15
“THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. I can’t believe you don’t sit out here more often.”
Matt and Carly relaxed on the third-story balcony of his waterfront condominium in southern Marin, watching the sun settle over the hills to the west. The night sky was a bright shade of pink, turning deeper and more radiant as each minute passed.
Inside the double French doors was the master suite, where soft ballads wafted through the air from his bedroom stereo. Matt hadn’t expected them to end up out here. The main living area was downstairs on the second floor over the two-car tandem garage that made up the ground level. This third floor only housed his master bedroom and a second room he used for storage.
After their dinner, he’d come up here to change, Carly following him for what he’d expected would be the typical nightcap of great sex that had become their regular habit. But one look at the bright pink sky and they’d found themselves on the balcony he never used, relaxing casually while they watched a rare beautiful sunset unhampered by the typical evening fog.
He took a swig of his beer. “Usually when I’m up here I’m either sleeping, showering or…busy.” He shot her a wink.
She sank low in the cushy upholstered chair they’d stolen from his bedroom and lazily watched the sunset. “I think it’s good I don’t have a view like this. I’d get lost in the beauty of it and never get anything done.”
Matt looked toward the hills and the view he’d paid handsomely for, realizing that, aside from the day he’d first toured the condo and noticed the stunning skyline, he rarely, if ever, took the time to sit and enjoy it. That was, of course, before Carly. She had a way of stopping at every turn and making him see the obvious in front of him. Sunsets, kids playing in the park, a bright orange field of poppies—it was always something with her. She had a different way of looking at the world, and over these last few weeks, Matt had been enjoying seeing it through her eyes.
It was a positive vision, filled with hope and wonder. Where he’d spent a lifetime living in cynicism, being angry at most things and not caring to treasure the rest, Carly spent hers looking for the beauty in everything she crossed.
Including him.
He found her optimism contagious, her happiness a drug that soothed and warmed the tension from the day, and the more time he spent around her, the more he craved that dose of sunshine.
In front of them, the sky darkened to deep purple and then to smoky gray, when finally Carly clutched her arms and shivered, the warm evening turning chilly in typical San Francisco Bay fashion. Pulling from his chair, he held out a hand.
“Let’s go in. Looks like the show’s over.”
Her bright eyes darkened to something seductive. “I need warming up.”
They stepped inside and he closed the doors behind him, and within seconds they’d shed their clothes and landed under the covers of his oversize bed. Her skin was gooseflesh, her nipples puckered from cold, and he spooned her against him to bring heat back through her veins.
Her hair felt like satin against his chest, her body folding into his with that perfect fit that felt made just for him. Smothering his hands over her until she warmed in his embrace, he soaked in her very essence, trying to remember a time when he was this at peace with his heart and his life. Only back in the early days before his parents’ divorce, back before his father dismissed him and his mother grew bitter, had he known this kind of inner tranquility. It felt good but only vaguely familiar, comforting and unsettling all at once, and as he held her close he tried to reconcile the mix of emotions that had begun rattling his sense of security. He’d been feeling it for days, not sure what to do with it or where to place it in the tidy world he’d built for himself.
She turned in his arms and pressed a cold nose against his chest. “I had an idea.”
Carly had a lot of ideas. Sometimes he wondered if she spent half her day thinking up new things to do with him in bed.
Not that he was complaining.
“What have you come up with this time?”
She looked up at him, clearly put off. “Well. If my ideas are growing old with you, I can always call it a night.” He caught her playful smile just before she rolled over and began fluffing her pillow.
He rolled her back. “Nothing about you is ever going to get old with me.” Then he closed his mouth over hers.
She sank back against the pillow, and he slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her hips against a fast-growing erection. Almost nightly sex and still he hadn’t begun to whet his appetite for this woman, his body feeling almost abandoned when it wasn’t enveloped in hers. It was a strange phenomenon for a man who used to bore easily and tended to get itchy when people got too close. With Carly, his only itch was a constant need for her, and as he began kissing a path down her neck, he considered the many ways he might scratch it.
“I want to hear your idea,” he muttered against her shoulder.
She whispered something about vibrators and that cozy chair they’d left out on the balcony, and while intrigued, Matt wasn’t in the mood to leave the bed and go fetch it. In fact, at the moment he was overcome with a need to simply hold her in his arms and sink between her legs. Tonight the notoriety of wild and kinky sex had a cheapness to it he couldn’t put into words, and while he enjoyed their common fetish, he felt a sudden urge to get right inside her where they were. To take her straight and close, where he could slip into her gaze and watch her blossom beneath him.
Rolling her onto her back, he moved over her, nudging her thighs apart and resting his hips between them. He cupped her face in his hands and studied the pleasured look of anticipation in her eyes, then spoke through a series of kisses.
“I like that idea,” he said, nudging his cock against her slick core. “But tonight I think I’d like this better.” Then he slid inside, her eyes lolling shut as his thick shaft filled her.
He closed his mouth over hers, shoving his tongue far inside, and when he did, something seemed to snap deep within him.
Nestling his body into hers, a driving need began to build, a need to consume, to dig in and grab hold of some piece of her he could hang on to. Suddenly sex didn’t feel like enough. Simply pleasuring her felt too slight for the ache in his chest, and he clasped one hand against her ass, arching her into him to drive this desire deeper.
And it wasn’t enough.
As he moved over her, caressing his hands over her hot flesh, stroking his cock through her core, sucking and tasting every spot his mouth could reach, a growing hunger formed in his chest. A hunger so deep and tragic he didn’t know how to feed it. It swelled with every stroke, with every press of his lips to hers, and he quickened the pace, thrusting harder and deeper, hoping speed and force might quench the thirst.
Her breath came out in pants, her eyes growing delighted as he tightened his grip on her and tried to pull her closer. He felt like a speeding train, gaining momentum yet spinning out of control with no way to stop the force.
He felt an aching need for release, for some sort of finality, but with every stroke the yearning only grew.
Sweat broke out on his skin and he raised himself, bracing against the mattress to drive harder, deeper and faster. Carly’s face flushed, her expression a mix of pain and bliss. Grunts escaped her chest with every hard thrust, and in a sudden breath of panic he asked, “Am I hurting you?”
She shook her head and gripped her hands around his wrists. “Don’t stop,” she panted. “Go, go.”
He lost the air in his lungs, pleasure swelling between his legs but the thirsty void in his chest only grew with every thrust. He wanted to come fast and hard, thinking only a searing release might stop the torment, and the faster he moved, the higher he crested.
Her fingers dug into his wrists, need seared in her eyes, a sharp cry spilling from her throat each time he slapped deep against her. And every time he feared he was humping too hard, she simply cried out, “Harder.”
His legs trembled, his muscles burned.
Underneath him Carly arched and curved, trying to greet the force thrust by thrust. His cock ached to the point of pain, the strain nearly splitting him apart, and just as he began to fear the fierce climax edging to the surface, she threw her head back and cried out in searing release.
He instantly followed, their bodies jerking and buckling as he spilled himself inside her. The waves were cresting hard and fast, crashing against him one right after the other until there was nothing left of him to give. The climax split so quickly it hurt, her hot body clamping tight around him as she reached to his chest and dug her fingers in the flesh. Friction mounted, more waves trickled through him, finally slowing and easing until he collapsed next to her. Scooping her tightly in his arms, he pressed his face against her chest and squeezed his eyes shut to the sensation.
“Oh, wow,” she gasped. “That was incredible.”
But Matt couldn’t answer. Something inside him had broken open, something frightening and foreign yet comforting and warm. And as he held her damp body in his arms and clutched her like he couldn’t let go, he understood what had happened.
He’d fallen desperately in love.
ADAM STOOD IN Matt’s new office and whistled. “Wow, these are some upscale digs.”
Matt couldn’t argue. Sitting in the center of a mahogany U-shaped desk ensemble, the large leather executive chair cushy at his back, he felt a bit like a king.
Even given the size of his desk, there was still space in the office for a mahogany conference table and four upholstered chairs, a matching couch and two club chairs. One entire wall provided a view of Lakeford Park, and after watching Carly ogle it, he’d acknowledged not every manager in this business got treated so well.
Heck, at Web Tactics managers only got a slightly bigger cubicle and a modest pay increase. But Hall knew how to retain the people he wanted and had never dismissed the appeal of money and perks. For two years Matt had been staring at these empty offices wishing one of them would be his, and finally it had happened.
Now if he could only be happy about it.
“This is amazing,” Carly said, then she lowered her voice. “I think this is nicer than Frank’s office. The furniture is newer, for sure.”
Though she was putting up a good front, Matt could see that something in her eyes had changed. There was a hardening to her stance, a protectiveness, as if she’d put up a shield of defense expecting things between them to change.
He definitely wanted things between them to change, but not in the way she expected.
For over a week Matt had been planning a special evening for the two of them where he would profess his love for her and talk about their futures, but before he could arrange it, Hall had announced his promotion and turned his world on end. Every day and night the man had been at his side, making plans and barking orders, filling every instant with meetings and arrangements. Matt expected that things would be hectic for the moment, but what he hadn’t expected was the feeling that somehow he and Carly were being pulled apart, and he feared that even a profession of love wouldn’t put things back together.
“Has Frank seen it?” Adam asked.
“He stopped in a few minutes ago,” Carly replied. “He didn’t have much to say.”
“He’ll get over it,” Matt said. “After all, he was the one with the new office once. It’s a rite of passage.”
Moving to the door, Adam stopped at the threshold. “Well, congratulations again, buddy. We’re all happy for you.” Then he added before leaving, “You need some accessories. That one Chinese take-out menu you had tacked to your cube isn’t going to hack it in the big office.”
“Yeah, I’ll get right on it.”
And then he and Carly were alone, Matt stuck with that pit of discomfort he’d felt ever since Hall had promoted him. Getting this big office was supposed to have righted everything wrong in his life. He’d wanted to be the best at something, to climb to the top of his field and bask in the view with a sense of pride and satisfaction. And more importantly, he’d wanted to outscore his old man.
Though Jeff Jacobs made a decent living selling insurance, Matt had officially surpassed that career with this leap onto executive row, and this was the moment Matt had always believed would reconcile his soul. He’d needed this. He’d needed this confirmation, proof that if he tried, he could be better than the stock he came from. But instead of having glory, it all felt empty.
Because, since falling in love with Carly, Jeff Jacobs wasn’t the person he cared to prove himself to anymore.
“So,” Carly said. “What time will you be by tonight?”
“Tonight?”
She frowned. “Dinner with my mother?”
He winced. He knew there was something he was supposed to have handled this afternoon. “I’m sorry, hon, but Brayton called a late meeting tonight.”
She couldn’t hide the disappointment in her eyes despite the shrug and forced smile. “That’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, then, for Jodi’s game.”
His wince deepened. Why hadn’t he told her this before? “He made a golf date, too. The man’s tied me up all weekend.”
Lifting her chin, she worked to hold up the good front, but it was long from reaching her eyes. “That’s okay.”
“Carly, I’m sorry. He’s assured me these are just last-minute meetings to get me acquainted with some of the associates he works with. In a week or two things will all be back to normal and I’ll be on a regular work schedule.”
“Matt, if it was only me, I wouldn’t care. I just hate disappointing Jodi. She gets enough of that already.”
That one hurt.
He pushed up and rounded his desk, clutching her shoulders and trying to ignore the feeling that everything was slipping out from under him like sand through a sieve. “Honey, I said I was sorry. I don’t plan to make a habit of breaking promises, but you’ve got to cut me a break. I was just promoted and things are shaken up right now. Soon this will all settle and things will be like they always were.”
Her brow twitched at that statement, but she quickly covered it over with a sigh and a smile. “You’re right and I do understand. Jodi will, too.” Then she tipped to her toes and touched her lips to his cheek. “Get yourself settled in the new job and we’ll pick up where we left off.”
Pick up where they’d left off? He’d left off in a space where life felt good being in love with the woman of his dreams. Now it was all falling apart, and he didn’t know what to do to right it.
Dammit, he’d earned this promotion. He hadn’t lied to her or anyone else. Was he supposed to walk in to Hall and turn it down? Would it make Carly happy knowing she only got a promotion because Hall’s first choice had opted out? He knew her better than that. Her pride wouldn’t let her accept it.
She stepped out of his office and Matt went back to his big, shiny desk. He plopped into his chair feeling trapped without options. He’d thought they’d done the right thing when making that pact. For weeks they’d worked together, knowing this day would come and that one of them would lose. He thought Carly had been prepared for this. Everyone speculated he’d be the one to get the job, and up until it happened, she’d seemed fine with it.
So why did it now feel as if their relationship was coming to an end?
16
CARLY WENT BACK to her cubicle and slipped into her chair, the walls feeling suffocatingly tight after being in the spacious surroundings of Matt’s new office. For days now she’d been trying hard to be happy for him, to be the good loser, knowing they both couldn’t get the job. She would have wanted Matt to be happy for her if the tables were turned.
But darn it if she couldn’t shake off the feeling she’d been played the fool. As much as she wanted to deny it, as much as she kept replaying every loving thing Matt had done for her over the last several weeks—his tender kisses and gentle words—a knot in her stomach wouldn’t dismiss the fact that she hadn’t spent one evening with him since he’d gotten the new job.
And it al
l felt too convenient.
Bev’s warning came back to her, the notion that though they’d made a pact, Matt had gotten way more out of the deal than Carly had. She’d turned it over a dozen times, trying to justify the situation until she’d run out of excuses, and she kept coming back to the same space. She’d been supportive, helpful and kind, and Matt had walked away with the job she still felt she deserved. In fact, all her hard work hadn’t gotten her anything but a pat on the back from her traitorous boss and shoved aside by the man she loved.
She checked her watch and grabbed her purse, deciding to call it a day. Without Matt going along, she could go straight to her mother’s apartment and distract herself by dinner with her family. So she headed out the door and stepped into another hot summer evening. She took a deep breath, wanting the sultry air to burn off these feelings of loss and abandonment. It was hard not to overreact, to hold on to hope that what Matt said was true, that he’d been distant and distracted because Hall had been running him crazy lately. She’d seen that for herself. Maybe it was possible things would go back to normal once the newness settled down.
But the angry thorn in her side said nothing would be normal again, because no matter what happened with her and Matt, he was a new manager and she was still one of the working stiffs.
She clicked the button on her key chain to unlock the door to her Grand Prix. Stepping behind the wheel, she began making her way to her mother’s place, her fate feeling dimmer with every mile she drove. The handwriting was on the wall for her at Hall Technologies. Obviously Mr. Hall didn’t feel she was management material, and despite her situation with Matt, she had to face the reality that she’d hit the glass ceiling at her current job. Though it was a fast-growing company, it was apparently growing without her, and if Mr. Hall thought he could hold on to her forever as a tried and true workhorse, he was in for a rude awakening.
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