The heads all turned to examine him. He received waves of love. He’d shifted and they knew it, but they didn’t care. He was Jared, even if the body changed, and they liked him.
He was Jared. Jared and only Jared. He threw on a shirt, some underwear, his shorts. He grabbed his Big Book. He wanted to text Kota, he wanted someone to reassure him that he hadn’t just cracked his skull open and let the crazy build a nest behind his eyes and tiny condos in his brain so all of crazy town could have free, affordable housing.
The thing from the wall slithered behind him as he went back to the kitchen to try to make himself coffee again. It stayed out of kicking range as he struggled with the Bodum. He heard the fireflies snapping in the hallway. Jared ignored the whispers, the cold flashes and the quick, darting things in the corners of his eyes. The water boiled. He tipped the water from the kettle into the Bodum, splashing hot water everywhere. He dropped the kettle and jumped back. The thing slid around like an eel, whipping in ways a human-shaped body shouldn’t.
He clumsily cleaned up his mess on his hands and knees. He wanted to curl up on the floor, but he rinsed the dishcloths in the sink, gave up on making himself a coffee and stumbled out of the apartment, no keys, no wallet, and headed to the church where he knew an open meeting would be. David could set him on fire. David could kick him to death. Jared didn’t want to see the shit he was seeing anymore. He wanted what he’d had before, as close to normal as he’d ever gotten. He was early, so he sat on the steps, hugging his knees, watching the thing watch him from the bushes, sad and resentful waves of loneliness radiating towards him.
He was afraid there was no path back to normal. Normal was a line so far away it was a dot in the rear-view mirror. A flyspeck as small as his remaining hope that once he sobered up, he could live in the world and have his biggest worry be bills and passing his courses with decent marks.
* * *
—
He turned his second white chip in his fingers, over and over, reflexively. He sat glumly near the coffee maker, and people came up and patted him on the back and congratulated him for getting back on the horse. They shared their own relapses until it was time to clear the room. He was tired, but any last bruises were gone, any breaks, any cuts. He’d healed himself without realizing it and that left him cold.
Jared didn’t want to go back to the apartment and deal with the ghosts and spirits and the walls with their spells. Maybe it was time to strike out on his own. Maybe this was a sign that he needed to avoid all things supernatural. Everything. Find the most ordinary place to live and never, ever leave.
But he didn’t feel like sleeping in the bushes. He downed his coffee before he walked home, not bothering to watch out for David. Dude had done his worst. The place where that fear had lived had been bulldozed over by a new fear.
You’re a Trickster, a little voice reminded him. His own voice. No other.
I could be, Jared thought, if I wanted it. If I let go.
He still wanted to finish upgrading, though. And he still wanted a quiet life. Flying was okay, but the rest of it was annoying.
He clenched his chip. Death grip. Literally white-knuckling his first night of sobriety.
Mave’s apartment was lit up. The windows were open and Jared could hear laughter. His aunt waved to him from the balcony. He waved back.
Ironic and typical. He’d finally found a place where people liked him, welcomed him, and it was the one place he should avoid if he wanted to stay sane.
* * *
—
Jared slipped in the front entrance when another tenant opened the door. He was going to have to tell Mave he’d lost the keys. God. David had the keys. He took a deep breath. Which, maybe, didn’t mean as much as it used to now that Jared could flap away from him. God. He was such a freak.
Mave had ordered pizzas, which had attracted the Starr brothers. They avoided the vegetarian pizza but tore through the meat-lover’s. Jared heard the thing in the wall slithering in the bedroom. He listened to the ghosts and spirits hiding just out of sight. He caught Mave watching him, and realized he must be acting odd. None of them seemed to notice the painted murals were alive. He wished they’d stop, and they did.
Normal, normal, I’m normal, he told himself.
“Are you all right?” Mave said.
He nodded.
Halfway through supper, Neeka buzzed the intercom. Jared said he’d meet her in the lobby, but she insisted on coming upstairs.
The guys hooted, pounding the table.
“Grow up!” Jared said, his heart rate increasing. He started to sweat, hoping, desperately, that she wouldn’t see that he had become, he might be…non-human.
“Boys,” Mave said, raising an eyebrow. “Behave.”
When she knocked, Jared let her in. She was wearing her jogging gear, her hair in a high ponytail.
“Where is he?” Neeka said.
Meaning, of course, Wee’git. Jared wondered how much of the alley incident he’d been broadcasting. “Did you hear him?”
“He was close. I pray he wasn’t tormenting some innocent.” Jared said, “Are you sure it was him? Maybe it was another Trickster.”
“His energy signature is unmistakable.”
“Hello!” Mave said, leaning over in her chair to peer down the hallway. “I’m Jared’s aunt, Mave. Are you hungry? We have pizza.”
“Hello,” Neeka said. “No, thank you.”
She pushed past Jared to stand near the table. Pat and Sponge stumbled over themselves offering her their chairs. Pat sat on the back of the couch so Neeka could sit at the table. Before she sat, Neeka held her hand out for Mave.
“ ‘We hear the ocean in our dreams,’ ” Neeka said, “ ‘our cages of blood and bone sing her songs. Exiled on shore, our tongues caress the lost words we no longer understand, her language of salt and surging.’ ”
Mave seemed flustered, but also pleased. “Thank you. I’m flattered.”
“You found the words for what we feel. We curse your enemies, Mavis Moody.”
“Oh. Well, then, um…”
“May they rot in hell.”
Mave’s smile grew strained. “Are you in school with Jared?”
“We’re kin through his father.”
“Who’s your mother?”
“We haven’t done any tests,” Jared said, still uncomfortable with the lie. “It’s not official.”
“I’m Neeka Donner,” she said to them, and then turned back to him. “Jared, I need your blood.”
He let her lift his wrist, smiling as everyone watched them, completely confused, pretending he was okay with her flicking a Swiss Army knife and drawing a thin line of blood that she blotted with a handkerchief. Mave’s eyes went even bigger. Sponge lifted his phone and took a picture.
“Do you want to be there when we confront him?” Neeka said to Jared.
Jared shook his head.
“Thank you.” She kissed his cheek, and then turned her head to the others. “Lovely to meet you all.”
After she left, Mave and the Starr brothers were momentarily silent.
Then Mave said, “Neeka seems…intense.”
Sponge whistled. “That was the closest I’ve come to banging a supermodel.”
“Dude,” Jared said. “That’s so wrong.”
“She can bleed me any time,” Pat said.
When the brothers had gone, Mave sat beside him on the couch. “Can I ask what that was about with Neeka?”
Jared shrugged. “She’s…artistic.”
“Ah,” Mave said. “Are you all right?”
“It wasn’t deep or anything. Just a scratch.”
“Oh, sweetie. I mean emotionally.”
“I’m okay,” Jared said. “Just…lots of changes. And I…I had a slip. This is Day One.”
Mave hugged him. He rested his head on her shoulder.
“What you’re doing is hard and courageous,” she said. “Tell me if I can do anything, okay? I’m here.”
/>
He fought crying. He fought breaking down. They held each other until Jared felt something easing in his chest, a kind of hope.
“I quit the Donut Hole,” Jared said as he sat up. “I’m going to cut back on things. Refocus.”
“Good,” she said. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“Thank you,” Jared said. “For everything.”
“You sound like you’re saying goodbye,” Mave said. “You don’t have to leave. I’m not kicking you out.”
“I’m counting my gratitudes.”
“Then I’m glad I’ve moved over to your plus column,” she said. She made tea and they sat on in the living room in silence. He didn’t know what was going to happen now. He had no experience with transforming. He thought then of Granny Nita, and her absolute certainty that he was Wee’git when he was little. She’d known before anyone else, and he’d bet that she could tell he’d shifted. Another relationship that was done. She hated Wee’git.
He didn’t feel supernatural. But he remembered flying, and not like a dream. He still felt his feathers under his human skin. He was earthbound by choice. But he wanted to soar again. Once you tasted flying, how did you stop? How did you walk around on your legs?
Jared had gone to bed, but he couldn’t sleep. He lay there watching his mobile spin in creaky circles. The thing was curled up at the foot of the bed, growling at the other things that tried to drift towards Jared. He recited the Serenity Prayer to try to calm himself.
Dent came through the ceiling, tugging Shu behind him. She was a wisp, a puff of steam, a suggestion of her former self. Her eyes were closed. Her expression, serene.
“Get,” Dent said to the thing curled near Jared. “Go on! No one wants you here!”
“He’s keeping the other ones away,” Jared said.
“Damn. Blech. So creepy.”
“What happened?” Jared said.
“She cursed Aiden,” Dent said. “I don’t know what to do. It was a big curse. It took the stuffing out of her.”
Shu pulsed to an unseen current. Dent tugged her wrist, pulling her down.
“Maybe we should feed her,” Jared said.
“Eliza tried. Shu’s not eating.”
“Oh,” Jared said. “Is the kid okay?”
Dent shook his head. Shu vanished, and Dent went after her, but only Dent came back. Maybe it was her time. Maybe her family was waiting for her. But what about Eliza?
“Shu,” Jared said.
Shu floated into and then out of view.
“Maybe Huey can help. Or the floating heads.”
Dent moaned. “That’s a really bad idea.”
“I don’t think the floating heads would hurt her.” Jared struggled to get off the bed. Dent watched him, shaking his head. Moving hurt. Dent snagged Shu’s foot and towed her towards the bedroom wall.
The painted faces mouthed, Hello, Jared! All cheery and bouncy, rolling through the walls like tumbleweeds.
“Hey,” Jared said. “This is my friend, Shu. Do you guys know how I can help her?”
They stopped rolling and all floated to one wall. They stared at Shu, vibrating.
Shu sank slowly into the painted city in the floor. Dent tried to hold on to her, but she sank down until she was the size of an AA battery. Dent stuck his hand through the floor, then gasped and yanked his hand back as if he’d been stung by a wasp.
“Shu,” Jared said. “Shu!”
Her tiny figure waved and she skipped through the streets. Dolphin people formed a ring around her and Jared wished she’d come back, but instead she started dancing with them.
“This is so much worse than before,” Dent said, hand covering his mouth.
“She’s alive,” Jared said. “Or, you know. Less dead.”
“The room, you idiot!” Dent said. “Do you understand what’s happening?”
“Shu’s okay.”
“She’s in another universe!”
“Relax. She’s in the floor.”
“Which is another universe! You have a pocket universe in your floor! Interdimensionality is not good, Jared! Not good!”
“Chill, okay? Shu’s better.”
“Oh, my God!” Dent said. “Jared, universes are separate for a reason! When the boundaries break down, you have chaos!”
“But she’s dead,” Jared said. “Aren’t ghosts supposed to be interdimensional? I mean, I’m not sinking through the floor, right?” He stomped a couple of times. “I’m not floating through the wall, right? The rules are still there. Just not for you and Shu.”
Dent studied the faces and then the city in the floor. “She looks like she’s having fun.”
“Shu!” Jared shouted. “Come back now!”
Jared had to sit on the bed, suddenly dizzy. The shadow thing tried to come through the wall, but the floating heads butted against it like angry goats until it slunk away.
Dent squatted down, his eyes following Shu as she danced through the city. The faces in the wall watched them quizzically. Jared felt the room do a slow spin. He wanted a glass of water but not enough to get up. His bed was comfy. If he could swing his legs up, life would be perfect.
“I don’t want to leave Shu there,” Dent said.
Shu floated up. The closer she came, the larger she got. By the time her hand came through the floor, she was normal-sized. She wanted to show him what she’d seen, what she was hearing. Dent swallowed loudly.
“Boldly go,” Dent said.
“Dent! Shu!” Jared said. “Wait! What the hell! Both of you stay here!”
Dent took a loud, shaky breath then grabbed her wrist. She pulled him down and he squeaked as his head went through the floor. His body was sucked through with a whoosh. He turned and waved to Jared, excited. Dent tried to yell something at him, but no sound came through.
Dent and Shu spun down, holding hands, like a maple seed helicoptering through the air. They shrank as they descended. Jared watched them land, and then the dolphin people circled them and stuck them on a chariot, parading them across the city, out of Jared’s sight.
He leaned over and wished them back. The dizziness increased, and he felt himself listing, but was stopped by a warm, gentle wind that lifted him up and laid him on his bed.
The faces in the wall assumed their positions and went still.
38
Mave woke him up by shaking his arm. “Morning,” she said.
“Mmm,” Jared said, squinting at the window. “Is it?”
“It’s almost noon. I’m going to Vancouver General Hospital. Aiden got into a bad car accident last night and the doctors called the family to discuss organ donation.”
Jared sat up, reaching for his clothes.
Mave shook her head. “You have your own stuff to deal with,” she said. “I just wanted to let you know I’ll be there with Olive and Eliza. Don’t feel bad about missing class.”
“Damn,” Jared said, struggling with his T-shirt.
“Jelly Bean,” she said. “Focus, right? Sobriety first.”
“How’s Eliza?”
“Heartbroken. Just when they were finally free of him, too. Call me if you need anything.”
“ ’kay. Bye.”
She kissed his cheek and left the room. Dent and Shu banged on the other side of the floor, waving to grab his attention.
“Crap,” Jared said.
He heard his aunt talking to someone on the phone and then he heard her heel clicks and, finally, the opening and closing of the apartment door.
Help, Dent mouthed.
Shu, at least, looked more lively than she had when she entered weirdoville. She hovered just under the floor, giving him puppy-dog eyes. The little universe below them was crowded with dolphin people. Jared sat on the floor and tried to stick his hand through. He met floor. Solid floor.
The thing crept close but stayed out of reach.
“Can you help them?” Jared asked it.
Jared sensed its pleasure that Dent and Shu were stuck in another dime
nsion. He felt its smug satisfaction. It snickered, a sound like dry leaves being blown across the frozen ground.
“God,” Jared said. “Take a hike, creep.”
It crept back to its corner, glaring at Jared, radiating hurt and feelings of being unappreciated. It crawled through the floor and the room instantly filled with spirits, top to bottom, a crowd so thick the hair on his body stood on end. Jared sighed. He had no idea what to do. Sophia was enjoying Portugal. His mom would take care of this crowd if he asked her, which was great, but she did not like the dead. Period. Full stop. She was not going to help get Dent and Shu back. She was not going to understand that Dent was a good, free tutor or that Shu protected Eliza.
Instead, she would make sure the apartment was thoroughly purged, which would leave Dent and Shu trapped where they were. Or blasted out of existence.
Maybe Aunt Georgina could help them. Even if his guts didn’t like her, she had written in her letter that she could help him if he got in over his head with magic. He watched Shu and Dent trying to push through the floor. It wasn’t like he had a lot of options. If she turned out to be terrible, he could call in Neeka as a last, last resort. He dialed Aunt Georgina’s number. She picked up on the second ring with a cheery hello.
“Hi,” Jared said. “Sorry. I’m…having…I have, I mean, I, thank you, you know, for the money. Is this a bad time?”
“I’m old and bored,” she said. “I’m glad you called, Jared.”
He didn’t know how to start. “I’m…I’m having ghost issues.”
“Are you seeing them now? Is it serious?”
Jared hesitated and cleared his throat.
“Never mind,” she said. “You wouldn’t call if it wasn’t. I’m babysitting Cedar today. I’ll have my grandson with me. To be clear.”
“That’s okay,” Jared said.
“What’s your address again?”
Jared gave it to her, and she repeated it back to him carefully. He could hear something breaking in the background, the tinkling of glass. Aunt Georgina hastily said goodbye before the phone clicked off.
“Okay,” Jared said. He looked down in the floor to Shu and Dent. “Hold on.”
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