by Doctor Who
Crash!
Rose jumped. She was no longer lying on the couch next to Marcia, but was alongside the green-cloaked young man.
He jumped too. ‘Oh!’ he said.
‘Don’t tell me,’ Rose said with a grin. ‘You were just wishing you could get to know me a bit better.’
‘Well, now you mention it. . . ’ he said.
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‘I’m Rose,’ she told him, liking the look of his dark blue eyes and slightly embarrassed smile. ‘Rose Tyler.’
‘Crispus. Quintus Junius Crispus.’
A slave handed Rose a cup of wine, which she accepted but then had second thoughts about drinking – she remembered what had happened to her last time. So when Crispus suddenly said, ‘Ursus,’ she nearly fell off the couch.
Forcing herself to be calm, Rose said, ‘Ursus?
What about him?’
‘I heard he was making a sculpture of you. I would love to see that.’
‘Yeah, well, that’s probably not going to happen,’ she told him. ‘I’ve decided I’m not cut out for the life of a model.’
‘Oh,’ he said, clearly not understanding. ‘That’s a shame. I think Cornelia was quite eager to speak to you.’
Rose frowned. ‘Cornelia?’
He gestured towards the large woman in the butter-yellow robe.
‘Cornelia. Ursus’s mother.’
Rose froze. That was not someone she wanted to chat with. But it was too late. The woman had seen her looking and was determined to seize this opportunity to make contact. She walked over, her less-than-dainty stride reminding Rose of a cowboy heading for a showdown.
Ursus’s gaucheness obviously ran in the family..
‘You must be Rose,’ she said, holding out a hand.
Rose looked at the thick pink fingers and flashed back to those clumsy hands reaching out for her in the workshop. . . She couldn’t take this woman’s hand, she just couldn’t.
After a second, the hand was withdrawn. Rose wanted the ground to open up under her. Of course, if she said that out loud she’d probably find herself suddenly falling all the way to Australia – no, what would be opposite Italy – New Zealand?
Cornelia spoke, and recalled Rose to herself. ‘I am disappointed my son is not here,’ the woman said. ‘Between you and me, he was a disappointment to us for many years. It brings great joy that he has found success at last, even if it is as an artisan.’ She smiled apprais-ingly at Rose. ‘And how charming that he has been making a statue 138
of you. I’m sure he could not resist immortalising someone so young and pretty.’
Rose made an ‘oh, no, not really’ face, still not trusting herself to speak.
‘I wish you would tell me all about it,’ said Cornelia.
A booming sound rang in Rose’s ears. The GENIE had heard! She opened her mouth to protest, but what came out instead was: ‘Your son drugged me and then turned me to stone using a power that had been given to him by a Genetically Engineered Neural Imagination Engine from the twenty-fourth century, disguised as the goddess Minerva. My friends, the last of the Time Lords who now was never here and a girl from the future, restored me to life and we tracked Ursus to a ruined temple, where he petrified both of them and I caused him to fall on his dagger, fatally wounding him. His body was then absorbed by the GENIE, which is over there but currently looks to you like a monkey.’
Cornelia looked as though she were about to faint.
Rose was desperately trying to think what to do, when-
Crash!
Rose knew she hadn’t wished – out loud – for a distraction, but one was provided anyway. There were gasps and cheers from the assembled Romans. The African dancers stumbled in their carefully practised routine, as their already skimpy outfits vanished altogether.
The dancers hurried from the room, embarrassed. Rose suspected the two gentlemen with the dazed and incredulous expressions to be the wishing culprits in this case.
Crash!
The young girl with the discontented parents screamed. Her father had vanished, popped out of existence as if he’d never been. Her mother looked on, shocked but, so it seemed to Rose, delighted too.
Crash!
Where the old lady had been there was now a tiny baby, its childish cries muffled by the ginger wig which had fallen down over its head..
‘I think she might have wanted to be young again,’ Rose murmured.
‘Probably hadn’t planned on the nappy, though.’
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Vanessa was looking panic-stricken, holding the GENIE out at arm’s length.
Rose jumped up and hurried to her. ‘We’ve got to get out of here before it does any more harm,’ she said, taking the box. She glared at the monkey. ‘Will you just stop this, you – you wish-pusher?’
‘It is my function,’ said the GENIE unhelpfully. ‘I have to comply with any wishes within my hearing, provided I have the power to do so. Aha!’
The clap of thunder left Rose in no doubt as to the meaning of the GENIE’s exclamation. She looked around hurriedly, trying to discern what wish it had granted now.
It took her a moment to spot. The young man Crispus’s clothes had suddenly become brilliant purple and a laurel wreath had appeared on his head. But of course, that’s how he should be dressed. He was the emperor, after all. Imperator Caesar Quintus Junius Crispus Augustus, princeps of Rome, and she, Rose. . . she was his. . . concubine?
People in the room were bowing down, some prostrating themselves on the floor. Rose almost joined them.
But then she stopped. She was a twenty-first-century girl. Bowing and scraping didn’t come naturally to her. Anyway, this wasn’t how things should be. Something was wrong. . .
And hang on a minute, she was certainly no one’s concubine. The cheek of the lad! And she’d thought him so nice when she’d first met him. . . Rose began to remember.
She looked down at the box she was holding.
Inside was a monkey. No – the GENIE. The granter of wishes. This wasn’t real. ‘You’re not the emperor!’ she said out loud.
Big mistake. There were shocked gasps from all round the room.
Crispus jumped to his feet. ‘What? I’ll have your head for this! Grab her,’ he shouted imperiously.
Rose grabbed hold of the genuflecting Vanessa, dragging her towards the doorway.
‘Let me go!’ Vanessa yelled, struggling, but Rose couldn’t just abandon her to the madness.
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The drunken men got to their feet and several burly slaves were already heading towards the two girls. Rose picked up the pace, hurtling towards the exit, Vanessa stumbling behind her, but the slaves were gaining on them.
‘Come on!’ she shouted at Vanessa.
‘The emperor will have us killed for running away!’
Vanessa
moaned.
‘He’s not the emperor!’ Rose threw back breathlessly.
Vanessa moaned louder. ‘He’ll have you killed for saying that!’
‘So, I die twice. Typical imperial overkill. Come on!’
Vanessa screamed as a slave grabbed hold of her tunic. Rose turned to help her but was grabbed herself for her pains, another slave gripping her arms tightly. She dropped the box holding the GENIE as the slave began to drag her back towards Crispus. It was now or never.
Wishing might well be out of the frying pan into the fire, but she’d just have to hope, because the frying pan was getting pretty hot right now. . .
She couldn’t think what to say, of a safe phrase that couldn’t be misinterpreted. Safe. . . that was the main thing, the only thing at the moment.
‘I wish Vanessa and I were safe!’ Rose yelled.
Crash!
And everything disappeared.
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Rose was nowhere. All around, as far as the eye could see, was whiteness, like being buried in a warm, dry snowdrift. She could see Vanessa there too, but the blankness made distances deceptive; she might have been ten yards
or ten miles away. Rose felt giddy as her eyes tried to adjust to the nothingness. She wanted to sit down but as she couldn’t even see what her feet were standing on, she decided that might not be the best of moves. All she could think of were children’s illustrations of heaven, and she wondered if an angel with a harp might wander past any moment.
Was she dead?
She’d wished to be safe and, in a strange sort of way, there was nothing safer than being dead. After all, nothing could hurt you.
But she still felt scared, still had the adrenalin rush of the chase, could still feel the pain of the cuts and scratches she’d gained over the last few hours. Surely all that sort of thing would go away after death?
Struggling with vertigo, Rose tried to take a step towards Vanessa
– or at least, where Vanessa appeared to be. Her head spinning, she couldn’t work out if she’d actually moved or not, but she attempted 143
another step anyway. Suddenly Vanessa was only an arm’s length away. Startled, Rose stumbled back, and the girl receded into the distance once again.
Gritting her teeth, Rose moved one foot in front of the other. There was Vanessa, right beside her. Rose reached out a hand and grabbed hold of the other girl’s arm.
‘Don’t want to lose you!’ she said, although to tell the truth it was as much to steady herself as anything.
Vanessa looked terrified. ‘Where are we?’
‘Dunno,’ said Rose. ‘Outside time and space, I guess. Look, don’t panic. All we’ve got to do is work out exactly what to say, and then wish ourselves back again.’
‘But how?’ said Vanessa. ‘Where’s the GENIE?’ Rose blanched. The GENIE! It was nowhere to be seen. . .
She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. ‘It must be here,’ she said, desperately trying to convince herself. ‘When it brought you back from the future, it came too, didn’t it?’
Vanessa nodded.
‘And,’ said Rose, warming to her theme, ‘back then, you got separated, didn’t you? So, it’s just gone a bit astray, that’s all.’
Vanessa didn’t seem that cheered. ‘But how will we ever find it?’
she said, gesturing hopelessly at the unblemished infinity surrounding them.
Rose shrugged, trying to remain optimistic. ‘Well, we never will if we just stay put,’ she said. ‘Let’s give it a go anyway. After all, it’s not like it’ll be camouflaged.’
Five minutes later, even her tiny amount of optimism had vanished totally. Rose no longer had any idea if she was going left or right, forwards or backwards, or even up or down. Vanessa was just as disori-entated. The two young women stumbled forwards, tightly gripping each other’s hands, desperately peering into the distance for any hint of colour.
‘There!’ Vanessa suddenly cried, pointing to one side.
Before Rose could protest, she’d pulled her hand away and started off towards whatever she’d seen. Rose tried to follow, but she couldn’t 144
work out how. Somehow she seemed to be moving further away. . .
Within a few steps, Vanessa had gone. Rose called after her, but her voice seemed to sink like a stone, solid, going nowhere, not a trace of echo or vibration.
Rose forged ahead anyway. Her options were to keep moving or stay where she was, and only the moving one had any chance of achieving anything. Eventually, however, she was forced to stop and rest.
She risked sitting down on the nothingness, and then lying down.
She couldn’t say it was comfortable, but it wasn’t uncomfortable either, it was just. . . nothing. There was no sensation of a surface un-derneath her, nothing solid, but she didn’t feel as if she was floating.
As long as she didn’t look down, she could bear it.
She didn’t feel hungry, and wondered if that was something to do with her wish. Perhaps here there was nothing that could harm you –no hunger, disease, men with axes, anything. In which case she would indeed be safe from everything except dying of boredom.
‘Wish I’d brought a book,’ she murmured sardonically.
Crash!
Rose suddenly found herself holding a copy of Kitten’s Garden Adventure by Marian Golightly. It wouldn’t have been her first choice of reading material, but that didn’t matter right now. . .
‘GENIE! GENIE, where are you?’ she yelled. ‘I know you’re there somewhere.’
There was no reply. She got to her feet but stopped, standing her ground, fearful of going in the wrong direction and losing the GENIE
for ever. She sighed. There was only one thing for it.
‘GENIE, I wish you were here with me,’ she said, crossing her fingers as she did so.
The thunder boomed in her head and, to her great relief, the GENIE
appeared in front of her, still in its now rather battered cardboard box.
‘I suppose this was your idea of a joke,’ she said.
‘It was my idea of safety,’ said the GENIE primly. ‘Do you know how many dangers are lurking around you each and every day?’
‘There’ll be a danger lurking around you in a minute,’ muttered Rose. ‘Look, hold on, I’ve got to think. I’m not risking a single more 145
w-word until I have to.’
She sank back down to – to a slightly lower bit of nothing. The GENIE made itself comfortable inside its box, seeming unconcerned at its new surroundings.
And Rose began to think.
So – 1,718,902, that was how many dead people it would take to get Vanessa back to her own time. Nearly twice the population of Rome. Presumably it would take the same sort of amount again to zip Rose herself through time to anywhere. And even if there was that amount of energy, where would she go?
She could wish to return home – to her twenty-first-century home.
Back to Jackie, back to Bucknall House, back to Mickey Smith and a dead-end job. But how could she do that? How could she just abandon the Doctor?
But. . . if the Doctor had never come to Rome in the first place, he wouldn’t have been turned to stone. He’d be out there somewhere.
She could just wish herself back in the TARDIS. . . But what if the Doctor wasn’t there, or what if the stupid wish meant he’d never even met her in the first place?
Hang on a minute. This wasn’t making sense.
If it took a couple of million corpses to travel through time and – as the GENIE had put it – about an eyeball’s worth to magic up a bag of chips, how had the creature managed to warp reality to such a degree on one sculptor and a lamb?
Changing the way the universe worked so the Doctor had never come to Rome.
Regressing a woman back sixty-odd years in time. Rewriting history so Crispus was emperor instead of Hadrian.
Whisking Rose and Vanessa out of time and space altogether.
These were enormous things.
Suddenly her stomach flipped with excitement.
She’d had a thought; a wonderful, marvellous, oh-please-let-it-be-true thought.
She started to speak, but stumbled over her words in her eagerness and forced herself to stop and take some deep breaths. Careless words 146
cost lives – with a GENIE around anyway.
Finally, calm, she spoke to the GENIE. ‘You can travel in time – but that’s just technology. The Doctor said turning people to stone was just technology too. There’s no such thing as magic and you can’t alter reality!’ She was getting excited again, so she stopped for a minute to compose herself before continuing. ‘Let’s take the Doctor first, shall we? You didn’t think that through. Too much for you – or too much of a paradox? Because if the Doctor had really never come to Rome, then he wouldn’t have brought me – we wouldn’t have met Vanessa
– and we certainly wouldn’t all have ended up in that abandoned shrine. You wouldn’t have got your blood – and I wouldn’t have been there to make the wish. It would never have been exactly the same situation, just without the Doctor. . . And I wouldn’t have been able to see outside the wishes. If it were
reality, it would be reality for me too. I wouldn’t remember the Doctor coming to Rome. I wouldn’t remember Crispus being just some bloke and not the emperor.’
She thought some more.
‘You can get inside people’s heads. That’s how you worked out the whole Minerva thing for Ursus. How you knew our names. How you get people to see you as a goddess or a monkey.’
As far as Rose could interpret the expressions of a duck-billed dragon, she thought the GENIE was looking nervous. It didn’t say a word, and she took that as confirmation.
‘I’m right, aren’t I? Which means. . . it isn’t that the Doctor never came to Rome. That makes no sense. You’ve just altered my perceptions so it seems he never came here. You’ve made it so I can’t see the Doctor, so that everyone’s forgotten him. It’s all one big cheat and you’ve just been making up the rules as you go along!’
She paused for breath.
‘I really, really don’t like people messing with my head. I’m not sure where I am right now or where Vanessa is, or whether it’s an illusion or not, but I’m betting it is. And I want out.’
She clenched her fists tight, ready to risk it all on the throw of a dice, her wish almost a prayer.
‘I wish. . . that Vanessa and I were back in the ruined shrine. And 147
not backwards or forwards in time either. And. . . that we could see everything as it really is.’
Rose shut her eyes. The anticipated thunderclap sounded through her head. She wanted to open her eyes, but she wasn’t quite ready to lose all her hopes just yet. Hold on to the illusion just a second more, the illusion that everything would be all right again.
There was a sound: a footstep. Solid ground! A smell: of trees and stone and animals.
A voice: ‘Rose?’
She opened her eyes. There she was, back in the temple. There was Vanessa to one side of her, and, this time, the GENIE still nearby.
And there in front of her was the petrified figure of the Doctor.
She felt like crying. In fact she realised she was crying, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. She grabbed the amazed Vanessa in a hug and then pulled the phial of restorative out of her belt pouch.