Lila didn’t have an answer for him. She turned and observed Greg where he was zipping up his acoustic guitar into its bag. He was about a foot taller than she was and lanky, his build lean and wiry. He had longer blond hair, hair that was pulled back into a messy ponytail at the base of his neck. His eyes were a blue-grey that changed color when the light hit them.
“What are we talking about here?” she asked, looking from Greg to Jason. She didn’t know if she wanted to do it, but she didn’t want to be a fool about it if she did. “Money and time-wise?”
“You don’t waste time on politeness, do you?” Greg laughed at her forwardness.
Lila frowned. “I’ll need to know what I’m getting—and getting into—if I’m going to sing with you. Understand?”
Jason snorted. “Oh yeah, we understand you.” He looked at Greg. “You pitch her while I start loading the car.
“Yeah, sure. Okay, man.” He and Lila waited while Jason loaded himself up with everything he could carry and disappeared into the back alley where employees and guests could park if they got there early enough. “What do you want to know?” Greg asked.
“Why do you suddenly want me as a singer?” Lila began to put the chairs up on the tables so she could mop the floor.
Greg shook his head. “You know, most girls would just be ecstatic to be asked to front a band.”
“Is that what I’m doing? Fronting a band?” She smiled and hoisted another chair. “You sure this isn’t some weird way to get in my pants?”
He grabbed his chest, staggering back as though stricken. “You wound me deeply. Cut me to the quick, I tell you.” He dodged the wadded up napkin she threw at him. He grinned and grabbed a chair and began helping her. “Seriously though, Jay and I have been talking about it. We knew we needed a singer. The two of us are okay, but we want to focus on our playing mostly. We were going to start auditioning some people to see if we could find someone who would work with our sound, but now we don’t need to—if you say yes.”
“When do you guys practice? How often?” Lila had to admit she was interested. And she’d had fun tonight. She’d tapped into a part of her that she’d nearly forgotten existed.
“Are you saying yes?” Greg’s blue eyes danced.
Lila held up a hand. “I’m saying maybe.” When his face fell, she added, “But I am interested. And I play a little guitar myself. I’d love to sit in on one of your practices to see how it goes.”
“Yes!” He slung an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. “I knew you couldn’t resist Full Dangle!”
“Hey now,” Lila said, laughing and shoving him away. He was a wall of muscle beneath his shirt. “I still have to close up here.” She went over to the counter and grabbed a piece of paper. She scribbled her cell number on it and handed it over to Greg. “But give me a call with the details and I’ll give it a try.”
***
Her phone rang, waking her up from a dead sleep. Usually she turned it off at night, but she’d been so keyed up after work and her talk with Greg that she had left it on. Blearily, she pushed dark hair out of her face and looked at her bedside table. Her phone illuminated the clock sitting next to it; it was 2:49 in the morning.
Groaning, she picked up her cell. Lila didn’t recognize the number. Who the hell would be calling her at this time of night? She thought about letting it go to voicemail, but what if it was an emergency and someone was trying to get in touch with her? What if something had happened to her mom and she had to get home?
“Hello?” Her voice was hoarse and groggy.
“Lila, don’t hang up. I need to talk to you, pl—” Tyler’s voice came tinnily over the phone. She heard music and drunken laughter in the background.
Lila hit End with hands that shook. She turned the phone off, not caring if there was an emergency. Tyler could talk to her voicemail all night if he wanted to; she wasn’t going to be picking up anymore. She’d block that number in the morning, but for right now, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep.
She lay down once more, grabbing her comforter and pulling it up to her head. Hunching down in the pillows, she curled around her old stuffed raccoon. Her grandmother had bought it for her when her mom had moved them away. Lila had been twelve at the time. Horace had been her constant companion since then—he came with her wherever she went. His belly was flattened because she tended to use him for a pillow on long car trips, but Lila didn’t mind. He was home.
Except even Horace couldn’t help her get to sleep. Lila closed her eyes, but every time she did so, Tyler’s voice echoed in her ears. She could imagine the hateful smirk that decorated his face as he breathed beerily into the phone. Screaming wouldn’t do any good, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to do it anyway.
With a sigh, Lila bunched up the pillows, trying to get into a comfortable position. She didn’t want to give Tyler the satisfaction of ruining her sleep. She had a full day of work tomorrow. Closing her eyes once more, Lila tried to give herself back over to sleep.
Her dreams were a massed jumble of fear and chaos. Tyler’s face featured prominently, usually next to hers, looking like he did on the day she’d ended up in the hospital. He was on top of her, smothering her with his weight and if she didn’t do something, he wasn’t going to stop this time. His hands dripped red where they pressed against her and she realized that he was digging inside of her, ferreting out the hidden places where she still felt like herself. He was tearing pieces of her off and placing them on the bed, next to her head.
Lila flailed, shoving against the too solid chest, and the dream altered. Tyler began to morph and change, becoming darker and darker until he was a blot of blackness. Lila tried to pull her hands away from his chest, struggling in his arms, but found herself stuck. He was like the tar baby from the old Brer Rabbit tales. His face had lost all form—it was as if Tyler had become a living shadow. The more she struggled, the more she seemed to sink into him.
The shadow-Tyler sprouted more arms, and these wrapped around her like a vise, squeezing her until she couldn’t breathe. She tried to pry herself loose, but the shadow turned to viscous liquid. She began to sink into the Tyler blob, unable to get free. The arms gripped her, dragging her into Tyler’s body. Lila felt like she was drowning. She strained her neck to keep her head free—it was the only thing that hadn’t been subsumed into the darkness. She couldn’t tell where her body began and the blob’s ended. She could feel her body thrashing within the blackness, but she couldn’t see anything.
Even as she struggled, the blackness kept expanding, crawling up her neck toward her mouth. Lila opened her mouth to scream and the blackness rushed in to fill her up from the inside out. It was inside her…
Lila woke, ripping the covers off her body with a cry. She flung her hair out of her face and looked around wildly. She was in her room, alone in her apartment. The sweat on her skin dried into clamminess and she wiped an arm across her brow. The clock read 6:28.
Drawing a shuddering breath, Lila leaned back against the wall. Going back to sleep was not going to happen. She felt too keyed up from the dream to sleep. Tyler’s remembered words still stung in places she thought long healed. And those hadn’t even been the worst things he’d ever said to her.
She reached over and nabbed her cellphone from the nightstand. She hit the power button and waited while it powered on. Lila pulled the covers back up to her chin and snuggled under the warmth of her blankets. She hadn’t turned on the heat yet, and the apartment got chilly at night. She thumbed to her missed calls and saw that there were eight separate calls and five voicemails.
The calls were all from the number that Tyler called from last night. She had no desire to listen to any of the messages he’d left. Instead she got out of bed and trundled to the kitchen to make a pot of tea. Lila didn’t feel up to dealing with drunken heavy breathing and vicious put downs without some kind of caffeine inside her. So much for hoping it had just been a one-off drunk dial.
&nbs
p; After she’d gotten herself settled and was well on her way through her second cup, she logged into her voicemail. The first one was just breathing and laughing. The second was a brief sentence that got cut off. The third was background sound from a party. The fourth and fifth were more problematic.
Tyler had actually spoken more than three words on these. His voice was slurred and menacing as he growled into the phone. “Why won’t you answer my emails? I just want to talk to you. That’s all, Lil. Why do you have to be such a bitch about it?”
Lila shuddered and clicked for the next one.
It was a simple, “I’ll see you at home, Lila.”
Lila felt like she’d been splashed with cold water. She took a swallow of her tea, forcing the liquid past the lump in her throat. She saved the messages and set the phone down with a shaking hand. She sat on the couch with her legs drawn up to her chest, staring at the phone as if he was going to turn back on and bite her.
Chapter Twelve
Donovan watched Lila as she walked the sidewalk next to him. He’d caught her on her way from her last class and was walking with her as far as his apartment. She’d still have a few more blocks to go without him, but it made him feel good to spend even this little bit of time with her. He wondered exactly when that had happened. Their kisses in the front seat of his car had been scorching, but he’d had a decent number of hot girls in his bed. But Lila, well, she was turning out to be more than he’d anticipated.
He glanced to his left surreptitiously to study her. Lila’s backpack was slung over her shoulder and she set a brisk pace. One side of her mouth turned down in a frown—he figured out from watching her all of these weeks that it happened when she was deep in thought. Thunder rumbled, the growl of a dissatisfied lion.
Lila looked up, squinting at the sky. Grey clouds scudded overhead, moving quickly. The wind was picking up. Donovan saw her brows knit as she scowled. She didn’t look very happy at the weather.
“Think it might hold off until I can get home?” she asked.
A few light drops hit his arm. A few more pattered against the pavement. “I’d say no.”
Lila made an exasperated noise in the back of her throat. She began to jog. Van caught up with her in a few strides. “Look,” he began, “you’ll never make it back to your apartment before it really hits. You can wait it out in mine. Come on.”
He wasn’t sure that was a good idea, especially not after what Gretchen had said the last time they’d gone running. He had been interested in Lila, but G-Love had ruined all hope of a casual fling with her words of warning. Donovan didn’t want to get involved in that mess. As much as Lila might tempt him otherwise, he knew that it was too much of a risk to get involved with someone with so much baggage. Casual was not something Lila could be.
But he couldn’t just let her walk home in what was probably going to be a downpour.
She stopped suddenly, her gaze sliding from the sidewalk to the sky to him and then back again. She caught the side of her cheek in her teeth; he could tell by the way her face pulled in. She did that whenever she was uncomfortable but didn’t want to say anything. And she did it whenever she was deciding something important. He wondered which one he was.
“Okay,” was all the answer he got.
They were about halfway to his house before the rain really came down, but when it did, the water pounded mercilessly on their heads. Van and Lila ran through it, their clothes and shoes becoming soaked in moments. The temperature dropped a few degrees and Van was glad to see his building looming through the grey sheets of water. He climbed the steps, checking to see if Lila was behind him. She stood there, silent as a ghost, waiting for him to open the door.
His hands shook as he keyed open the lock and ushered her inside. He could feel her shivering as she passed next to him. “Bathroom’s in there,” he said, pointing to a door off the hallway. Get undressed and I can throw your clothes in the dryer. I’ll bring you some dry stuff.”
When he emerged from his room in dry sweats, Lila was standing at the window, staring out at the rain. She’d pulled her hair back in some kind of messy half ponytail, half something else and a pile of it lay nestled at the back of her neck. Donovan wanted to dig his hands in it, feel its softness beneath his fingertips. He remembered what it felt like against his skin. It smelled like green apples and he inhaled the scent of her hair as he came up behind her.
Lila smiled shyly at him in the window. Her gaze was unfocused and sad; she looked like she’d come from somewhere a million miles away. “Thanks for the clothes,” she said, picking up the hem of his shirt. It was huge on her and his smallest pair of sweatpants still hung low on her hips even after she’d tightened the cord.
She looked delectable. He gave her a smile, trying to draw her out of whatever dark thoughts were going through her head. “No problem. Your clothes should be dry by the time this rain moves through.”
They stared at each other, and Van was so conscious of her body next to his that he could almost think they might be becoming one person. His body responded to her nearness, his dick growing hard like he was still a god-damned virgin. He’d never been so aware of a girl before. The smell of her body wash, the scent of her shampoo, the way his clothes hung on her much smaller frame. He could imagine the heat of her skin beneath his mouth. He could imagine a whole lot more than that.
To hell with Gretchen and her warnings. He wanted Lila.
He inhaled, leaning in closer. “I want to kiss you,” he whispered, his lips against her ear. He felt her shiver as his warm breath ghosted over her rain-cool skin. “Can I?”
Lila moved, raising her head so her mouth was very close to his. A slight smile played around the edges of her lips as she breathed out the words, “You may.”
Van didn’t wait, just pressed against her, feeling her soft curves meld against his hard angles. Her lips were satin and warm as sin. His tongue explored every inch of her mouth, tasting the bitter of the coffee and the sweetness of sugar on her lips and tongue. She was a mix of both, a heady combination and he wanted to swallow her whole.
She murmured against his mouth, then began sucking on his tongue. He felt his dick spasm as it pressed against his stomach. Fucking sweatpants. Her mouth was a damn miracle. He tangled his hands in her hair, pulling it out of the messy bun so it fell around her shoulders and down her back. He combed his fingers through it while his mouth clashed with hers.
He opened his eyes so he could watch her. Her eyes were closed, her thick black lashes fluttering against the creaminess of her skin. He kissed her closed eyelids, feeling the delicate brush of her lashes against his lips. Van drew back and Lila opened her eyes. Her brows drew down in a questioning look.
Donovan smiled, watching her eyes change color. Her skin had flushed pink on the points of her cheeks from his kisses; he loved to see the effect of his kisses on her. He brushed her lower lip with his thumb. She nipped at it playfully and it was about the sexiest damn thing he’d seen in some time.
He kissed her again, more forceful this time. He leaned her into the window, pressing her back flat against it. Her hands, which had been slack on his shoulders, tensed, as if she wasn’t sure whether to hold him away or pull him closer. Van backed off a little, but she surprised him by wrapping her arms around his neck. Her hips tilted upwards, pressing against him. He brought his arm down to circle her lower back, drawing her even closer.
She made a soft sighing sound against his mouth, a sound that drove him a little crazy. He wanted her to make that sound and more; he could listen to her make that satisfied sigh all day, as long as he was the cause of it.
He wrapped his other arm around her, lifting her up. When she wrapped her legs around his waist, he nearly cried out at the feel of her strong thighs against his stomach. How could she do this to him and he hadn’t even seen her naked yet? His erection strained against the fabric of his sweats.
Van moved them both, reveling in the feel as Lila’s limbs tightened around him. He
walked to the sofa, putting Lila down gently on her back before pressing a line of hot kisses down her neck. She arched against him, her hands tangling in his hair.
He opened his eyes to look at her. She was flushed, her lips swollen and red from his kisses. Her eyelids were half-closed, the shine of her eyes shuttered beneath them. Her hair was spread out like a blanket underneath her. Van could see her breath coming fast, her chest rising and falling rapidly. His kisses did that.
He did that. And he wanted to do even more.
Lila opened her eyes, staring up at him through sleepy half-lids. She smiled at him, something she rarely did, it seemed to him, and he knew he had to stop. He wasn’t ready for a commitment, not to her, maybe not to anyone. And after what she’d been through it wasn’t fair to keep going if it wasn’t what she wanted.
“What is it?” Lila asked, her voice husky and so sexy that Van wanted to silence her with kisses again.
Instead he pulled back, bringing her up with him. He gritted his teeth when she unwound her legs from his waist, missing the warmth and weight of her. Jesus, what was she doing to him? “Maybe we should slow down. I don’t want to rush you, if you’re not ready.”
Lila looked at him quizzically, a slight frown pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Why wouldn’t I be ready? We’re making out, not getting married.”
Donovan realized he’d just walked himself into a big ol’ hole and he wasn’t sure if what he wanted to say would get him out or dig him deeper. Damn it, he wasn’t good at keeping secrets because they inevitably tripped you up. Just ask his dad. Van had determined after his parents’ nasty divorce to always abide by a strict policy of truth.
“Well, but you might expect things…” he began weakly, only to trail off when it sounded so lame.
Lila slid away from him so that she was no longer touching him with any part of her body, and he wanted to hit himself upside his own head. This was coming out all wrong. She skewered him with a look. “What things might I expect?”
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