by Chase, PJ
The training sessions with Jimmy were grueling. On the breaks, Colin liked the levity that Patrick brought to the gym. Patrick was always there with a joke. At the same time, Colin and Patrick's personal lives couldn't have been more different. While Colin was all too single, Patrick had been married for years. He even had a kid. And while Colin was desperate to settle down himself, Patrick offered a reality check about the married life.
"You really argued about toilet paper?" Colin replied.
"I know it sounds crazy. I mean look, it's not like I meant to argue over something so ridiculous, but we'd both had a long day at work and we were worn out. Then before we knew it, we were taking out our frustrations out on each other--over who's fault it was that we ran out of toilet paper," Patrick explained.
"Hey, at least you have a wife," Colin admitted.
"Dude man, there's shit you don't understand about being married," Patrick said.
"Yeah. Like arguing about who's fault it is when you run out of toilet paper," Colin joked. "I guess the important question is, whose fault was it?"
"Alright wise guy. You've made your point. I know it was a bullshit stupid argument," Patrick remarked. "But that's the point. It's just funny how sometimes you argue about the craziest shit when you're married."
"Look man. You can complain all you want, but I'd still take your life," Colin said.
Patrick shook his head in disbelief. "I don't know what's wrong with you. You're going to be retiring soon. That easy pussy you could be getting right now is going to go away. You have to get in there while the getting is still good."
"Been there, done that, got tired of it. Besides, I've tried fighting single before. I just find it easier staying focused if I'm in a relationship instead of just chasing the next piece of tail," Colin explained.
"Dude, there's plenty of time to get married. You have the whole rest of your life to get married actually. But the window for boning badass babes is closing," Patrick insisted.
"Let it close," Colin said.
Patrick groaned. "You're killing me man."
Colin's trainer Jimmy then came over.
"Ladies, are you done here?" Jimmy said. "We have a fight to train for."
***
Colin knew he had to get his love life back on track. And it wasn't just because it would help him for the fight. It was because Colin was tired of being single. He was ready to start the next phase of his life. And for that phase, he wanted to fall in love. Ironically, while Colin was at a low point in his search for love, those closest to him seemed to be at their high point.
That's how Colin found himself at the wedding of his old friend Brant. Now Colin was happy for his old friend. It had taken Brant a long time to find "the one." There had been a lot of bumps along the road. Brant's story actually mirrored Colin's story a lot. The only difference was that Brant had already found his happy ending.
Colin was tired of feeling sorry for himself though. And there was no better place to jump back into the dating scene that at a wedding. Bridesmaids were everywhere. Romance was in the air. The mood was set. What could go wrong?
Then Colin got to the wedding and realized just how awful his luck was. He'd managed to get invited to the one wedding where no one seemed to be single but Colin. The maid of honor, the bridesmaids, even the extended families of the bride and groom--everyone was romantically attached. It was unbelievable. What were the odds that the singles scene at a wedding would be so non existent? Colin wanted nothing more than to dig into the buffet at the reception. But he knew he couldn't. He was in training for his next fight. There was no room there for indulging in cake or other goodies.
At the reception, Colin's friend Mary couldn't help but notice that Colin wasn't having the time of his life. But Mary had news to change that.
"Colin, just the man I've been looking for," Mary said.
Mary was so stranger to heartbreak. She'd been dumped by her long time boyfriend shortly before the wedding. Being on the mend was hardly a treat for Mary. That's why she hoped for a better fate for Colin. All Colin had to do was look into Mary's eyes to tell she was plotting something.
"Uh oh. What's going on?" Colin asked.
"Oh come on Colin. Can't your old friend just be happy to see you without there being ulterior motives?" Mary replied.
"I don't know. Can you?" Colin fired back.
"Ok fine. So look, one of my friends was asking about you," Mary said.
"Wait. What? Are you serious?" Colin wondered.
"Of course," Mary admitted.
"Is she here?" Colin asked.
"Yeah. She's right over on the dance floor," Mary said.
How did Colin miss a single woman at the wedding? He thought he'd covered all the bases. But clearly he missed someone. Maybe Colin's luck was finally turning around after all.
"What's she like?" Colin wondered.
"Well, she's very pretty. She's a chef. She's amazing smart. She likes hiking and doing yoga. Not to mention she has a great sense of humor," Mary explained.
"Do I know her?" Colin asked.
"Not yet," Mary said.
"Then how does she know about me?" Colin wondered.
"I pointed her out to you during the ceremony. Then as I started telling her about you, she said she wanted to meet you," Mary said. "You guys are going to get along great."
"We'll see about that," Colin replied.
"No, I'm serious. She's been having a hell of time trying to find the right guy. She went through this awful break up with her last boyfriend, and has been trying to pick up the pieces. Does that sound like anyone you know?" Mary asked.
"No, not at all," Colin joked.
"So what do you say, do you want to meet her?" Mary asked.
Colin finally caught a break. He was excited to see what Mary's friend was like. But he also remained cautiously optimistic. He'd found that sometimes women had a tendency to oversell their friends. Beautiful sometimes ended up being cute. Smart ended up being average. And very funny had a tendency of being mildly amusing.
Colin hoped that Mary was right though. After so much of Colin's life seemed to be about getting things done the hard way, an easy re-entry into the dating scene would be awesome. But Colin's excitement proved to be short lived. As Mary spotted her friend Teresa on the dance floor, she realized that Teresa was no longer alone.
While Mary was talking with Colin, Teresa had decided to get busy on the dance floor. So just as Mary was about to point Teresa out, Colin was in for the surprise of his life. It turned out that Teresa was just as pretty as Mary had advertised. But it also turned out that Teresa was suddenly totally accounted for.
Mary and Colin watched from the buffet table as Teresa put her tongue in a strangers mouth on the dance floor. Teresa and the stranger were grinding up on each other as frisky as could be. Then the stranger started putting his hands all over Teresa, and she ate it right up. Things were sure getting graphic in a hurry.
Mary and Colin meanwhile just stood on the side with their jaws hanging open.
"She's not usually like this," Mary said.
"Uh huh," Colin replied, in disbelief.
"She has had a lot to drink tonight though," Mary said.
"You think?" Colin joked.
And like that, Colin's bubble burst.
Chapter Eight
Julie
Things didn't get better for Julie when she went grocery shopping the next day.
"Todd Smith, look at you," Julie said.
Julie felt like she was at a school reunion all of a sudden. Everywhere Julie went, she seemed to run into a guy from her past. And Todd was no different.
Julie and Todd dated back in high school. Todd was the first bad boy that Julie ever met. Back in high school, he used to have long hair, a tattoo, a leather jacket, zero interest in going to class, and drove a motorcycle. It was so cliché that Julie was almost ashamed that she fell for it.
Their entire relationship seemed to consist of making out unde
r the bleachers any chance they could get. But what Julie didn't realize at the time was their relationship was doomed from the start. Guys like Todd weren't interested in serious relationships. They were practically allergic to commitment. So when Julie refused to go all the way with Todd, he moved on to an easier lay. At the time, Julie was crushed. But Julie hadn't thought of Todd in years. And now there he was, right in front of her, looking like the only thing that had changed over the years was the number of tattoos on his arms.
The man was a human canvas. He was wearing a tank top, and every inch of his chest and arms were covered in tats. It was amazing. Julie tried to keep from staring, but it was hard not to.
"Damn. Julie King. You haven't changed a bit," Todd said.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Julie asked.
"Are you kidding? You're smoking hot. Always have been," Todd said.
"Well thanks. I see you've gotten a couple more tattoos since I last saw you," Julie replied.
"I've got forty-nine now," Todd revealed.
"Wow, that uh--really something," Julie said.
"I'm holding off on the fiftieth one though. I want it to be special," Todd admitted.
"Of course. What's more special than your fiftieth tattoo?" Julie joked.
"How about you?" Todd asked.
"What do you mean?" Julie replied.
"How many tattoos do you have?" Todd wondered.
Julie laughed. "None."
"Well, I can change that. I'll even get you a great deal," Todd said.
"Thanks, but that's ok," Julie replied.
"Are you sure? You never forget your first time. Besides, my staff will take care of you," Todd insisted.
"Staff?" Julie asked.
"Yeah. Don't you know? I own a tattoo parlor," Todd said.
Julie couldn't have been more surprised. "You own your own business?" Even if it was a tattoo parlor, the fact that Todd owned his own business was incredible.
"I know it's crazy, right?" Todd replied.
"I'll say. I can honestly say I never pictured you being someone's boss one day," Julie said.
"I'm actually seven people's boss," Todd admitted.
Julie was in complete disbelief.
"Wow, that's unbelievable. What are you going to tell me next, that you're married too?" Julie joked.
"Actually, yeah," Todd said.
"Are you serious?" Julie asked, completely reeling.
"Well, I'm engaged. But I'll be married in a month," Todd explained.
Julie shook her head. "Wow. That's amazing. Congratulations."
"Look, sometimes I can hardly believe it myself," Todd admitted. "I mean, aren't I the last person you ever pegged to get married?"
That was the height of irony considering how much Julie wanted to get married herself, and yet how far she actually was from walking down the aisle.
"But hey, if I can settle down, anyone can," Todd joked back.
Julie couldn't believe it. It just didn't seem fair. Even the most likely of men from Julie's past was settling down. Julie could feel the walls closing in on her. It was time for desperate measures.
Chapter Nine
Colin
After the wedding, Colin wasn't sure how to regroup. He knew that he needed a new plan of attack. He even considered going out to a bar to meet a woman. But in the end, he reconsidered. Colin didn't have the best history with bars. First off, he couldn't really indulge while training for a fight. But more importantly, it was the people in bars that caused trouble.
Colin didn't really consider himself to be a celebrity. He wasn't some big time actor or rock star. He was just a fighter. But because of his history in MMA, he was recognizable enough to a large enough segment of the population. The last time he went out to a bar, things didn't end well. All the women he met were gold diggers. They didn't care about him at all. They didn't want to get to know him for who he really was. And the men all had different things on their mind. Some were just fans. They'd want a simple autograph. Others were fans of another fighter and tried to heckle Colin from across the bar. But the so called tough guys were the worst. Those guys would try to show off in front of their girlfriends by picking a fight with Colin. Those were the kinds of assholes that ruined Colin's night. And he just didn't need the hassle.
Colin would have to go about meeting women a different way. He was hoping to find a woman that didn't know who he was ahead of time. That didn't know he was an MMA fighter. That just wanted to get to know him for who he really was. Colin didn't know where to meet that woman though. So Colin just went back to work training at the gym the next day. Halfway through the training session though, Colin's friend Mary showed up.
***
"Sorry to bother you here," Mary said.
"No, that's ok. I was on a break anyway," Colin replied. "So what's up?"
"I feel awful about what happened at the wedding," Mary said.
"Don't worry about it," Colin replied. "It wasn't your fault."
"Still, you deserve better than that. So when my husband went to sleep last night, I stayed up thinking of who I could set you up with," Mary said.
"Trust me, you don't have to do that. Maybe it all was for the best. Maybe I'm not quite as ready to hit the dating scene as I thought," Colin stated.
"Oh yeah you are. Hell yeah you are. Look, you need to get on with your life. And I think I found just the person to do it with," Mary said.
"Mary, no offense, but I think I'm going to find my own dates. You don't exactly have the best track record," Colin replied.
"What, so one of my friends happens to be dry humping on the dance floor with some stranger and it ruins my whole track record?" Mary joked.
"Well, when you put it that way--"
"Look, just give me a chance to redeem myself here," Mary insisted.
Colin looked into Mary's eyes. She'd clearly put a bunch of thought into this.
"Alright. What have you got for me?" Colin asked.
"Sweet. You won't regret this," Mary said.
"Let's hope not," Colin replied.
"Look, her name is Vanessa. She's a really sweet girl. She's a paralegal. She likes photography and improv comedy. What could possibly go wrong? So what do you say?"
***
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Colin admitted.
It had been ages since Colin had gone on a date. At least it wasn't blind though. Luckily Mary had some pictures of Vanessa on her phone and she looked totally normal. But Colin had learned that looks could be deceiving. The date started off well though. To start, Vanessa had no idea who Colin was. She didn't know that he was a pro MMA fighter. Colin liked that. He could start out fresh with her. He could show her who he really was. Besides, after his next fight, he'd be retired from MMA anyway.
Vanessa was a nice girl that wore her heart on her sleeve. And with a tender, sensitive side like hers, it was easy to see how vulnerable she was. Vanessa had a deer in the headlights look. Partially because she was going out with a new man, but also because she was still trying to recover from the heartbreak of being left by her old boyfriend.
There was also a dreamy optimism to Vanessa. A hopeless romantic streak that had been wounded by the break up. So when Colin noticed Vanessa gazing wistfully out at the sunset as he drove to the restaurant for dinner, Colin could tell there was more at play than just her being interested in the scenery.
"It's a pretty day out, isn't it?" Colin asked.
"Yeah. Fall is my favorite season. The air gets nice and crisp, the leaves change colors, and it's the best time of the year to get a nice warm apple pie," Vanessa said.
Vanessa then got self conscious when she saw Colin smiling at her.
"What, did I do something?" Vanessa wondered.
"It's just that it was so cute the way you said that," Colin admitted.
"You think I look cute?" Vanessa asked.
"Are you kidding? You look gorgeous," Colin said. "I don't even know how you're single."
&n
bsp; Vanessa started blushing. "You can ask my ex that if you want."
"I'd prefer not to," Colin said.
"You're right," Vanessa replied.
"You're more than just beautiful though. You have this great excitement about you. This optimism. An unjaded view of the world. A childlike wonder that I don't see in people our age very often," Colin followed up.
Vanessa suddenly tensed up. "Childlike wonder?"
"Did I say something wrong?" Colin asked.
"It's just that my boyfriend...I mean my ex-boyfriend used to make fun of me for being childish," Vanessa admitted.
"Damn, that's cruel," Colin remarked.
"Yeah. He could be that way sometimes," Vanessa said.
"I'm not like that. I wasn't being cruel. I was actually paying you a compliment," Colin replied.
"Oh yeah?" Vanessa asked.
"Yeah. It's rare to meet someone that's not jaded these days. Not disaffected. But you aren't. And in this day and age, that's rare."
Vanessa meanwhile seemed to be caught up in another train of thought. "Now that I think about it, my boyfriend was awfully cruel a lot of the time."
That comment seemed to come out of left field to Colin. "Ok. I'm not sure where that came from."
"Sorry. I'm sure me complaining about my ex is the last thing you want to hear. It's just that the break up is still so new and painful," Vanessa explained.
"Trust me, I understand what it's like to have a grease fire of a break up, but--"
Vanessa then let her emotions get the best of her again and interrupted Colin. "It just sucks, doesn't it? I mean, you give your heart away to someone. You start thinking that life can't get any better. Then before you know it, your life can't get any worse when you catch the man you love getting it on with his assistant."
"Again, I'm sorry about what happened to you. But maybe we should talk about something else," Colin suggested.