I pushed the ivy aside and peered into the cave, searching for any animals that might have used the cave in my absence. Brandon stepped forward and walked into the cave. He turned around and whispered, “It’s empty.”
I pushed the ivy to the side, to allow the light to come into the cave and then walked in. I walked to the side of the cave which had a little alcove hidden from the entrance and tossed aside the tarp I had placed over my items. I grabbed the lantern and flipped the switch, watching as the light flickered a moment and then turned on. I sat it in the center of the cave and then walked to the walls to see how my drawings had fared so far.
“What is this place?” Brandon asked.
“This is my hideout. Not even Mark knows about this place.”
“And you’re showing it to me?” he asked softly as he looked at the drawings on the walls.
“I wanted to come here and Dad volunteered you,” I admitted.
“So you didn’t want me to see it?”
I sat down and leaned against one of the walls, closing my eyes. “I don’t care either way. I would just appreciate it if you didn’t use it and didn’t tell anyone about it. The last thing I need is the pride using this for a mating place.”
“I promise I won’t tell,” he said as he sat down in front of me.
I could feel him watching me and so I asked, “Why are you staring at me?”
“I’m trying to figure out what you’re feeling.”
“Sadness. Irritation. Loneliness. Frustration.”
“Can I help?” he asked as he moved closer to me.
“No,” I whispered, “None of you can.”
“How do you know if you want give us a chance?” he asked as he stroked my cheek.
I jerked sideways away from his hand and moved towards the back of the cave. “Don’t touch me like that.”
He followed me, his eyes glowing softly in the dark. “Why not? You like it.”
Jerk. “It feels good and bad at the same time and the bad lasts longer than the good so I would prefer if you kept your hands to yourself.”
“You don’t mean that. I can hear the lie in your voice,” he said as he closed the distance between us.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked breathlessly as he pinned me against the wall.
“Maybe you’re not the only one who’s confused. Maybe I’m just as confused as you are.”
“Confused about what?” I asked as he stroked my cheek again.
“You,” he whispered before kissing me.
I wanted to push him away and yet I wanted to melt into his arms at the same time. He slipped a hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him as he kissed me. Whatever decision I had been about to make was tossed right out the cave when he touched me like that. I stepped into the shelter of his arms and he slipped his tongue into my mouth.
He tasted better than anything I had ever experienced. His scent and taste were intoxicating and I knew I was addicted. I knew I was addicted and that I would have to go cold turkey to try to get him out of my system when he finally stopped being confused and realized he couldn’t be with me.
He pulled back from the kiss, but kept his hand on my neck. “I’ve wanted to do that for the past two months.”
I couldn’t talk. If I talked I might break the spell or dream or whatever this was. He stroked his thumb across my cheek and bent down to kiss my lips again when Paul called my name from the forest.
I didn’t want to go to him. I didn’t want to leave the cave, fearing the real world that waited for me outside.
Brandon asked, “Are you going to answer him or let him follow our scent trail here?”
I didn’t want Paul to find the cave, but I didn’t want to leave.
“Vicky!” Paul yelled as he got closer.
Brandon’s mouth formed his cocky smirk and he kissed my lips again, licking my lower lip before stepping back and tugging on my hand. “Come on. We don’t want him to find your place.”
I followed him as he turned out the light, realigned the ivy so that it covered the cave’s mouth and then jogged down to where Paul was circling a tree I had run my hand along. “There you are,” he said with a smile.
Brandon released my hand and stepped away from me. “What’s up?”
“Alpha has called a meeting for all pride members.”
“We’d better go then,” Brandon said as he started back towards the house. I walked in silence behind him, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened in the cave. He had admitted that he had wanted to kiss me and that he was confused, but did that change anything?
Paul put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me against his side as we walked. “You’re awfully quiet. What’s up?”
“Just thinking about something.”
“Thinking is bad,” Paul said. “It’s better just to accept it as it is and go from there.”
“Sometimes things aren’t that simple,” I said. “Sometimes it’s all confusing and no matter how much you want to believe that one thing will come out of it, you know in your heart that it won’t and you’re just going to be sad. I think it’s better to assume the worst so that if something good happens, it’s great compared to what you thought was going to happen.”
“Is that really how you look at life?” Paul asked.
“Yes.”
He sighed. “That is some serious negativity little sister. You should really start thinking happy thoughts.”
“If I had some pixie dust, I just might.”
He laughed and squeezed my shoulders. “Everything will be alright. You know I’m always here for you.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder and nodded my head. “I know.” Even when I was a toddler Paul had always been there when I needed him. We had played for endless hours and most days took our naps together. Paul, Sheila, Michael and I had been an inseparable group. Then Michael had moved away with his parents and that had left me with Paul and Sheila. Thinking of Michael made me ache inside, missing his positive outlook on life and his wit.
We made it back to the house and the entire pride stood in a rough circle around the bonfire with Dad, Sarah and Mark in the center. Brandon stood with the pride and Paul walked to find Sheila. Sarah waved me forward and I walked to her, leaning against her as she wrapped an arm around me.
“You all know about the Minters attacks,” Dad said. The pride growled and snarled. “Their goal was to kidnap Victoria and use her as a pawn to start a war with our pride. They wanted to string up her body for us to find. I refuse to let them take her! If they want a war, well them invading our territory to try to steal a member of our pride is enough for me to go to war with them!”
The pride exploded in cheers, growls, roars and yelling. Dad raised his hand and they quieted. “Victoria’s mother has died and as such she is now going to be living with us. I expect you all to help her adjust and protect her at all costs.”
Reminding the pride that they had to protect me was like a slap in my face. I didn’t pay attention to anything else he said. I stood in my own solitary confinement surrounded by bodies. People began dispersing and I sat numbly by the fire, staring into it as my world unraveled.
“Are you okay?” Mark asked from beside me.
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You know the pride will protect you, right?”
Of course I knew that. “Yeah.”
“Victoria,” Dad said, “Why don’t we go inside and get something to eat?”
I followed him in and sat down at the kitchen table. How could so many things go wrong in such a short time? Had someone put a curse on me to tear apart everything that I had worked so hard to attain?
Dad made me grilled cheese and tomato soup, one of my favorites. I tried to smile at him, but it ended as more of a grimace. I nibbled on my food as I thought about my current situation. I needed to stop acting depressed, that was obvious.
“This is great,” I said cheerfully to my Dad. “Thank you.”
He watched me a moment and then sat down across from me. “Your mom’s funeral is tomorrow. Your grandma called a little bit ago and told me.”
“Okay,” I said as I took another bite of the grilled cheese.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.
I shrugged. “I miss her, but I’ve been missing her for the past ten years.” I wasn’t about to tell him about the tie to humanity part. He wouldn’t understand anyways.
“Same here,” he whispered as his eyes grew misty. He shook his head and laughed. “We’ll head out after breakfast, okay?”
I drained the last of my soup and nodded my head. “Okay. I’m going to shower and go to sleep.” I walked to him and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Dad.”
He hugged me tightly. “I love you too.”
Sarah and Mark were whispering in the living room and stopped as I walked by, but I didn’t bother to pry or ask what they were talking about. I climbed into the shower and stood under the hot water, reveling in the warmth.
I washed and then walked to my room and fell onto my bed. I should have been trying to figure out what to do about Brandon, but at the moment all I could do was think about mom. I hadn’t even gone in her room to look for a memento of her when we had been there. Was I an awful daughter? Had I pushed her away just as much as she had pushed me? Maybe she was right, maybe I was too lion for her. School would be starting in a couple months and I worried if I wouldn’t be able to fit in.
Where was Michael? Why hadn’t he returned to visit the pride? Or had he while I was gone? I made a mental note to ask Dad when I woke up and then fell asleep.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I ate my breakfast slowly, enjoying the blueberry pancakes that Sarah had made for me. The house was quiet in what I supposed was their way of being respectful, but to me it was just creepy. I was rinsing my plate off in the sink when Brandon came in. I set the plate in the sink and turned to face him.
Without a word he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. “Hey.”
I relaxed in his now familiar embrace. “Hello.”
He pulled back and looked at my face. “You doing alright?”
I nodded my head and stepped back from him. “Yep.” I walked to my room and slipped on the high heels that went with my black dress Sarah had chosen for me to wear to the funeral. “What’s up?” I asked, knowing he wanted to ask me something.
He waited until I turned around and asked, “Would you like me to go with you to the funeral?”
After blinking a few times stupidly at him I said, “It might be better to ask my Dad. He might want it to be just the two of us.” Honestly I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Was it worth the heartache if I got close to Brandon only for him to realize he couldn’t keep me as a mate?
He nodded his head and walked over to me, drowning me in his musky scent again. “I’m sorry that I’ve added to your problems right now. If I knew what to do, I would.”
I looked up at his face and asked, “What do you want?” That was the real question that needed to be answered.
His lips lifted in that famous smirk and he said, “Right now I want to kiss you, but that would ruin your pretty lipstick.”
“I meant in general.”
He shook his head. “Not now. We’ll talk later, when you’re ready.” He hugged me again and then kissed my hair. “I’ll go find your Dad.”
I watched him walk away and sighed. There were too many questions that needed to be answered when it came to him right now.
“You okay?” Sarah asked from the doorway.
I shook my head. “No, but eventually it’ll all get figured out. Or the Minters pack will kill me and it’ll be done anyways.”
She growled. “Victoria Anne, do not say things like that.”
I smiled. “Sorry.” I remembered my thoughts last night and asked, “Does Michael ever visit the pride?”
She nodded her head and smiled knowingly. “He does visit sometimes. And every time he asks about you.”
That made my smile brighten. “He does?”
She nodded her head again. “Yep. He should be visiting now that school’s out. I’m sure you’ll get to see him very soon.”
“Victoria?” Dad called from the other side of the house. “Time to go.”
“Coming,” I answered him as I straightened my dress and walked out to the front door where he was standing.
He smiled. “You look beautiful.”
I looked at his black button up shirt, slacks and clean shaven face and smiled wide. “You look great too, Dad.”
He took my arm as we walked out to the SUV and I wasn’t surprised to find Brandon waiting there. Dad walked to his side and Brandon whispered, “He asked me to stay behind this time. I’ll be here when you get back though, okay?”
I hugged him and smiled. “Thanks.” He was being a good friend, if nothing else.
Dad drove with the radio on my favorite station, which was probably killing his ears, as a mood lifter for me. I appreciated it and sang along at the top of my lungs to every song. When we pulled into the cemetery he turned the radio off and wiggled his finger in his ears. “I really need to invest in some singing classes for you.”
I shoved his arm playfully and then sighed when I saw the crowd gathered at the funeral. “Are you going to be okay?”
He smiled. “Isn’t that my line?”
I frowned at him. “You know what I mean. Is your lion side going to try to come out?”
He shrugged. “I doubt it, but I have a friend who’ll be attending who can give me support if need be.”
“A friend? You mean someone from the pride?” I asked in shock.
He nodded his head. “Yes. Come on, let’s put on our stoic faces and go say hello to your grandparents.”
“No snapping your teeth at them,” I warned.
He scoffed. “That was one time and your grandfather deserved it.”
I laughed and then sobered as I neared the crowd and recognized the faces of mom’s coworkers and friends. Sandy rushed over to me and enveloped me in a hug. “Hi, girl.”
I hugged her and fought to keep from crying. What was it about best friends that allowed them to release all of your emotions in one touch? “Hey.”
Devon hugged me after Sandy released me. “You look good,” he whispered.
I smiled and turned to find my mother’s parents waiting for me. “Hi, Grandpa. Hi, Grandma,” I said as I walked towards them.
They nodded their heads at me and then turned to my Dad who was standing nearby. “We’d like to talk to you after the funeral,” Grandpa said without moving to hug me.
I stopped approaching them and moved towards my Dad instead. They had never been overly affectionate, but they had never shunned me either. Had they only been playing nice for my mother’s sake?
“That’s fine. We need to stop by the house so that Victoria can pick up a few last items anyways,” Dad answered, giving my grandfather the evil eye. Grandpa nodded his head and turned away, taking my grandma by her arm and leading her away from us. Dad put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Don’t let them get to you. They’ve been rude for as long as I can remember.”
“They’ve never been rude to me before,” I whispered. I didn’t have any more time to think about it though because all of mom’s friends and coworkers came up and expressed their condolences. Part of me grew frustrated at mom’s female friends flirting with Dad so I walked to mom’s grave and sat in one of the front chairs facing it. A small rectangular box sat at the unmarked headstone with her initials engraved into it. I didn’t want to think about the fact that my mom’s ashes were now in that box so I instead focused on the wreath and the beautiful flowers on it.
“It’s time to begin,” the pastor said loudly.
I stood up and walked to the back away from the chairs to stand beside Dad, in case he had an episode and we needed to leave quickly. We couldn’t risk him turning into a lion in front of people who had no idea what
he was.
“Today we celebrate the life of…” began the pastor.
I ignored his words. I ignored the glare my grandparents gave us as they made their way to the front seats where the family of the deceased sits. We hadn’t been a family in a long time and I would rather stand by my father anyways. I remembered my mother and father when I was in elementary school and had been a family. Mom always had a huge smile back then and a warm hug for me.
I had had a wonderful, happy childhood until she had discovered that I was a hybrid. When she understood that I would never be fully human or lion, she couldn’t stand it. She divorced Dad and took me to her parent’s. I remember her crying each and every night and flinching whenever I tried to hug her.
Tears filled my eyes and then a sob escaped my lips before I could clamp them shut. I had caused problems for my parents most of my life. How could Dad not hate me for causing their separation? I never doubted that mom viewed me as an abomination, but did my Dad?
Dad sniffed softly as he cried. I looked down at the ground to avoid looking at his face. He should at least get privacy from me.
When I was in junior high and I had started getting in fights with boys all the time mom had started drinking. Was that how the car accident happened? Had she been drinking because of the stress of having Brandon and me in her house and seeing how well I got along with him? Or was it just another reminder that she had created me?
Tears flowed freely down my face and I sniffed, trying to keep from dripping snot. I knew I should have brought tissues, but I had forgotten. I wrapped my arms around myself as I tried to stop the pain that I felt deep inside of me. Had I caused my mother’s death?
Warm arms wrapped around me and I turned around, expecting to find Dad and instead finding an averagely tall guy with hair the color of a raven’s wing, eyes like chocolate and a slight hint of stubble along his jaw line that made the already masculine jaw even sexier. “Michael?” I asked quietly in shock. I would know his scent anywhere, just like Sheila’s and Paul’s.
He nodded his head and pulled me tighter against him. I clung to my old friend and cried in a mixture of happiness of seeing him and of sadness for what I had caused by my birth. Michael stroked my hair and arms, touching as much of me as was possible and appropriate at the same time. Dad had stopped sniffing, which meant that Michael’s presence had soothed him and helped him calm down enough to maintain his human body. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered in my ear, “We’ll talk more later when there’s no one else around. Okay?”
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