by Logan Castle
The sky was covered in a thick blanket of white, and clouds upon clouds covered most of it like a fine down comforter. All, that is, except for the one spot where my eyes were inexplicably drawn – a spot directly above me. Against the sea of white formed a giant, seemingly flawless and symmetrical circle where the sky was filled with rich hues of reds and dark oranges, making it appear as though the sky behind the clouds was on fire. I trained my eyes squarely on that cylindrical opening.
So, this is a Skypunch. Gazing upon it, what sounded at first like a rather bizarre name to call something suddenly made complete sense to me. This doorway into the clouds looked like it could have been an opening to the heavens, or perhaps the burning hells themselves. A blinding ray of sunshine shone on the opening and further intensified the colors that were peeking through. It was amazing to behold and strangely terrifying at the same time. I couldn’t break my gaze. It was as if I had relinquished all control of my eyes. As I stared deeper and longer into the growing void, I suddenly felt weightless as if I were floating.
“Isaac?” Plum asked. “What do you think it is?”
Begrudgingly, I ripped my eyes away from the Skypunch to look at Plum. She stood there, so stunningly beautiful that I wondered how I could ever have taken my eyes off her, even for a second. She crossed her arms beneath her heavy breasts and a look of concern contorted her lovely face. She waited and I realized there was still a very pressing conversation due between the two of us.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
“Well, it’s pretty creepy,” Plum said. Inhaling deeply, she lifted her cat eyes up to mine. “You heard what the news said—we should be inside.”
“Yes, you’re right,” I said with a reassuring nod as I followed her, glancing up into the sky again. “I just needed to see what all the fuss was about.”
She nodded and turned around to head back to the car. As she did so, my attention returned to the Skypunch once more. It was exactly as it was before…
No! There’s something else in there. In the eye….
I squinted and stared deeply into the eye of the Skypunch, blinking to keep my eyes from watering. My breath caught in my throat. There was something in there! Something trapped in that immense void. Lines appeared out of nowhere, swirling round and round in an endless loop. Where there was nothing before, I could now see something as plain as day. A spiral, like that on the shell of a snail, was looping in concentric circles until it became too small to see.
“Babe?” Plum’s voice sounded insistent now.
I broke my trance again to look at her. “Coming, babes. Do you see…?” My voice trailed off as I gestured back to the center of the Skypunch. I searched for the spiral so I could point it out to her, but whatever I saw inside the center before had vanished.
I really am losing my mind. It was getting increasingly harder to argue that point.
Feeling suddenly ill at ease, I turned around and avoided Plum’s concerned stare as I got back into the car. We strapped ourselves into our seats and Plum popped the Ford into gear before it lurched forward. As the car gathered speed, I couldn’t help feeling like the Skypunch was following us…me.
The ride home ended exactly as it began, in uncomfortable, awkward silence.
*
It was getting dark when we finally pulled into my townhouse garage. Both of us opened our car doors in a hurry and practically ran inside before hastily ascending the stairs, as if we were in a footrace against each other. The time was quickly approaching for questions to be asked and answers to be given. There was a massive elephant in the room, a dark, ominous cloud that even managed to dwarf the Skypunch. It was just a matter of who would approach whom first. Seeing how I generally avoided any kind of confrontation, it was a foregone conclusion that Plum had to start the fireworks. But I could only wonder when she would find the courage to do so.
It didn’t take long and courage had very little to do with it. Plum became angry. It was obvious in the way she walked, and even the way she breathed. Hell, it was apparent in the way she stood and moved. This woman wore her emotions on her sleeve. She got to me just as I sat down on my bed, ready to take off my shoes. I looked up as she walked in.
“I don’t want to be here with you right now if we’re just going to ignore each other.” It was the perfect setup. She was telling me to either start talking, or she would start walking.
I paused and gave it a second’s thought. No, this must be done. I was tired but Plum deserved answers. Besides, there was no avoiding this conversation. Despite how badly I really wished I could avoid it.
I planned my first response carefully. Now was the time for calm, level-headedness. “Plum, what I said at the hospital.”
She stopped me. “Who was that girl? And don’t try to tell me you don’t know. She obviously knew you.”
I stared at her, blankly. “Plum, you left me alone. On New Year’s Eve. I couldn’t stay home and mope about it. I went to a bar to drown myself.”
“Okay, Isaac,” she started as she nodded, her fiery anger already stewing. “I’m sorry I left you alone on New Year’s Eve but you fucking cheated on me. And with my best friend! And at a fucking Christmas party! So I’m sorry if I don’t exactly feel bad for you!” There was so much resentment in her voice that I could see it pouring out of her eyes. I had to look away in light of her fury. She was every inch a dragon at the moment, although she was also right. “What the hell did you expect from me? There was no way I could spend New Year’s with you! You’d have to be crazy to expect me to!”
I dropped my eyes to the floor and squirmed a little. I tried to play it off like I was readjusting myself to get comfortable but I was aware Plum knew better. I lost this debate before it had even begun. She was right. I had no weapon to defend myself against this onslaught, but it couldn’t stop me from trying. “You didn’t even call me!”
“Fuck you!” she railed back. “Why would I call you?! I wanted nothing to do with you!” Her voice wavered. There was more than anger there now. There was hurt.
“I understand. I know I did wrong,” I instantly realized this conversation should have happened a long time ago. Taking a deep breath, I faced her. “I’m sorry for what I did more than words can possibly say….”
“Well, fucking try!” She cut me off again.
I took another deep, calming breath. Getting cut off was annoying and I could feel my defenses rising. “I made an awful mistake,” I started again as I shook my head, the memories of what I’d done returning to stain my self-image again. “You have no idea how many times I’ve wished I could go back in time and stop myself from doing that! So many times I’ve wished I could have made a better decision, but I can’t travel back in time.”
I was quiet for a few seconds as the memories of that night haunted me again. I couldn’t look at her as I continued. “I would do anything for the opportunity to go back in time and make things right. What happened between Tina and I was wrong on every level and I realize that now—I’ve seen what it’s done to us and how it’s torn us apart. But even knowing how badly I fucked up, and that you have every right to be furious with me, I couldn’t stay home alone on New Year’s Eve. I couldn’t stay here by myself, not while thinking about why I wasn’t hearing from you.”
“So you went to a random bar and failed in your first attempt to resist sticking your dick into the first warm place you could find?!”
That did it. The time for calm passed as soon as she uttered the last word. Anger overtook me then. “Oh, fuck you! You aren’t one to talk!” I yelled in response, momentarily shocking her into silence. “I know what you did on New Year’s!” I continued. “You can’t talk to me about finding someone to stick my cock in when you let some guy do the same fucking thing to you!”
Plum’s face twisted and unreleased anger simmered beneath her delicate features. I could tell that she was ramping up. When she spoke again, her voice would be sharp and h
er words merciless. “You’re right,” she seethed, narrowing her eyes until she resembled a spitfire feline. “I did fuck someone on New Year’s…and, you know what, Isaac?”
I couldn’t answer because I was floored. I wasn’t even sure I was still breathing! “I fucking loved it!!” she yelled at me. She took a step forward and brought the flat of her palm against my chest, pushing me slightly. Even though she was a head shorter than me, she was quite strong. “And if that bothers you, Isaac, I don’t fucking care!” she finished as she sashayed her hourglass figure up to me.
Strangely, I wanted nothing more than to pick her up, throw her on top of my bed, rip her clothes off and eradicate the memory of whatever asshole dared to enter her. “You screwed me over and I wanted to hurt you the same way you hurt me!” she exclaimed. “And you know what else?” she said as she glared up at me, “He was there for me and you weren’t.”
Something snapped inside me then. My blood suddenly surged through my veins. I began to see red. A deep, dark anger suddenly seized full control of me, almost like an outside force. It was so overpowering that I had no strength to hold it back. A small voice inside me screamed out a warning before the rage completely overwhelmed all my senses. I blocked the voice out! I wanted the rage to take over.
“Who the fuck is he?!” I screamed as I gripped her by her arms. “I want to know his name!” My voice, while it sounded like mine, did not belong to me. It was white hot and searing, full of sharp nails and venom. It felt good too. Ordinarily, I was the calm and considerate Isaac. I rarely or never lost my temper.
My tone failed to stop Plum’s anger. She shrugged out of my hold and screamed right into my face, “I don’t fucking care what you want!” She bashed her palm into my chest and although it didn’t hurt, it did manage to further ignite my ire. “You did this to us! You hurt me! And I turned to someone who could make me feel good and that’s exactly what he…”
“Shut your fucking mouth!” I growled at her, surprised by my own ferocity but I was literally seeing red. The entire room, Plum included, was tinged by a crimson hue.
I grabbed her by the shirt and pulled her towards me. Her eyes immediately widened in surprise. For the first time ever, she had no words for me. She was completely caught off balance by the rashness of my approach, maybe even by my strength. Wave after wave of hot blood was pumping through my body.
“Let go of me!” she demanded, bashing her small fists into my chest.
Grabbing her silky, blond hair, I twisted her head so that her face was angled up, forcing her eyes to mine. I towered over her. I wasn’t a big guy by any stretch but standing next to Plum at that moment, I certainly felt like it. At only five feet, four inches, she always had to look up at me. Even without my hand firmly gripping the back of her head as it was now. She angled her face away, avoiding my eyes. I steeled my grip on her hair and yanked her head back up to me. Her eyes shone with fear.
No amount of steadying could have prepared me for Plum’s backhand. One that sent me reeling before I saw stars.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Plum yelled at me as I shook the delirium from my head.
I didn’t know what came over me. Standing there in the middle of my room and dazed from Plum’s vicious blow, I tried to think back to what just transpired. Yes, Plum baited me and I reacted in anger as anyone else would. But the rage that completely overwhelmed me felt…foreign. It wasn’t me; I’d never lost control like that before. Excluding the standard prepubescent mood swings everyone experiences during adolescence and a few other isolated incidents in my early adult years. Anger was always an emotion that I managed to keep on a very tight leash. As I considered it now though, I realized the fury I experienced was similar, although far more potent, to what I felt at the hospital earlier in the day with Plum. In both instances, while in the throes of rage, I felt so liberated and free. As if someone had wrested control of the steering wheel from my hands. It felt… good.
Each time it happened, an alarm sounded from the recesses of my soul. It was trying to forcibly pull me back from the precipice of pure, unadulterated fury. My own will was eclipsed in both instances, which was quite concerning. It wasn’t that I never got angry, far from it. I simply mastered a technique to keep my anger in check without letting it get the best of me. Of course, everyone has a breaking point; but those instances weren’t pushing me to the point of snapping. Not at all.
You’re just exhausted. Your body and mind are overworked. Nothing that a good night’s sleep won’t cure. Boy, did I need one of those.
“Isaac!” Plum shouted, glaring up at me with her hands on her hips.
“I… I don’t know,” I answered honestly and a terrible pounding began at the base of my skull. I had to close my eyes, hoping to ward it away.
Once all the little flashes of light had fully dissipated and my head was cleared, I felt ready to face her again. Despite the ringing in my ears, I could hear footsteps and then her sobs. I opened my eyes and realized she had retreated to the next room and was lying on the bed. I was somewhat annoyed that she didn’t bother to see if I were okay after the haymaker she leveled on me, but I didn’t want to push my luck. Any way I looked at it, I did deserve it.
As I walked towards the doorway of the next room, I saw one of my white T-shirts hanging in the hallway. I grabbed the shirt off the hanger and approached the doorway where I thrust the shirt into the room, careful to keep the rest of my body behind the doorway. I figured anything that could have been thrown in my direction, would have been. No need to give her a target. I waved my arm emphatically and the white shirt fluttered through the air.
“I come in peace. I would like to discuss the terms of my unconditional surrender,” I said. I even managed to include some laughter to ease the process of disarming Plum. It didn’t have the intended effect, however.
“You fucking asshole! Don’t laugh about this! It’s not funny!” she cried through her sobs.
I stuck my head into the room, fully expecting another object to come flying in my direction as soon as she saw the whites of my eyes. But this time, my disappointment was a blessing and no such object flew my way…just the cold, wet stare of Plum.
Probably would have been kinder if she had hit me with something. A shoe even. I gathered my courage and looked directly into her beautiful, blue eyes. “I’m sorry, Plum. I don’t know what came over me,” I started while shaking my head.
“You’ve never been so angry before,” she said and the tears began to flow as she shook uncontrollably. “You scared me, Isaac!”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “I scared myself. I…I don’t know what the fuck is up with me lately.”
“Your eyes,” she continued, her sobs wreaking havoc with her voice. “I’ve never seen you like that—you were just…frightfully angry!”
“I’m so sorry, babe,” I said, meaning every word. “I can’t believe I said what I did to you,” I continued, my shame and guilt flooding my body all the way down to my toes. “And to grab you like I did…” I forced my eyes to meet hers. “I’m so sorry, Plum.”
She just stared at me for a moment. Perhaps she was trying to gauge the sincerity of my words or, maybe, she wanted to make sure that it was really me speaking and not a phantom demon that had just taken over my body. Based on what she’d already witnessed from my behavior, I wouldn’t have blamed her one bit. Finally, she nodded.
“I promise it won’t ever happen again,” I added, taking a tentative step into the room, still unsure if it were kosher for me to fully enter. “I know we’re both exhausted but I think we need to take a deep breath and try to have an adult conversation,” I suggested in a softer tone. “I realize we have a lot to talk about and it didn’t help when I lost my self-control.”
Plum sniffled, a wet, snotty sound. I tried my best not to lose it and break into an ear-to-ear grin.
God, is she fucking cute!
Even when she was a crying mess, Plum always
managed to hold herself together so well. It amused me that something as mundane as a sniffle and the way her nose crinkled upward like a rabbit could manage to make me feel so warm and happy. But that was the way Plum made me feel in general. Like she was my other half and we were destined for each other. She motioned for me to come sit beside her. I hesitated for just a second.
“I’m not going to hit you again, you big jerk,” she grumbled. “I feel bad enough as it is.” Tears again. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she was hormonal. But the truth was, like me, she was just on overdrive.
“It’s okay,” I reassured her. “I’m fine. You didn’t hit me that hard.” That was a total lie. She totally leveled me! She was a strong girl. She went to the gym as often as I did and had the power and strength to prove it.
“Oh, I didn’t?” she asked facetiously, frowning at me. “Should I try an uppercut next time?”
“You’re so damn cute,” I answered as I approached her. I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and kiss her with everything left inside me.
“Well, I’m sorry still,” she said as she rubbed her sleeve across her nose, ostensibly to dry her snot and tears. “I completely lost my shit and it wasn’t right for me to lash out at you like that. So, I guess what I’m trying to say,” she continued with an exhale, “is that I’m so sorry.” She glanced over at me then, adding, “It’s just that you were… acting really weird. I’ve never seen you so furious before.”
“I know. I felt weird too. I totally lost control,” I answered honestly. “Let’s talk though. We both have a few things to say to each other.”
“Agreed.” A split-second pause was all she gave me. “So… who was that crazy bitch at the hospital?” The words tumbled out of her mouth so quickly that I wondered if she were serious about her previous apology. I decided to just let it go though and tell her the story of my night at the bar on New Year’s Eve. I also decided that I would omit the part about the tattoos on my arms moving when I lost consciousness in the bathroom. That would only frighten her and, likely, provide further proof that I was losing my mind altogether…right along with Kelsey.