by Amy Lignor
"I'm not ready for kids right now, no. But I do want them; I do want to be a father. And you definitely have to be a Mom."
She put her hand on my shoulder. "As a song and dance man you should know, even though I can barely remember the process anymore, you need a duet to make a baby."
"Are you swearing off duets?" I asked.
She took a step backwards, but I knew the door was behind me and I couldn't let her leave. I just couldn't. I grasped her hips and pulled Beth into my arms.
Her hands immediately came up and rested on my chest; I could feel her pushing me away, but I couldn't let go. "What's it gonna take for you to kiss me?"
"What?" Beth took a deep breath and sighed. "Christ, Matt. I've told you again and again that I'm not your type."
"You're gonna have to give me at least one good reason if you want me to go away. And, 'I'm not your type' isn't good enough."
"I've given you examples," Beth's voice grew louder, as the pulse began to race in her neck. "Matt, I've shown you I'm a bitch. I've been a pain in the butt, loud, annoying—I even danced like a whore at the bar thinking it would turn you off because you're not interested in anything like that."
I tried not to smile. She really didn't have a clue as to what she looked like. Bobby was right. Her dancing was provocative, sexy and thrilling—not even close to a whore. I reached out and placed my hand on the side of her neck and watched her squirm. I just knew…I knew that spot was where, with just one kiss, her mind could be changed forever.
Beth was getting more and more frustrated. "What's it gonna take to make you just turn around and walk away from this? Not the event, please," she begged. "I mean all the other stuff."
My voice grew louder, "What's it gonna take for you to learn that I'm not going anywhere? I'm not backing away from this. This is 'us,' and it's very real."
"We're friends, Matt. The other…spark, is just heat, which you'll forget about in ten seconds once you're back in your own world with a smorgasbord to choose from."
Anger flared in my soul. "Are you nuts? Seriously! Listen to me." I scanned the body that stood just inches away. "The 'package' is a bonus and that's all it is. Yes, you're beautiful, but it's the way you talk, what you believe, the way you and I can go from friends one minute to screaming over a sports match the next to sleeping curled up on the couch with you in my arms, that makes me excited. We can talk like there's no tomorrow and every word out of your mouth is an actual surprise. You are the whole package, and whether you want to believe it or not, I want to get in here!" I placed my hand over her heart.
Closing her eyes, Beth took deep breaths. "Matt, let's just leave, okay? It's been such a nice evening, let's not screw it up."
Those chocolate eyes were practically begging. I could almost see the escape artist she'd honed for years inside her, searching for the door like a deer sniffs the wind when a coyote comes to call.
My hand locked on her back. "One reason."
"We have nothing in common," she whispered.
"We love singing, acting, dancing, movies, sports, our friends, our families, children, going to the extreme, relaxing, books…yeah, we have nothing in common." I took a step forward. "Try again."
"I'm a bitch," Beth's voice trembled a bit, as if searching for anything she could find to make her argument.
I smiled. "That's right; you care for no one but yourself. That's why you're on call 24/7 for Amber, why you bake cookies for Chris, and why you stay up all night and talk to Nicole so she can share with someone. You help this entire town—I saw it at the bar—with all of their problems. And you care for Bobby like he was your little brother and have tried with everything you've got to bring him and Chris together so that they'd both be happy."
I pressed myself against her and gazed into her now slightly anxious face. "Strike Two. You've got one more chance." I couldn't help it…I needed this woman.
As her eyes closed, Beth put her head on my chest and sighed. "Okay, the truth then. You can't kiss me because you may not be able to stop and…I won't want you to. And we only met three days ago."
Her voice was calm, patient and the honesty rang out loud and true. Pulling her close, I held Beth in my arms and took a very deep breath, knowing that this was not the way I wanted our life to begin.
Releasing her, I turned toward the door and held out my hand. "Come on, let's go back."
Beth swallowed hard and nodded, taking the lead as we walked through the dusty backstage into the outside world.
…The world where I knew I could lose Beth if I wasn't careful.
Twenty-Four
~ His ~
The ride was shorter than I remember it being. It almost felt as if Beth had the power to move the car faster in order to get out of my company as quickly as possible.
Turning on the radio, Beth kept her gaze out the passenger side window. She remained silent, as I tried to gather some advice from Coldplay on what the next step should be. My mind was absolutely whirling. At least I knew she was attracted to me; I had gotten to her somewhere along the line. But I just didn't know how to cross that line, how to make her see that two weeks or two years really didn't matter if you knew.
As I pulled the car into the driveway, I immediately saw her go for the door and I hit the lock as fast as possible.
Slowly she turned her face to mine and that breath got caught for just a moment as my words came out in what sounded like a whisper, "I've fallen in love with you."
Her eyes grew wide.
"I just thought you should know that." Unlocking the doors, I got out of the car and walked up the steps into the house.
~ Hers ~
Maybe I'd imagined it. Maybe Coldplay had said it and Matt was just singing along with the line.
Damn it! I shouted at myself. How could I just sit and tell this guy everything? I mean, he wasn't my goddamn psychiatrist and he sure as hell wasn't my mom, so what was it about this man that made me lose all my intelligence?
I slammed my head back against the seat. I'd never told anyone—not even Nicole—about that relationship. And now Matt not only knew everything, he also knew that I could only claim one relationship in my entire life. I was now just as bad as a virgin in one of the most important areas that all guys needed. And let's be honest, it's a pretty big area.
All I wanted to do was scream, or kick something—preferably myself. I would also give anything to kick Bobby right now, seeing as that he's the one who did this to me in the first place! Oh, yeah, just invite the guy into my home. Thanks a lot, bro! Dumbass!
I sighed. My heart was beating so hard. Looking up at the house, I knew they were in there; three guys who'd completely stolen my heart. One had done it a long time ago, and I swear the judge would drop all charges against me if I murdered him once he knew the whole story. And the other two? I thought Chris was like sunshine in a bottle; I did want to make cookies for him. I loved shopping with him and talking to him, he was like the ultimate kickass friend.
And then this…this…man. I should've taken up knife-throwing when I had the chance.
Taking long, deep breaths, I tried my best to get my brain back where I needed it to be. All I had to do was get back to New York—a city that I could absolutely get lost in if I needed to. Above all, I had to stop acting like Cinderella with a missing slipper and focus on Amber!
Getting out into the cool night air, I slammed the door so hard I was waiting for the windows to shatter. Dusting myself off, I headed straight for the porch, marching like Nicole always did when she was determined to do something right.
Stopping at the door, I took another deep breath. This was my house, my life and my goal. The charity event would take place and then Matt would head back to California. Amber would get parents, and I would simply go back to my books. That way, everyone would be happy and living the lives they should.
I turned the handle and heard the soft, male voices coming from the kitchen. God, I wanted to smack Bobby in the face just for fun.
>
Staring at the staircase in front of me, I shouted out the only thing I could remember. "Playoff game tomorrow night. Bring your checkbook!" I tried to sound as light as humanly possible as I headed up the stairs, into my room and straight to the shower.
All I needed to do was get back to my own little world and write.
Twenty-Five
~ His ~
"What the hell happened?"
I grabbed a beer from the fridge and turned to face Bobby and Chris sitting at the table. Staring into the eyes of Beth's friend, I wondered what to say.
"Well?" Bobby sat back against the chair with arms crossed, waiting.
"I'm in love with her."
Chris immediately began clapping his hands. "Yay!"
Bobby shushed him and pointed at the ceiling. Taking a minute, we listened to the water come on and begin running through the pipes.
Bobby relaxed, knowing Beth was otherwise engaged. I grew even more pent up knowing that Beth was otherwise engaged.
"What's wrong?" Chris asked, sending Bobby a bit of a glare. "Isn't that a good thing?"
Chris turned in the chair and stared at me. "It's about time. I've been in love with her for many lives before this one, I think. So? How did you say it?"
I shook my head, remembering how it came out. Covered in dust, her mind completely lost in the conversation we'd been having, Beth had most likely been sitting in the passenger seat trying to find a way to send me home. "It wasn't good."
Chris rolled his eyes. "I swear, men! Didn't you romance her?"
"I tried."
Looking down at the complete coverage of dust that seemed to cling to everything I had on, Chris blanched.
Bobby chimed in, "Where did you guys go?"
Leaning against the counter, I tried to find a way not to relive the moment. "We were inside this barn called the Sharon Playhouse." As I lifted the bottle to my lips, I caught Bobby's eyes growing wide. "What?"
"She took you there?"
I nodded. "Why?"
"Well…I think it's sort of a special place for her, is all."
I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, watching a cloud of dust fill the air. "I know, she told me."
"Beth told you about her past?" Bobby looked confused. "Even I don't know about it."
I watched in total confusion as a smile spread across Bobby's face. "Well, I'll be damned. You certainly got in, pal."
Chris turned to Bobby with a gleeful look in his eye. "What do you mean?"
"Beth has hidden behind Lily Stone for such a long time, she doesn't speak about herself to anyone."
Chris was beyond happy. "Oooh, think about it. At the charity event Beth is unveiled; Matt brings down the house with his performance…" He stopped, throwing me a slightly disgruntled look. "That would have been the perfect place to announce your love, by the way."I shrugged. "It's only a one time thing for charity; no one will even remember it once the night is over."
Bobby sat up. "Father is actually a full play. And if you do what I think you're going to do with the material, Father is going to see a run on Broadway—one that will be unstoppable." He looked down at the table. "And I know Beth would want you to do it."
I took a deep breath as realization dawned. Beth wasn't only trying to help Amber, she was trusting me with her entire well of emotions and I, in turn, had to go hit on her. Suddenly I felt like a real dork.
"You're looking at this wrong."
I stared at Chris, as he continued, "I can see the wheels turning in your mind, and you're missing the point."
"What?"
Bobby spoke first, "She loves you, too. Beth wouldn't have done this if she didn't. Her words are precious to her, and for her to just hand them over to you, not to mention telling you about a facet of her life that she doesn't speak about, then she must truly be in love with you."
I glanced up at the ceiling, literally playing over a thousand case scenarios in my head, trying to figure out what to do. "She keeps saying it's only been a few days."
"I fell in love in an hour," Chris replied.
Bobby blushed, but kept his eyes on me. "I'm already pretty sure what Beth is thinking. She would want your career to come first, and she wouldn't want you to be saddled down with any garbage that her Lily Stone reveal might bring to the table."
"She doesn't want to hurt anybody," Chris added. "Especially you. She LOVES you." His voice mimicked Nicole's perfectly. "So?"
"So?" Bobby echoed.
I looked at their faces; they both looked as if they were about to put the three-year-old they were dealing with to bed. "So, what?" I asked.
Bobby sighed. "What are you standing here for?"
Chris rolled his eyes. "I have no idea how you did it or what you said, but you reached through her walls and you got Beth. And you've never really struck me as the kind of guy who stands back and waits for permission. And you certainly have never struck me as the kind of guy who can't convince a woman that time doesn't matter when it comes to love."
I sighed. "Beth is a lady."
"That she is," Bobby agreed. "And you have treated her as such from day one. Believe me, I've been watching."
Chris nodded. "But I would assume a man such as yourself remembers that a lady is also a woman."
My heart jumped a bit in my chest.
Bobby stood up and took his coat off the back of the chair, nodding at Chris to do the same.
Confused, I watched them walk toward the door, wondering if that was the last word of advice I was going to get.
Bobby turned back and pointed to the small door at the end of the hall. "She locks that one when she's in there, but the one in her bedroom that opens into the upper half of that library is always open. Beth always figured that no one would ever have the balls to go into her private space."
I nodded.
"We're leaving. Going out on the town."
Chris giggled. "That should take a couple of seconds."
"We'll drive real slow," Bobby replied, as he threw me a smile. "I love Beth. She cared about me when no one else did and she deserves the absolute best." His voice grew extremely serious. "If you're not going to give her that, don't walk through the door. Understand?"
"Understood."
As the front door opened, Chris spoke over his shoulder, "By the way, take a shower. You look disgusting."
Bobby's laughter was the last thing I heard as the duo drove off down the gravel drive, leaving me in a house with the one woman I wanted to give nothing but the absolute best to for life.
Twenty-Six
~ Hers ~
When I walked out of that bathroom it must've looked like a Bon Jovi video. The smoke billowed from everywhere; I don't remember ever having a shower that hot. In fact, I think I scalded most of the layers of my skin. As I wiped the mirror and stared into it, I actually wondered if I would just see blood and tissue staring back.
Zipping myself into the gown that Nicole had bought for me, I sighed. After all, beautiful things did make you feel better and I really needed to feel like a girl tonight. I had, most likely, turned down the one shot I'd ever actually want to have during my lifetime with a man who I could truly love.
But I had to remember—his life, his dreams, his future was what he had to concentrate on, and I wanted him to have it all. And with the play, hopefully, that 'triple threat' would find himself on the Tony stage getting honored for the best performance ever seen on Broadway. A Tony, an Oscar, an Emmy—Matt could definitely win the Triple Crown.
I laughed, as I attempted to blow dry the heavy wet waves pulling on my brain.
Only slightly damp now, I walked back into the bedroom and enjoyed the blissful cool air on my skin. Grabbing the lotion I began my lavender regimen; if I had burned most of my skin off I would now be starting with a fresh layer, and I should take care of it.
I stared into the vanity mirror and began to wonder what caused that look in Matt's eyes. I mean, it wasn't like the others. He looked at me like I w
as some kind of Monet he was studying. And as any girl will tell you there's a huge difference between study and ogle.
But…my hair was plain. I mean, I always liked it, but it was long, auburn and wavy—not even close to the blonde bombshells that he saw on his neighborhood streets. My face was plain. Good skin, but that was the lotion. And the body was fine, I suppose. All the curves were in the right places, but I never saw much appeal to a woman's form. The man had that chest, those abs, the shoulders that could support you, the hands that could hold you forever, and then the stunning second half that was more thrilling than any football game I could remember. I tilted my head to the side. Frankly, we females were really boring compared to our 'other halves.'
Sighing, I brushed out the waves. Poor Matt was probably in his room checking to see if he should go to the hospital to get a tetanus shot from all the old iron, nails and wooden beams he'd scraped against.
I tried to shake Matt's final words from my head. Love me? "Nope," I said to the mirror. "That's ridiculous. Anyone who fell in love with me would have to be pitied. Now, go to work!"
I opened the door and stepped into my haven, immediately feeling more relaxed.
Walking down the staircase toward my desk I flipped the switch on the coffee pot, waiting for the familiar scent to clear my mind of tonight's events so I could get back to the characters I'd stranded in Wewelsburg Castle being chased by Nazi's.
I glanced at the other pile, knowing my angel/warrior team was due as well. But I wasn't in the mood for them right now. They were all about love and offering the ultimate beauty in order to restore some faith out there. And I just couldn't think about beauty right now.
The piles were large, the projects were huge, and with Nicole scheduled to visit soon, I began to doubt that my schedule was going to get much lighter. But at least the play was done and on its way. And in Matt's hands, it would be perfectly protected and perfectly portrayed. That was one guarantee I could take to the bank.