut came screaming through the parking lot at twice the speed that was safe and shot past the shop. Beyond the opening of the overhead door, but still well within our view, he locked up his rear brake and slid into a smoky 180 degree turn.
With his front tire now facing the garage door and the motorcycle still well into a power-slide, he hit the throttle and launched the bike into the shop.
Blazing across the floor – and directly toward us – at full speed, his little display of power didn’t bother me. Crip, on the other hand, was screaming at the top of his lungs.
P-Nut’s bike came to a screeching stop right beside mine.
He revved the throttle once, and shut off the engine. After tossing his helmet onto the floor, he looked up and grinned. “That was interesting.”
“God damn it, P-Nut,” Crip hollered. “That was un-fucking-necessary.”
P-Nut pulled a pack of cigarettes from his front pocket, lit one, and then looked at Crip through one eye while the other was pinched shut. “Which part?”
“All of it,” Crip snarled.
In the middle of taking a drag off his cigarette, P-Nut paused, and then blew the smoke to the side.
“Can’t agree with you on that, Crip.” He waved his hand toward the wide-open garage door. “Fast as I was going, I had to shoot past the door, or I’d have wrecked. Then, if I didn’t do that little U-turn, I’d have hit the far side of the fucking fence. And, the coming in the shop part? Shit, you know I ride hard. Nope. I’m thinking pretty much all of it was necessary.”
He took long strides across the shop floor. Upon reaching us, he pounded my fist, and then gave Pee Bee and Cholo a nod. “What’s up fellas?”
“You need to slow that piece of shit down,” Crip said. “If you’d have been
going the fucking speed limit, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we?”
P-Nut flicked his ash on the floor, rubbed it with the toe of his boot, and then looked up. “Changin’ the name of the club to the Clean Clan or are we keeping the Filthy Fuckers patch on our colors?”
Crip glared.
P-Nut shrugged. “Just wondering. I mean, if we’re all going to abide by the speed limits and everything. Want me to turn in my pistol, too? I could start carrying a bible and a box of Snickers bars instead of a pistol and a pack of cigarettes.”
Crip clenched his jaw. “Slow the fuck down in the parking lot.”
P-Nut took a long drag off his cigarette, blew the smoke in Crip’s direction, and then began to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Got all the decision makers in the same place. Hope nobody drops a bomb, this club would be brainless.”
The Nut never stood still for longer than a few seconds, and to those that didn’t know him, he seemed sketchy and nervous. His given name was Percy, and considering the fact he acted nuts most of the time, he earned the name P-Nut.
“Shouldn’t take long,” I said “I’ve just got something I need to bring to light.”
“Make it quick,” Crip said with a laugh. “He’s making me nervous.”
Although every member of the club was my brother, I didn’t look at them all the same. I’d put my life on the line for any of them, or I wouldn’t have taken the oath to become a Filthy Fucker. Being close friends with each of them, however, was impossible.
The four men in front of me were ones that mattered to me the most.
“I’ve got something to say, and I’d appreciate it if you keep your shitty remarks to yourselves.”
Cholo, Pee Bee, and Crip were all leaning against the workbench, while P-Nut nervously paced the floor between them and the far wall.
“You all know that I’ve got a daughter, and that I’m protective of her. I’ve got--”
P-Nut stopped pacing and shot me a look of concern. “Nobody fucked with Eddie, did they? God damn it, I’ll kill a motherfucker--”
“Settle down, Nut. No. Eddie’s fine. Hear me out.”
He lit another cigarette, and went right back to pacing the floor.
“In the last month, I’ve been seeing a girl.” I figured saying I’d been seeing her would sound a lot better than saying we’d fucked twice. I scanned the men for reactions, and other than Nut’s pacing, everyone seemed pretty calm, so I continued. “And I liked spending time with her, but I knew it’d never amount to much with my rule about relationships and all.”
Filthy F*ckers: The Complete Series Box Set Page 65