“That was one of the reasons,” he admitted.
“And the other?”
“Because every time you’re near me, I want to kiss you. So I did.”
Well, at least he was honest. Ruby went up on her toes and nipped at his lips.
“What are you doing?” he whispered.
“I wanted to kiss you.” She repeated his words back to him. “So I am.”
Chapter Five
Five days had passed since Knox had cooked Ruby his mother’s recipe in his kitchen. And for the past five days he’d seen her every day.
Knox knew full well he was teetering on a thin line. For a man who didn’t want any type of a relationship, he was doing a poor job of following his own rules.
But he honestly didn’t care. He hadn’t felt this alive, this attracted to anyone since Lydia. He had no idea what was going to happen, no clue as to when he’d actually leave for Atlanta, but for now, he was going to enjoy Ruby because he deserved some happiness . . . and she made him happier than he’d been in years.
Her work schedule was grueling. He’d figured that out the first day she’d gone back. How that woman managed everything and still remained awake was beyond him. She was like a machine always on the go and only rested when she had to refuel to get back up and start all over. It was tiresome just trying to keep up.
Ruby had worked until midnight last night and said she’d be free about two in the afternoon once she got some sleep. Knox waited until two-thirty before knocking on her door. Today was a special surprise. The past few days when she’d gotten off work, he’d brought food over and they’d watched movies, laughed, talked.
But today he wanted to mix it up a bit and show her a little more of his life. Again, what was he doing? Pulling her deeper into his world was only adding another layer to this already deep bond. Honestly, though, he didn’t care. Ruby was special and he was anxious to show her something.
When she opened her door, she looked just as refreshed as ever. If someone didn’t know her, they’d never guess she’d spent all night saving lives.
His chest tightened. There was so much irony in this entire situation, but he couldn’t dwell on that right now. He couldn’t go back in time.
“Come on in,” she told him as she turned to lead the way.
“Actually, why don’t you grab your shoes?” he suggested.
Ruby glanced over her shoulder. “Where are we going? I’m not exactly dressed for an outing.”
That’s one of the reasons he found her so amazing. She was comfortable around him with her jeans and simple V-neck tee. With her hair in a ponytail, she looked ten years younger than what she was. So far he’d seen her in a variety of states and every single one appealed to him.
“I promise, you look perfect for what I have in mind.” He did step into the house and close the door, but he remained in the foyer. “Just grab some shoes and a light jacket.”
Knox waited in the doorway, eager to get their day started. He knew she’d have to be back by this evening to get sleep before heading back into work. He intended to make the most of their situation.
When she came back, she still had her brows drawn in, her eyes locked onto his. “You’re making me nervous. When are you going to tell me what we’re doing?”
He reached for her hands, because he missed her touch and he wanted to feel her. “Are you afraid of heights?”
Ruby stared at him a second before her brows rose and her mouth dropped open. “Are you taking me flying?”
Knox merely smiled.
“Really?” she squealed. “I’ve never been in a plane before.”
“Never? You live in Haven and you’ve never taken advantage of the airport? You’re not afraid, are you?”
Lydia had been terrified of flying. He hated comparing the two women, but it was difficult not to when he’d only had this strong of a pull twice in his life. Lydia had been his everything. Their slow romance had evolved into a short marriage.
Suddenly, this fast-paced whirlwind he was in with Ruby was just as intense and exhilarating as his marriage. How the hell had this happened? Hadn’t he warned himself not to get too involved? One day had led to another and here they were . . . and he wasn’t about to call it quits.
At some point though, he’d have to make some major decisions regarding his future. Call it quits and walk away from her, or figure out what exactly they were doing with each other. Atlanta wouldn’t wait on his answer forever. He’d been in contact with an old Navy buddy and had lined up something working for a company that specialized in the engineering of new jets and the dynamics of state-of-the-art models. He was fortunate to have something so meaningful and perfect for him fall into his lap.
Yet he still hadn’t agreed to the position.
“You okay?” she asked.
Knox pulled himself from the inevitable future decisions and kissed her hand. “Let’s go. You’re going to love this.”
He purposely didn’t answer her, but she grabbed her keys from the hook and followed him out the door. From her enthusiasm, he couldn’t help but smile. This would be a memorable Christmas for her. He’d make sure she didn’t have time to grieve, but to remain positive and happy.
And so what if he wanted to kiss her? What was the big deal in fantasizing about more? Ruby knew where he stood and she was well aware he wasn’t staying. Because he wasn’t. He’d be telling the firm he was taking the job . . . just as soon as he got around to calling them.
The more leaving crossed his mind, the less appeal it held.
Knox helped her into his truck and decided he didn’t have to make any life-altering decisions right now. Nothing would happen until after Christmas anyway, so it would be best to just enjoy the day, the woman.
He couldn’t wait to get her in the air and see her reaction to his favorite pastime.
* * *
“This is insane.” Ruby adjusted the mic by her mouth as she stared down at the patchwork-like view. “Everything is so tiny. Isn’t it strange how little this makes you feel in the grand scheme of things?”
Knox’s soft chuckle came through the headset. “There are no problems up here. I leave everything down there.”
Ruby shifted in her seat to face him. “Is that why you went into the military? To get away from your problems?”
He stared out over the horizon as silence filled the tiny cockpit. “That’s exactly why I joined. I’d always wanted to, but then I met Lydia and fell in love, so we married. I knew she was sick when we married, but we didn’t know if she’d get better, so we jumped right in. Obviously I couldn’t leave her, so after she passed, I fulfilled a dream and escaped my pain. Or tried to anyway.”
Ruby couldn’t imagine the pain of finding the love of your life and then experiencing such a devastating loss. That whole ordeal of seeing Knox and Lydia had changed something in Ruby as a person and a nurse. She knew she wanted that kind of love in her life one day, but she also knew she needed to remove herself from that type of atmosphere where she’d be subjected to getting emotionally involved with the families. Being a nurse was emotional regardless, but she had to guard her heart where she could.
“And did that work?” she asked. “Running away.”
“No. I ended up seeing a counselor and that’s what helped. The pain is something I’ve learned to live with and I know that Lydia would want me to move on. We actually talked about that before she passed, because we knew the outcome.”
Ruby swallowed the lump in her throat. “You loved her so much.”
“I did,” Knox replied. “We had a good life and I can’t complain, but I always thought marriage would last longer, you know?”
Yeah, she did know. She wanted a marriage that lasted forever. She didn’t fantasize about the dream wedding; she daydreamed about the happily ever after portion. So many people put too much focus on the wedding—the perfect dress, the right location, the flowers, the seating charts. Ruby didn’t care if she got married in her living room so l
ong as she was loved and the marriage lasted.
“So tell me about why you’re not seeing anyone.”
His voice cut through her thoughts and Ruby shifted again to look back down at the strip of blue that was the winding river a few towns over from Haven.
“I’m seeing you,” she joked.
“True. But before I came onto the scene. I know you dated jerks, but I can’t believe there’s not an eligible doctor at the hospital who hasn’t flirted with you.”
Ruby rolled her eyes and threw him a look. “You’re kidding, right? Yeah, they flirt, but they’re also married, which is an absolute no from me. I feel sorry for their wives.”
“Is that why you switched departments?” he asked.
The plane banked slightly as they turned. Ruby loved the thrill that shot through her with each movement. No wonder Knox adored this sport. She could become completely addicted to flying. And with the airport practically in her backyard, she should take advantage of this. There was probably quite a bit in her little town that she needed to take advantage of but never had time for.
The new women’s-only resort and spa that had opened last Christmas was thriving and all the buzz was about the men who opened it in memory of their late sister. Perhaps she’d call and see about a massage on her next day off.
“Ruby.” Knox’s voice came through the headset. “Why did you switch departments? Was it an issue with a coworker?”
If the answer were that simple, she would’ve responded the first time he asked. She’d always prided herself on honesty and she didn’t see the need to lie now.
“I switched departments when I lost a patient who touched me.” She shifted her gaze from the picturesque view to Knox’s profile. “She was a young wife and had her whole future ahead of her.”
His audible swallow echoed in her ears.
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “You asked.”
His knuckles turned white as he gripped the control. “I didn’t realize she had such an impact on you.”
“She was my first terminal patient and I was fresh from nursing school. I got to know her, got to know you, though I know you probably don’t remember much about me from that time.”
“Not much,” he admitted. “That’s a chapter in my life that’s a blur when I look back on it. I was so focused on making her final days perfect. But I remember you. You were the most compassionate nurse we had. You were so attentive to her needs and mine. You worked harder than anyone we had the entire time we were there. I actually sent a note to the CEO about the care you provided.”
Ruby jerked in her seat. “You did? My word, Knox. You’d just lost your wife.”
“I sent it after the funeral. You know, when I was alone with my thoughts in that house and going out of my mind. I needed to do something and you deserved the praise.”
There was so much to take in about his statement—a statement and action he was so cavalier about. Through his pain he made a point to remember the care his wife had received. That would explain why Ruby had been given such high praise when she asked for the transfer to the ER. She’d had no idea.
And now she was getting swept up with a man who clearly loved his late wife more than anything. Why did Ruby even think for one minute that she could penetrate that strong a bond? Why did she let herself hope? Someone like Knox loved with his whole heart. Even though he seemed to be doing so well, that didn’t mean he’d make room for anyone else in his life.
“We better get you back so you can get rested for work,” he told her as he banked the plane and turned toward Haven.
Ruby fisted her hands in her lap as the harsh reality settled in. She had two options right now: she could call it quits and go back to her life the way she knew it, or she could enjoy the time she had with Knox while he was in town.
As much as her heart would hurt in the end, Ruby knew there was no way she would stop seeing him, even if it was on a friend level.
“Maybe we’ll get in another flight before I leave,” he told her. “I plan on keeping my plane here until I figure out what to do in Atlanta.”
“Sounds good,” she lied as the wheels hit the runway.
“Maybe I should take you to dinner in this,” he added. “You can pick anywhere you want.”
Okay, now fate was just rubbing it in.
He circled the runway, slowly bringing the plane to a stop. They put their headphones on the controls and Knox hopped out before coming around to assist her.
When her hand slid into his as she stepped down, she tried not to shiver. Every time he touched her the jolts were just as potent as the first time. Why, why, why did it have to be this man?
“Hey, guys.”
Ruby turned to see Jackson Morgan walking with his daughter, Piper. They were crossing the grassy path that led to one of the hangars. Well, Jax was walking. Piper was skipping and holding on to her father’s hand. Her little ponytails bounced against the side of her head and Ruby didn’t think this little girl could get any more adorable.
“Hey, man.” Knox reached out to Jax as he neared and the two shook hands. “You all going up?”
“We are,” Jax confirmed, glancing to his daughter, who eagerly nodded her head. “We have a pretty free day and Piper planned it for us. Now we’re just trying to beat the rain. I saw the forecast and it looks like it might just miss us, but we’re going to hang around and see.”
Ruby smiled down at Piper. “I just took my very first flight. I bet this isn’t your first. You’re probably a pro by now, aren’t you?”
Piper’s mouth dropped. “Your first? I’ve been up like a gazillion times.”
Laughing, Ruby nodded. “I’d say that’s not too far from the truth with your daddy owning the airport.”
“Part owner,” he replied.
Ruby forgot Jax was part owner with the late owner’s daughter. Granted the woman had been MIA since they graduated high school, so Ruby didn’t know how much of a partner she was.
“Well, we need to get going,” Knox said. “Great to see you.”
Jax’s eyes went from Knox to Ruby, back to Knox. “Looks like things are working out.”
“We’re just friends,” Ruby was quick to say, and quick to remind herself.
Jax’s lips twitched and he nodded. “Okay, then. Good to see you both.”
Piper waved bye as they headed into the hangar.
When Ruby turned to face Knox, he was staring at her, his mouth in a frown, his eyes . . . Honestly, she couldn’t read what was in his eyes.
“What is it?”
He stared at her for a minute before he spoke. “Why don’t you head on into the lounge. I’ll get the plane put away and meet you there shortly.”
“Something’s wrong,” she told him.
Knox shook his head and started back toward the plane. “I won’t be long.”
Ruby watched his back as he walked away from her. Something had happened, something he obviously didn’t want to talk about. He’d shut down on her and that was the first time she’d witnessed that type of response from him.
As she made her way to the lounge area inside the main building, she wondered what had happened during their flight. Had he been thinking like she had? Had the dynamics of their relationship been more than he’d originally thought?
All of this uncertainty could honestly drive her out of her mind. But Ruby needed to guard her heart above all else or she could end up seriously hurt.
Chapter Six
What the hell am I so upset about? Knox asked himself. I’m the one who put the restrictions on this relationship. I’m the one who insisted that anything more than a friendship is impossible.
Yet the second Ruby had told Jax that they were just friends, Knox had the sudden urge to hit something . . . mainly his past self. She had been quick to answer, which told him she was either in denial about the amount of chemistry sizzling between them or she was perfectly content in the friend zone.
And from the way she kissed him the other
day, he didn’t think that was the case at all.
He stepped outside and closed the hangar door, taking a minute to collect his thoughts. There was no reason to lie to her when she’d asked what was wrong, so he completely dodged the question altogether. He hadn’t been sure how to respond because he wasn’t even sure of his own thoughts.
Knox wanted Ruby. That was pretty much the bottom line and the crux of the entire situation.
But what happened if she fell for him and he couldn’t commit? That may have sounded egotistical, but all of this wasn’t about him. He cared for Ruby, more than he thought he would, and he worried she’d get hurt if he found out that he couldn’t move on . . . not in that way. Hell, he had no clue if he could emotionally invest in a woman the way she deserved. He hadn’t tried since losing Lydia and he certainly didn’t want to make Ruby his experiment to see if his feelings still worked.
On a groan, Knox raked his hands through his hair. What was he going to do?
Before he could have that mental pep talk with himself, raindrops hit his face. So much for that nice day and that sunshine that had been out moments ago. Jax hadn’t taken off yet; most likely he and Piper were still in the other hangar.
Running through the rain, Knox headed to the main office area. Ruby wasn’t inside in the lounge, she was standing beneath the overhang watching him. A worried look on her face was all the proof he needed that he’d handled things badly. He never wanted her hurt, and he sure as hell never wanted to be the cause of the pain.
Knox stopped just beneath the sheltered covering and shook the water from his body. He raked a hand over his wet hair and met her gaze.
“I can pull the truck close to the front if you want to go through the building so you don’t get soaked.”
Ruby reached up, her palm flattening against his cheek. “What happened between the flight and now?”
Uncertainty formed like a ball in his throat and he attempted to find the words. Nothing came to him. Well, several things came to mind, but none of them would help this immediate situation.
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