The Uncertain Years

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘My goodness,’ she gasped, fending off the excited animal. ‘Look how you’ve grown, Becky!’

  ‘Indeed you have, and not a trace of grease.’

  She stilled at the sound of the voice, all the air rushing out of her lungs in shock. That sounded just like David’s teasing tone, but it couldn’t be. Steeling herself for disappointment, she turned to face the door.

  At first she didn’t recognise the man standing there. He was gaunt and leaning on a stick, but Sara was beside him, clutching his other hand, and her brilliant smile said it all.

  ‘Daddy’s home!’ Sara jumped up and down in excitement.

  ‘David,’ was all she managed to say.

  ‘You said he would come back one day, and he did!’ Sara was bubbling with joy. ‘I told him you came to see us, and showed him the dolly you gave me. He said it was a beautiful gift, and it is because I love it. Grandma’s made more clothes for it and now we’re going to have a happy Christmas because my daddy will be with us. He can’t go back to work yet. He’s got to rest …’

  ‘Sara.’ Mrs Hammond laughed at her granddaughter’s antics. ‘Stop gabbling and let Rebecca say hello to your father.’

  The girl giggled and rushed over to hug Becky. ‘Grandma says I talk too much.’ Then she turned and tore back to her father. ‘Sit down, Daddy. You know you mustn’t stand up for too long.’

  David ruffled his daughter’s hair. ‘And you stop bouncing around and give me a chance to thank Rebecca for being kind to all of you.’

  ‘Sorry.’ She was still smiling as she went to sit with her grandmother.

  Speechless, Becky watched the scene, not being able to believe her eyes. The little girl obviously adored her father even though he was away for long periods at a time. But the grandparents were wise; there were photographs of him all over the place so that his daughter wouldn’t forget what he looked like.

  ‘Oh, where have you been?’ she managed to say at last, determined not to cry, knowing instinctively that he wouldn’t like that. ‘You’ve given us such a lot of worry.’

  ‘Is a reprimand the only kind of welcome home I’m going to get?’

  His eyes were shadowed with exhaustion, but they still held the glint of amusement she remembered, and she was happy to keep this meeting light-hearted. Although he was in casual clothes, she was in uniform, so she snapped to attention and saluted smartly. ‘I’m very relieved to see you home safely, Colonel … even if you have given us a terrible fright, sir.’ His laughter was infectious, and she stood there smiling. ‘Oh, it’s wonderful to see you again. As you’re not in uniform can I hug you?’

  He reached out his hand and pulled her towards him, and then she reached up and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. ‘Welcome home, David,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Thank you for looking after my family while I’ve been away.’

  ‘I was pleased to do what I could. They’re lovely people.’ When he released her she stepped back and turned towards his parents and Sara. ‘I’m so happy for you all.’

  ‘Thank you, Rebecca.’ Mr Hammond looked years younger. ‘You’ve been a tower of strength to us during these worrying months, and at a time when you’ve had your own heartaches and losses to cope with. You have a generous heart.’

  ‘Losses?’ David frowned. ‘What’s happened?’

  Mrs Hammond urged her son into a chair. ‘Rebecca’s house was bombed and two of their close friends were killed. The bomb completely destroyed their houses and they’ve lost everything, but she never once stopped caring about us, or you.’

  ‘That’s terrible.’ David’s mouth set in a grim line. ‘Where are your parents now?’

  ‘They’ve found a house to rent in East Sheen. They’re sharing it with our next-door neighbours.’

  ‘You tell me if they need anything.’

  ‘Thank you, but there’s no need. They’ve settled in the new house, and are coping well.’

  ‘Can we have tea soon, Grandma?’ Sara couldn’t stay still for much longer. ‘Rebecca must be hungry, and Daddy’s got to eat lots.’

  ‘In a few minutes.’ Mrs Hammond smiled at Becky. ‘Can you stay for a while?’

  ‘I’m not on duty until tomorrow morning.’ She was bursting with questions, but she knew the subject of his survival would not be discussed in front of the little girl. And David might not even be able to talk about it at all. Many who had traumatic experiences were never willing to talk about them.

  Tea was a lively affair, with Sara making most of the conversation. At seven o’clock, Mrs Hammond and David disappeared to put Sara to bed, and Becky took her chance to speak to Mr Hammond alone.

  ‘How badly is he hurt?’ was her first question.

  ‘He’s had bullet wounds to his side and leg. We’ve managed to glean some information from him, but he’s not willing to go into detail. After the last of the boats left Dunkirk, he avoided the advancing Germans and made his way inland. He speaks fluent French, which was a help, and a family gave him civilian clothes and helped him move across the country. Of course being out of uniform was highly dangerous, because if the Germans had caught him he could have been shot as a spy. He won’t talk about the journey, but from the look of him we can assume it was very arduous. It was right on the border with Switzerland that he ran into a German patrol and nearly got caught. The men helping him managed to get him across, even though he was injured. He doesn’t remember much after that, and as he wasn’t carrying any identification no one knew who he really was, not even the people who had helped him. All anyone knew was that he was a British army officer. The next thing he was aware of was being on a plane. He was taken to Aldershot Military Hospital, and being so close to home, he refused to stay.’

  ‘He still looks very weak.’ Becky was awed by his courage. ‘When did he arrive home?’

  ‘Three days ago. We wrote to you at once.’ Mr Hammond’s smile spread. ‘A taxi arrived at the door, and I went to see who it was. Then David got out, hardly able to stand, and all he said was, “Hello, Dad. Pay the taxi for me, I haven’t got any money.” It took me back to when he was a teenager. He used to do the very same thing.’

  They were both smiling when David came back. ‘You both look amused.’

  His father laughed. ‘I was just telling Rebecca about the times you used to come home in a taxi and ask me to pay the fare for you. Is Sara asleep?’

  David nodded. ‘All the excitement has worn her out. She has grown over the last few months, and that puppy is going to be enormous.’

  ‘She’s been a brave little girl.’ Mrs Hammond joined them. ‘She’s been fretting because you didn’t come home, but Rebecca and the puppy have been such a help.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t do anything,’ Becky protested.

  ‘But you did, my dear,’ Mr Hammond insisted. ‘We had that lovely letter from your brother, and you’ve visited whenever you could. But most importantly, you talked to Sara, giving her hope and comfort. And don’t forget you gave her that beautiful doll, which I suspect was a treasured possession.’

  Becky was embarrassed by the praise. ‘I was glad to do it.’

  ‘This is the first I’ve heard about a letter.’ David was frowning again.

  ‘David, you need rest so we haven’t bothered you with too much information,’ his mother told him. ‘The letter was from Becky’s brother to her, but she very kindly allowed us to keep it.’

  ‘I’d like to see it.’

  ‘Why not leave it for a while until you’re stronger? It will bring back painful memories of Dunkirk.’

  When David glared at his father, Becky could see the steel in his character. It was something she hadn’t noticed before, but guessed he was probably alive today because of that trait.

  Mr Hammond obviously knew his son wasn’t going to back down, so without another word, he stood up and retrieved the letter from the bureau. Then he handed it to his son. ‘The last four pages contain William’s account of Dunkirk; the rest is a personal letter to Rebec
ca.’

  ‘Thanks, Dad.’ David turned immediately to the relevant pages. When he’d finished reading he looked up at Becky. ‘That young boy in the boat was your brother?’

  ‘Yes, he’s a reporter and jumped on a boat to help the owner. They made two trips, but had to give up when the owner was injured and the boat damaged. They got the men safely back though.’ She spoke with pride. ‘He’s a war correspondent now.’

  David took a deep breath. ‘Those men in the little boats saved a lot of lives. I would like to know more about your brother, so would you allow me to read the rest of his letter?’

  ‘Of course, if you’d like to. It’s only family chatter though.’ She watched his expression as he read, wondering what on earth he could possibly want with news about people he didn’t know. When she heard him chuckle, she knew. It was ordinary life, and that was something that he had been missing over the last few, dreadful months.

  ‘Your brother writes well, and I like the sound of your friends.’ He folded the letter carefully and slipped it into the top pocket of his jacket. ‘So, tell me how you’re getting on.’

  ‘Quite well.’ She pointed to the stripe on her sleeve and grinned. ‘I can drive lorries now, and I’ve learnt a lot about engines. Army life seems to suit me.’

  ‘You’ve done well, but I knew you would.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Noticing how exhausted he looked, she stood up. ‘I ought to be getting back.’

  Mr Hammond also got to his feet. ‘I’ll drive you back.’

  ‘Oh, there’s no need, Mr Hammond. I can catch the bus.’

  ‘I insist.’

  David hauled himself out of the chair. ‘You’ll come again? I shall be disappointed if you stop visiting now I’m home.’

  ‘Of course I’ll come, but it won’t be until the New Year. I’m spending Christmas with my family.’

  ‘In that case …’ Mrs Hammond took a parcel out of the bureau and handed it to Becky. ‘This is from all of us, with our thanks for your kindness.’

  ‘Oh, thank you.’ She smiled at them all in turn. ‘I know you’ll have a lovely Christmas now. And you take it easy, Colonel, you need plenty of sleep.’

  He smiled broadly and leant down to kiss her cheek. ‘We’ll see you after the holiday. And I promise to spend most of the time sleeping and eating.’

  Chapter Seventeen

  Although the house they were living in didn’t seem like home to Becky, she couldn’t have been happier. Bob had arrived on Christmas Eve, and so had her brother. ‘It’s a shame Jim couldn’t make it.’

  ‘I think if Jim was offered leave he wouldn’t have taken it,’ Bob said. ‘I don’t suppose he wanted to come here. It would have been very difficult for him without his mum and dad.’

  Becky’s father agreed. ‘He’ll probably feel better staying with his army friends. There won’t be so many painful memories that way. He needs more time to get over the death of his parents.’

  ‘You’re quite right, dear,’ his wife said. ‘Goodness knows the loss is hard enough for us to come to terms with, but he wouldn’t want us to be miserable. We must count our blessings. Becky, Will and Bob are here.’

  ‘And I’ve got some wonderful news.’ Becky had only arrived home two hours ago and hadn’t had a chance to say anything. ‘David is alive and well. He just turned up in a taxi one day.’

  ‘What? He survived?’ Will was sitting bolt upright with interest. ‘Where has he been all this time?’

  They all listened intently to Becky, and the good news helped to cheer them all up, and set the tone for the holiday. No matter how bad things were at times, it was lovely to know that good things were happening as well.

  They talked long into the night, and no one bothered to get up until the middle of the morning. Then the men went off to the pub for a drink while Becky stayed at home to help prepare the Christmas lunch.

  After the dishes had been cleared, they all sat down with a nice cup of tea and gave out the presents. By necessity the gifts were modest this year, as they were still trying to recover from the bombing. Clothes had had to be replaced, and it was expensive, so the gifts were useful things like socks, gloves and scarves. Except for one bulky parcel with Becky’s name on it.

  ‘We’ve all clubbed together to get you this, darling.’ Her mother smiled as she handed the package to her daughter. ‘You won’t always want to be in uniform.’

  She opened it and pulled out a winter coat in a lovely shade of red, which suited her dark colouring. ‘Oh, it’s beautiful!’ she exclaimed. ‘Thank you so much, but you really shouldn’t have bought me such an expensive present.’

  ‘We couldn’t have our girl going out on dates not looking her best,’ her mother said fondly. ‘We chose a nice cheerful colour as well.’

  ‘It’s perfect.’ Becky then went round the room and gave everyone a hug. ‘I love it.’

  ‘We knew you would. As soon as we saw it your father said that was the one we must buy.’

  ‘Perfect taste, as always, Dad.’ Then something her mother had said struck home. ‘What dates?’

  ‘You’re surrounded by men,’ her father teased. ‘Are you telling us you never get asked out?’

  ‘And now your colonel’s home …’ her mother persisted.

  She could see the way their minds were working and knew she had to put them straight on the subject. ‘It’s not like that, Mum. You know he helped me get the posting I wanted, and I’ve been visiting his parents and his little daughter. They were grateful for Will’s account of Dunkirk. It gave them some comfort, and I just tried to help them, that’s all.’

  ‘So you’ve said before.’ Her mother clearly didn’t believe there wasn’t a romance between them. ‘You’ve got another parcel here. Who’s this from?’

  ‘Mrs Hammond gave it to me from all of them.’ Inside was a hand-knitted cardigan in cream. The wool was so soft Becky held it up to her face. ‘I’ll be lovely and warm with this under my new coat.’

  ‘That’s beautifully made, and the wool must have cost a fortune.’ Becky’s mother looked in the box. ‘There’s something else in there.’

  It was a child’s painting of the puppy, and Becky laughed in delight, holding it out for them all to see. ‘Meet Becky. David named the puppy after me because it was bound to get into mischief.’

  ‘He’s right about that,’ Will smirked. ‘How old did you say his daughter was?’

  ‘I never asked, but I would say she’s between three and four.’

  She held out the drawing to get a better view of it. ‘Sara’s done well; it does look like the puppy. I’ll stick it in my locker at camp.’

  She missed the knowing looks being passed around the others as she began to clear up the wrappings littering the room. ‘What have you been up to, Will? You haven’t said much in your letters.’

  ‘They’re keeping me busy,’ he said evasively.

  ‘Doing what?’

  ‘At the moment I’m recording a commentary for a news report.’

  ‘Is it going to be on the wireless then?’

  ‘Hmm.’

  ‘This is the first we’ve heard about a recording.’ His father gave Will an enquiring look. ‘When’s it going to be broadcast?’

  ‘I don’t know yet.’

  ‘What’s it about?’ his father persisted.

  ‘I can’t tell you that, Dad. You know how things are.’ Will was obviously uncomfortable discussing the subject. ‘You’ll find out when it’s released.’

  ‘All this secrecy is frustrating,’ his mother declared. ‘We just don’t know what our children are up to.’

  ‘No, we don’t.’ Bob’s mother stared pointedly at her son. ‘And they never say a word about where they’ve been, or what they’re doing. Anyone would think we were spies.’

  Bob grinned and stood up. ‘I think I’ll walk off some of the Christmas lunch, to make room for tea. You coming, Will? Becky?’

  ‘Don’t stay out too long,’ his mother scolded. ‘There’s
a nasty north wind blowing today.’

  ‘That should wake us up.’ Will shot to his feet, and pulled Becky out of her chair. ‘Come on, lazy bones.’

  The three of them disappeared, glad to get away from all the probing questions.

  ‘Phew! Thanks, Bob.’ Will wiped his forehead in mock dismay. ‘I’ll spoil their Christmas if I tell them what the programme’s about.’

  Becky grabbed her brother’s arm, suspicious. ‘What have you been up to, William Adams?’

  ‘You’ll have to wait like everyone else.’ He continued walking and winked at Bob. ‘She always was inquisitive.’

  ‘Don’t I know it!’

  Becky wasn’t about to give up, so she started on Bob next.

  ‘You’re keeping very quiet. Do you know what this crazy brother of mine has been up to?’

  ‘As a matter of fact I do. And believe me, you don’t want to know.’

  Now she was worried. ‘Come on, Will, you can tell me.’

  ‘Nope.’ He shook his head, determined.

  Knowing she wasn’t going to get them to talk, she sighed. ‘You boys!’

  It was a week into the New Year before Becky was able to visit the Hammonds again. She had written a long letter thanking them for the lovely present, and praising Sara for the drawing. Mrs Hammond had replied, but not a word from David. She hoped he was all right.

  She pulled the collar of her coat up as she walked towards the house. 1941 had brought cold winds with it and she was grateful to have her new coat. At least she wouldn’t have to visit in her uniform. The only frock she had now was a summer one, but the cream cardigan went with it nicely.

  ‘Rebecca!’ Sara rushed to meet her as soon as she stepped inside the door, but the dog beat the little girl and nearly sent Becky flying.

  ‘Careful.’ Mrs Hammond caught the animal. ‘We’re really going to have to teach this wriggling tornado some manners. Come in, Rebecca.’

  There was no sign of David in the lounge, but she didn’t have a chance to ask about him. Sara was waving her arm to show the bracelet on her wrist.