“I need to get unpacked and meet my roommate,” Lila said, hoping he couldn’t spot the lie in her voice. She wanted to get out of his room as quickly as she could.
“Too bad,” Tyler said, shrugging. He looked at his hair in the mirror, flexing his pectoral muscles as he did so. He seemed fascinated at the sight of himself without a shirt. “Catch up with you later.”
Lila gathered up her purse from the floor, where she’d dropped it as soon as he’d grabbed her. When she stood back up, Tyler was looking at her carefully, as if inspecting her. “Have you gained weight?” he asked, cocking his head and staring at her ass.
She flushed, wishing the floor would just swallow her completely. “No, I don’t think so,” was her reply.
Lila had her hand on the doorknob when his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her in close to him. He turned her in his arms and kissed her deeply. His hand strayed to her butt, cupping it and pulling her tight against him. He broke off the kiss to say, “I like a little meat on my woman.” He let her go abruptly. Lila staggered, backing into the door until she steadied. “I’ll see you later, babe.”
Nodding, Lila pushed open the door. She managed a wan smile before Tyler closed it, then walked down the hall to the door that led to the stairs. When she hit the stairwell and was safely on the other side, she let her tears fall.
Lila shook herself out of her memories. She finished washing her face and brushing her teeth, then went to her room. It was dark out and the streetlight outside her window looked dimmer somehow. She wondered if it was getting ready to go out, to plunge her street into darkness. She pulled the drapes shut and climbed into bed.
She kept the small light at her desk on, as a beacon to chase away the night.
Chapter Twenty-Five
She woke up to the sound of her mother cursing. Not the way she normally wanted to wake up, but she’d slept well and without nightmares for the first time since the calls had started, so she’d count it as a win. Lila sat up, pulling slipper socks over her feet and staggered out of her room. Her brother would be asleep until someone set off a cannon under his nose.
“Morning,” Lila said with a yawn, making her way over to the coffeepot and pouring herself a mug. “What’s wrong?” she called.
“Someone TP’d the house last night.”
Lila joined her mother in the front room and peered out of the blinds. The front yard was covered in toilet paper. It draped in the trees, looped over the bushes and wrapped around the pillars of the front porch. It covered the front lawn, already turning to mush from the dew.
“I swear, if this is Josh’s friends and their idea of a joke....” Her mother’s voice trailed off into strangled frustration. “And I just realized I forgot to get the canned cranberry stuff that your aunt likes.”
Lila frowned. She highly doubted this had anything to do with Josh or any of his friends. She had a bad feeling she knew who was behind it, but she wasn’t about to tell her mother her suspicions. Thanksgiving was stressful enough without adding her psycho ex-boyfriend to it. “I’ll clean it up, Mom,” she said. “You go on and get the cranberries while the store is still open.”
Her mother looked at her just a little too long, making her wonder if Mom had suspicions of her own. Lila forced a smile. “You just worry about Operation Giblet. I’ll handle the yard.” She dropped a kiss on her mother’s cheek, then went back to her room to change. “Josh can help me out when he wakes up.”
In sweats, trash bag clutched in her hand, Lila surveyed the front yard. She started at the porch, pulling down strips of Charmin and stuffing them in the black plastic bag. Tyler and his asshole disciples loved doing shit like this to people they’d targeted in high school. They thought it was funny. Lila had always thought it was stupid and waste of time and money. She’d told Tyler that once and he’d accused her of having no sense of humor. She hadn’t said anything else, just excused herself whenever he and his buddies would start reminiscing. Now it looked like she was on the other end of it.
The only good thing about the clean-up was that it went pretty quickly. Her mother waved at her as she pulled out of the driveway on her way to the grocery store. Lila finished picking up all of the toilet paper she could easily reach, and while it was a lot, it wasn’t particularly hard work. But there was the stuff still stuck in the treetops and for that she’d need the ladder. Leaving the bag on the lawn, Lila headed around to the back of the house where the tallest ladder sat behind their shed.
She was in the process of sliding it out from behind the back of the shed, when she got the uncomfortable feeling of someone watching her. She remembered the things her counselor had told her and she listened to her instincts, turning to head back to the house. She pushed inside the door and was closing it behind her when a hand slammed into it, shoving it back open. Lila stumbled backwards, watching numbly as Tyler shoved his way into the house. She met his green eyes as he closed the door behind him. Fear rose inside her like a tidal wave, but she did her best to squash it back down.
“I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks,” he muttered as he backed her into the wall.
Lila flinched. He was much too close to her. It reminded her of other times, times when he’d hit her or hurt her. “I told you to leave me alone.” Her voice shook only a little.
He ducked his head, looking pointedly at her wrist. “You know I didn’t do that to you, right? That it was your fault?”
Lila backed up until she was pressed flat against the wall and she couldn’t go any further. Tyler followed, pressing his body close to hers. He had his arms braced against the wall on either side of her now. His body was her cage. “No, I don’t know that.” She swallowed nervously. “If you hadn’t grabbed me…” she trailed off, her eyes darting to the hallway, torn between hoping Josh was awake and hoping he wouldn’t interfere.
“I have work to do,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “Cleaning up the mess you made.” It was a guess, but when he smirked she knew she’d been right.
Lila tried to duck under one of his arms, but he smacked his palm against her chest, shoving her backwards. Her back and head hit the wall, and she froze. His hand rested just below her throat. “What do you want, Tyler?” She was afraid of the answer.
His question shocked her. “Who’s the guy you were with that night?”
Lila tried to remember what he might be talking about, confusion evident on her face. “What night?”
His hand slid up to circle her neck, tightening the slightest bit. Lila tried to sink into the wall, but the laws of physics were having none of it. “Don’t fuck with me, Lila,” he ground out, his voice nothing but smoke and darkness. “The night I saw you at Davis.”
It clicked then. “You mean Van?” Tyler’s eyes narrowed. “He’s a friend of Gretchen’s, on the cross country team with her.”
“He seemed to be awfully friendly with you.” He leaned in close, his mouth near hers. “Have you fucked him yet?”
She shoved against his chest, but his hand tightened around her throat. Lila dropped her hands, pressing them against the wall. She felt the slick of the paint, cool beneath her fingertips. “No,” she managed to whisper. “It’s not like that.”
“He wants to.” Tyler’s eyes were bright, green chips like emeralds floating in his head. “I can tell.” His lips brushed against her cheek. “He wants to slide inside you, feel you tight around him.” He pulled back slightly so he could meet her eyes. “Just. Like. I do.”
“Leave me alone,” Lila growled at him.
He crowded against her, pressing into her so that their bodies touched along their length. “Your mouth says no,” he muttered against her ear, “but your body says yes. Just like it always did.” His hand slid from her throat down the center of her chest until it rested at the top of her sweatpants. A finger slipped beneath the waistband.
“I said, LEAVE ME ALONE!” she shouted, shoving with all her strength against his chest. He staggered backwards, giving her ro
om to get away. Lila raced toward the interior of the house, knowing that she needed to get to a phone or a room with a door before he caught up with her.
She’d managed to reach the hallway, turning the corner when he smashed into her legs, sending them both to the ground. He rolled on top of her, pinning her to the floor. Lila could smell the scent of the rug shampoo her mother used to clean the carpets, the thick fibers rough against her cheek. She could smell Tyler’s cologne, the same Aqua di Gio he’d been wearing since he was a junior in high school. Lila bucked upwards, but it was like trying to move a person-shaped mountain.
Lila opened her mouth to scream, but Tyler’s palm covered the lower half of her face. She still shouted against his open palm, but the sounds were muffled. His knees dug into her forearms, keeping her hands pinned to the floor. Her fingernails dug into the carpet, clawing at the nap as she struggled to free herself. Tyler watched her struggles, a half-smile on his lips. He was enjoying himself. He liked watching her fear.
The bedroom door slammed. Josh’s voice came drifting from the back of the house. “Hey Lila! What the heck is going on out there?”
Lila screamed behind Tyler’s hand, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. Her brother was a wrestler, sure, but Tyler was a ‘roided up nightmare. He’d take Josh apart.
But Tyler got off of her and took off through the den, yanking open the back door and running out of her house. Lila pushed herself into a sitting position, managing a feeble, “Over here.”
Josh ambled around the corner, saw her and his eyes went wide. He ran towards her, skidding to a stop on his knees next to her. “What happened?”
Lila shook her head, unable to put it into words. She’d thought changing schools would fix things, but it only seemed to make Tyler more determined. “I’m okay,” she choked out. The shakes had started and her body quivered so hard she wrapped her arms around her waist.
Josh pulled her into him, arms folding gently around her. “You’re not.” His voice was low. “It was him again, wasn’t it? Tyler?”
Lila nodded, dark waves of hair falling into her face. Her t-shirt was stained with sweat and her hands were full of carpet fibers. All of her muscles felt tight.
“Did he hurt you again?” Josh moved so he was able to look at her. When Lila didn’t answer right away, her brother flushed with anger. “I’ll take that as a yes.” His arms tightened around her, protecting her.
“How much do you know?” Lila stared at him, startled.
Josh grimaced. “I’m not an idiot, Lila. I can put two and two together and come up with four.” He peered into her eyes. “And people talk. There are plenty of rumors going around town about your accident.”
“Terrific,” Lila answered, putting a shaking hand up to the scar at her temple.
“Can you stand up?” When she nodded, he helped her to her feet. “Let’s get you to the kitchen.”
She grabbed at his arms. “I don’t want mom to know. She’s got enough on her plate today.”
Her brother eyed her dubiously. “But you’ll tell her after Aunt Tracy leaves, right?” Lila didn’t answer right away and he forced her chin up to look him in the eyes. “Right?”
“Okay,” Lila conceded. “When did you get to be so pushy?”
“I’m the lone male in a houseful of women.” He grinned. “It’s self-preservation.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lila was so glad to be back at school, even if it was only for another few weeks and those weeks included exams. She didn’t know what she’d do back at home for a month when Christmas and winter break forced her back there. She couldn’t hide in her house for an entire month. More to the point, she didn’t want to.
She and Gretchen had met up at Van’s apartment for pizza that evening, just the three of them. His place was closer to campus and Gretchen was waiting for a call from Shonda. They had just finished cleaning up when Gretch got the call. With a wave she headed out, happy to see her girlfriend. Lila had assured her she’d be okay walking home, backed up by Van offering her a ride whenever she was ready to leave.
She felt like she was on the edge of something. Ever since Tyler had come to her house and she’d had that heart to heart with her brother, Lila felt something shift inside of her. She wasn’t frightened anymore—or she was, but it wasn’t as overwhelming as it had been. She wanted her life to start back up again, with her as a participant, rather than as an observer. Going home had affected her in a way she hadn’t expected.
She felt powerful, in control, for the first time in over a year. And she liked that feeling. She wanted more of it.
Lila took the boxes into the kitchen. “You got some tin foil or something I can wrap the leftovers in?”
“Just throw the whole box in the fridge,” Van said, collecting the paper plates and napkins and joining her in the kitchen to dispose of them.
“Sure thing.” Lila opened the door and leaned over, looking for an empty spot that would fit the box. There was a slew of takeout containers, old pizza boxes, and an array of beer. “I’m thinking you’ve discovered a new species in here,” she said, taking out a Chinese takeout box that had green fuzz growing on it. “This might qualify as an EPA superfund site.”
“Oh, dear God,” Van said, taking the container from her. “I think it’s achieved sentience.” He pitched it in the trash.
“You may have more science experiments in there,” Lila noted, washing her hands.
“I’ll clean it out later,” Van said, getting himself a beer. “Want one?”
Lila shook her head. “I’m good.”
His eyes traced her face. Lila felt her breathing speed up. She was attracted to Van and the closeness of the kitchen was driving that fact home to her. She licked her lips, wondering if he was feeling the same thing. Tyler’s words came back to her, hatefully spilling from his mouth. She glanced at Van. Did it matter if that was all he wanted? What about what she wanted?
“What are you thinking about?” Van asked, his voice husky. His eyes seemed to glow when they looked at her.
“You,” she said without thinking. His eyebrows winged upward, surprised at her honesty. “And what it would be like if I kissed you.”
“You are?”
She nodded. Lila watched a slow grin spread across his face. She smiled back. “I’ve been thinking about your mouth all night,” he admitted.
He crossed the space that separated them in a few steps and claimed her lips with his. It was a hungry kiss, a kiss that made the hair on her arms stand on end. She opened her lips and allowed his tongue access to hers. Her tongue slid inside his mouth, slicking along his teeth and licking at the top of his mouth. He sighed against her lips.
Van urged her up, until she was seated on the edge of the kitchen sink. She wrapped her legs around his hips and arched against him when he ground his crotch into hers. He trailed kisses from her ear down the side of her neck, his hands buried in the thick waves of her hair. Lila cried out softly when he lapped at the hollow of her throat, swirling his tongue there. His hands skimmed along her back, sliding down to the top of her jeans, before moving back up to her bra strap.
Lila broke away long enough to pull her shirt over her head. She wanted this. She wanted Van. He feared complications, and she didn’t want any. She wanted to turn off her brain and not think—just be a creature of sensation, of feeling. And he turned her on like no one had since she’d gotten involved with Tyler.
Van stared at the pale skin that spilled over the top of her bra. His fingers lightly traced the tops of her breasts, dipping a finger beneath the satin cup. He grazed her nipple with a knuckle and she arched her back, pushing her hips into his. Her fingers raked the back of his shirt, clawing it up so she could pull it off. Van obliged and then they were pressed chest to chest and flesh to flesh.
She bit lightly at his ear, then sucked at the join between jaw and neck. He tasted like sweat and man. Lila wanted to lick him all over. She ran her hands over his lean chest, feeling
the smooth, hard muscles there, so different from Tyler’s bunchiness.
“Bedroom?” he asked, his voice dark and rich, like expensive bourbon.
“Yes,” Lila enthused, ready to have unfettered access to his body.
Instead of letting her down, he scooped her up, his hands holding her ass. She kissed him deeply as he walked them to the bedroom. He set her down on the bed, releasing her. Lila twined her arms over his shoulders, urging him to follow her. She kicked off her shoes, then rolled so that she was on top.
***
If someone had told him that he’d have Lila in his bed on the night he got back from a harrowing Thanksgiving break where his mother was doped to her eyeballs, he’d have asked for some of whatever they’d been smoking. To say this turn of events was unexpected was like saying the surface of the sun was kind of hot.
Van’s hand came up and pulled the elastic from her hair. It fell down in heavy waves, spilling over her shoulders and across her forehead. He dug his fingers into it, pulling her back down by fistfuls of it. Her mouth was hot against his, and full and soft. All he wanted to do was devour her, the softness of her skin, the furnace of her mouth, the dark tumble of her hair.
Lila kissed down the front of his throat, nipping and licking as she went. Her mouth ghosted across his chest, and he inhaled when her lips closed over his nipple. He moved restlessly when she continued her path down his stomach, lapping at his belly button. Lila’s hands worked at the button and fly of his jeans, popping him free.
As much as he wanted her mouth on him, Van wasn’t willing to wait for his turn. He took her arms and rolled again, bringing him back on top. For a moment he stared down at Lila, marveling at the delicate flush to her creamy skin, the shine in her hazel eyes. Her dark lashes swept down like crow wings, trembling against pink cheeks. His eyes swept down, taking in the smooth plane of her collarbone, the rapid rise and fall of her breasts against the grey satin of her bra. Her stomach was a soft, flat expanse of skin, just begging for him to touch it.
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