This was bigger than the MPD, bigger than Black Wings versus White Wings. And yet the White Wings had put Dawn into lockdown, setting up powerful wards to keep anything and everything out. As far as we were aware, the Sanguinata hadn’t been affected, but then they were holed up in a mansion surrounded by a moat, away from it all. Aside from The Breed leader, Max, Drayton, and Merlin, the Lupin was the first higher-tier neph to be taken. If I was right, and only the most powerful shades could take top-tier nephs as hosts, the Lupin sightings today meant more powerful shades were coming out to play. God, it all made my head hurt.
Stumbling out of the bathroom, I padded over to my bed and climbed wearily onto the mattress. The door opened softly, and someone entered, but I was damned if I was gonna lift my head or turn around to look.
The bed dipped and then heat brushed against my arm. I breathed in, cinnamon and spice, and smiled. “Snuggles?”
Ryker pulled me into his arms. “You fucking bet.”
I sighed as his chest pressed against my back, as his thighs brushed the back of mine.
I chuckled. “You should just move in. How many nights is that this week?”
“I don’t hear you complaining.”
I relaxed into his embrace. “That’s because I’m not. I mean it. You should just move in.”
He kissed the top of my head and inhaled. “It wouldn’t be fair.”
“Fair? On who?”
His sigh tickled the back of my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
Realization dawned … he was referring to the others, to Orin and Rivers and Bane. It wouldn’t be fair to them if Ryker took up residence in my room.
“You could have died today,” he said softly. “Asher could have killed you.”
“I know.” I laced my fingers through his and closed my eyes.
“One moment you were by my side and then the next you were gone. I couldn’t find you. I searched and searched and you were gone.” His voice cracked.
I squeezed his hand. “I’m okay. Everything is okay.”
He tucked in his chin, rubbing his face against the back of my neck, and then his lips found my nape in a soft kiss. My stomach flipped hard, and I was suddenly wide awake, mouth dry and heart beating just a little bit too fast.
He’d never touched me like this before, kissed me like this … This felt intimate in a new way to what we were about. Out of everyone here, I was closest to Ryker, most intimate with him in thought and emotion. With Ryker, I opened up and truly let my guard down. He was my friend … I should pull away and put distance between us. As if sensing my thoughts, he tensed and then relaxed his hold, giving me an out.
Letting go would be a signal for him to leave, and that was the last thing I wanted. I squeezed his hand instead. “Sleep with me tonight?”
He exhaled slow and even, and then his body relaxed against mine, and he pulled me close. “Snuggles?”
“Hell, yeah.”
***
Sharing a bed with Ryker always gave me the best night’s sleep, so it was with a bounce in my step, several hours later, that I entered the kitchen to find Marika and Ava huddled over mugs of coffee. They yawned in unison and then both burst into exhausted laughter.
“You guys need to sleep.” I snagged a mug and emptied the remains of the coffee pot into it.
“I have been sleeping,” Ava said. “Loads. It just doesn’t seem to be enough.”
“Me too,” Marika said with another yawn. She laid her head on the table. “I could sleep right now.”
“Tell that to the luggage under your eyes, ladies.” I popped the biscuit tin on the table. “Eat something sugary. It’ll give you a boost.”
“Do we have chocolate?” Ava dived in.
Marika perked up. “Did someone say chocolate?”
I grinned. “Not in that tin but …” I walked over to the cupboard where the stash of fancy chocolate biscuits were hidden. The ones Bane and I loved. “I’m gonna share these once.” I opened a packet and set it on the table. “Just this once, okay?”
Ava was already munching and Marika joined in a moment later, sighing with pleasure.
I picked one up and dunked it in my coffee. “Good, huh?”
“Sooo good,” Ava said around a mouthful.
The chair scraped on the ground as I pulled it out. “You guys ready for the meeting later?”
“I think we should be asking you that question,” Marika said.
My tummy fluttered. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
All eyes would be on me once Bane revealed what I could do. The pressure would be magnified tenfold, and I’d be held accountable. I’d had a choice—let Ryker be killed or let more monsters into our world. I’d saved my friend, and not everyone would applaud me for that, especially now that I was failing at fixing what I’d broken.
Boot falls echoed down the stairs leading to the kitchen and Orin’s huge frame entered. His brows flicked up at the sight of us, and then he smiled and it was as if the sun had come out to play. Damn. Where had that corny thought come from?
“Ladies,” he said in the smooth, sexy drawl of his. One he probably didn’t even know he had. “Is this a private meeting or can anyone join in?”
Ava kicked out a chair. “Take a pew, Handsome.”
He grinned, and the tips of his ears grew pink. Aw, man, could he get any sweeter? It was rare these days that I saw him without Cassie close behind, so it was nice to have him all to myself … I mean, to share him with Ava and Marika. The feminine click of boots cut off my thoughts, and Cassie appeared in the doorway. She took in the scene—Orin surrounded by females—and her expression darkened, but then she caught my eye, and she plastered a smile on her face.
“Coffee meeting?” she said brightly.
“Totally impromptu,” Ava said before shoving another biscuit in her mouth.
Cassie slid into the seat beside Orin and slipped her arm through his. I tore my gaze away and fixed it on my mug. They were together. She was allowed to touch him. I wasn’t.
“Are you okay?” Orin said.
Ava nudged me. Oh, he was talking to me. I glanced up and nodded. “Yeah, fine.”
He swallowed. “Good. I was worried about you after everything that happened at the clifftop house.” His gaze darkened. “You could have been killed.”
“But she wasn’t,” Cassie pointed out. Her fingers flexed on his arm. “She’s fine.” Her smile, like her voice, was too bright.
What had happened to the confident, kick-ass woman I’d met when I’d arrived? This post-shade woman was clingy and insecure, and could I really blame her? She probably sensed the pull between Orin and me, because it was still there, despite him having made the decision to be with Cassie. That attraction and the need to be in each other’s orbit hadn’t evaporated. It was why I’d avoided him as much as possible without being obvious about it—avoided them.
“I’m fine.” My smile was reassuring. “I slept really well when I finally got into bed.”
“With Ryker,” Orin said.
I blinked at him. “Um, yeah. Ryker kept me company.”
Ava turned in her seat with a filthy smirk. “I didn’t know you and Ryker were a thing. He is hawt.”
My neck heated. “We’re not. It’s not like that with us. He just held me while I slept.” Okay, it sounded weird when said out loud, but fuck it, I didn’t need to explain my relationships to anyone.
“How did you know she was with Ryker?” Cassie asked Orin.
He blinked and looked down at her, as if noticing her presence for the first time. “What?”
“How did you know Ryker was in bed with her?”
“I went to check on Serenity last night. She was already asleep with Ryker.”
Cassie slid her hand off Orin’s bicep, and he frowned in confusion. Marika and Ava exchanged glances then ducked their heads. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from Orin’s perplexed face. He’d come to check up on me in the middle of the night. He’d come to my bedroom witho
ut telling his girlfriend. And he didn’t see what was wrong with that? Oh man, sweet Orin, with a pure heart and no clue. And now Cassie was looking at him as if he’d just told her he’d strangled her pet dog.
Orin cocked his head. “Cassie?”
“Wow,” she said. “You really don’t see what you did wrong, do you?”
His brow furrowed. “I went to check on a friend. What’s wrong with that?” There was a definite bite to his tone now.
“You went to another woman’s bedroom in the middle of the night without telling me,” she said slowly, as if explaining something to a child.
I had to give Orin props—he kept his cool. “Another woman? It’s Serenity, not some random female.”
But that was the whole point for Cassie. If Orin were my boyfriend I’d be pissed too, but this wasn’t a discussion that should be open viewing. They needed their privacy, and if they weren’t going to take it elsewhere then I’d make myself scarce.
I drained my coffee and pushed back my chair. “I’ll see you guys in a couple of hours.”
I headed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The scrape of more seats followed as Ava and Marika had the same idea, but I didn’t wait for them to catch up. I needed to be on my own, and there was only one place where I knew I wouldn’t be disturbed.
The roost.
***
Half an hour in the chilly air and my pulse had returned to normal. It didn’t mean anything that Orin had come to check up on me, not to him. He’d come as a friend, but then there’d been that flash of jealousy in his eyes when he’d mentioned finding me with Ryker. That query in his tone. No. I was imagining things. He loved Cassie and cared for me, and that was it. I needed to move on and forget we’d ever been close. We’d agreed to be friends and not avoid each other, but over the past few weeks being in his company and having to hold back from touching him had been torture. I wouldn’t have thought twice about it before Cassie came back, but now, with her watching me like a hawk, knowing that I felt more than friendship for him, every tactile moment felt wrong. And now, with him having admitted he’d come to my room late at night, she’d be watching me even more closely. Urgh. I was greedy, that’s what I was. No matter how moral or good I wanted to be, there was the dark kernel of covetousness that unfurled inside me when it came to the guys. They weren’t mine, and yet it felt as if they were.
No, we are cambion, my daimon reminded me gently. Do not shy away from what we are and what we need. Do not explain away our emotions, for we feel more than others.
Leaving the roost, I headed down the stone steps to the main house. The thud of boots echoed up toward me and then Orin appeared on the steps below.
“Serenity.” He hovered, looking suddenly uncertain.
Had he been about to come to the roost? Shit. No one but Bane and I went there. He must be desperate to see me. Ignoring the stab of hope, I composed my features. “What’s up?”
“I wanted to apologize for earlier.”
I shrugged. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
He sighed. “Yes, there is. Cassie made you feel uncomfortable. Heck, she made me feel bad for a second. But I refuse to apologize for caring.”
It wouldn’t be right to pretend that Cassie was in the wrong. “She had a point, Orin. You’re her boyfriend. You made a commitment to her, and coming to my room that late at night … it just sends the wrong message. I’d be pissed too if I were Cassie.”
He took another step toward me. “I came to check on you because you almost died, and I was worried. I’d do it again if need be, and if you need someone to hold you at night and Ryker can’t be there, then I’d fill in, in a heartbeat.”
My pulse skipped, and I swallowed hard. “Orin, you can’t do that.” Dammit, where was the certainty in my tone. “You can’t say that. Cassie is your girlfriend.” The final words were delivered with more conviction.
His expression hardened. “And I’ve told her that if she wants us to work, she needs to accept how important you are to me.”
My stomach flipped. “What? Why? I mean, how?” Dumb question, but my mouth was on autopilot.
He smiled softly. “It was easy, I just opened my mouth and the words fell out.”
What was he doing? “I don’t want to come between you two. If you want your relationship with Cassie to work, then you can’t put me first.”
His brow furrowed and his fists clenched. “I can’t fight my instincts on this.”
My throat was suddenly dry as sand. He ducked his head. Yeah, cue awkward moment, but that was something I could defuse.
I punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Friendship can be like that. I’m glad ours is safe, but you need to work harder on things with Cassie if you want it to work out.”
He met my eyes, his expression sober, and reached up to cup my cheek with his warm hand. “Nothing will ever come in the way of our friendship. You’ve been there for me every time I’ve needed a shoulder to cry on. You’ve stood up for me when I’ve been unable to do so for myself. I know things are confusing right now. I know you have Bane and Rivers and you’ve gotten close. I know how much you care for Ryker and how much you mean to him, but I want you to know, I’m here for you too. Always. Cassie is just gonna have to deal with that.”
He just wasn’t listening to me. He wasn’t even listening to himself. If he felt this way, then why stay with her? Was it guilt at not figuring out that Cassie was infected? Did he blame himself for leaving her in the shade’s clutches? Did he believe that he owed it to her to be with her? It wasn’t my place to point any of this out. He needed to figure it out for himself; besides, his words were doing strange things to my tear ducts.
“Is this our cue to hug?” I arched a brow, trying to mask the churning emotions inside me.
He held out his arms. “You know it.”
I leaned into his embrace and allowed him to wrap me in his sea breeze aroma. Man, there was nothing like an Orin hug. The guy was a master.
We broke apart a moment later. “Come on. Let’s go find Bane and get the details on the meeting.”
“Already did that,” Orin said.
“And?”
“We’re meeting everyone at The Deep.”
My brows shot up. “Dorian agreed to come to The Deep?”
Orin nodded.
“Dorian, as in, I’m-the-greatest, suck-on-my-cock, Dorian? Dorian who thinks he’s Sanguinata royalty, Dorian?”
Orin chuckled. “And you call me a poet.”
I linked arms with him and tugged him down the steps. “Now this I have to see.”
Chapter 4
The Deep had been locked down for our meeting. Signs had been erected stating that the place had been hired for a private party. Not really a party, but it would keep out everyone who didn’t need to be in the know. We’d agreed that the Black Wings should stay out of it on this occasion; there was way too much animosity toward them, and their presence would just rile the nephs up.
Orin and Rivers manned the doors, and I huddled in the foyer, out of the cold, sipping a hot chocolate that Jonah had whipped up for me. My stomach was a knot of nerves, and my hands were ice blocks. What if things got ugly? It was a possibility, of course. No one liked being kept in the dark. Our intentions had been noble, but still … Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea to keep quiet about the shades.
“Too late to worry about that now,” Bane said, coming up behind me.
His huge hands closed over my shoulders, channeling his warmth into my blood. My body instinctively leaned into him, wanting to revel in the heat of his abdomen against my back, but we still had some issues to clarify, so I pulled away and turned to face him.
He exhaled sharply through his nose. “I was worried about you. I lost it. But I would never have hurt you. I didn’t hurt you … did I?” His face twisted into an expression that was part fear, part pain.
Damn him for getting in there quick with an apology. And sincere too. But still. We needed some ground rules.
“No. You didn’t hurt me. But it wasn’t pleasant. I get that you were worried. But I won’t allow you to manhandle me like that. It can’t happen again.”
He closed his eyes and breathed deep and even. “It won’t. You have my word.”
I smiled sweetly and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Good. And from now on, if you want to play boss, you can do it in the bedroom. Otherwise, we’re on equal terms.”
“What? No.” He was looking at me as if I’d told him I could fart the alphabet.
Heck yes. “I’m the one with the power to kill the shades. I’m the one with the power to expel them, and I’m the one putting myself on the front line, so I get an equal say. You do not get to order me. We discuss and we decide, together. Got it?”
His chest rumbled in a suppressed growl and the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention. I was prodding the beast, but it had to be done. There was no backing down. Not from this.
He looked over my head, his expression flat. “You act with your heart, not with your head.”
“I will not kill innocents just to save time.”
“Every moment you spend searching an infected host for a soul is a moment that the shade can break free and kill you.”
He was right, but … “I will not kill innocents to save time.”
“Damn you, woman.”
Wait for it …
“You will work fast, and you will have one of us by your side at all times.”
And that was the ticket. “Deal.” I grinned up at him.
He leaned down so his lips brushed the delicate shell of my ear. “And later tonight I will be playing a very bossy boss.”
Shades of Midnight: an Urban Fantasy novel (Chronicles of Midnight Book 4) Page 3