Alyssa nodded. “Of course. Rest assured that Dr. Frederickson is entirely discreet, as am I, so there’s no need to worry on that account. I’ll just leave the information with your butler.” She hesitated. “But know that you’re welcome to call on me any time should the need arise. I’ll do what I can.”
His lips lifted slightly at the corners. “I know you will.” She thought he might say more, but when he remained silent, she walked away.
As promised, she left the contact information for Dr. Frederickson with Ives and began to make her way across the open lawn. It had just started to sprinkle, but she was impervious to the damp.
Her steps were slow, her mind filled with what she’d just witnessed. She might be carrying the burden of her aunt’s loss, but Travell’s trials were much greater. She knew that it had to be difficult to look at his father struggling in such a manner after he’d been gone for so long.
Alyssa recalled the night of Triana’s ball when a footman had brought a note to Lady Trenton. Her shock had been so great that she’d collapsed right in the middle of the first waltz. The murmurs had instantly started and the look of hurt and betrayal on her friend’s face had nearly been too awful to bear. She knew Triana had been looking forward to this night, as did every young debutante with high hopes of meeting her future husband. Alyssa’s heart had ached right alongside of her, but when she’d located Travell among the chaos to gain his reaction, all she’d noticed was a calm acceptance.
Today had been vastly different.
It had only been a day that he’d been back at Rosewood, and yet, his strain was evident among the lines bracketing his mouth and the dark shadows under his eyes. His father’s madness was bound to take a toll, but Alyssa vowed that she would do whatever it took to help him through the worst.
By the time she made it back to Breyton Hall, her dark hair was hanging in loose, tumbled disarray around her face. The instant she walked in, Caroline was walking through the foyer. She sniffed in disgust when she spied her. “You’re making a puddle on the marble, Lady Alyssa. Surely you didn’t act in such a careless manner in London?” She lifted a brow. “But then, I suppose that would explain why you aren’t yet married.” She crossed her arms and glared at her. “Where have you been?”
Alyssa didn’t care to share Travell’s return unless he showed up on their doorstep, so she said evasively, “I was out walking.” She handed her cloak over to a waiting footman, and without the extra warmth, she began to feel the chill seeping into her bones. She started to head for the stairs. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head to my room and take a hot bath.”
Caroline shook her head, but she went on her way, for which Alyssa was grateful. She didn’t care to converse with her cousin-in-law any more than it took for a polite greeting in the morning and an equally civil farewell in the evening.
As her maid helped her out of her wet gown, Alyssa couldn’t help but think that it was rather ironic that she should enjoy the company of a maniacal earl to that lucid woman.
***
Alyssa considered making her way to Rosewood the next morning, eager to check on how the earl was faring, but also, if she was being completely honest with herself, to see Travell. But she refrained. She didn’t want to make a nuisance of herself, so she went riding instead.
She had her own mare that she’d brought from London, a gift from her Aunt Pearl on her eighteenth birthday to celebrate her debut. She was a lovely, docile chestnut that she’d named Posy, because her aunt had so loved flowers.
Wearing her black velvet riding habit, for the morose color was all she wore these days while in mourning, Alyssa set out even though the clouds looked thick with moisture yet again. Instead of being drawn toward Rosewood, she headed the opposite direction toward the Village of Basildon. While she didn’t require anything, the need to be around other people was like a tangible requirement. She’d lived in London for most of her life, so the solitude of being back here, not to mention the ghosts that went along with it, was rather disheartening.
Alyssa rode among the main thoroughfare of the village, nodding a greeting to those who waved at her. At another time she might have stopped and perused the shops showcasing their wares, but it was the sight of the modest stone church with its bell tower that caught her attention. Alyssa rode toward it, dismounting and tying up her mare to a nearby tree so that she might munch on some grass, as she made her way inside.
At first glance it appeared to be empty, but as she was removing her gloves, glancing about the stone interior with its stained glass windows and wooden pews, a man appeared from around the pulpit. “Good day, miss.” He walked forward and said, “I’m Mr. Josiah Adams, the vicar of Basildon. You caught me working on this Sunday’s sermon.”
He was a middle-aged gentleman with a kind smile and Alyssa found herself at ease, so she offered her name in return. “Lady Alyssa Breyton.”
“Ah. From Breyton Hall.” At her nod, he said, “I heard of your recent loss, my lady. I’m very sorry for it, but as long as your relation’s heart was right with the Lord, she will have eternal life.”
“She was a wonderful lady,” Alyssa returned. In truth, she wasn’t exactly sure of her aunt’s faith, but she had always treated her with nothing but kindness, so she couldn’t believe that she might be anywhere other than heaven singing with the angels.
“Would you like for me to pray with you?” he offered.
She shook her head. “That’s very kind, but I was hoping to have a few moments of personal reflection.”
“Of course. Take all the time you need. I’ll afford you some privacy.” With a brief bow, he left the sanctuary.
Alyssa slid into one of the wooden benches and clasped her hands in her lap. Silence followed his departure, but it was an almost peaceful calm. “I haven’t done this in a while,” she murmured to the empty space. “I used to attend church when my parents were alive, and I’ve been baptized, but I’m not sure that I’ve put much of my faith into practice since then.” She sighed. “I’ve tried to be a good person, but is that enough to gain entrance through the pearly gates?” She stared at the image of Jesus on the cross hanging at the front of the chapel. “I do pray that Aunt Pearl is happy, wherever she is. But I daresay her loss has been devastating for me. I feel like a ship upon the seas, tossed about without her guidance.” She waited, as if he might actually reply to her. “I suppose it’s silly to expect an answer, but I’m grateful if you’re actually listening.”
Alyssa heard the door open behind her and assumed that the vicar had returned. She arose, prepared to leave, but stopped when she saw the figure standing at the entrance to the church. “Travell,” she breathed. She probably should have addressed him by his title, but the shock of seeing him there caused his name to tumble from her lips.
“Lady Alyssa,” he returned. He shoved his hands in his pockets and chuckled lightly. “I see I’m not the only one looking for divine answers this morning.”
“No. You’re not.” She smiled. After a brief pause, she asked, “How is Lord Trenton today?”
His expression fell. “He had a… rough night.”
“I’m sorry to hear it.” And she meant the words with all of her heart. The last thing she wanted was for his father to suffer, and for Travell to be miserable because of it. “If there’s anything I can do—”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “Would you mind coming back to Rosewood with me? He was sleeping when I left, but you… calmed him yesterday. Something me or the servants have yet to accomplish, and I detest plying him with laudanum all the time just to ease his anxiety.”
She moved forward and reached out to take his hand. “I would be honored.”
With his blue eyes focused intently on her, she certainly hadn’t prepared herself for what he said next. “Marry me?”
***
Travell wasn’t sure what had possessed him to blurt such a thing. Perhaps it was the way Alyssa’s green eyes had looked at him with such genuine co
mpassion, or if he just wanted to save each of them from their current torment, but the words fell out without warning. They seemed to hang in the air like a thick fog, surrounding them, but there was no way to dispense with it now even if he wanted to.
But instead of appearing insulted, or flattered, she laughed it off as if he were teasing. “You haven’t changed a bit.” She squeezed his hand. “But I appreciate the sentiment, nonetheless. It certainly brightened my day.”
Instead of accepting her gracious refusal, as he should have done, Travell opened his mouth again. “I daresay my conservatory could use a gentle hand. It’s been neglected for far too long.”
She tilted her head, her lips twitching with amusement. “So you’re asking me to marry you to tend to your flowers?”
“Yes. No.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, “I fear I’m not very good at this. I’ve never asked anyone to be my wife before.” He took her other hand and held them close to his chest. “It would only be a marriage in name only, if that’s what you wished. I have no desire to beget heirs if there is a chance they could inherit father’s current malady. And since I spend most of my time in London, I know you would be content there, as it’s what you’re used to as well. Say you’ll at least consider my proposal.”
She blinked and then abruptly paled. “Wait. You’re not… serious?” She pulled her hands away and stepped back. “I hate to say this, my lord, but I fear your father’s condition has rattled your brain—”
“On the contrary, I’ve never seen things more clearly.” The more he thought about it, the more Travell steadily warmed to the idea. And it wasn’t as if he hadn’t noted her charms over the years. He’d just always regarded her as Triana’s best friend, a woman who was off limits. But she would have to wed someday, so why shouldn’t it be to him? While he had sworn off marriage before, he knew that Alyssa was not only someone who could take his current dilemma in stride, but he could also trust her with his work for the Home Office. He nodded. “It’s all rather logical when put in the right perspective.”
“Is it?” She crossed her arms and lifted a brow.
He should have known to stop there, but maybe it was because he’d been an agent for the Crown for so long, used to staring danger in the face, or perhaps he was as mad as his father already. “I know you’re unhappy living with your cousin, and I could use your help right now. It’s the perfect solution for both of us.”
She stiffened her spine. “You don’t need a wife, Travell, but a nursemaid. In case you haven’t noticed, I am still in mourning, and I refuse to toss aside my respect for Aunt Pearl by making an impulsive and hasty mistake of this magnitude. So as… appealing as your offer is, I’m afraid I must decline it. Good day.”
Travell watched as she threw open the door to the chapel, just as the thunder rolled across the valley and the sky opened up.
***
Alyssa didn’t even heed the rain pouring down from the heavens as she marched toward her horse. Her anger was still bubbling beneath the surface that she was actually surprised that the droplets of water didn’t turn into steam the moment they touched her.
As she untied Posy from the tree, she clutched the edges of the saddle and blew out a heavy breath in an attempt to draw in her turbulent emotions. The mare would surely recognize her upset, and she certainly didn’t need to return to Breyton Hall in this condition. It would be bad enough to squish her way through the foyer yet again, gaining another disparaging glare from Caroline.
She closed her eyes and let the rain mix with the tears that seeped from the corners of her lids.
Ever since she was a child, she’d been in love with Travell, staring at him in starry-eyed infatuation. For years she’d dreamed of the moment when Travell would walk up to her and whisk her into a dance, and then lead her onto the terrace where they might converse in private. There, he would bend down on one knee and confess his undying love and ask her to marry him. She would accept, of course, and then he would swing her around in a circle, kissing her until they were both breathless.
As much as she adored Triana’s friendship, she’d never once shared her innermost thoughts with her for fear that they would reach Travell’s ears.
But in all those personal fantasies that she’d held close to her heart, she had never pictured a moment like today, where he’d approached her without a single hint of emotion.
A marriage of convenience. She snorted at the very idea. It might be perfectly acceptable for some members of society to enter into a loveless union. But to live with Travell as husband and wife without sharing a bed would surely be nothing of the sort. In truth, it would be rather inconvenient, for even now, that kiss from long ago tingled upon her lips, her desire for him still simmering underneath the edge of her anger.
She was utterly hopeless.
“You’ll get drenched riding back to Breyton Hall.”
Alyssa hastily wiped at her face, although she didn’t turn around, but grabbed the reins instead. “I’ll manage.”
“Don’t be nonsensical,” Travell muttered, and then she heard him step down to the ground. He reached across her and gently took the strips of leather from her grasp. “Go get in the curricle while I tie your horse to the back.”
A shiver coursed through her, and although she tried to tell herself it was because of the rain, she knew it had nothing to do with the cool, autumn shower. Nevertheless, she climbed into the two-person carriage and scooted as far to her side as she could.
Travell appeared moments later and took up the reins. After he gave the command to walk on, he turned to her. “You know, you really should stop this habit of going outside when it looks like it could pour at any moment. You’ll catch your death.”
She nearly told him that it didn’t matter, but that wouldn’t really make her sound all that sane, so she amended with, “I have a strong constitution.”
“That may be, but you’re not invincible. The last thing I need is for you to get sick and die on me.”
She glanced at him sharply, but although she didn’t detect any humor in his voice, he kept his gaze focused on the road, so she couldn’t see if he was mocking her or not. “That would be regrettable, wouldn’t it?”
This time he turned and looked directly at her. “Yes. It would.”
Since Alyssa didn’t know what to say to that, she remained silent for the rest of the trip. As the curricle pulled up in front of Breyton Hall, Travell set the brake and climbed out. The worst of the downpour had eased somewhat, so he was able to untie Posy and lead her to the waiting groom without getting drenched.
He glanced at the manor before him and said, “I suppose I should go inside and pay my respects since I’m here.”
Alyssa’s stomach rolled at the idea. Not that Travell would be lingering a while, but because she wasn’t sure what he might make of her cousin and his wife. But since it would be rude for him to ignore the opportunity to be a friendly neighbor, he followed her up the steps.
The moment they entered the foyer, not only was the butler waiting to take their wet cloaks, but Caroline was there as well. She was standing in the middle of the marble with a cross expression, her hands on her hips like an irate mother. She might be the mistress of the manor, but ironically enough, Alyssa was at least three years her senior.
Nevertheless, that didn’t keep Lady Lockley from tossing her blond head. “I see you’ve been out playing in the rain again, Alyssa. One would think at your age that you wouldn’t be so careless—” She abruptly broke off when she saw the tall figure behind her. A flicker of interest passed through her blue eyes as she beheld his handsome countenance. Her tone was decidedly softer when she said, “And who might you be?”
Reluctantly, Alyssa made the introductions. “Caroline, this is Travell Abernathy, Viscount Curdiff. He owns Rosewood, the estate bordering Breyton Hall. Lord Curdiff, this is Caroline Breyton, Lady Lockley.”
Instantly, Caroline’s face brightened when she realized a higher-ranking pe
er had called, and she offered Travell a winning smile. “My lord. What a pleasant surprise!” She walked forward and threaded her arm through his, as though they had known each other for years. “I hope that our Little Mouse didn’t trouble you too much.”
“Little Mouse?” Travell lifted a brow at Alyssa, but she didn’t reply.
Caroline, on the other hand, had no such compunctions. “It’s just a pet name that James and I call her. Isn’t that right, Alyssa?” She giggled, as if Alyssa was included in the joke. “She’s always scurrying about underfoot and popping up out of nowhere!”
“I… see,” Travell drawled, but Alyssa knew him well enough to recognize that the look he bestowed on Caroline wasn’t one of shared mirth.
Caroline turned to her. “Why don’t you go get changed while I entertain our guest in the parlor?” She waved a dismissive hand while she guided Travell away.
Alyssa merely sighed, but went upstairs.
Chapter Four
When Alyssa came back downstairs a short time later, attired in a black day gown, she noted that a teacart and various desserts were already waiting. She also saw that several of the tarts were missing.
She glanced at Caroline and thought that some of her dresses were starting to fit a bit more snugly of late. But since it wasn’t her concern to tell Lady Lockley how much she should or shouldn’t eat, Alyssa sat down in a chair across from Caroline and Travell, who she had likely coerced to sit next to her on the settee.
“Alyssa, there you are. Won’t you be a dear and pour the tea for us?”
Caroline batted her lashes, and it was all Alyssa could do to hold her tongue. It was as if she was being treated as little more than a servant in her own home, or what used to be hers. But instead of arguing, she calmly did as she’d been asked.
Alyssa handed Travell his cup first, no cream or sugar, just as she also recalled he liked it. “Shouldn’t you ask the viscount how he wants his tea served?” Caroline chided.
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