His consciousness wavered, and Cain could barely keep his words in. His hearing went far and away as his entire life flowed away from him like the memory of water flowing over a dry riverbed. His words became a muffled noise that he could barely keep up with, punctuated every so often by the dull thud of the axe that split the logs.
They were supposed to be forgiving! Isn’t that what Christians do?
And my father wouldn’t listen to me…
They were going to kill Charlie, I couldn’t stand the thought of…
And they even admitted it wasn’t my fault! They just wanted to…
And I told her to stay the fuck away from me…
I hate this…
Now everyone seems to be able to take away everything from me…
You know what I find funny about that guy, Job? Where did his secondary wealth come from? Did it fall from the sky?
And now my life seems worthless…
Cain looked up; the Christian pastor had cleared his throat after what must have been a long pause.
“Is there anything else you wish to tell me?”
“No, I suppose that is all I have to say.”
“Okay.” The Christian pastor turned and started to walk to the house.
“Hey, wait a sec, what about you? What do you think? What do you have to say?”
“A lot. But, I am hungry, and dinner should be ready. I am going to go in.”
Cain stood in disbelief. The Christian pastor was different than any other Christian he had ever met. He had fully expected him to begin an impromptu sermon. He also thought him saying that he wasn’t ready to listen was a more clever setup, but now that he was finished, Cain found himself genuinely curious. Curiosity gave in to frustration.
I am not a game piece! I am not a toy! he thought, slamming the axe into the stump that served as the chopping block for splitting the logs.
His frustrations collapsed in confusion as his insecurities crept in. Maybe he has nothing to say to me because I am nothing. That would make sense… He shouldered the axe and walked back to the house, pausing to hang the axe in its place. He paused by the door, his hand suspended in midair.
Maybe I should just leave…maybe.
As soon as the thought entered his head, another harsh chill gripped his body. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his fists as hard as he could.
Why? Why don’t I want to be free? Why do I want her near me? What is going on? Why am I so cold?
The door opened, and Al’bah was standing there. She had a worried look on her face. “Cain, please. You are hungry, I am hungry. Would you please come with me?”
Cain stepped forward and embraced Al’bah tightly. “Al’bah, I am so cold,” he said through shivers that were given the mercy they begged for. A surreal sense of warmth poured over his senses, easing more than just the torturous chill.
“Your soul touches mine,” Al’bah whispered in Cain’s ear. “I can feel you.”
“Why does this happen?”
“Because you wish it to be so. I would never presume to control you, or to have a vice over you.” Al’bah brought her face from Cain’s chest to look in him the eyes. “When I surrendered to you, it may have been desperate. But it was also with a heart full of peace and joy.” She rested her head back upon Cain’s chest.
“Thus, I desire your warmth so much.”
“And me?” Cain asked.
Al’bah squeezed Cain tightly. “Yours came from your desire for me to know you. Do you not remember when you asked me to allow you to be weak?”
She lowered her hands and her face. “But, I…”
Cain grasped his Bond closer, and tried his best to reach out to her with his heart. No…I will remember my word to her. I will not leave her. I…I think I…
Al’bah whispered, breaking his thoughts. “Cain, I love you. I will always love you. No matter what happens, so long as you want me, I will stand by your side.”
Chapter 66
What Legacy Exalts You Above All Men?
“You’re kidding me. Al’bah is a Succubus?”
—Charlie Tsukada
The evening meal was a more formal affair with the Christian pastor as a guest. Dinner was served with a long grace by the Christian pastor, and the conversation primarily seemed to be between Serenna, Amidres’, and him, with topics ranging from current events to the spiritual state of the world, and even a bit of guesswork of what tomorrow might hold. Al’bah chimed in a great deal, always wanting to know more about the Christian pastor’s relationship with Jesus, and the extensive knowledge he had of the King James Bible.
After the dishes were taken care of, Amidres and Serenna took to the living room as usual, but the Christian pastor stayed behind at the table, playing with a beautifully carved hardwood pipe, an old gift from Amidres’ and strictly for show.
“Are you coming, Pastor Hughes?” Serenna asked. “We have Earl Grey tonight.”
“Not just yet,” he said, seeming content to run his fingers along the curved surfaces of the pipe, letting the evening meal digest agreeably in his stomach.
“Cain? What about you?” Amidres’ asked.
“No. Thank you, though.”
Al’bah looked from the Christian pastor to Cain, but left without saying anything.
Cain sat and waited, but the Christian pastor just fingered his pipe and sipped his cup of water. “Al’bah is quite the individual,” he said at last.
“I didn’t think you would have anything positive to say about her.”
The Christian pastor shrugged. “Cain, I am unsure of what you are thinking that you are doing with Al’bah. This whole business of spiritual Bonding as it was in the times of Noah is not very detailed in Genesis.” He shook his head; Al’bah had offered to explain it to him, but he refused, stating he would trust first in God.
“Though, I will never presume to know everything about the Bible, nor will I spare my thoughts too deeply into God actions that are not revealed to man. But what I will say is this: there is a reason why humanity is not told everything. There are plenty of reasons why I think this. The first and the best would be that we are not worthy to know.”
He tapped his pipe and said after some thought, “But, her claim of trying to regain her place with the Lord is one I will not question, or bar. But I am unsure if it is my place to believe or help her, either.” He placed the pipe in his mouth and looked Cain in the eye while speaking around its tip. “Al’bah told me that you had a near brush with death.”
“Yes.”
“And she, along with Amidres’ and Serenna, saved your life?”
“Yes, but—”
“And something about burning a great deal of money in order to do so?”
“Yes! You see, it—”
“And now you hold blame and anger in your heart against Al’bah?”
“Would you listen to me?” Cain said, pulling at his hair with frustration.
The Christian pastor waited.
Cain looked into the dark eyes of the Christian pastor and opened his mouth to speak. But his words caught in his throat. He realized that he said everything he could have not more than two hours ago.
Upon seeing the realization settle upon his face, the Christian pastor spoke again. “So, you are falsely accused of heinous crimes. Forced to flee the life you had and known. Your muscles wasted away due to a near fatal sickness. And last of all, your money burnt, to spare your life.”
He sighed and continued. “And from it all, you despair because you have nothing left. You don’t even have the ramshackle shelter only pride can offer—pride in believing that your sufferings are great and many.” He looked out to the living room. Al’bah had been watching them both. Her blue-violet eyes were large and carried a sad feel. He turned back to Cain to speak again.
“You know, Cain, the Bible is a book of wisdom. It not only applies to Christians, but it applies to everyone. ‘For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the ey
es and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.’ That’s first John chapter two, verse sixteen.”
He leaned forward. “What do you think that verse means?”
Cain didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. His head hung low, as he was no longer able to meet Ray Hughes’s gaze.
“So, you’ve lost everything. Let me ask you now, was your life that exceptional? Were your possessions so wondrous? Did men and women sing your praises of the accomplishments of your life?” He sighed. “Just what sort of legacy does your former life have that is worth mourning? I’d say there is nothing at all.”
“What right do you have to judge me?”
Ray Hughes shrugged. “Okay, Cain, give me one example that exults you above all men. Just one thing you can think of and I take it all back, and add my voice to the praises that you have had.”
Cain opened his mouth, about to boast of his feats of strength, his intelligence, something. But he realized what the pastor meant by “above all men.” He closed his mouth and shook his head.
“I can’t.”
“I am not here to judge you, Cain, but to bring you into understanding.” Ray Hughes opened his Bible and flipped through while speaking. “Your losses may be great, but I’d say that the sacrifices are just beginning.”
“Beginning! What more could I possibly sacrifice?”
Ray Hughes shook his head. “Money, a strong body, the forfeiture of a lifestyle. These are things of the world; you offer nothing in the sight of God.”
“And what about you? Are you going to tell me you’ve done better? That you are so perfect?”
“Perfect? Me? There is no one that is righteous, not one. Christians are held to the standard of perfection, but we sin. The world will take every example of weakness in a Christian and point to Christ, declaring all of His Church as being of hypocrites. This weakness, however, is from man, not God. This weakness should emphasize the mercy and righteousness of God!”
His face winced, as if remembering a painful memory. “Lord, I have sinned. I have sinned in pride! So have us all! Everyone, no matter how great or how insignificant! No matter how good or how evil! Without salvation, we are all worthless in the face of God.”
Cain started to get up. “Humph. I thought at the very least you’d be able to give me some sort of answer, some sort of reassurance. But all I have heard from you so far is how I have offered nothing before God, how everyone sins, and how you agree with the shortcomings of the sufferings I’ve endured.”
Ray Hughes face brightened. “Yes, that is true! So, Cain, do you wish to correct each and every issue that you are battling with? Do you wish to have something to offer God? Do you wish to have your sufferings mean nothing? Even to yourself? Do you wish to become exceptional before the eyes of God? Do you wish to have a strength that you have never known?”
Cain sat back down. “And what if I don’t?”
“That will be your choice, and we would have nothing more to say.”
“Tell me more.”
“What would you like to know?”
“I don’t know…I don’t have anything left to hang on to anymore. It’s just that…”
Pastor Ray Hughes nodded, acknowledging the defeat that consumed Cain. Indeed he had lost everything. And the past was past. In the here and now, he was ready at last to let go of his pride and the last vestiges of his former life.
Ray started to flip though the Bible. “Well, at least you are willing to listen. We can start there.”
***
“Beautiful,” Al’bah whispered, attracting the attention of Serenna and Amidres’.
“What was that?” Amidres said and turned to see what Al’bah was looking at.
“I hope he will be able to bring Cain to the Creator,” Al’bah whispered.
“He won’t,” Serenna said quietly.
Al’bah turned to her with a confused look.
Serenna continued. “Christ is the only one who can bring Cain before God. And in the end, it will be Cain’s choice to accept Him.”
Al’bah nodded and turned away. It was too painful to watch.
“What about you, Al’bah? Can you not accept Christ as your Savior?” Amidres’ asked.
Al’bah took a deep breath that almost dissolved into crying. “Christ’s plan of salvation was for mankind. I do not know if it could apply to me.” She stood and curtseyed slightly. “Excuse me, but I am tried. And I cannot bear this anymore. I am so cold, but Cain is with him. I am so jealous, but I will not hinder the efforts that are at work here.” She looked back to the kitchen and wiped her eyes.
Because, this time… it is Christ who wants Cain. And I will not dare to keep him from his Savior.
***
It was about five in the morning at the shores of the Rio Grande. Two figures could be seen on the American side: one was an older black male, while the other was a tall, athletic Caucasian. It was cold this particular morning, and their breaths were visible in the light from the moon shining down upon them, like an eye that decided to watch this particular scene.
The black male wore loose-fitting robes, and the white male quickly stripped down to his undergarment. Together they stepped out a few feet from the shore, and the white male kneeled before the other.
The black male spoke for several minutes, speaking in a tone of reverence, of joy. He then turned to the man kneeling before him and asked him a few questions. The man answered each one, and with a quick motion he was dipped into the water, left as dead, and arose along with the morning sun that was perfectly aligned with the horizon and the river. A new being…now and forever…world without end…amen.
Chapter 67
Love at Last
“Just one thing to remember, Cain: this is not the end of a journey, but the beginning. Life will only become harder. But with the everlasting arm of the Lord to rest upon, you will not fail.”
—Ray Hughes
“Ray?”
“Yes, Cain?”
“What about Al’bah? Why couldn’t she—”
“It is something that I have no knowledge on, Cain.”
Cain ran his hand through his wet hair and felt an overwhelming pity for Al’bah. “There isn’t hope for her?” he said quietly.
Hughes was quiet for a long time as the endless hum of the engine of his battered truck and the heater filled the silence, punctuated by the occasional creak or bump. “I will only say this, Cain. In first Peter, chapters ten through twelve speak of the Angels longing to look into the plan of salvation the Lord has for us. This leads me to believe that spiritual creatures are quite lost if they are severed from the Lord.”
He turned down the heater a notch and continued. “However, Al’bah’s nature is strange. It has a duality like mankind has. Al’bah was a purely spiritual being, and was given flesh. We are flesh beings that have a spiritual nature that becomes vastly more important when we pass on.”
Ray shrugged as he continued to speak. “I will admit, her desire for restoration appears genuine, and her love for the Lord is very apparent. She has more than simple faith; she says she knows God exists. She has hope, because she desires a place beside God.”
Ray glanced over to Cain with a twinkle in his eye. “And, she loves you. I don’t think an irrecoverably damned entity could love if it is completely severed from God.”
“Is there anything that could be done?”
Hughes shrugged as they rounded the last turn and went up the last hill. “Pray, Cain, and ask God for a miracle. God has the answer, if there even is one. The Bible does not reveal everything concerning the entirety of existence to mankind, and so there just might be hope.”
Cain closed his eyes, praying and thinking hard on everything that had happened, a whirlwind of events not quite unlike the stories that Ray had read to him from the Bible. His thoughts were interrupted by the truck coming to a stop at last. He opened the truck door and stepped out to the dusty ground. Al’bah nearly flew out the front door of t
he Wellses’ house, and she ran straight for Cain.
“Cain!” Al’bah cried and flung her arms around his neck, her legs wrapped around his hips. “Oh, Cain, where did you go? Why could you not bring me? I want to be with you! Oh, I am so cold.”
Cain gently set Al’bah down and looked into her eyes. “Al’bah, I…thank you.”
Al’bah shook her head slightly confused. “Thank me? For what, Cain?”
Cain gently slid his hands to the sides of Al’bah’s face, his forehead touching hers. “For saving my life.” He closed his eyes and breathed deeply of her scent. “If it weren’t for you, I would be dead by now. Or perhaps I would be alive, but dead on the inside. You have brought so many good things to me. You gave me my life in more ways than one. Thank you.”
Al’bah looked from Cain to the pastor. He had a tired look upon his eyes. Neither he nor Cain had slept the night before. With a slight nod to Al’bah, he entered the house. “I think I need a nap.”
Al’bah squeezed her fists full of Cain’s shirt and whispered softly, “Such miracles.”
Cain’s vision swayed before him, almost giving in to darkness. His exhausted body begged him to allow sleep to come. Not yet, he told himself. She must know, I must tell her.
“Oh, Cain, you should rest,” Al’bah said, helping him in the house. Once in the spare guestroom, Al’bah quickly helped Cain remove his clothes, taking care as he winced from the various aches and pains still plaguing his body. Cain sighed as he finally laid down upon the bed. His vision swayed and mixed vividly with memories as he drifted in and out of sleep, in and out of dreams.
“Al’bah, why do you love me? Is it something more than a choice for you?”
She grinned at this. “There are no words to describe the connection we share. You are my Bond. I love you. I chose to love you, as you chose me to be your companion.” Al’bah sighed softly and held her breath for a moment, asking yet again. “And you, Cain, do you…do you love me?”
Succubus Tear (Triune promise) Page 39