I tilted my head back and screamed as loudly as I could, letting my anger and despair out. Why was I so useless?!
“Victoria!” Brandon yelled from nearby.
Bob growled. “I’ll be back for you. I’ll come for you soon.”
“Don’t,” I whispered, “Don’t come back. If you do, I will kill you.”
He smiled. “In time you will understand.”
“Victoria!” Dad yelled from behind me.
I dropped to the ground next to Michael’s lifeless body as Bob ran away. Tears streamed down my face and I heard myself moaning, but I didn’t care. My best friend was dead. After finally getting him back, he was taken from me by my own inability to protect myself.
Brandon rushed out of the trees towards me, but stopped when he saw Michael. “No,” he whispered. He ran to me and tilted my face, looking over my body as I held Michael’s lifeless hand in mine, already cool to the touch. How much time had passed since he last held my hand? “Are you hurt?” Brandon asked as he continued his examination.
What kind of question was that? Of course I was! How could I not be hurt when Michael was dead? I saw more pride arrive out of the corners of my eyes, but I didn’t turn to acknowledge them. He had loved me and because of that love he was dead now. Brandon tried to wrap his arms around me and I jumped away from him. I looked at the sad faces of the pride around me and then watched as Sarah dropped to the ground with a loud sob and picked up Michael’s lifeless hand, the one I had just dropped. She cried as she held her only brother’s hand in hers. This was my fault. I had caused his death.
“What happened?” Mark asked me.
I whimpered and started backing away from them. “I’m sorry.”
Dad squatted next to Michael’s body. “He was shot? Victoria, who shot him? Was it that kid from the Minters pack?”
“He just wanted me. I tried to let Bob take me, but Michael wouldn’t let me go. He lunged before I could stop him.” I sobbed once and then continued, “I wasn’t fast enough to stop Bob from shooting him. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I backed farther away from them.
Brandon walked towards me. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered, “It’s Bob’s.”
I looked at Sarah’s distraught face and knew mine mirrored hers. “I’m sorry,” I whispered to her before turning and running.
“Victoria!” Brandon yelled. I ran past the pride and into the forest, following the path I knew blindly. Tears streamed down my face, blinding me and making me trip over tree roots. I increased my speed and ran through the ivy and into the back of my cave. I curled up on my side and cried, my despair shaking my body with sobs. If I had been just a little faster I could have saved him. If I had been a little stronger I could have stopped him from lunging. If I hadn’t had such a finicky heart none of this would have happened. If I hadn’t been here he would still be alive.
“Victoria!” voices yelled from out in the forest.
I ignored the voices and clenched my eyes shut, trying to rid them of the image of Bob killing Michael. Why was I so detrimental to the pride? I needed to leave. I needed to leave the pride before I caused anything else.
The ivy rustled and Brandon whispered, “I know you’re in here. I can smell you.”
“Go away,” I whispered, “Before I get you killed too.”
Warm hands found my body and lifted me from the cold cave floor to a warm lap and chest. “Tori, don’t say that. This was not your fault.”
“He died because he loved me,” I whispered, “If you try to court me, you will die too. I can’t watch you die too.”
“He died protecting you, doing what he was supposed to do.”
I pulled away from him and backed against the wall of the cave as I let anger take over my sorrow. “I bet you’re happy now, aren’t you? Now you don’t have to wait a month to find out who I will pick. Now that he is out of the way I only have you to choose from.” I couldn’t see him in the darkness of the cave, but I didn’t need to. I just needed to be away from him.
“What are you talking about? I don’t even know what you mean about waiting a month. And you know me better than that. I am mourning his loss like every other pride member. I may not have liked that he was trying to mate with you, but that didn’t mean that I wanted him to die.”
“You were going to kill him yourself!” I yelled.
“I wouldn’t have killed him. I swear to you that I would not have let it get that far. I never would have hurt you like that.”
“Victoria!” yelled Mark out in the forest.
I whimpered and slid down the wall of the cave, wrapping my arms around my knees and hugging them to my chest as my heart pounded with agony. “I’m sorry.”
His hands slid down my arms and around my back. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Come back. Let’s go back.”
New tears streamed down my face and I started sobbing again. “I can’t. I can’t see their faces knowing this is my fault. If I had just been a little faster I could have stopped it. If I had just let him take me before. If…”
“Tori,” he whispered with sadness and empathy in his voice.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in the crook of his neck as I cried. He held me, murmured soft words I couldn’t understand into my ear and pet me. “Don’t leave me,” I whispered.
He squeezed me tighter and whispered, “I won’t. I promise.”
Tears flowed down my face and the agony of Michael’s loss spread throughout my chest and the rest of my body until everything hurt and the only way to avoid seeing Michael’s death was to fall asleep.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to face the day. I could not face the first day without Michael. Warm hands stroked my hair and Brandon whispered, “It’s alright. I’m still here.”
Michael was not though. Michael would never be here again. Brandon spooned his body around mine on the dark cave floor and whispered, “Go back to sleep, it’s still early. I promise I’ll still be here when you wake up again.”
I slept a few more hours and then sat up, rubbing my aching head. The ivy was still hanging over the door, but the lantern was on so there was some light. Brandon handed me a plate of scrambled eggs and toast and smiled. “I didn’t leave. Paul followed your scent trail here and brought this for you.”
I set the plate down and pushed it back towards him. “Not hungry,” I whispered as I wrapped my arms around my knees.
“I know it’s hard to lose someone, it’s even harder to lose them when you think it’s your fault,” he said softly, “But it gets better. If you just focus on the good times you had.”
“What do you know about it?” I asked bitterly.
“Why do you think I was adopted into this pride?” He sighed and whispered, “I guess it’s time I told you my story.” He sat down and pushed the plate back towards me. “When I was a kid I lived a peaceful life with my mother and two sisters. We didn’t have a pride like you have, we just had each other. Everything was fine until I was ten years old and a male werelion came and attacked my family. I tried to protect them, but the lion killed them all, except me. He took me to his pride. I tried to run away, but he was stronger than me and kept me tied up until I was fifteen. Then he let me go out exploring the forest so I could become a better hunter. One day while I was exploring the far reaches of our forest I came across an unfamiliar werelion. He asked me who I was and why I was depressed. I explained my situation and without hesitation the man stole me from the pride and brought me here.”
He looked into my eyes. “Your Dad was that man. I wasn’t able to protect my family or even myself. It wasn’t until your Dad saved me that I understood.”
Lots of things made sense now. He was worried about hurting me because he had watched the first male lion he had met slaughter his family. His first view of a werelion male was that of a monster instead of the sweet side that I had always experienced in my father and Mark.
&nbs
p; “It doesn’t feel like it will get better. It just hurts,” I whispered.
“It will hurt for a while, but you have me and your Dad and the rest of the pride to help you through it. We are all dealing with his loss, I know not as deeply as you are, but death is something that is experienced by all. If you let us, we can help you.”
I didn’t want to believe him, but the pain was too much to bear alone. “I can’t lose you too,” I whispered.
He smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.” He crawled towards me and pushed my hair out of my face. “Come to the house with me. Please.”
I leaned into his hand and sniffed. “Okay, but if someone starts yelling at me, will you let me leave?”
“I will carry you myself if I need to,” he whispered, “Come on, Tori. It’s going to be okay. Things will get better.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and sniffed. “Things won’t be better until Bob’s dead.”
“I know.”
“Promise me something?” I asked softly.
“Anything.”
“Promise me that you won’t go looking for Bob.”
He sighed loudly and was silent for a few minutes, but he finally said, “Okay, I promise.”
We separated and I headed towards the entrance of the cave with Brandon right beside me. I pushed the ivy to the side and stepped out, to be greeted by the entire pride sitting on the ground. “What’s going on?”
Dad stood up and hugged me tightly. “This is not your fault. We love you and we know how painful this is for you. We promise to get vengeance for him.”
“No, please. I don’t want anyone else dying because of me,” I whispered.
“It’s not just because of you anymore,” Sarah said. “It’s about Michael as well.” I turned and faced her, prepared to receive her wrath, but she simply wrapped her arms around me in a hug. “I miss him too. We will get through this together, I promise.”
Her kindness opened the floodgate of tears again and I clung to her as I cried. The pride surrounded us so we could all have a group hug. The pride crowded together and we mourned the loss of Michael. Paul pushed his way through the crowd and wrapped me up in his arms. I clung to him as we both cried over our friend. My body hurt so badly that I didn’t think Brandon could be right, that it would hurt less with time. I felt as though a piece had been severed from me. We stayed together for an hour or so and then everyone dispersed to deal with the grief as they needed to. Paul and Sheila returned to their house to hug their cubs and I went to the house, burying my face into my pillow and crying at every spot in the house that brought back a memory of him. How could I live in the place I had spent most of my days with him and not feel this incredible grief? Dad sat on my bed and pet my head, trying to console me, but his kindness only intensified my sadness. Dad left and Mark replaced him and then Brandon came to replace Mark. It did not matter who was with me, the grief was unbearable and after a while the tears stopped and I could only stare out my window numbly.
The funeral was brief, but very emotional. Michael and Sarah’s parents came, but spoke to no one and left without a word. We buried Michael in our graveyard and I sat beside his grave marker alone hours after everyone had left. My tears were dried up and I had already passed the numb stage. Now I felt only anger and sadness. The next time I saw Bob I would kill him. He would not hurt anyone else I loved even if it meant giving up my own life.
“Tori,” Brandon whispered, “You need to come to the house and eat.”
I stood up slowly and nodded my head. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew that I had to eat to keep my strength up.
He walked beside me and I was extremely thankful that he was not pushing the courting at the moment. I could not deal with it so soon after Michael’s death. Luckily he seemed to understand. I sat down at the kitchen table while Brandon made me food. I had made Brandon promise not to seek out Bob, but that did not mean that I couldn’t. If I could trap him and tie him up somehow then I could get the information I wanted from him and then dispose of him.
“Eat before it gets cold,” Dad said from across the table.
I jumped in surprise, not having heard him come in or sit down. “Yes, sir,” I whispered as I ate the bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich that Brandon had made. It was delicious and I gave Brandon a small smile to show my appreciation. He smiled happily and sat down beside me to eat the sandwich he had made for himself.
If I somehow got Bob to meet me somewhere how would I go about getting him tied up? I was fast, but he was stronger than me.
“If you are thinking about trying to run off on your own, you can forget it. I have already set up patrols around you and Brandon is already guarding you since he’s courting you. You will have no time to escape without one of us stopping you,” Dad said.
“I was not thinking anything of the sort,” I mumbled around a bite of my sandwich.
“Oh, really? Because it looked to me like you were debating the best way to tie someone up,” Dad said smugly.
I set my sandwich down and looked at him. “And how would you know that?”
He smiled. “You get the same look every time you think about hurting someone.”
That was news to me. “Whatever,” I said as I finished my sandwich. I walked to the living room and turned on the television.
Brandon sat down next to me and whispered, “Were you really planning on leaving me behind to go after Bob?”
I didn’t say anything. What could I say to him?
“Do I need to start sleeping outside underneath your window?” he asked.
I looked at him in shock and then saw his teasing smile. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He hugged me. “Don’t apologize for something you haven’t done yet.”
* * *
A month and a half passed without any sign of Bob or the rest of the Minters pack. I tried not to let myself fall into the trap of feeling secure, but with my birthday having passed uneventfully and Brandon by my side, I couldn’t help feeling a little more secure.
“What do you want to do today?” Brandon asked. “We only have a few days left of summer before school starts.”
“Don’t remind me,” I muttered against his chest where my head lay. His hand moved from my shoulder down my side and rested on my hip. He had been becoming increasingly aggressive with his pursuit, but I still was not ready.
“We are going school shopping,” Sarah said as she walked into the living room where we were. “Get up and let’s go.” She looked at Brandon. “Alpha wants to speak to you.”
Brandon kissed the top of my head and walked down the hall to my father’s study. “You two take Mark and go on. Brandon and I are going to be awhile,” Dad said from inside.
Brandon sighed, but continued walking, shutting the door silently behind him. Sarah smiled at me and linked arms. “Ready?”
“Yes I am,” Mark said. He looked from me to Sarah. “She will not be buying any of that skimpy clothing girls her age like.”
“Dad!” I complained.
“Mark, let Sarah make the decisions,” Dad said from his study.
Sarah stuck her tongue out at Mark and turned around. “Let’s go.”
Mark draped his arm across my shoulders and we followed Sarah out to Mark’s truck. He squished me over to the middle and we started the hour journey to the mall, which was closest to us.
“How’s it going, Victoria?” Mark asked after about thirty minutes of driving.
I shrugged. “Okay.”
“Okay?” he asked.
I exhaled. “This wasn’t just a shopping trip, was it?”
Sarah smiled. “We needed to separate you and Brandon so we could talk to you individually.”
“Okay, then ask what you really want to know or tell me what it is you want to say. Don’t beat around the bush.”
“You know that it’s okay to move on, right? Michael would want you to,” Sarah said softly. “He would want you to be happy.”
“I am happy,” I
mumbled, not liking where this was heading.
“You were supposed to choose your mate on your birthday, but you didn’t. Why not?” Mark asked. That was Mark, straight to the point, no fluff.
“Because I don’t know if Brandon truly wants to be my mate or if now he just feels obligated. I know he said he wanted me before Michael…died, but he may have changed his mind and just feels too bad about telling me.”
“You really think he doesn’t want you?” Sarah asked. “Have you noticed how much that boy touches you?”
“Touching is key in lion prides,” I responded automatically.
“I don’t touch Sarah the way he touches you,” Mark said.
Sarah glared at him. “Shut up and drive.” She smiled at me. “The point is, Brandon’s an Alpha and you leaving him out to dry is not helping his control or moods and soon he will be going to school with you and humans and he needs complete control for that.”
“So you are telling me to mate with Brandon?” I asked in shock.
Mark growled. “No, we are telling you to make a choice. You don’t have to actually mate with him until you are at least eighteen, but as long as the choice is made and you declare it than he should be fine.” I already knew that, but I was not going to tell him that.
“I do not like being rushed,” I said angrily. Plus I did not know if he could handle it if Bob did catch me and killed me. The death of a mate is a very difficult thing for a lion to endure. Contrary to animals in the wild, werelions had one mate and that was their only mate until they died.
“Your Dad said you could have until the end of the month to decide.”
“It’s already the twentieth!” I yelled.
Mark shrugged. “That gives you eight days at your new school to see how he acts and to make your final decision. Like I said, you do not have to mate with him yet, just announce your decision to the pride.”
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