by Heaton, Lisa
Rolling her eyes, she said, “Of course I’m talking about Hailey. Why don’t you want me to go in with you?”
He reached for her hand. “I just don’t want to rub you in her face. That’s all. She’s a nice lady.”
“Oh.” Chelsea suddenly felt really stupid and looked back toward her car, wishing she hadn’t come.
“Why do you feel this urgent need to go in with me?” Surely she wasn’t jealous, but that’s exactly what it seemed.
Tears sprang to her eyes. “I’m afraid you’ll see her and regret choosing me.”
Still leaning against his truck, he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair. “There was never a choice. It was already you. It was always you.”
She wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly. “Nothing has been right, and since then, we seem broken. I need to know you still love me like you used to. I need you back. I’m terrified you regret marrying me and even more terrified of losing you. As much as I deserve it, please don’t leave me.”
Grasping her by the shoulders, he moved her back. “You’ll never, ever lose me, not like that, anyway. I could never leave you.”
He sighed, guilt creeping in over the fact that he had done most everything wrong over the past months. “Forgive me for being an idiot. If I made you think that was ever a possibility, then I’m the biggest idiot in the world. Chelsea, sweetheart, you’re it for me. You always were. If you don’t know that by now, then I’m not doing something right.”
She sighed softly and said, “I’m going to say this for the last time. What you heard that day is not what I felt then or now. It was a moment of something…I don’t know what, a moment of being lost or of falling. Whatever it was, it wasn’t true. It wasn’t an accurate portrayal of my heart. I am so… full of love for you that my heart may burst. I literally ache inside.” She stepped back into his arms and whispered, “If you can’t believe that, if we can’t get past what you heard, then I’m afraid for us.”
It was only a second’s hesitation, but it may as well have been a day. In her attempt to tell him she was so in love with him, she couldn’t bring herself to. No matter what it took, he was determined to hear those words someday.
Gripping her so tightly that she sighed, he promised, “Never be afraid for us. I’ll fight to my last breath for you.” He kissed her cheek and added, “I never, ever doubt your love for me. We are past this. Believe me and never be afraid for us again.”
Nodding, she began to cry. “This has been an awful eight months, and I know it was all my fault. From now on, I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to regret loving me and waiting for me.”
“Nothing has ever made me any happier than you being my wife. And this past eight months has been far from your fault.”
After a minute more, grinning rather sheepishly at her ridiculous display of jealousy, she headed back to her car. As Tuck walked toward the bank, she moved her first two fingers to her eyes then pointed them at him and back again, warning, “I’ve got my eyes on you.”
Tuck chuckled at her. Never had he seen her any cuter than she was that day. Jealous, who would have thought it?
Leaving the bank with the loan paid in full felt like the weight of a truck lifted from his shoulders. The amount he borrowed had slowly grown over the past couple of years. At first, he only borrowed to pay for extra help. Then, once he had turned any profit, he paid it down. Eventually, though, it began snowballing out of control. When he started pulling out money for the new house, it was only a matter of time before the credit line was at its limit and there wasn’t enough income to pay it down. Thankfully, he would never have to worry about that again. Actually, as far as money went, he would never have to worry about anything again. The extent of his worry would now be what to do with such a ridiculous amount of it. His first priority was Chelsea and the girls, then Chelsea’s family. He had some ideas.
When he slid into the driver’s seat of his truck and reached for his phone, he saw that Chelsea had already texted him. It said, No regrets, right? He sighed heavily. Lord only knew how much he loved that woman. Texting back, he assured her, Never any regrets. Just that it took so long to finally claim you.
Tuck dialed Irene, who answered immediately. “So, I have a plane, huh?”
“You certainly do.”
Irene grinned. Tuck reminded her of Chelsea in those early days, particularly when she called to ask what to wear to a gallery opening.
“How do I go about getting it here so I can take my wife somewhere?”
“You don’t. I do.”
Tuck thought about that. She really would be his right hand. That might take some getting used to.
“Any ideas where I might take her?”
“Warm or cold?”
“I don’t care. As long as it’s not somewhere he’s taken her.”
Irene felt sorry for Tuck. John was indeed a hard act to follow. “I’ll come up with something.”
“I think it needs to be pretty spectacular. We never really had a honeymoon.”
“From what I hear, it was the honeymoon any girl would dream of.”
Chuckling, he agreed, “Yeah, complete with port-o-potty. How about something a little classier?” He thought about it a minute and added, “I want to make her feel like a princess, so that spectacular.”
“I can do that.”
He thought for a second before admitting, “I’m not exactly cultured. I don’t want to go somewhere where I’ll feel like an idiot. I only speak English.”
Irene was again reminded of Chelsea. Tuck and Chelsea were so much alike, meant for each other even. Irene sighed, missing John. This was what he knew was best for Chelsea, and Irene agreed completely, but still, knowing how John loved Chelsea, there was something that made her a little sad as she set out to impress Chelsea for Tuck. No matter her deepest feelings, though, she would do everything in her power to help Tuck. She would make certain he and Chelsea had the honeymoon they deserved.
“Tuck, I’ll make sure it’s a place where you feel comfortable, both of you. What matters most, adventure or alone time?”
He scratched his head. “I don’t know, maybe a little of both.”
“I’ve already got ideas. I’ll let you know.”
“So really, I pay you enough to do all this?”
“The amount is obscene.”
“Good. You seem to deserve it and maybe some flowers too.”
“Sounds good to me. What kind shall I send me?”
“Do you like orchids?” They were his mother’s favorites.
“Love them.”
“Go all out.”
This conversation sealed the deal. He really did like this Irene.
“One final thing, I need to change banks. I’ll switch to where Chelsea banks.”
“I’ll handle that today. Anything else?”
“No. Just thanks.”
“You’re very welcome. I’m here whenever you need me.”
“Oh, I have a feeling I’ll need you. We need all kinds of stuff for the new house. Willing to come out for a while?”
“More than willing. Actually, I’ve considered moving out there.”
With all he had in mind for the future, that didn’t sound like a bad idea, so he admitted, “Sounds good to me.” Then added, “Know anything about homeschooling?”
“Not a thing, but I will by tomorrow.”
“You are worth an obscene amount of money.”
“I know.”
Irene was already making travel arrangements while they spoke. First order of business was to trade in his plane. There was no way in the world she would put Chelsea and Tuck on John’s plane. They needed a brand new start, and she would see to it that they got it.
When Tuck arrived home, the girls acted as if he had been gone all day. There was something
new in the air, this sense of excitement as if even the girls knew all was new. Since things had taken such an ugly turn between Chelsea and him, the girls had seemed a bit unsettled. Of course they noticed the strain early on, and even when things appeared better, they still knew something wasn’t right, especially Lucy. She asked him on several occasions what was wrong with him, but he denied that anything was. He would never tell a living soul what he had overheard Chelsea say, for the most part because he believed her when she said it was out of context with their daily life. It was obvious that she loved him; no one could pretend to love as deeply as she demonstrated toward him. No matter what, though, it served as a reminder that deep down, further down than she even knew, she still belonged to John. It was more than still loving her first husband or the father of her child; that made perfect sense. Instead, it was that sense of her belonging to another that tore him apart. The bond of being John’s was not yet fully broken.
The afternoon spent together as a family was filled with laughter and happiness, something all too rare over the past months. They rode out to the new house site together and dreamed big. No matter what the girls asked for, Tuck agreed to it. It was okay; he finally had the money to do for his family, and he didn’t see a thing in the world wrong with that, if for no other reason than he had even bigger plans of how he might help others. Free to do both, be extravagant at home and in giving to others, Tuck was quite certain God planned it this way all along. After all the months of stress, not knowing how he was going to take care of his family, he realized that God had it covered all along. Pride nearly did come before a fall. The implications of losing the farm were staggering. He had never considered in his entire life living anywhere else. That day, standing on his soon-to-be front porch, he could look out over the expanse of acreage and be thankful that God had intervened, and that He truly did give grace once Tuck humbled himself. Come to find out, that was all that was ever required.
What struck him most that day, standing in that very place, was the fact that the altar at which he had once bowed down before God had become the idol he most recently bowed down to. For so many years he had considered that place his altar and sought God there, working through some of life’s greatest challenges. Once he actually began to build on that very site, it consumed his life, not just in the physical work, but mostly in his insistence that he build the house for Chelsea. That goal had overtaken him, and the house drove him internally in an unbalanced way, the motivating factor always being the ability to give Chelsea something John couldn’t top. After he let go of that, God provided the way, ironically through John. Humbling for sure, but the outcome would be that Chelsea would have her granny’s house, and thankfully, God would allow it to be through Tuck’s heart and hands, even if by John’s money. He smiled at that last thought. Technically, it was no longer John’s money, it was his. Strange things the Lord had brought about.
Chelsea dragged Tuck from the porch, and they walked hand in hand through the new house. Finally, the dream of their new home was back on track. It would be their place to begin anew, a place where they could create their own memories and leave all the others where they belonged, locked away in a closet. There were not many feelings as good as a fresh start, and that’s what she felt they had been given, a fresh start.
She was relieved and just as excited as the girls were as they made plans. As much fun as they were having dreaming over their new house, eventually Chelsea began putting the breaks on a few outlandish ideas, though. Sara Beth’s idea of a petting zoo in the back yard was the first she vetoed. One she embraced fully was Lucy’s idea for Sara Beth’s over-the-top cowgirl bedroom. When Lucy suggested it, Chelsea looked at Lucy with such a tender expression on her face. They both remembered the excitement of having a bedroom filled with your favorite things. Chelsea winked and smiled at Lucy, and Lucy winked in return. John had a great idea that they would borrow for his daughter.
After he talked with Irene about travel, Tuck had called Chelsea’s mom to see if she would be willing to keep the girls for a few days, maybe even a week. They had never had more than that one night alone, and he figured it was high time. Irene hadn’t let him know where they were going yet, so he couldn’t tell Gail, but he promised to keep her posted. Since he was bringing some guys in, he wasn’t worried about the farm. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t worried about anything. He had so many ideas swirling around in his head about how he could keep things running and be involved without having to actually be the one to put in the crazy hours the farm required. For the first time since he had come home from college, he had the ability to do more than tend his own sheep. It was the second part of his life’s dream coming true, the first of course being Chelsea.
Pulling Chelsea aside, Tuck whispered, “I want to get a way for a while. How does that sound to you?”
Chelsea smiled, grateful to see such peace in Tuck’s eyes. She honestly couldn’t recall the last time she had.
“I would love that. Where would you like to go?”
“I don’t know. Irene hasn’t told me yet.”
She chuckled, knowing exactly what he meant. Irene could easily take over before you even knew what happened.
“Wherever is fine with me.” She rested her head on Tuck’s chest. “Thank you for loving me still.”
Wrapping his arms around her, he squeezed hard. “I’ll always love you. Nothing will ever change that.” Lifting her head to look at him, he asked, “You know that, right?”
“I know, but lately, I sure haven’t felt as if I deserve it.”
He sighed. “I hope I’ve never made you feel that way.”
The thought of that caused an ache deep in his heart. The past months, between his jealousy over John and failure with the house, he had been much less of a husband than he would have imagined himself to be. The majority of their months together married were overshadowed and undervalued. “I am so grateful for you, for every moment with you. I know I haven’t acted much like it, but I am. I’ll show you going forward. I’ll get better at this.”
Chelsea had a sudden thought. “What about school? I thought you wanted to begin now.”
“We’ll work that out. It’s just a few days, so including the weekend, it’ll be even less. We’ll ask Caitlin and Macy to help.”
Tuck moved his lips to her ear. “This, us, is the priority right now. For as long as I live, you’ll never have to wonder if we’re okay. You’ll see.”
Chapter 21
Staring at her computer screen, reviewing the details, Irene’s plan for Tuck and Chelsea was about as adventurous and romantic as it got, more so than any trip she had ever scheduled for John and Chelsea. She was pleased with herself and hoped Tuck would be pleased as well. It was what he said about making Chelsea feel like a princess that sparked the idea.
They would be staying in a castle in the south of France. Who knew you could rent an entire castle? Apparently with enough money, you could do most anything. They would be the only guests yet have dozens of servants to cater to their every whim. There was swimming, horseback riding, expansive gardens to explore, and supposedly some of the finest cuisine. Irene hesitated. It was doubtful Tuck would think too much of French cuisine, so she decided to rethink that one. She would simply bring in an American chef so that Tuck could order something much more familiar to him. They would have their pick of foods without the risk of being left hungry.
Irene considered what Tuck said about not wanting to feel like an idiot, so she ensured that the staff there spoke English. In case they wanted to drive in to the city, she arranged transportation and a translator. All in all, she thought such a trip was about as spectacular and as princess-like of a getaway as one could find. Honestly, she wondered how she might top such a thing in the future. There was nowhere to go but down from there.
Immediately, upon arriving at the airfield Chelsea noticed the plane was different. Smiling to herself, she didn’t put
it past Irene to consider such a thing and ensure there were no memories to contend with. The woman was truly that astute. This time, it was Chelsea who would enjoy seeing Tuck experience a new way of life for the first time. Watching his expressions and reactions to having his own plane was priceless. He was like a kid, kind of like Preston when John allowed him to tour the plane for the first time. It must be a guy thing, as near as Chelsea could figure, this fascination with all things mechanical, cars, planes, and trains. Whatever it was, Tuck was just like the rest of them. The first part of their romantic getaway together, Tuck spent in the cockpit with the pilots.
When he finally did come back and take his seat, he was grinning like she had never seen. He was beyond happy. All morning, he had been overjoyed about the trip. Even Sara Beth’s pitiful pleading to go couldn’t sway him. Each time she would beg, he would explain how important this trip was to them and assure her they would be home soon. Eventually, Sara Beth gave up and kissed him goodbye but made sure they knew she wasn’t happy about it. While he wouldn’t tell Chelsea where they were going, he assured her that if they enjoyed themselves as much as he anticipated, then they could take the girls the next time. Just before falling asleep the night before, he told her he didn’t want to be one of those couples who vacationed without their kids. This case was an exception, though. He remained determined that they would have their time alone.
The flight was long, leading Chelsea to believe that they were flying internationally. After several hours, Tuck told her she might as well settle in and rest. How could she when she was so excited? Taking care not to compare, she couldn’t help but remember how exciting it was to be heading off to some exotic destination with John. Now, she was able to do something similar with Tuck, but this time, because of his excitement over the surprise, the trip was even more thrilling. At one point, he leaned his head over on her head rest and grinned as he reminded her how much he loved her and how their lives could always be this exciting if she wanted. That was exactly what she wanted, their lives to be full of adventure and surprises. Most all of Tuck’s life he had done nothing but work on the farm, same life, day in and day out. She wanted to watch him finally follow his dreams, whatever they may be.