Baby Zeke: The Diary of a Chicken Jockey: The Complete Minecraft Series, Books 1-9: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

by Dr. Block

  “Herobrine’s minion,” said the witch with a frightened voice.

  I knew Harold and I had to get out of there right away. I did not want to see whatever it was that was making that infernal sound.

  I dashed to Harold’s cage and smashed it wide open with one strike of the obsidian sword.

  Harold jumped out of the cage and said, “Thanks. Let’s get out of here.”

  He did not have to ask twice. I hopped on Harold and he raced toward the rear exit of the building. We opened the door and stepped outside, just as we heard the front door creak open.

  I did not look back as the rear door closed behind us. But, I felt something evil follow me out the door. It was as if the essence of Herobrine’s minion somehow leaked out of the closing door and clutched at us with its icy, death-like embrace.

  “Harold,” I said as we ran, “we’ll never be able to escape with the minion here. We’ll have to try and hide.”

  “Don’t you think the minion will be able to find us?” asked Harold.

  “Maybe, but it is our only chance. Besides, I have an idea.”

  Chapter 9

  Harold followed me as I rushed along the outskirts of the village. I found the rear of the house where I had seen the young villagers hiding in the basement. When I got to the rear door, I knocked softly. I did not want to break the door down and draw any attention.

  There was no response after a few seconds, so I knocked again. Nothing. Then, I pushed the door, and it easily swung open.

  “Do villagers ever lock their doors?” I said.

  “I don’t think so,” said Harold. “They are a bit derpy when it comes to residential security.”

  “Come on, Harold. Let’s go inside.”

  I led the way. Seeing the coast was clear, Harold followed me inside and closed the door behind him.

  I glanced around the main room of the house. No one was around. There were stairs leading down to the basement, as well as stairs leading to the second storey.

  “Harold, I saw some young villagers hiding in this house when that freaky chimera was taking me to the witch. They looked friendly.”

  “You don’t think they will turn us in for the 1,000 diamonds? They are villagers, man. Greedy, little villagers,” said Harold.

  “No, we are not!” said a quiet but insistent voice from the basement stairs.

  Harold grinned. “It worked,” he whispered.

  “Well, then get up here and help us,” I said.

  “No,” came a second voice. “You come down here. It is too dangerous up there.”

  The voice had a point. “Okay, we are coming down,” I said.

  We descended the stairs and found two young villagers relaxing in the basement. It looked like they had been counting emeralds and working on some sort of project for school.

  “So, you guys aren’t scared of me?” I asked.

  “Nope.”

  “You aren’t going to turn us in for the 1,000 diamond bounty?”

  “Nope.”

  “Why are you helping us?” asked Harold.

  “Hurr, extra credit,” said one of the villagers.

  “What?” I asked, totally confused.

  “We have to do a report in school about a mob. We thought if we could interview you, we’d have the best report ever. Plus, if you come to class with us, we can get extra credit.”

  “I’m not sure I can stay here that long,” I said.

  “At least let us interview you,” said one.

  “I suppose that would be okay,” I said. “But first, what are your names?”

  “I’m Tammer, and he’s Harrison.”

  The two villagers high-fived each other.

  “Tammer the hammer,” said Harrison.

  “Harrison the barbarian,” said Tammer.

  I’ll never understand villagers, I thought.

  “So, you guys realize that that freaky creeper-headed thing that captured us was working for a witch and she was going to give us to Herobrine’s minion, right?” I asked.

  “Yeah, we heard something about that,” said Tammer. “That is why we wanted to interview you. Everyone will be totally jealous that we got to interview Baby Zeke.”

  I had to admit, he made a good point. And, I was glad to feel like a celebrity again after being on the run for the last few days.

  “So, can we start now?” asked Harrison.

  “I suppose so,” I said. “Do you want to interview both me and Harold?”

  They nodded.

  “I’ll start,” said Harrison. “Baby Zeke, why do zombies like to kill villagers?”

  “Uh, we don’t actually like to kill villagers, but we do it because we feel compelled to. Almost as if it had been programmed into us.”

  Tammer looked a bit concerned. “Do you feel like killing us now?” he asked.

  “Actually, now that I think about it, I do,” I said, watching their expressions of horror. “But, I won’t because you are helping me escape.”

  “That’s a relief,” said Tammer.

  “So, Harold, what’s it like to have to carry around a bunch of rotten, undead flesh on your back all day?” asked Harrison.

  “Let me tell you, Harrison, it smells pretty bad. Putrid, even. Rotten meat is not pleasant. I’m surprised flies don’t lay eggs on Zeke.”

  “So, you hate Baby Zeke riding on you as if you were a horse?” asked Tammer.

  “I didn’t say that. I just said that he smells powerful bad. Pow - er - ful,” said Harold, emphasizing each syllable.

  “Zeke, other than a zombie or a chicken, what is your favorite mob and why?” asked Tammer.

  I had to think about that for a while. I could have said cows, because they are the tastiest. But, I decided to say, “Squids. Because they seem to have completely uneventful lives. They just swim and swim and almost nothing tries to attack them. It sounds relaxing.”

  “I always thought squids were kind of gross,” said Harold. “My favorite mob is the bat. I’ve always been jealous of how well they can fly. If chickens could fly, we’d get more respect.”

  Tammer and Harrison were furiously writing down all of our responses.

  “Okay,” said Tammer. “Just one last question. If you could have one wish, what would it be?”

  I laughed bitterly. “That’s easy. I’d want Herobrine to leave me and my friends in peace.”

  “I agree,” said Harold.

  I looked at the two villagers. It seemed like they were done with their questions, so I said, “Great. Now that we are done with that, can you help us escape?”

  Tammer and Harrison grinned at each other.

  “I think that can be arranged,” said Harrison.

  The two villagers quickly explained to Harold and me that they had built a series of underground tunnels connecting their two houses and the houses of all the young villagers.

  “We call it our Minestagram,” they said.

  “Mine-sta-what?” I asked, totally confused.

  “Minestagram,” said Tammer. “We send information in the form of a ‘gram’ of some sort. A gram is like a drawing or a note or even a small model we’ve built.”

  “It’s super cool,” continued Harrison. “We put a gram on the minecart and press a lever. The cart automatically goes to its next stop and a bell goes off. Then, the kid living at that stop opens the trap door in his or her floor, reads the note, leaves a comment, and then presses the lever and it goes to the next stop.”

  I nodded my head. “So, it’s like an information-sharing network?” I said.

  “Exactly. We can it a network for socializing. Or, a social network,” said Tammer.

  “Impressive,” said Harold.

  “And, we can also use the cart to visit each other at night without worrying about being attacked by hostile mobs,” they explained.

  I had to admit, it was very clever.

  “What you should do, is take the tunnel to Justin’s house. Then get directions to Sparrow’s house. Once you get to Spa
rrow’s place, you can sneak out the back and into the forest,” said Harrison.

  “Will they know I’m coming?” I asked. “I mean, I don’t want to scare them and have them try to attack me or something.”

  “No, it’s cool. When they took you into the building to see the witch, Justin and Sparrow were actually with us in the basement. We sent them back to their houses to make preparations,” explained Tammer. “Sparrow should even have some supplies for you.”

  I was completely impressed. “Wow! You villager kids really think ahead.”

  They smiled. “It’s part of our villager survival training. They start it when we are only six years old. We have to learn to out think the mobs if we want to survive. No offense.”

  “None taken,” I said.

  “We should probably get going,” said Harold. “Herobrine’s minion is probably looking for us, and we want to be as far from this village as possible.”

  “In you go then,” said Tammer, raising a square door in the floor and revealing a tunnel.

  “Just hop in the minecart and press the lever. It has its own power source. It will take you directly to Justin’s house,” said Harrison.

  “Thanks,” Harold and I said as we lowered ourselves into the minecart.

  As the minecart began to move, I could feel the cold, underground air rushing past my undead flesh. It felt cool and peaceful.

  For the first time in a long time, I had a feeling things were going to work out.

  But, my feeling would not last long.

  Chapter 10

  Less than one minute later, the minecart came to a stop directly underneath a small wooden door: Justin’s house. I noticed that the track at this point branched in three different directions.

  I pointed at the branching tracks and said, “I can see why we need directions to Sparrow’s house.”

  I climbed the short ladder leading to the door and pushed it open. I poked my head into the opening and looked around the room.

  “No one is here, Harold.”

  “Maybe Justin is doing something in another room. We should probably wait for him.”

  “Okay,” I said, hoisting myself into the room. I turned around and extended my hand for Harold.

  Harold shook his head. “I can’t reach. Your arms are too stubby,” he said. “I’ll climb the ladder.”

  “Easy with the body shaming, man,” I said, rubbing my short arms and feeling sorry for myself. “Not cool.”

  When Harold made it to the top of the ladder, he walked over to me and put his arm on my shoulder. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. “I just meant I couldn’t reach your arm.”

  “Well, my arms are stubby, but you didn’t need to remind me of it like that.”

  “Sorry,” said Harold. Then, after a brief pause, he added, “Where do you think Justin is?”

  I shrugged. “Probably counting emeralds or something. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

  I stood up and began walking around the room. I could not believe all of the stuff he had in his room.

  He had a combat handbook and a construction handbook open on his desk. They looked like school textbooks.

  He had a poster on his wall identifying all of the hostile mobs that lived in the Overworld.

  In his closet he had twenty identical brown robes.

  I’ve been wearing the same clothes since I spawned, I thought. I must smell terrible.

  He had a pile of small blocks, which looked like all the different blocks of the world. It was some sort of building set. It looked like he was in the process of building the model of a snow biome.

  A box next to the pile was labeled “Notch Blocks” and had the tagline: “Now You can be the Creator.”

  He also had hundreds of books purporting to be diaries of mobs, players, villagers, and even Herobrine himself!

  “Check this out,” I said to Harold. “Look at all of these books. You know how long it would take to read all these?”

  “Probably a long time,” said Harold, scanning the pile of books.

  “Must be nice to have that sort of free time,” I said, absently flipping the pages of the Diary of a Minecraft Bat named Swirly.

  Harold started jumping up and down. “No way. Justin has a complete collection of the Diary of a Wimpy Villager series. I heard it’s pretty awesome.”

  “What’s it about?”

  Harold shrugged. “A villager who does stuff and has adventures, I guess.”

  “Maybe I should read it to help me understand how these villagers think,” I said.

  “Could do,” said Harold.

  I was just beginning to flip through the first volume of the Wimpy Villager series when there was a loud *CLICK*. Harold looked at me, frightened.

  “Did that come from the walls?” I asked.

  “Sounded like it,” said Harold.

  “I wonder what it …?” Before I could even utter my question, it was answered by movement. As if from nowhere, iron bars emerged from the ceiling and walls, moving toward us, as if on invisible tracks.

  “It’s a trap,” said Harold. “Back to the minecart.”

  We ran for the small door in the floor of the room. We dove for it. I grabbed it and tried to force it open, but the bars of the cage got to the edge of the door a moment earlier. The weight of the bars made it impossible to lift the door.

  Trapped.

  “Do you think those kids sold us out?” asked Harold.

  “They wouldn’t do that,” I said.

  “Then how?” asked Harold.

  Before I could answer, I felt an icy draft blow under the door from outside the room. That was when I knew.

  “Herobrine’s minion,” I said. “He’s come for us.”

  Chapter 11

  I pulled on the iron bars, looking for some way out, but they wouldn’t budge. I had almost given up hope when I remembered: the obsidian sword!

  I pulled the sword out and slashed at the thick iron bars. Nothing. I slashed again and again, but the only damage was shallow scratches.

  “Try the floor,” said Harold desperately.

  I slashed at the floor. The sword was beginning to cut the wood, but the cage was so small, I could not put much force behind each blow. If I could have worked at it for five or ten minutes, I could have broken through. But, as the icy draft got colder and colder, I knew we did not have that much time.

  Suddenly, the door burst open and in walked an iron golem. Well, it had an iron golem’s body but a creeper head.

  “Are you Herobrine’s minion?” I said with a shaky voice.

  It did not speak, but shook its head as if to say “no.”

  Then, from behind the door, I heard a deep, slow voice: “Bring them to the chamber, pet.”

  The golem walked to the cage and slid a solid metal piece under the bottom of the cage, which clicked securely into place. Then, he picked up the cage in his massive, powerful hands.

  The golem carried us outside the house and through the streets of the village. We again passed by Tammer and Harrison staring out the little glass window. They looked sad and confused.

  Then, I noticed two other boys next to them: Justin and Sparrow. At least they had escaped the minion’s wrath. Seeing them there together, I knew they were not involved. I knew they were good.

  The golem carried the cage back to the same building where we had escaped from the witch. He carried us inside and dropped us on the floor.

  When I looked around, I was distraught. There, in front of me, were Bob, Otis and Zeb, all locked in cages just like us!

  “Guys!” I shouted. “What happened? What is this?”

  “They found me during the day, while I was sleeping,” said Zeb sadly. “It happened so fast, I was in this cage before I woke up.”

  “That stupid witch’s chimera grabbed us earlier today, when we got here looking for you,” said Otis. “But, at least she got hers.” I followed Otis’s gaze across the room. It was the witch, where she cowered inside her own ca
ge.

  “How did that happen?” I asked.

  “I guess Herobrine’s minion wasn’t too happy that she let you and Harold escape,” said Otis. “Serves her right.”

  I was glad to see the witch had been captured, but it did not change the fact that my friends and I were also captured. We had to get out of this.

  Then, I felt the familiar, icy wind moving slowly across the floor, chilling my undead flesh.

  The door to the large room we were in creaked open slowly. As it came into the room, you could hear a pin drop. It felt as if fear and evil entered the room just before we saw it. There was no doubt about it, we were in the presence of Herobrine’s minion.

  The minion was so black, I almost could not make it out at first. Then, as my eyes adjusted, I could penetrate the darkness and make out its features.

  It was encased in obsidian armor from head-to-toe, with only its boney face revealing that it was a wither skeleton. It sat astride a skeleton horse, also armored with obsidian.

  The horse paced slowly into the room. It was the most dramatic entrance I had ever seen. And, the most frightening. I was probably even more scared now that when I faced Herobrine himself, such was the power of menace exuded by the minion.

  The minion scowled at us, like we were nothing but insects to it. The horse walked to the front of the room. The minion dismounted and then addressed us.

  “Traitors who attacked the mighty Herobrine, I am Shadow, the great minion of Herobrine, true ruler of the Overworld” he began in a deep, hollow voice. “I have come because you dared to stop Herobrine from deploying the mysterious objects. Now you must pay for your sins.”

  “Let my friends go,” I yelled. “Just kill me.”

  “No,” yelled my friends in unison.

  The minion held up his hands and silence fell instantly upon the room.

  “Truly, Herobrine has every right to slaughter you. But, truly, Herobrine is also merciful. Herobrine will let you all go free. All he asks is one simple thing in return.”