He closed his eyes temporarily and allowed his fantasies to play out, grateful that he was seated so that no one could visibly see what Alyssa did to him. For that brief moment, he relived the moment when she’d come apart in his arms. While it hadn’t been the first time he’d ever pleasured a woman, it was the first time he’d ever gained so much satisfaction from it, walking away without so much as a thought to himself. With her face flushed, her lips parted ever so slightly, the sight had been more erotic than the most practiced courtesan, skilled in the arts of temptation.
He couldn’t wait to repeat the process, already considering how he might get her alone again. It would be more difficult to accomplish now that his sister and her husband were in residence, and likely planning an extended visit since Triana knew of their father’s return, but he vowed that he would find a way. The need to see Alyssa reach her completion was suddenly as important as the air in his lungs and the blood in his veins.
He had to have it to survive.
He had to have her.
“…Lord Curdiff?”
Travell opened his eyes and glanced at Caroline, who was eyeing him curiously. “Forgive me. I fear I was woolgathering.”
She laughed and tossed her head like any other accomplished London flirt. He wasn’t impressed. “I asked if you were well, Lord Curdiff. But I suppose that answers my question.” She took a sip of her wine and licked her lips with a blatant invitation in her gaze. “I hope we weren’t boring you.”
“Not at all,” he returned tolerantly, but said nothing more on the subject, grateful when the last course was served.
“Ooh…” Caroline sighed when the dessert was brought out. “Syllabub is my favorite, Lord Curdiff. How did you know?” She fluttered her lashes at him.
“I didn’t.”
She appeared rather put out by his direct reply, but she didn’t allow it to dampen her spirits for long. Instead, she took a sip of the frothy drink and slowly licked the cream from her lips. “Delicious,” she murmured.
It was all Travell could do not to roll his eyes. Instead, he glanced toward Triana to see that she was staring at Lady Lockley with obvious disdain, while Alyssa merely contemplated her dessert with a light frown as she stirred the contents in her glass.
It was about time this meal came to an end.
He set aside his napkin and said, “I daresay I’m too full to eat another bite.”
“Indeed,” his sister agreed, rising from her chair, as if she’d been waiting for him to speak up. “Shall we retire to the parlor, ladies, and leave the gentlemen to their port?” She pointedly directed her question at Caroline, who reluctantly rose with a stiff smile.
As the trio departed, Gabriel leaned back in his chair with a sigh. “Well, that was… interesting.” He slid a dry glance at Travell. “You might have jumped in and saved me from droning on.”
Travell snorted in reply. “And deny you the appreciation of hearing your own voice? I wouldn’t dream of interfering.”
He thought he heard the duke murmur something rather crude in reply, but the baron spoke up at the same time. “I hope my coushin hashn’t been too much o’ a bother, my lord.”
He turned to Lord Lockley and tapped his finger on the table. Travell had never had much use for men who couldn’t hold their drink. He still cringed, thinking of the day he’d overindulged and make a complete fool of himself in front of Alyssa. He’d only allowed alcohol to rule his common sense a handful of times, the most recent while at Rosewood, where he regretted his actions immediately afterward. Now, he made sure to limit his intake, no matter how much he wished to drown his personal sorrows. But apparently, the baron didn’t have such qualms when it came to imbibing.
“On the contrary,” he returned evenly, “Lady Alyssa has been wonderful company for my father.”
“And for you as well, I’m shurrre.” He chuckled.
The double meaning wasn’t lost on Travell, and he didn’t appreciate it. “I hope you aren’t trying to insinuate that something untoward has occurred between us, Lord Lockley.” He chose to ignore the fact that they had just had a secret rendezvous in the conservatory, but even then she hadn’t been the one to initiate the affair. “I shouldn’t want the lady’s name injured by unfounded rumors.”
“What other conclushun could there be to shpend so much time in your company?” The baron shook his head. “Flowersh?” he added in bemusement. “Who would believe that?”
Travell clenched his fist and did his best to keep control of his growing irritation with the man, but it was difficult to do in the face of that smirk. “I hope you aren’t suggesting that you besmirch your own cousin’s honor. That would merely reflect poorly on the Breyton name.”
Instead of feeling threatened, the baron only snorted. “As if that makes any difference to me,” he spat. “My darling wife has already make me a laughingshtock with her peccadilloes. She doesn’t even try to keep her affairsh a shecret anymore.”
Gabriel had remained as a silent observer until now, but at this he spoke up. “It sounds as if you need to work on your marriage, rather than concern yourself with ruining your cousin’s reputation.”
“My coushin will not be my problem much longer.” Lord Lockley’s bloodshot eyes pinned Travell with a glare. “After she pushed me down the shtairsh, I made shure of it.”
Travell was nearly at the end of his patience. “The way I understand it,” he said slowly. “You were drunk and fell down the stairs. And considered how soused you are right now, I am inclined to believe it.” He frowned darkly. “And what do you mean that she won’t be your problem?” He could hardly grit the words out. He hadn’t been fond of the baron and his wife from the moment they called Alyssa ‘Little Mouse,’ but his respect for the man at this point was practically nonexistent.
“You’ll find out shoon enough.” He sneered.
Travell stood. “I think it’s time you returned to Breyton Hall, Lord Lockley. You have overstayed your welcome at Rosewood.”
***
Alyssa had never felt so awkward. As she sat in the parlor with Triana and Caroline, it was obvious that they had little to say to one another. Without a gentleman to flirt with, Caroline didn’t appear inclined to chat about the weather or fashion, so they merely glanced about the room in odd silence.
When Travell stepped through the door, Caroline instantly brightened, but her apparent relief was short lived, for she frowned lightly. “Where is James?”
“He’s in the carriage, as he has chosen to retire early. And since I’m sure you shouldn’t wish to keep him waiting, I suggest you return to Breyton Hall with him.”
Caroline’s mouth opened and closed several times, giving her the appearance of a fish out of water, but since she had no choice but to comply, she rose from her seat in the plush chair. However, instead of leaving immediately, she turned to Alyssa. “It appears we have overstayed our welcome.”
“Lady Alyssa will not be returning with you,” Travell said firmly. “Please have her things sent over. She is now a guest at Rosewood.”
“But—” Caroline’s lips thinned, and she shuffled her feet as though wanting to stamp her foot in annoyance. “It wouldn’t be seemly.”
Travell’s eyes glittered. “She has her maid to attend her, as well as the chaperonage of a duchess, which is more than she has at Breyton Hall. “In fact—” He took a step toward Caroline. “The way I understand it, if there is any blemish on your household, it is not due to anything that Lady Alyssa has done.” He lifted a brow as he pinned Caroline to the spot. “Do I make myself clear?”
Caroline swallowed hard. “Yes, my lord.”
Travell straightened his shoulders and turned to the side. “Good evening, Lady Lockley.”
With that final dismissal, Caroline lifted her chin and swept from the room.
The moment she was gone, Triana started laughing. “Oh, my God, Travell! That was brilliant! You really should have made a career on the stage.” She applauded for extra emp
hasis.
“I daresay I’m relieved as well,” Gabriel muttered. “I’m not sure how you managed as long as you did with your relations, Alyssa. You must have an iron will, or a fortitude of stone.”
“I admit it has been… challenging,” she confessed. “But I ended up spending most of my time here anyway.”
“That reminds me.” Triana arose and seemed to glide toward the door. “While we wait for your maid to return with your things, I’d love to see your roses.”
Alyssa stood as well. “Of course.”
Before they departed, Triana turned to her husband and Travell. “Don’t you boys misbehave too much while we’re gone.”
Gabriel’s eyes heated the instant they landed on his wife. “Rest assured, my love, I save all of my mischief for when I’m with you these days.”
Alyssa’s face heated at the intimacy sparking between them, and while she could feel Travell’s eyes upon her, she didn’t dare look at him. Instead, she led the way down to the conservatory. She opened the door and was met with the familiar scents of delicate floral perfume and rich dirt. As Triana walked over to her Blue Ladies, Alyssa’s focus was drawn to the brick wall where she’d been with Travell just hours earlier.
The way he’d touched her and brought her to such heights of ecstasy…
“Aly?”
She quickly snapped to attention. “What?”
Triana crossed her arms and studied her more carefully than she would have liked. “I was talking to you for five minutes. Did you not hear a word I said?”
Alyssa shifted, and said rather guiltily, “Yes?”
“Out with it.”
She tried to pretend ignorance. “Out with what?”
“Don’t play coy with me,” Triana admonished. “I’ve known you since we were still in pinafores. Something’s bothering you.” She paused and narrowed her gaze. “Did you lie to me when you said Lord and Lady Lockley didn’t mistreat you?”
Alyssa thought of James’ unwanted advances and Caroline’s little quips at her expense. “Not in the physical sense, but I could tell I was a burden to them.”
Triana walked over and gave her a hug. “Then I’m glad you’re here now. I’m proud of my brother for standing up for you. It took him long enough. Maybe there’s hope for the two of you yet.”
As she pulled back, Alyssa’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”
The duchess tilted her dark head to the side. “Surely you might have guessed by now that I would love nothing more than to have you as my true sister someday!”
Alyssa blinked. “Really?”
“Of course!” Triana laughed. “You don’t think I would want Travell to settle down with anyone else, do you? I’ve always thought you were a perfect match for one another.” She sighed. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to get him away from his desk long enough to find out what a wonderful woman you are.” She grinned conspiratorially. “But I see things are working out on their own after all. My father’s return has proven to be providential.”
“You never told me you thought Travell and I should get married. In fact,” she pointed out, “I believe you were the one who suggested that we all go to America with Korina.”
“Yes, well,” Triana grimaced slightly. “I may have spoken out of haste because I was upset with Gabriel. But really,” she added firmly. “I think it did us all a world of good. Not only have Isabella and Rowena recently wed, but I feel confident that there will soon be bells ringing between you and Travell.”
“Don’t be so sure on that score,” Alyssa returned dryly. “And I wouldn’t go so far as to claim you were a successful matchmaker either. You were out of the country when Izzy and Ro found love. You can’t very well take credit for their marriages when you weren’t even here.”
“Perhaps not.” Triana tossed her head. “But then, all it takes is a seed of doubt to grow love’s everlasting bloom.”
Alyssa couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Tell me you didn’t just say that.”
For answer, Triana laughed once more and drew her over to her prized roses. “How about you start with telling me how you managed to take over my brother’s conservatory, and then we can discuss how we might gain control over his heart.”
While Alyssa wasn’t sure that was a feat that might ever be accomplished, she was certainly willing to gain all the advice she could.
Chapter Twenty
When Daisy returned with Travell’s carriage and a trunk of Alyssa’s things, she had already returned to the parlor with Triana. Together with the duke and Travell, they had started a game of whist that was full of merriment, and even a bit of carefree flirtation. However, if the intense looks Travell kept shooting at her were any indication of his lustful thoughts, it was going to be a long night for both of them sleeping under the same roof.
Either way, Alyssa had to admit she was glad to be out of Breyton Hall and away from James and Caroline. For a place that had once been dear to her, it no longer felt like home. In truth, Rosewood was that for her now, for the two people she held closest to her heart were right here in this very room.
It was nearly eleven o’clock when Ives announced that Alyssa’s room was prepared for the evening. Since their latest game had just concluded, she took that as her cue. Rising to her feet, she said, “I think I’ll retire.”
Triana stood as well. “I believe I shall do the same. It’s been quite a tiring day.”
Her husband joined her. “I couldn’t let you fall asleep without me.”
“I daresay that is impossible,” Triana returned with a smile.
Once they left the room, a tense silence followed. Alyssa lingered, suddenly reluctant to leave Travell alone; although why she thought he needed company when he was used to being by himself was just her way of stalling. Nevertheless, she clasped her hands before her and said, “Thank you for everything, Travell.”
He remained seated at the table, the cards he’d gathered after their game still in his grasp. He frowned lightly, choosing to regard the deck rather than meet her gaze. “Don’t do that, Alyssa.”
Now it was her turn to frown. “Do what?”
His eyes shot upward and he pinned her with a stare so intense that she shivered from it. “Pretend that you mean nothing to me.”
Her throat went dry, making speech difficult. “I don’t…”
He stood so abruptly that she took a step backward in retreat, but with his determined advance, she wouldn’t have made it far.
He trapped her between the wall and his body, his arms lifting to plant themselves on either side of her head, blocking any hope of escape. But as his turbulent expression continued to ensnare her, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go anywhere. Her heart was thumping, but it wasn’t from fear. Far from it.
“Why do you insist on fighting whatever this is between us?” he whispered harshly.
She thought back to earlier when his hand had been beneath her skirts. Instantly, her face scalded, but she forced herself to say boldly, “I don’t recall us having an argument in the conservatory.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “It’s not the attraction you’re opposing.”
She was starting to get flustered. “Then what? Tell me what I’m doing wrong, Travell.”
“It’s me. You’re resisting me.” He lowered his head and sighed heavily.
“How can you say that?” Alyssa clenched her fists at her sides. “I have given you more of myself than I’ve given any other man.”
He pushed away from the wall. “I’m not referring to your body. Seduction is simple.” He set his hands on his hips and looked at her once more. “It’s your heart that you keep closed off to me.”
Alyssa blinked. She certainly hadn’t been prepared for that line of reasoning, because it couldn’t be further from the truth. She loved Travell with all of her heart. She had for years. He was the only one who chose not to see it. “You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” he countered.
“Yes.”
> “Then tell me why you’ve denied all of my proposals?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but found that words suddenly abandoned her. All this time she’d told herself that she’d refused his offer of marriage because his affections weren’t sincere, but he’d shown her in more ways than one that he cared for her. He hadn’t just kissed her senseless, but he’d given his entire conservatory over to her, entrusted her with his father’s secrets, and saved her from James and Caroline.
And yet, she had rejected him, time and time again.
She swallowed and answered truthfully, “I… don’t know.”
“I do.” At his confident tone, she looked at him. “You’ve suffered so much loss that you’re afraid to trust anyone completely.” He paused, and then added quietly, “How I wish you would trust in me.” With that, he turned on his heel, leaving Alyssa to contemplate his parting words.
***
Alyssa lay in bed, still awake long into the night as Travell’s unsettling statement kept running over and over in her mind. Surely it couldn’t be true, that the problem of commitment lied within her, when all this time she’d been convinced that Travell wasn’t capable of love?
She rolled onto her side, tucking her hands beneath her cheek as she stared into the embers of the low burning fire in the grate. It was true that after her father’s death at such a young age, and without even knowing her mother, the loss had been devastating. She knew if it hadn’t been for her aunt’s calm, loving presence that she would have fallen apart.
As the years had passed, Alyssa had come to rely on Lady Alwan more and more. They had settled into an easy routine, and for a time, Alyssa believed that all was well. And then tragedy stuck yet again. Pearl had started to feel sick, so they had traveled to Bath to test the healing remedy of the waters, but when that failed, they’d returned to London.
Alyssa had kept trying to tell herself that her aunt was suffering a temporary malady that would soon pass. The day she’d died, Alyssa had been by her side, holding her hand as silent tears streamed down her cheeks. When Pearl took her last breath, Alyssa had broken down — alone. There was no one there to comfort her this time. The funeral had been an equally dismal affair, taking place on a rainy Monday morning where only James, Caroline, and the vicar were present.
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