by Trudi Kanter
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Contents
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Introduction
Part One: “Hello, Walter”
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Part Two: Swastika Flags
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Part Three: A Fashion Show
Chapter 1
Part Four: The Glass Roof
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Part Five: A Voyage
Chapter 1
Part Six: “Walter, We Must Run”
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Part Seven: A New Life
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Part Eight: The Phony War
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Part Nine: A Letter
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Epilogue
"Seduction and Serendipity" by Ursula Doyle
Readers Group Guide
About Trudi Kanter
Walter, my love. In memory.
Introduction
* * *
Linda Grant
When the Nazis marched into Austria in 1938, welcomed by cheering crowds, Trudi Kanter made an artistic decision in her millinery business. Just returned home to Vienna from a buying trip to Paris, she found that “the mob now had the upper hand . . . Worked up, ordered by their leaders to commit terrible crimes, they did as they were told.” Trudi’s new collection reflected the new reality: she decided she would use more veiling, to hide the sadness in women’s eyes.
That fashion is more than surface, and that it says something about the times those who wear it live through, is an idea Trudi would have readily agreed with. She worked in the fripperies trade, but she understood how a feather or a piece of lace could raise the morale of depressed and frightened women, for she was dodging those terrifying crimes herself from day to day. Trudi Kanter was a witness to history, but she saw it from an unusual angle, that of an ambitious, romantic, sexy, half-Jewish businesswoman in the fashion industry. From such an oblique viewpoint, we can observe how the lives of middle-class women went on or were interrupted by the tectonic plates of the twentieth century, and how some people survived through sheer chutzpah while others went under. For even in Nazi Vienna, she realized, women still looked in the mirror.
In the early 1980s, when she was approaching eighty herself, Trudi Kanter wrote a book, a memoir of her great love story: her marriage to Walter, the love of her life, and how this disciplined, wily woman got the two of them out of Austria to safety in London. It was published by a small press, went out of print, and was forgotten, which seems unjust, for Trudi was a natural writer; her prose fizzes with vitality, energy, humor, and a pinpoint recall of what she regards as beautiful.
Born Gertrude Sturmwind in 1905, the daughter of a Viennese jeweler, by her early thirties she had been married once, in a grand synagogue wedding, and was about to fall in love with Walter Ehrlich, a good-looking man who, after bumping into her on the street one lunchtime, invited her for lobster and champagne. Who was Walter? A successful businessman with matinee-idol looks, “thick, shiny hair, graying at the temples [and] olive skin.” From the word go, Trudi was smitten. On her second date she wore a lilac chiffon dress with her hair up; on the third, he took her to dinner and she put on a white linen dress, white sandals, and carried an emerald green handbag. Walter wore a dark gray bespoke flannel suit, white brogues with black toes, and a white silk shirt.
But for all his charm, Walter had the self-preservation instincts of a dodo. On Trudi’s return from Paris, her ears ringing with warnings that they must leave Austria at once while there was still time, Walter dug in his heels. He wanted time to reflect and consider, and refused to slink out of his country like a criminal. If he left, he told Trudi, it would be with head held high. Later that day, the Germans marched in and the borders were sealed.
Trudi and Walter were fashionable, trivial people. Yet Nazi Austria brought out the best in her: it was she who cajoled, begged, and charmed their way to safety in London, and brought out her elderly parents. None of Walter’s family survived. London, just before the start of the war, seen through Trudi’s eyes, is a drab, impoverished place; nothing like the elegance of Vienna or Paris is found in its prosaic streets. With sharp eyes and excellent recall she notices what everyone is wearing and what is fashionable (“brown, tan, gorse green . . . Nightdresses have changed from pale blue and pink cotton to red and blue floral flannel”), while she tries to find a job to keep her family afloat, eventually negotiating a business partnership for herself. Shockingly, both Walter and her father are interned as enemy aliens, and once again, it is Trudi who campaigns for their release.
Trudi was an only child and had no children. The Jewish Refugee Committee holds records of her arrival in London; she and Walter both became naturalized British citizens and changed their name from Ehrlich to Ellis. We know that after Walter’s death in 1960 she married for a third time, and that her husband, who survived her, died intestate. Even her date of death is unknown, and no copyright holder for her book has as yet been identified. A letter to the Jewish Chronicle by the publishers of this edition produced no responses.
The mideighties was a time before the fashion for the memoir, and before publishers became interested in accounts of the Holocaust by ordinary individuals, so she had two strikes against her. There was, too, I think, an instinctive shrinking away from accounts of the war that did not treat it with the seriousness and solemnity of historians. Trudi must have seemed too shallow, too preoccupied with hats and men to be a sympathetic narrator of the life of the refugee. After all, the émigrés and exiles who flooded to England in the thirties, Sigmund Freud among them, were conductors, composers, poets, publishers, and cinematographers. Milliners were de trop. Her book went down into oblivion. Some readers believed it to be a novel.
And yet one hundred and seven years after her birth, Trudi Kanter seems now to be a heroine for the modern age, successful, independent, smart, and determined. Until the second half of the twentieth century, the fashion and beauty industries were two of the few regions of commerce where it was acceptable for women to play leading roles, to make their mark and be in control. The Parisian design houses were dominated by women (Chanel, Lanvin, Sc
hiaparelli, Vionnet), and Helena Rubenstein, Elizabeth Arden, and Estee Lauder established global brands. It was because fashion was (and still is) regarded as inconsequential that women were permitted to dominate it, and to have the autonomy and decision-making that was closed off to them in other businesses. Trudi thrived because she had chosen a line of work in which she could exercise some power and which transcended national borders. The evidence that at the end of her life she was going to creative writing classes shows that she was unafraid to try something new.
Trudi was a survivor. Her book is also about the appetite for life, for clothes and hats and food and cocktails, sex and furnishings and good company and conversation. She knows that even in the bleak darkness, we feel, love, desire. She left no child (she and Walter tried, with no success); her hats are long lost, but her book is her legacy, discovered once again.
PART ONE
“Hello, Walter”
(Vienna, 1938)
1
Of course I’d seen him before. Many times. In the cafés, bars, restaurants, theaters, concert halls, and beautiful shops of a small city like Vienna, everyone knew who was who, and everyone knew who might one day be more than that.
I lived at a fashionable address: 11 Kohlmarkt, next to Demel, the famous patisserie. One lunchtime, I rushed out of my front door, looked back to wave good-bye to a friend, and bumped into Walter. For a moment, he held me close. Apologies. Laughter. He took my arm.
“We’re going to have a glass of champagne, Trudi. This calls for a celebration.”
It was a command, and I obeyed.
* * *
I am sitting on a gilt chair looking at him across one of the small, marble-topped tables at Demel.
“You’re making hats?” Walter asks. “How’s business? Surely a lady in your position should be in her salon, looking after her clients, not sitting in cafés having a good time.”
“Are you lecturing me? Is that what we came here for? I work very hard—I’m entitled to a break. Anyway, you seem well informed.”
“I’ve been watching you.”
“Sir?” The waitress hands him the menu. Walter takes out his spectacles. “May I order for you, Trudi?”
I love the refined movements of his lips; his thick, shiny hair, graying at the temples; his olive skin. I have seen him glancing at me at the Café Rebhuhn. Once he left early, in a coat that was much too long. He looked pathetic. I think I began to love him then.
“Tell me about yourself. Are you happy?” he asks.
“I’m all right. You?”
“I’m lonely.”
“You?” I laugh. “Lots of girls are after you. You’re never alone.”
“I didn’t say that I was alone. I said I was lonely.”
Our food arrives. Cold lobster, a huge green salad, champagne.
“You are young to have a broken marriage,” Walter says. “I saw you the other day with Pepi.”
“Do you know him?”
“Yes, and I like him a lot. Why do you want to divorce him?”
“Ask me why I married him.”
“Why did you marry him?”
“I thought I was in love.”
2
Demel’s customers were the beau monde—famous, important, rich. It was the place to be seen, to stay au courant. We went for elevenses, delicate snacks and pastries with cream; we went for absinthe or a glass of champagne. We nibbled Sachertorte at any time of day—a chocolate cake so fine that it melted in our mouths. We went to Demel to watch the great and the good, and of course, we went to gossip.
Demel was a place of old-fashioned courtesy. Hands were kissed, heels respectfully clicked. Nobody was ever in a hurry. Sometimes I took customers there or met friends for coffee; at other times I just sat there alone, feeling privileged. I admired the wine-colored carpets and window seats where nests of little old ladies peeped out at passersby. Most important! Because everybody knew everybody, and it was delicious to know who was walking with whom.
I was here again, with Walter. The blue silk-covered walls seem bluer, silkier. The richly draped brocade curtains seem more sumptuous. The pair of large antique blackamoors in their niches smile at me. Sparkling crystal chandeliers fairy tale the room.
I wanted him. I was very young, and I had never wanted anything so much. He was a successful businessman. His apartment was elegant and comfortable; he had a beautiful motorcar. I felt inadequate.
He said that he would ring the next day.
I waited by the window. Opposite was the building of the Vaterländische Front, Austria’s nationalist party. It looked like any of the other large solid old buildings surrounding it. Anyone threatened by the Nazis felt it offered some protection. Not that the Vaterländische Front was on our side, exactly. But my enemy’s enemy . . .
I wandered from room to room, thinking how lucky I was to live in this beautiful building. It had four floors, each one divided into two apartments. The ground floor was occupied by Hiess, a large luxury store. I rented both the apartments on the first floor. The one overlooking Kohlmarkt I had chosen for my home; the one at the back was my business premises. I had a hat salon with adjoining workrooms. Biedermeier furniture, silver-gray walls, curtains, and carpets. Three large, Chinese red, lacquer-framed mirrors. On the center table stood a round, white and gilt cage housing two lovebirds. The room was bright with sunlight. I could hear thunder in the distance. But who cared?
What if he doesn’t ring? Is it true he has a girlfriend? Doris shouldn’t have mentioned it. I pushed the thought away, but now it is back again, threatening me.
It is already six. I lift the receiver and put it down again. I pace my sitting room, cursing my friend, cursing Kohlmarkt, cursing Demel. I thought that I was attracted to him, sexually and otherwise, but it is more than that. Much more.
Suddenly the telephone rings.
Next day I meet Walter in a small café, one of those lovely old-fashioned hideaways, a tiny, red-plushed place with lots of mirrors and no daylight. I wear a lilac chiffon dress; my hair is piled high.
Walter walks toward me. He smiles.
Tonight he will take me to dinner. I put on a white linen dress, white sandals. I carry an emerald green handbag. My red hair is held back by an emerald silk sash, tied at my neck. Its loose ends move in the wind.
Walter wears a dark gray bespoke flannel suit, handmade white brogues with black toes, a white silk shirt, a tie. No doubt all of this came from Knize, his tailor. How handsome he is.
He drives me in his open-top car to have dinner at a little restaurant in the Vienna woods. We sit in a garden, under old chestnut trees. Red and white gingham tablecloths, candlelight, icy white wine in carafes. He orders a liter of Riesling. The wine is very potent, very dry; the food is exquisite. Two blond peasant boys in lederhosen play the zither. They sing songs of love, of eyes, mouths, girls. If you don’t like my blue, blue bed, all right, that’s fine / There are other girls like you / They’re pretty too.
His hand holds mine under the table, reaches for my knee. Summer breeze. The smell of wood, of pines, moss, living and dying. I like his choice of wine and food, the way he makes the waiters dance around us. The way he handles the night and me and the car. In the twilight his eyes are purple velvet.
From time to time moonlight breaks through. Tree trunks are overgrown with moss. Fallen leaves and twigs crackle as we drive through the dark, pine-scented wood. The birds have gone to sleep. I feel calm, sheltered, his arm around my shoulders.
A deer leaps over the shrubs, sweeps past us, stops, pirouettes, then elegantly dances up a hill and disappears. Walter stops the car. Was it a vision? We look at each other and smile.
Suddenly there is light, as if someone with a long taper has lit an old-fashioned gas lamp. Glowworms, yards of them close together on moss, form an illuminated carpet. A few yards away, another carpet, and another.
“It’s magic, Walter. I have to see it close.”
Worms, hundreds of them—fat little
phosphorescent worms, motionless. Cold white lights.
“Why are they here? What makes them lie like this?”
Walter takes my hands. Silent, unsmiling, we stand close to one another, filled with longing. He runs his fingers through my hair. He knows how to kiss. A breeze weaves through the branches of the old trees. Leaves shiver.
* * *
I stand undressed in my blue bedroom, full of warmth and the ecstasy of young love. That night was crammed with excitement, shreds of sleep. He visits my dreams. Kisses fly in all directions. I try to catch them with my green butterfly net.
* * *
The first time you came to No. 11, you were very shy. I wanted you to feel at home. I had straightened the rugs, again and again. They moved if they lay on top of a fitted carpet, always in the same direction. I had polished the candlesticks. On the windowsill were the red roses you had sent me. I thought that it might look too obvious, and I put them on the table. I turned off the lights and opened the windows wide. It was a warm night. The gaslight of the streetlamp turned your roses crimson.
You sat on the sofa, ill at ease, looking at me. I, in the armchair, far away, longed for you. We drank wine; I wasn’t used to it. I moved closer to you.
* * *
After you died, I kept your wardrobe locked, with all your clothes inside, all your lovely ties. The scent of you. I sat inside this wardrobe when I missed you so much.
3
More and more frightening news filtered across the German border. All Jewish money and property confiscated. Concentration camps. Torture. I don’t believe it, I lied to myself.
In love with a city? Yes. I was in love with Vienna, where I was born. Its calm, its charm, its old houses, every corner of every street. Even in the early thirties, when many Viennese were poor and unemployed, I found its magic irresistible. So did Walter.
One summer day he came in his car to show me the sights of imperial Vienna. I didn’t want to go. It was unbearably hot. But he stood there, so eager, his eyes shining. I put on my walking shoes and a cool cotton dress.