She waggled her eyebrows, making me laugh and blush at the same time. “I bet it was.”
Robert stepped inside. He saw Ellie standing with me and smiled. “Thanks for watching the house while we were away.”
She waved him off. “It was no problem. It was strange to be here all by myself again. I’m used to having Claire around.”
“By yourself? But where is Cooper?” I asked before I could stop myself.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. He was gone when I came back from the courthouse. One of his bags and some of his clothes are gone. I’m assuming he went off on another one of those trips of his before he starts school in a few weeks.”
“I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Robert stepped over next to me and threw his arm around me.
“Yes, he always returns,” Ellie said as she looked at both of us. “Well, now that you’re back, I think I’ll head home. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“Have a good evening, Ellie,” Robert said.
Once she was gone, Robert turned to me. “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted. We can get our things out of my car tomorrow.”
I let him lead me up the stairs and down the hall to our room. I stripped out of my clothes and found a pair of pajamas in the dresser. After pulling them on, I walked to the bed and lay down. Robert joined me, pulling me tight against his side.
“Our first night in our own bed as man and wife,” he said.
“It still feels strange when I think about the fact that we’re married. I’m your wife. I never thought my life would turn out like this.”
“How did you expect it to turn out?” Robert asked.
“I thought I’d spend my entire life barely surviving. I never thought I’d live in a house like this, married to a man like you.”
“I saved you, Claire. I saved you from hell.”
“You did,” I agreed.
“Life will never be easy, Claire. When you’re angry with me, remember what I’ve done for you.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, rolling so that I could see him.
“Life with me will be full of ups and downs. I’ll make decisions for you. I’ll guide you to the right choices. I’ll ask a lot from you. Some days, you might feel like you hate me. But remember that you’d have nothing if it weren’t for me.” His tone was cool, condescending even.
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I remained silent.
Robert cleared his throat. “I won’t be around much for the next week or two. Our week away put me far behind at work.”
“Okay,” I said, my mind still on what he’d said.
“What will you do while I’m at work?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll follow Ellie around the house like a lost puppy. Maybe I’ll spend some time with Shelly. I could take her shopping for school supplies and clothes.”
“That’s fine. It’ll keep you busy.”
“For a while. But then what? I don’t want to stay home all the time, Robert. I no longer have a job to go to. I’m going to get bored fast.”
“We’ll figure something out, Claire. For now, get some sleep.” His tone made it clear that our conversation was finished.
I frowned. The Robert I’d spent the week with—the kind, loving Robert—was nowhere to be seen since we’d arrived home. He’d been replaced with a stubborn, arrogant man. It seemed our honeymoon stage had just ended—abruptly.
I bit my tongue. I wanted to tell him that I needed to find another job. Before we’d left for our honeymoon, I’d spent my days being bored out of my mind. I knew I’d feel the exact same way again in a matter of days.
I would make him hear me out—soon. But tonight wasn’t the right time.
I’d barely seen Robert over the past two weeks after our return home. He was right when he’d said he would be working a lot. He would leave before I woke up and return home after I was already in bed. I’d tried not to let it bother me, but it did. I had known he worked a lot, but it felt like he didn’t even live at the house anymore. Loneliness started to creep in, and I worried that this would be my life from now on.
The photos Cooper had shown me weeks before kept flashing through my mind. He’d had his father followed both before and after his mother’s death. He had gathered photos of Robert cheating on Marie along with several of Robert with women after her death. I clearly remembered the day Cooper had shown them to me even though it felt like a lifetime ago.
“Your dad was cheating?” I asked. It felt like the air in the room had been vacuumed out.
“Yes. Look in the envelope.”
I opened it and pulled out several photos. All of them had Robert with women I didn’t recognize. I counted three different women in the photos. In each one, Robert was holding, kissing, and touching a woman in ways that made it very clear what had happened next.
I looked up at Cooper. “Why are you showing these to me?”
“Because you need to know.”
I tried to push away those memories and the doubts they brought. If I didn’t trust Robert, our marriage would never work. Still, it was hard not to worry about whether Robert was working every night or if he was secretly meeting with another woman.
The only blessing I could think of was the fact that Cooper had not returned home yet. If he had been home, he would have tried to push even more doubt into my mind. That was what Cooper did. He would make me want to trust him as he whispered lies and half-truths into my ear. His charisma rivaled even his father’s, and he used it like a weapon.
Even without his presence, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I’d checked his room, and like Ellie had said, only a bag and some of his clothes were missing. He would return. That much was obvious. And that meant I would spend half my waking hours waiting for him to come home, anticipating the inevitable battle that would occur when we came face-to-face again.
Yes, Cooper was gone for now, but he was still very much a part of this house.
I’d mostly spend my days with Ellie. Once she finished her tasks, we would lounge together by the pool or in the kitchen. She was teaching me how to cook. I enjoyed the time I spent with her. I needed it. Her kind and nurturing disposition would help me stay sane. I was pretty sure that Ellie had realized how lost I was at home.
I decided that was probably why she so much time at the house instead of leaving once she was finished for the day. I was sure she had something better to do than hang out with me all the time. Still, she never once acted like she wanted to leave me alone. I appreciated that more than she knew.
On the days when Ellie couldn’t stay at work, I’d find myself aimlessly wandering the house. I’d once marveled at the size of Robert’s home, but I was starting to hate it. I felt too small, too insignificant, in the structure when I was on my own. I felt like the house might swallow me whole, and no one would even notice.
One afternoon, I called Tammy, Shelly’s foster mother, and asked if I could take Shelly out for a few hours. I missed the little girl like crazy, and I needed to escape from my cage for a while. When Tammy agreed that I could come pick Shelly up, I was ecstatic. As soon as I hung up, I hurried to my car and hauled ass across town to Tammy’s house. The moment I pulled up to the house, Shelly ran to my car and climbed in. It seemed that she was just as excited as I was.
My good mood was quickly shattered.
Before I could even get a greeting past my lips, she asked, “Where’s Cooper?”
My hands clenched the steering wheel as I explained that he was out of town. She seemed disappointed that it would just be the two of us. Shelly absolutely loved Cooper. It was quite obvious when they had been together. She looked so sad that I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she would probably never see Cooper again.
Shelly was the one and only thing that was completely pure in my life. Despite growing up in foster care, like me, she was still so kind and innocent. I’d crave her infectious laugh when
I wasn’t with her. She had no idea that, even though she was only ten, she was one of the most important parts of my life.
Before everything had gone to shit between Cooper and me, I’d mentioned to him that I wanted to adopt her. He’d become so angry, telling me that he refused to let a child be around his father and that I should let the subject go. Now that he was nowhere to be seen, I allowed myself think about it again. Having Shelly in the house would mean more to me than Cooper or Robert could ever imagine.
After my day out with Shelly, I decided that Cooper could go fuck himself. I drove home, determined to talk to Robert about Shelly as soon as I had the chance. It finally came two days later.
I looked up from my book when I heard the garage door open. I glanced at the clock. It was barely past seven. Robert hadn’t come home this early in weeks. I felt a small twinge of excitement over the prospect of spending the evening with him.
A few moments later, Robert appeared in the doorway, looking exhausted. He saw me sitting on the couch and walked over to me. He dropped down next to me without a word.
“You’re home early,” I said, pointing out the obvious.
“For once. These past two weeks have been rough. I decided I needed a night off,” he said.
“Well, I’m glad you’re home. While we have a minute alone, I wanted to talk to you about something.” I put my book down and turned toward him. I had no idea when I’d get another chance to talk to him about Shelly. It was now or never.
“What is it?” he asked.
“What I’m about to ask you, I understand that you can’t tell me yes or no right now. It’s not something you can decide on instantly.”
“Claire, what’s going on?” Robert asked, a frown on his face.
“I want to adopt Shelly,” I said quickly before I could lose my nerve.
Silence.
Robert only stared at me.
“I know it’s a big deal,” I rushed on when I realized he wasn’t going to say anything, “but I want you to think about it—for me, for her. I love her, Robert. Every time I take her back to that house, it breaks me. I don’t want to give her back. I want to keep her here with us where she can be happy. I want a front-row seat to watch her grow up instead of a visit once or twice a month.”
Robert shook his head. “Claire, you can’t be serious.”
“I am dead serious.”
“You’re eighteen years old. You really want to be a mother to a child who’s only a few years younger than you?”
“I do. She’s special. You have no idea just how special she really is. If you met her, I know you’d fall in love with her, too.”
“We can’t, Claire.”
“Why not?” I demanded. Why can’t he see how much this means to me?
“Because I don’t have time to raise another child, especially one who isn’t mine, and you’re too young to deal with that.”
“I’ve watched out for other foster kids since I was old enough to understand how fucked up our lives were. I have more experience than most. I can do this, Robert. I know I can.”
“I’m sorry, but no. This discussion is over.”
Robert started to stand up, but I grabbed his arm.
“Just like that? You tell me no and walk away? That’s unfair, Robert! I ask for very little, but when I do, you always push my needs aside. You treat me like a child! I’m tired of it. I won’t let you just shut me down again!”
“Maybe if you didn’t act like a child, I wouldn’t treat you like one!” he said, his voice letting me know just how angry he was.
“Well, you’re the one who married a child. Maybe you should think about that!” I shouted.
Slap.
I gasped and jerked back as my cheek stung. The world stood still for a moment as I tried to understand what had just happened. Robert had slapped me. I stared at him in shock and disbelief. He had hit me.
“At times like these, I’m well aware of the fact that you’re a child, and I’m forced to treat you like one,” Robert said calmly as if he didn’t even care that he’d just hit me.
“Get away from me,” I whispered.
He stood. “I don’t want to hear about this again, Claire.”
Then, he was gone, leaving me with nothing but anger and fear—and a stinging cheek.
I hadn’t spoken to Robert for two days. He was rarely home, except for late in the evenings. Whenever he was around, I’d lock myself in my old room and stay there. I was sleeping in there as well. He hadn’t tried to talk to me. The one time we’d passed each other in the hallway, he hadn’t even looked at me. He obviously knew that I was avoiding him, but if it bothered him, he wasn’t showing it at all. He’d simply pretend that I wasn’t there.
I hated him for that. I was the one who deserved to be angry and hurt. He had slapped me. I’d watched so many of my foster mothers get slapped and much, much more. I’d sworn that I would never allow myself to be around someone like that. Men who hit women were vile creatures. I hated them. I hated Robert. I wanted to lash out at him—kick him, slap him, scream at him—even if it made me just as horrible as he was. But I had done nothing. I knew that if I went after him, he might come back at me tenfold. Robert might be in his forties, but he was strong. I wouldn’t stand a chance if he decided to truly go after me.
So, I hid like the coward I was, keeping myself locked away from him and the rest of the world.
I was pulled from sleep when I felt someone sit down on the bed next to me. Keeping my breathing even, I fought to keep my body from stiffening and giving away the fact that I was awake. I knew that I had locked my bedroom door.
“Oh, Claire. What am I going to do with you?” Robert asked.
I didn’t know, but I had a few suggestions about what I’d like to do to him. I didn’t dare open my eyes or my mouth though. I didn’t want to speak to Robert—not now, not ever.
After a few minutes, he sighed. He rested his hand on my cheek and gently stroked the skin that he’d slapped only days earlier. His gentleness was at odds with what he’d done before.
“I don’t lose control often, but with you, it’s hard. You’re so strong-willed.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my forehead. “You seem to bring out the worst in me sometimes, sweet Claire.”
For several minutes, I continued to pretend I was asleep. Robert didn’t touch me again, but I could feel his presence next to me. I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for me to wake up or if maybe he was lost in his thoughts.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I felt the bed shift as he stood.
“I’ll make you forgive me, Claire. Have no doubt.”
Then, he was gone.
I hadn’t seen Robert for an entire week. After his middle-of-the-night visit, he’d been staying far away from me. I wasn’t even sure if he had been sleeping at the house. He was never home when I went to bed, and I never heard him come home. His car was always gone by the time I woke up.
But I could feel his presence. Each passing day, an arrangement of flowers had been delivered. The card on each delivery had said only one word.
SORRY.
After the fourth delivery, I’d stopped reading them. I’d felt exhausted from just looking at them. He was trying to make me forgive him. If he thought colorful vases filled with flowers would make up for the fact that he’d slapped me, he was sorely mistaken. Things like that wouldn’t just go away because he wanted them to.
I’d let myself become weak around Robert. Every time I’d been angry with him, I’d made excuses so that I could forgive him without causing a fight—he was only looking out for me, he was trying to protect me, he knew best, blah, blah, blah. No more. I was done letting him control me. There was no way he could justify slapping me. That was a cowardly man’s action.
When I’d run from Cooper and straight to Robert, I’d stupidly thought that marrying him would fix things. How wrong I was. It seemed that the honeymoon stage of our marriage had come and gone at warp speed, a
nd now, my life was an utter disaster. Without a doubt, I knew that it would only get worse once Cooper decided to return home.
I’d found myself thinking about him more and more often. I hated that I was actually worried about him. Even Ellie, who he adored, hadn’t heard a word from him in weeks. She didn’t seem concerned though. Cooper was prone to disappearing for a week or two whenever he wanted. That didn’t make me feel better. A small part of me worried that maybe Robert had discovered that Cooper had hired a private investigator to trail him. I didn’t think Robert was a killer, but after he’d hurt me, I couldn’t help but wonder if he would do the same to Cooper. Maybe Cooper wasn’t as unhinged as I’d first thought.
“Claire.”
I tensed at the sound of his voice before looking up. Robert was standing just outside the patio doors, only a few feet from where I was lounging by the pool. I had no idea what he was doing home in the middle of the day.
“We need to talk,” he said when I kept silent. He moved forward until he was near my lounge chair. He sat down on the one next to it. “I know you’re angry with me. You have every right to be.”
I snorted as rage filled me. “I’m so glad you think so. It’s nice to have your approval on how I’m supposed to feel. At least I know you won’t slap me now for disagreeing with you.”
He sighed. “I deserve that and all the anger you want to throw at me. What I did was inexcusable.”
“You’re right. It was. You slapped me, Robert.”
“I know I did. I’m sorry, Claire. I was stressed about work, and I just snapped, but please, you have to believe me. I will never do that to you again. It’s killing me inside. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I could do to make things right with you, and I think I’ve figured it out.”
“And what did you figure out?” I asked. “Nothing in this world can make up for you hitting me.”
“I know that, but I also want to gain your trust back. I’m no fool. I know that it will take time and a lot of effort on my part, but this will be a start.”
Retribution Page 2