In the kitchen, Kellie cradled her face in her hands. "Kellie?"
Her head shot up, and she spun to face me. "Elle, oh." She hurried to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of water. At that moment, she looked so lost, and the need to comfort her was overwhelming.
"You know, not too long ago, we lost a baby."
Kellie froze.
"Tristan and I were shocked and scared as hell when we found out I was pregnant, but after the first doctor's visit, the fear transformed into excitement."
Kellie pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, and she sat on one side and me on the other. "Elle, I had no idea."
I smiled, remembering the day. "Something changed when we saw the small dot on the screen during the ultrasound."
Kellie handed me the bottle of water, and I opened the lid, taking a long drink.
"When they wheeled me into surgery, I didn't think I'd want to try having another baby."
Kellie patted my arm. "Oh, Elle."
"Losing my sister was hard, but losing our baby…" Funny how quickly the tears and hurt emerged. Apparently certain wounds were more difficult to heal than others. Sucking in a deep breath, I continued. "Although Conner isn't my son, he is Tristan's. I give you my word, I'll love him with everything I have."
The sound of laughter carried from the living room. "Tristan's agent said he spoke with you yesterday."
"Oh, yes. He called on my way back here."
"I hope you understand that we trust you."
She dismissed me with a wave of her hand. "Don't worry about it. I know any negative news would be bad for him right now."
"You and Conner aren't negative news. Quite the opposite, really. Oh." I thumbed behind me. "You left because the baby was sick."
Kellie rolled her eyes again. "Once I got home, it was nothing. I've never left him alone, and Mom had a hard time getting him to settle down."
"I'm glad everything turned out okay." My stomach rumbled.
"Hungry?"
"A little." I laughed. "Have y'all eaten? Maybe we can order pizza?"
"The sauce doesn't agree with me."
"Well, um."
"When I started chemo treatments, my mouth became more sensitive. But there's a place that delivers soups, salads, and sandwiches."
"Works. Maybe we should check on those two?"
"You go ahead." She nodded. "I'll look up the number."
"Okay."
In the living room, Tristan sat on the floor watching a cartoon while Conner played beside him. Definitely a picture-worthy moment. I took out my phone and captured them.
"Spying on me, Spud?" Tristan glanced at Conner who jabbered to his toys.
"Maybe." I sat next to him on the floor. "Hungry?"
"I could eat."
"Kellie suggested a sandwich place that delivers. Do you want a club with extra bacon?"
"Sounds perfect."
An hour later, the four of us sat in the kitchen finishing up lunch. Kellie cleaned up Conner's highchair when he yawned and rubbed his fists in sleepy eyes.
"Is it his nap time?" Conner had a head full of hair, and the dark strands fell into his eyes, just like Tristan's always did. Out of habit, I swept the pieces away.
"Yeah, I'll put him down in a second."
"If you don't mind, I'd like to."
Kellie tossed the washcloth into the sink. "Um, sure."
Conner squirmed, turning his head from one side to the other while I carried him to his room, Kellie following.
"He fights sleep," Kellie said, running her hand over his head.
Suddenly, I felt like an intruder. "Am I, I mean, would you rather put him down?"
Kellie offered a sad smile. "No, you do it."
"If you're sure?"
She nodded.
"What do I do, exactly?"
"I usually rock him until he stops moving." She pointed to the black wooden rocking chair in the corner. "Once he's out you can lay him in the crib."
"He won't wake up when I move him?"
She shook her head. "Not once he's out."
Eyes closed, he frowned, shifting in my hold again. "I'll shut the door so the noise won't bother him."
"Okay," I whispered, sitting in the chair. The door latched, and I rocked him in my arms. His cheeks caved when he smiled, scooting up on my chest and sucking his thumb. Within a few minutes, his thumb slid out. As Conner rested, the steady beat of his heart drummed against my chest, and a feeling I'd never truly experienced before came over me.
Peace.
Tristan
Any animosity toward her disintegrated the second Kellie opened the front door. The woman who greeted us with patchy hair, sweatpants, and a baggy T-shirt wasn't the label-wearing, makeup-just-right girl I used to know. But I still wanted answers.
The electric hum of the refrigerator and the loud tick from the clock on the wall next to the kitchen table blared in the quiet as I waited for Kellie to answer my questions. Why hadn't she come to me sooner? Elle believed her right away, which said a lot, though considering our track record, my doubts were many. Kellie keeping her cancer diagnosis under wraps I got, but my son? It wasn't until Conner's face came into view that I truly believed he was mine.
Kellie handed me a water. "Thanks," I said.
She sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the kitchen table. "I'll start at the beginning."
Crossing my arms, I nodded.
"The treatments and radiation worked great in the beginning. My doctors were hopeful until I got a nasty touch of pneumonia during the last round of chemo. We had to stop." She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "When the treatments first started, I jumped in with high expectations." She took a breath, glancing over my head. When her gaze met mine again, a sense of strength I hadn't ever seen in her before shone through. "The battle, the setbacks, the possibility of dying suddenly became a real possibility."
"Kellie, you didn't have to face any of this alone. I would have been with you."
She grinned, the same rebellious woman I fell for jumping back into the game. "You know I've always been selfish, and once I set my mind to something I don't often change it."
"That, I remember." I took a sip of water. "But in all seriousness, you should have called."
"If you want the truth, I picked up the phone a dozen times to yell and blame you–for my having cancer–but never for the chance to be a mother."
Guilt and shame flooded in. I wished I was there when she needed me. Before I could apologize, and I would have, hundreds of times over, Kellie continued.
"Getting sick wasn't your fault, and once I dealt with the anger and resentment, I decided to find you."
"So you finished chemo?"
"Yes, when my strength returned." She grimaced. "Unfortunately, the infusions didn't work as well as they'd expected. Dr. Ling says I have a few other options." Kellie coughed into her elbow.
The chair legs scraped against the linoleum floor when I leaned forward. "We can do more. See a different specialist, something. Anything." Helplessness ate at me. I finished every game and gave my all until the end. What Kellie shared with me sounded like defeat. I didn't know how to deal with that. "Don't give up. I'm here. I'll do whatever it takes to make this better."
"Right now I have energy to be a mom." Her brows drew together. "When Conner falls asleep, I sometimes just watch him breathe. Brushing his hair from his face, those dimples peek out, and I imagine..." She closed her eyes, licking her lips, and her cheeks dented. "I imagine that he'll hear me talking to him when he sleeps–when I'm not here anymore." When her dark eyes found mine, they gutted me. "When I'm with him, every second is a chance to show him how much I love him."
"There's something we can do. You said there were other options."
"I'm tired." Her expression closed up. Then, "Yes, I'm still getting therapy."
Relief filled me. "Kellie, I'm–"
She raised a hand. "It's not your fault. I should've seen someone sooner, but I'm
glad I didn't."
What the hell? "So you'd rather be dying?"
Kellie's eyes flashed with anger. "Had I gone sooner, I would've terminated the pregnancy, Tristan."
There were so many things I regretted, though none more than the words I'd just said. "Kellie, I'm sorry. Don't cry." I circled the table and pulled her to me, her once curvy body now bones against my chest.
She patted my arm, moved away, and grabbed a paper towel. "The only thing I hate is not participating–" Her breath stuttered. "Leaving him is the hardest thing I'll–"
I rushed to her again, but she stopped me. "No, don't."
"I know this will be tough, but I'm... You said there was a chance. We're gonna take that and make it happen."
She blew her nose, and grabbed another paper towel to dab under her eyes. "Mom and Dad have been great. They urged me to find you sooner." She shrugged. "It's just that not knowing what would happen when you found out intimidated me."
The scruff on my chin scraped my palm as I ran a hand over my face. "God, Kel, I had no idea."
"No shit." She smiled.
"Never, never would I have taken him from you or your parents." I grasped her shoulders. "I'm the intruder here." My voice cracked.
Kellie deserved so much more than this life.
"Kellie, you can't possibly know how much I wish things were different."
"Thank you." She turned toward Conner's room. "It's awfully quiet in there." Kellie ambled past, and I followed her to his doorway.
Standing in the door, we found Elle holding Conner, both of them asleep in the rocking chair. Kellie nudged my arm, and whispered, "She's going to be a great mom, Tristan. I'm glad you picked her."
My nerves felt raw, exposed. "We lost a baby not long ago. It was pretty hard for us."
"She told me. I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you." I smiled down at her. "You know, I was afraid Elle would suffer after meeting him, but I was wrong." Nodding their way, I said, "She loves our son already." Interrupting the silence, my phone rang, and Elle jarred awake. Kellie headed inside to tend to them while I talked to Mom.
"Mom, hey."
"Are you there?"
I smiled when she mimicked my whisper. "Yeah, Elle and I got in hours ago."
"Can I see him?"
Mom had pulled me aside before they headed out the other night. "Don't let go of Elle. You two are going to feel lost, exposed, and a whole lot of other emotions." She held my face as she'd done when scolding me as a young boy. "You'll know what's right."
"He's perfect, Mom. You and Dad will love him."
"Oh, Tristan." I could hear the smile, even as she covered up the sniffling and crying. "And Elle, how's she holding up?"
I leaned against the wall. "She's crazy about him, too, Mom. You should see them together."
Mom muffled the line to blow her nose. "So when can we see him? Vivian and I are going crazy sitting here."
Mrs. Richards' voice cut through in the background. "Is Elle okay?"
Mom relayed what I'd told her.
"We haven't talked about visitation yet, but I'll call or text when we leave."
"Okay, baby. Just know we're here for you both."
"Thanks, Mom." Footsteps behind me down the hall grew louder. "I better get off. We'll fill you in when we get back."
Mom agreed, and I ended the call as Kellie and Elle rounded the corner. Seeing them it hit me, the only two women I'd ever loved would be part of my life until the end.
In the small living room, Kellie and Elle visited while the baby slept. A photo album of memories I wasn't a part of splayed between the three of us.
"This one is my favorite." Elle traced the picture with her finger, her eyes alight with affection.
"It's mine, too," Kellie said, blinking rapidly.
We enjoyed sharing moments, talking and getting to know one another. In the mix of it all, we had a plan for the future.
"After graduation, I'd like to come up and visit before heading off to Louisiana."
Kellie's mouth curved into a smile. "Dad and I watched the draft."
"It was a surreal experience," Elle said, wrapping her hair in a bun.
I shook my head, dismissing talk about the draft. "Kellie, we want to be a part of your lives from here on out."
"I'd like that."
Elle reached to thread her fingers through mine. "Next time, we can let our parents come down. I know our moms are looking forward to seeing you both." I squeezed her hand with my free one.
"We could go to graduation?" Kellie sipped her tea.
"Tristan and I would love that. You two are welcome to stay at the house. Saves on hotel fees and stuff."
Kellie shifted on the sofa, uncomfortably.
"Or not, but either way, the invitation is open," I offered.
"I'll think about it." Kellie returned a tightlipped grin.
Elle tugged on my hand. "I wish we could stay, but it is getting late."
Kellie glanced at her watch. "Wow. You're right."
"Call us so we can figure out what to do about Friday. And as soon as the results are in, and the legal paperwork is out of the way, we'll go over visitation. I'd also like to talk with your parents."
Kellie nodded. "They asked to be here, but I wanted us to have a chance to work everything out without an outsider's opinion."
Did her parents not want me around? After the way I treated their daughter, I didn't blame them. No matter, I'd prove I was worthy of their trust.
"Anyway, you two be safe driving back. We'll talk soon."
Elle hugged Kellie. "Thank you, for everything."
Other than music playing in the background, the drive home was quiet. The mean grip I had on the steering wheel cramped my fingers. I didn't care. Anger and remorse took turns beating me up on the inside. Kellie was preparing for her life to end, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to save her. The fear didn't fade, even as Elle's hand rested in mine, lending me strength.
Elle
Over two days, Alyssa's messages and calls went ignored. I didn't know how to tell her what was going on without dealing with a flip-out. After the fourth text of the morning on the third day, I relented. Not home, but I'll call as soon as I get there.
"You know she won't leave it alone." Tristan grabbed a shirt from the laundry basket and added it to a hanger. I loved that he was making an effort to help, but the smirk he wore right then irritated me.
Rubbing the ache in my temples didn't alleviate the throb. "Aren't you full of awesome advice."
His deep laughter usually riled me up. Not so much today. Alyssa and I told each other everything.
A loud, heavy hand banged against the front door. My mouth dried "Oh, shit."
"Ready or not?" Tristan dodged the boxers I threw at him on his way down the hall to the living room.
Slowly, very slowly, I followed behind.
"I know your chicken-shit ass is in there. Op–"
Tristan swung open the door catching Alyssa mid-knock.
"What's wrong?" She glared at Tristan.
"Nothing's wrong, shit. Why do you always jump to the worst-case scenario?"
Alyssa pushed past Tristan, clipping his shoulder in the process.
"So happy to see you, Amazon. Please, come inside."
"Don't start with me, Shrimp." Alyssa met me by the couch, both of us standing.
I started first. "Short version?"
She shrugged. "Any version would be great."
"Fine. Kellie, Tristan's ex, showed up on my way to meet y'all for lunch the other day. Apparently, she and Tristan have a son together."
A blush spread up Alyssa's neck to her forehead, but she remained silent.
"And she's dying."
As fast as the color came, it drained. "Oh my God."
"Here, drink this." Tristan handed her a beer, which she took.
"Elle." Her long hair whipped around her shoulder when she turned to face Tristan. "She never told you?"
/> "No, not until two days ago," I interrupted.
Her blue eyes turned icy. "When you stopped taking my calls."
"Go easy on my girl, Amazon." Tristan kissed my forehead. "I'll finish up laundry while you two settle things."
"Thanks," I said, and turned to Alyssa. "I didn't tell you because–"
"I'd lose my shit. And you're right." She held up a hand, cutting off my reply. "But only because you're my person." She scratched her upper arm. "You're the only person I have, and I don't like it when crap happens to you. So," she shrugged, "sometimes I go a little overboard."
Stopping her and enveloping her in a hug, I whispered, "I love you, too." Her squeeze was the only reply I got or needed.
"Give me the details," Alyssa demanded.
We sat on the couch, while I caught her up.
Alyssa shook her head. "You're sure she's not trying to get something out of this?"
She and Tristan's dad had similar thought processes. "Yeah, I really don't think so. But to be certain, Tristan went to a lab to be tested today. We should get those results back soon."
"Good, better safe than not." Alyssa frowned. "Are you okay? Especially after…?"
"I'm good. Really." I swallowed. "He's so beautiful, Alyssa."
I took out my phone and showed her the snaps of Tristan playing with Conner and some of Kellie and Tristan sitting on the floor with him, too. I'd planned to take as many pictures as possible before–no. Not thinking about it.
Her lips curved up in a small grin, her only acknowledgment. "So, graduation in three days, what are you wearing?" And just like that, she was back.
"The dress we bought a few weekends ago. The royal blue one."
"Good choice. Now that I know you're all right, I gotta get. Bret and I are meeting Rixon and Tisha for a late lunch." She flipped her hair. "Did you know she painted his bedroom pink? Pink."
No use in pointing out it was their room. "Wow, um, okay."
An evil sneer graced her lips. "Which is why we are meeting them for lunch." She waved. "I'll keep you posted on the drama."
"Can't wait." I rested against the doorframe and sighed. "Love you."
"Yeah, yeah." She skipped down the steps to her car. Sunglasses on and in place, Alyssa blew me a kiss and backed out of the driveway.
Interception (Distraction #3) Page 21