He slowly placed his hands on Al’bah’s shoulders; her skin was freezing cold, adding to his guilt. Her eyes opened slowly as he gently roused her, but she didn’t say anything. She just continued to look into Cain’s brown eyes with her own violet-blue.
“Al’bah…I’m sorry. This is still all so new to me. But I want you to know that I—” Cain stopped, feeling disgusted by how inadequate, how empty his words were. He sighed deeply, closed his eyes, and thought for a moment. He had no idea what he was going to say. His emotions were taken for quite the ride the past few hours. But at the very least, he could tell her some truths that he did feel.
“Al’bah, I will never forget the first time I heard your voice. You were screaming in pain, and I couldn’t help but want to help you. So I…” Cain shook his head, almost unable to believe the truth; he was frustrated of his difficulty to express how he felt. “So, yes. I do care for you. I do feel like I want you with me.”
Al’bah’s face remained expressionless, but her eyes lit up slightly. “Your eyes and voice carry no deception. But it was so, when you said you did not know if you wanted me, if you cared for me.”
Cain nodded. “I don’t know. Maybe it has more to do with not wanting to admit I was wrong…about a lot of things I thought were true. All I can say, Al’bah, is it hurts to hear you cry. It’s worse when it is my fault by action, inaction, or by words. I don’t want you to cry, I don’t want to ever hurt you, and I did. I’m sorry.”
Al’bah’s face went from an expressionless mask to a bashful grin. Her wings unfurled from her body, and she reached out and pulled Cain to her. “Cain, I need you, not your apologies. When you are near, I am whole. When you desire my touch, I am warm. You are my Bond,” Al’bah said softly, her breath caressing his ear. She pulled back slightly to stare into his face. “I can accept that my namesake was by accident, and our union a mistake. I can because you care for me, you want me. But could you—would you—still call me your Al’bah, with a heart full of peace and truth?”
Cain stared at Al’bah for a moment; he was reminded of what Purity had told him.
“Remember that, Cain. Choice.”
“You are Al’bah,” he said with a slight grin. “I couldn’t imagine calling you anything else.”
Al’bah closed her eyes and let out a relieved sigh. “Such miracles,” she breathed.
“Al’bah, I was curious about something. If I could have freed you without us being Bonded together, would you still want to be here, with me?”
“Yes, I would,” Al’bah said without hesitation, her voice confident yet light.
“Why?”
“How does one explain a feeling? Or describe a soul? Regardless of the circumstances of our beginnings, there exists between our souls a paired chorus. And if we could have met on this realm naturally, this chorus would have brought us together; you and I would be like the moon and the sun.”
“The moon and sun? You mentioned that before. What does that mean?”
Al’bah ran her hands through Cain’s hair. “It is an ancient love adage that my people had. Would you like to hear it?”
“Sure.”
Al’bah sat up happily and her wings stretched and fluttered for a few moments, causing her hair and scent to swirl about. “Let the sun shine, let the moon sing. Let love be the song of our hearts’ bliss. Moon and sun, we are one; our hearts sing this. Our hearts are one, or our hearts are none; we wait for the mercy that was promised.”
“I’m gonna make a guess and say that some of the beauty of that is lost in translation.”
Al’bah smiled and nodded. “You would be correct in your guess. There is so much that I—” Al’bah’s brow furrowed. “Cain, what is wrong? I feel something dark within you.”
Cain had been thinking about his dream. “I had a dream,” Cain said with a small shudder. “It was about Taint and—”
Al’bah gasped and flinched violently. “Cain, please! I do not wish to hear.”
“But there was something else that—Al’bah, you have to hear this!” Cain tried to speak of Purity, but Al’bah had grabbed her hair and pulled it savagely, wailing much like she had done before when they first met.
“Do not touch my wings!” she screamed over and over again at some horror that her eyes were transfixed upon. With a sickening ripping noise, Al’bah had actually pulled her hair out and was about to dig her hands back into her beautiful locks if Cain had not grabbed her.
Al’bah pulled, thrashed, and screamed as Cain quickly grasped her body and pinned her arms between their chests to prevent her from hurting herself. “Foul abomination! Do not touch my wings!” Al’bah wailed as she buffeted Cain harshly with her wings.
“Al’bah! Stop! It’s okay! I’m here! Please, stop!” Cain said, amazed at how strong she was in her flailing.
After a long time of gasping and crying, Al’bah calmed down at last. She trembled as Cain now held her in his arms like a small child. “Cain? Oh, I am so sorry.” Al’bah hiccupped; her eyes were closed and pouring tears. “Please, Cain, I beg you, do not mention…oh. Please, do not mention.” She rubbed her eyes, and Cain could see that her sclera was an alarming pink. “At least, not for some time.”
“Okay,” Cain breathed. He ran his hands through Al’bah’s hair, noticing it was damp with blood from the tufts she had pulled out. “Oh God, Al’bah, you’re bleeding.” He quickly went to the bathroom cabinet and got a wet washcloth, antiseptic, and his brush.
“Here,” Cain said as he patted her hair. “This might sting a little.” He noticed Al’bah’s face. Oh, how desperate her face was; the way she carried her eyes and lips had the feel of a small child. A child whose hopes and dreams teetered on a promise made in desperation. A promise that could somehow be broken or realized at the same time as one traveled the path of life.
Al’bah wiped her eyes and lowered her face and sobbed softly. “Shai-bel-lai-tu-ren-yu-yah.”
Cain stopped as Al’bah’s words floated across the air. His eyes were drawn to her wet gaze. He noticed smears of blood that must have come from her wiping her eyes, and they were now mingling with her tears.
“I’m sorry, Al’bah, but I don’t know what you mean when you speak like that.” Oh, how Cain wished he could know the things she said, as she knew them. Though she had overwhelmed him before with her spoken words, Cain could tell these were directed without the power as before.
Al’bah edged closer and placed her hands over Cain’s heart. “Let the moon sing, the sun shine. And let the stars hear the refrain of love.” A brilliant glow enveloped her, but it was an unnatural thing. Though it appeared Al’bah was coated in a brilliant white light, the living room did not grow brighter, nor did the light cast any shadows.
Al’bah held her open hand and allowed a tear to fall upon it. With her other hand, she traced some of her blood through it, and placed her palm upon Cain’s chest.
“Do you see?”
Cain was dumbfounded; now he was glowing, but his light was brighter and somehow more complex.
“I am the moon—you shine upon me.” Al’bah sighed and raised her arms. Tiny motes of light broke away from her luminescence and sparkled about the room.
With a powerful moment of inspiration, Cain raised his right hand. “I am the sun that shines upon you,” he said with an even voice, noticing his luminescence joining Al’bah’s.
The sparkles of unnatural light swept upon unknown currents, mingling and dancing about, bringing a universe of sorts within the small apartment living room.
A million questions raced through Cain’s head. What was this light? How was all this possible? Why didn’t the light make the room brighter, or cast shadows? He wanted to know; he wanted to understand. But the lights began to fade, like a vision behind the closed eyes of a dreamer now beginning to awake. No! It wasn’t fair! He wanted it to last longer!
The light dimmed and Cain sighed deeply, and he didn’t even know he wept until Al’bah wiped his cheek and kissed his lip
s. He was about to ask her so many questions when he saw a drop of blood ooze into the corner of her eye, making a different kind of tear, prompting him to resume his care for her.
There. The blood was wiped clean. Cain could even see new hair starting to grow from the freshly closed wound. He brought the brush forward and started to run it through her hair. She touched his chest and sighed, resting her head into the soft strokes of the brush.
“Al’bah.”
“Cain.”
“That was so beautiful.”
“And I thank you for it, Cain.”
“What?”
Al’bah gently grasped Cain’s hand that held the brush and kissed his fingers. “Such beauty does not come from me, my Bond. You are the one with majestic potential and unclaimed glory. I am overwhelmed.” Al’bah placed the brush down. “Can we go to bed please?” She hiccupped. “I am cold, I am tired, I am scared, and I need to feel your warmth.”
Cain nodded, picking Al’bah up, and he carried her into the bedroom. “Are you okay?” Cain said and almost laughed as the moment brought back a serious moment of déjà vu.
“I am well—you hold me still in chaos. You shine upon me, and I feel your light.” Al’bah sighed. “I am just so cold, so very cold.”
“Are you sure you feel cold?” Cain asked, as Al’bah’s skin now felt feverish.
Still hiccupping occasionally, Al’bah eased into the bed after Cain and quickly made herself comfortable, clutching his torso, her head resting upon Cain’s shoulder. “It is sometimes hard to accurately express myself in your language, Cain. When I say that I am cold, it means I am lonely—but more than that. It means I am sad—but less than that. It means I…” She sighed and rolled over with her back to him, pulling his arms to bring him closer.
Al’bah’s wings draped over Cain like a soft blanket. “It means I have need for your touch, your attention. That I have a need for you. That I need you. I need to be warm—need to feel warm. That I am cold here.” She pressed his hand to her chest, where he could feel her heart.
Chapter 18
Warm
“You will do well to remember, Taint, that I am not your slave. I was never your slave.”
—Walter Stratton
Al’bah wondered if her explanation was enough this time. Oh! How she wished she could speak to Cain in the language of the soul, and he to her. She could often feel Cain’s impatience with her as she tried and tried to explain so many things for him. The disparity between her grasp of the spiritual and his was enormous. He was less than a child in his understandings.
But he will grow, and he will surpass me by boundless measurement.
She was often tempted to use her spiritual powers to drive home her explanations, and tempted to back his absurd denial into a corner by force, using her spiritual powers to bend the fabric of his reality. Thankfully she decided against it; Cain had almost denied her even in the face of his healed hand. Oh, how significant that moment was! Even though it almost cost her everything, it was worth the price. Cain’s denial was no longer impenetrable, and Al’bah would use that tiny crack to invade and break apart his doubt. She would do everything she could to nurture and soften his potential, and allow his seed of faith to grow.
And so she instead used her power to provoke his wonderment, allowing Cain to see what was always inside of him. She was grateful beyond words to see the look of awe upon his face, but not surprised. After all, she was always in awe of him.
A subtle touch will make the skin yearn for more. A whisper is received more so than a scream. And love is desired over hate forevermore.
She felt Cain shift to come out from under her wings and sit cross-legged on the bed. A soft panic fluttered in Al’bah’s heart. Was he upset yet again? Was he still frustrated of her inadequate words?
Al’bah stared at him for a moment and sensed desire beginning to stir in Cain. She got up as well, feeling her own desire respond in kind. He desires me still! she thought triumphantly and smiled warmly, keeping her stare into his soft eyes.
Oh! How strange it was to be desired by a human. It was a dizzying sense of chaos. She could see all the ways and reasons Fallen Angels and Demons felt that they were superior to humanity. She felt her own burning jealousy of the favor Cain had with the Creator. That his way to heaven was spelled out, and the price already paid.
But, she reminded herself, but it is not my place to be jealous. It is not my place to assume that I could dare to supersede the authority of the Creator.
Cain reached out and stopped suddenly.
“Why do you hesitate?” Al’bah breathed.
“I…well, I…is it okay for me to touch your wings?” Cain asked with a shy tone.
He wishes to touch my wings! her mind cried out in joy. At last! He wishes to touch my wings! She brought her wings forward to encircle them both. “My wings are for you, Cain. My cries were due to the remembrance of existence before you,” she said quietly and waited for his touch.
It was an incredible dichotomy to how intimate her wings to her, and how unaware Cain was to the extent of this sense of intimacy. In all her memories, Al’bah had never willingly revealed her wings to another creation. In many ways, it was his ignorance of such significance that made him so worthy.
Was it was his casual fascination that allowed her to be so open and so vulnerable to his sometimes clumsy moments of affection? Or was it his place in the cosmic order? Oh, the favor that humanity enjoyed from the Creator was astounding! To think that Cain was above even the mighty Angels!
She closed her eyes as Cain’s fingertips neared the soft pink flesh of her wings. Suddenly a jolt of ecstasy raced throughout her body. Her breathing became a gasping punctuated by soft cries of pleasure, as her wings were touched by gentle hands for the first time.
“Hurt?”
“Oh! Oh, hurt? No, do not stop!” Al’bah shook her head, barely able to string together the sounds needed to form and shape words. Never in all her memories was she so consumed by desire. She felt as though her body was full of crawling insects that bit her insides. Her blood felt as though it was liquid fire. A mad itching plagued her body that was only relieved by Cain’s touch.
Al’bah cried out, wrapping her arms around Cain’s neck and shoulders. She squeezed her body as tightly to his as she could, biting his flesh, never realizing that she actually broke his skin until his blood filled her mouth. Suddenly, Cain started to push her off his body.
What? No!
“No! No! Please!” she moaned. “I am sorry! What are you doing? No! Please!” Al’bah grew afraid. Was he mad at her? Was he going to bring retribution to her? “Please forgive me, I did not mean to hurt you.”
”It’s okay,” Cain breathed. “Just be careful, your teeth are sharp.”
Al’bah sighed in relief. Cain was not mad; she could sense his emotions and realized his desire intensified in response to her own savage passion. He still kept pushing her off of him, and at last, Al’bah knew why: their positioning was too awkward to satisfy carnal desire.
I do not care! I want his body next to mine! I want him! He is mine!
Al’bah redoubled her effort and struggled to maintain her contact with him, though she quickly lost the gentle tussle, as Cain pinned her arms above her head with one hand. Al’bah took an irrational delight in resisting the urge to free her arms, even though the force he applied to her arms was gentle, not enough to keep her pinned if she did not want to be. And he rewarded her with his kisses upon her neck and breasts. She turned her head with a show of gentle reception to his passion, allowing a more unobstructed access.
She whimpered as her desire started to become painful. Al’bah looked up to Cain with begging eyes, wet with her frustrations and passion. She pleaded to Cain with one word. “Warm.”
At last, Cain released her arms. She called out his name softly while reaching out and touching his face. Her hands moved to his body as her body reveled in his warmth pouring all over her senses—physical and oth
erwise.
She cried out in ecstasy as his kisses smothered her breath and as her eyes burned with tears that froze her face. She reached out with both wings and hands to grasp his hips and pulled him close, gently bringing her Bond to that which was his.
Chapter 19
The Beginnings of Hardship
“Mortals are weak. They abandon infatuation when the false gods they worship are found wanting.”
—Purity
“You return,” Law said without looking up from his work. “I suspect that you have something more substantial to tell me? Something more than your desire to have Cain’s Al’bah returned to you?”
“Indeed,” Taint hissed. “Though I have not yet given up my claim upon my Succubus, I am here to claim that which is rightfully mine.”
“State your claim, and the right that entitles you to that claim,” Law said, now looking up and placing his quill in the inkwell.
“Everything it has, except my Succubus.”
“You do not have claim to everything that Cain possesses.”
“It named my Succubus as its Al’bah; everything else is not.” Taint pointed to Law. “This you cannot deny. You cannot deny my claim. You cannot deny my logic!”
“I do not deny your logic. I take the issue with what Cain considers to be his ‘everything.’” Law picked up a fresh scroll and started to write upon it. “Your claim is legitimate. You may take everything that Cain considers to be everything to him.”
“A small pittance, would you not say?” Purity said as he appeared with the light. “I am here to remind you, Taint, that you deal with a human born in the era of the Risen Savior. There are limits as to what you can do. There are limits to what you can take, regardless of how ignorant Cain might be of the severity of his actions.”
“I am well aware of my limitations, Angel! It would be dead if I had none! It will still die for its offense to me. You should thank me—once I am successful, you can go back to your solitude.”
“Underestimating humanity as always, then?”
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