Destroying the Soul (Destroyed Book 2)

by L. Grubb

  “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” I wince.

  She bites her lip and looks away from me, her eyes glazing over as she remembers her past. I don’t want her to be back there but I don’t want to spook her by moving suddenly, so I let it play out and wait for her to look back at me.

  “The things he did to me, Jay... I don’t want to remember.” She shakes her head. “But I can’t stop.”

  “I’ll help you, Jas,” I say softly. “I’ll chase all your demons away.”

  “You will?” she asks, her voice hoarse.

  I catch the tear as it leaks from her eye and flows down her cheek, leaving a path in its wake.

  “I will, sweetheart.” I give her a reassuring smile, hoping that will help her believe in me.

  Her breath catches as I move closer. I don’t want to push it but I need her to know that I’m here for good and I’m not leaving her this time. There are things that she needs to know. She needs to know that I didn’t leave her willingly all those years ago, that I tried so hard to escape and to get back to her but there wasn’t much I could do from inside a jail cell.

  But now isn’t the time or place for that. All that matters right now is that she gets better. I know it’s going to take time, a lot of time, but I’ll be with her every step of the way.

  I press my lips against hers in a soft, gentle kiss and then pull away, keeping my eyes on hers.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Jas. I’m here for good.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  I kick my boots off and turn around on the bed, lying back and pulling her into my arms. The feel of her body against mine makes everything in the world feel right again.

  Her head rests against my chest and her hand finds mine, our fingers interlocking automatically as she takes a relaxing breath.

  “I missed you,” she says sleepily.

  “I missed you too.”

  Being examined by a complete stranger isn’t at the top of my bucket list, hell it’s not even at the bottom. I’m only going through this torture for Jay, otherwise I’d just deal with my shit the way I always have; I hide. But I know Jay won’t let me, not this time. I’ve endured the rape kit bullcrap that doctors do, the unpleasant throbbing between my legs a reminder of the pain even that caused. I’m brought back to the present by a sharp stab in the crease of my arm, making me hiss between my teeth. I’ve never been a fan of needles… or blood and the sight of it coming out of my arm into those small tubes, clumping like jelly… my head starts to spin and my breathing is coming out short and heavy, my eyes clouding at the oncoming panic attack. My chest tightens and I grip the sides of the bed I’m laid out on.

  “Jasmine? Breathe with me.” The doctor starts taking deep even breaths and I watch her mouth, imitating her slow intake of breath through her mouth and out through her nose. “That’s it. Well done, Jasmine.” Is it wrong that I feel like she’s just patronized me?

  Once my breathing is under control, she smiles at me with sympathy swimming in her eyes and I look away. I don’t want sympathy, or pity, I just want this to be over. “Will you be over with soon? I don’t exactly feel comfortable.”

  “Almost done, Jasmine. Just a few more minutes.” She continues documenting my injuries, scribbling on some paper on her clipboard while poking and prodding me. I have to grit my teeth and bite back a moan when she hits the places where I was hit. She has yet to see my back. I can just imagine her sharp intake of breath, a hand covering her mouth in horror… only a few more minutes until she turns me over.

  Laying on my stomach, I find that my predictions of her reactions are spot on. I don’t bother looking at her to know there’s horror in her eyes. Tears pool in my eyes and I bite my lip to try and stop them falling, but to no avail as they slip free and run down my cheeks, sideways seeing as I’m on my stomach with my head tilted to the side. “Please… Please can you just hurry up instead of staring at me like I’m disgusting!” I scream out, making the doctor jump back in surprise. Squeezing my eyes shut, I let her do what she needs to do; rubbing in antibiotic cream into my back, making me sob louder as the sting rushes up and down my back; it feels like it’s on fire.

  “Nearly done, Jasmine.” Her voice is quiet, soothing even, as she places gauze all over my back before wrapping my whole torso in bandages, tightly, she say’s I have a few broken ribs and the only way to help them heal is to be wrapped and plenty of rest. I have no plans, rest sounds good to me, as long as Jay doesn’t try to make me talk again. I’m not ready and I can’t deal with his pushing. One look at me and he should know what the heck I’ve been through. Why should I have to spell it out? Why should I have to relive those days with Louis in the cabin, locked up and tied to the bed with no clothes, no warmth, no food or water and with absolutely nothing to distract me from the awful, menacing, acts of a scorned man, a man so obsessed with his own sister that he should be incarcerated for eternity… though death is a much better option, even if I don’t agree with violence or guns. He’s the one person that deserves it. No more Louis, no more looking over my shoulder wherever I go and no more being scared.

  “You can get dressed now, Jasmine. I’ll be in contact with Jay and yourself when I have the results of your blood tests. Get some rest and take these antibiotics. I’m also leaving you with some sleeping pills but I’ll be giving them to Jay to look after for you, okay? Any questions?” She lays a hand carefully on my upper arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  “No questions. Thanks, doc.” She gives me a small smile before grabbing her bag and other stuff and leaving the room. I hear her talking to Jay in the other room but I don’t bother listening, I just get dressed, hurriedly, and climb onto the bed, pulling the comforter up and over my head before curling into a fetal position. I let the sobs fly free, tears crashing onto the pillow below my cheek. I feel a dip in the bed and a hand brushing my hair back. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pretend Jay isn’t here and that he’s not really seeing me like this. I pray to whoever maybe listening that I can heal, that Jay understands I just need time to process this harrowing experience. Please, God, give me the space I need to adjust to my new self.

  I take one last look at Jas as she sleeps peacefully on the bed, her hair covering half of her face, and push out of the door, closing it behind me with a soft click. Scrubbing my hand over my face and my hair I then roll my neck from side to side, trying to give my sore muscles some relief.

  The tension inside me has been building and building. I’m itching to get to Louis but I know I have to wait. I have to wait until Jas is better than she is and right now, it doesn’t look like that’s going to be anytime soon.

  I have to be patient and bide my time, but it’s killing me knowing that he’s so close. The problem is that I’ve never really been a patient person. I like to tackle a problem head on and I like to do it as soon as I can.

  My cell vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out, Dante’s name flashes on the screen and all I do is stare at it for several seconds. He’s been blowing up my phone since I left Cali, probably wanting an update, I know I need to talk to him at some stage so I hit the accept call button to get it over with sooner rather than later. At least now I can give him an update that actually means something.

  “Hey,” I say down the line, moving away from the door and over to the sofa that sits in the living room.

  “Bro!” he practically shouts down the line. “You finally answered!”

  I chuckle at him and sit down, extending my legs out in front of me and resting my head on the back of the sofa.

  “I did.”

  “So? Did you find her?”

  “I did.”

  “Fuck sake, bro. Gimme something here! How is she?”

  I blow out a breath, my eyes moving to the bedroom door. “Not good,” I say, not willing to expand on it more than that.

  “Will you… Stop, Callie! Callie!” There’s rustling in the background and then, “Jay, tell me where you are, I’
m coming to you.”

  I sit up, my heart racing at the thought of them being here. I don’t want Dante back here, I don’t need him to see what is going on and I know for a fact that Jas won’t want them here, not yet anyway. Not only that but this isn’t the kind of neighborhood that you can leave and make something of yourself to come back to without some sort of back up. I want to keep Dante as far away from this life as possible and that means him not coming back here ever again.

  “That’s not a good idea,” I say, trying not to lose my cool.

  “She’s my best fucking friend,” Callie growls down the line. “She needs me.”

  “No, she doesn’t. Right now, she doesn’t.”

  “Listen to me, you fuck muffin-”

  “Fuck muffin?” I snort.

  “Yeah, fuck muffin… she needs me there, whether you like it or not. Now tell me where the fuck you are!”

  My head falls forward as my head pounds. I don’t have the fucking time for this, it’s the exact reason why I haven’t answered Dante’s calls since I left town. I knew they’d want to be here and that just isn’t happening.

  “All you need to know is that she’s getting better and we’ll be home soon.”

  “That isn’t what I was asking, Jay! Tell me where-” I pull the cell from my ear and press the end call button.

  I don’t have the time or patience to listen to her incessant moaning and questions. My mind spins as I try to decide what to do next. We can’t stay here any longer, that much I do know, it’s not good for Jas to stay in this God-awful town, she’ll never heal here. She needs to go home and however much I don’t like it, she does need Callie by her side.

  “Boss?” I look up at Ryan as he walks in the front door, a frown marring his face. “What’s up?”

  “She needs to go home,” I tell him, tilting my head to the bedroom door.

  “Yeah,” he grumbles, sitting down next to me. “She does.”

  “Louis?” I ask.

  “He’s secure.”

  I nod in acknowledgement and lean back, rubbing the palms of my hands against my temples. I need a plan, I need to know what’s coming next, but I can’t think with the pounding in my head.

  “What’s your plan with him?” Ryan asks.

  “To make him suffer,” I growl, turning my head to face him.

  His lip quirks up at the corner at my confession and he pushes up off the sofa. “Beer?”

  “Yeah.”

  I sit up straight when he hands me a bottle and I turn to him, eyes wide and a plan formulating quickly in my head. “Can we get Louis back to Cali?”

  His eyes rove around the room before he turns to me and says, “We can, it won’t be easy, but we can get him there.”

  “Without Jas knowing?” I ask.

  “Fuck,” he spits, blowing out a rush of air before bringing his beer to his mouth and talking a long pull. “You don’t make shit easy, you know that?”

  I chuckle at him and clink my bottle against his. “I know, but at least now we can go home.”

  He shakes his head and stands up, making his way to the room he’s sleeping in and telling me he’s hitting the hay.

  I pull out my cell, rapidly shooting off several messages to arrange our travel. I want to be home as soon as I can because the sooner we’re home, the sooner I can start to make him suffer with the knowledge that Jas will be kept occupied by Callie.

  It’s the perfect plan, now I just need to execute it without Jas finding out.

  “Jas… babe?” I feel a calloused hand stroking down the side of my face and I shy away from it, not wanting to be touched… regardless of who it is. “You need to get up.”

  “Leave me alone, Jay,” I say in my coldest voice. I make myself cringe at the tone I use. After everything he’s done for me, rescuing me and looking after me, I’m treating him like trash? He doesn’t deserve that. I sigh. “Sorry, Jay, I just want to be alone right now to sleep.”

  “Unfortunately, we must get moving back to Cali, Jas. Callie is frantic because I won’t let her see you and to be honest, I’ve had enough of having an earful from her.” Callie’s name makes my heart skip. My best friend, the only one, other than Jay, who I can trust. Now she’s calmed the hell down anyway.

  “Callie’s been calling? Why won’t you let me see her?” I’m bolt upright in bed now, staring wide eyed at Jay. I feel the blush rising up my neck, not from embarrassment or whatever, but with anger. “Why are you keeping my best friend, my only friend, away from me?”

  “I thought it best to let you rest, Jas. What’s the problem?” His brows furrow and his lips thin.

  “The problem?” I shout, hands waving wildly in the air. “You, right now, are the problem. I need to be with her right now, not cooped up in one room, AGAIN, like a prisoner!” I glare at him, my breathing coming out fast and choppy as anger surges through my blood.

  “You’re the one who said you wanted to be alone, Jas, not me.” Jay’s voice is calm and collected, my angry words not seeming to hit the mark.

  “Did it not occur to you that being around guys, any guy, makes me want to vomit right now. I want to crawl out of my skin because you’ve seen me so vulnerable and scared. I’ve just endured the worst thing a woman should ever have to experience because of a man.” My words trail off and tears fall onto the comforter in my lap. A shiver makes its way down my spine, making my limbs shake with anxiety.

  “I… I’m sorry, Jas. I didn’t think.” He looks down at my hands wringing in my lap. I know he wants to comfort me but after what I just said, he doesn’t know whether he’s allowed to touch me. That’s cool, I don’t want to be wrapped up in cotton wool, treated like a victim. Yes, I am one, but right now pity and sympathy are the last things I need. That’s why I need Callie. She doesn’t sugarcoat things, ever.

  “I just want to go back to Cali and forget this ever happened.” I look into his chocolate brown eyes, pleading with him as my eyes glitter with tears. “Please.”

  “That’s why I woke you up, babe. We need to go now.” Jay stands and goes to the door, stopping to look at me. “Get dressed. I’ll meet you in the den.” His eyes are full of sadness and my heart twinges. I put that look in his eye. Me. My stomach twists with guilt and I fight back the wave of sickness. I’m ruining the one relationship that I’ve ever had. The guy that was there for me when my abusive brother was tormenting me. He was the only person I ever told and this is how I treat him?

  Sighing, I heave myself off the bed, groaning at the aches and pains flowing over every inch of my body. I hold my breath and wait for my ribs to stop screaming in agony at me. Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I take a few steps and find that it’s okay as long as I hold my ribs.

  I look at my clothes, clean and dry and neatly folded on the solitary, sturdy oak chair that sits just in front of the window. It feels like a million miles away when really, it’s just a few feet.

  I’m breathless by the time I’ve reached my clothes and I have to lean a hand against the wall by the side of the lace covered glass windows. I take short, sharp breaths to try and regulate my heartbeat. Christ, it feels like I’ve ran three miles in a pair of Callie’s ridiculous heels. I mean, this room is small and crowded with dated furniture, it really wasn’t a long walk at all. How the hell am I supposed to travel like this? I can hardly walk let alone try and climb up steps to a plane… I assume that’s how we’re getting to California. Driving would take days and I don’t really think I’m up to being cramped up in a car for hours and hours.

  I struggle getting dressed but I manage it eventually. Sitting back on the bed to, once again, catch my breath, I hear the door creak behind me. I would turn my head to see who’s entered but really, the pain isn’t worth it and I already know it’s Jay, probably to hurry my butt up.

  “Everything okay, Jas?” Jay asks, sitting beside me on the bed. “You look a bit flushed.”

  “Well you would be too if you had to walk across the room to get your clothes, then get d
ressed, all while being in agony with broken ribs,” I reply through gritted teeth. I have no idea why he’s making me so irritable, I never used to be, not with Jay. He was my one and only safe place. But I guess if you’re asking stupid questions, you deserve a bit of word vomit.

  He raises his hands in the air and backs off a little. “Sorry, I only asked a question.”

  Taking a deep breath, well, as deep as my body will let me anyway, I say, “Look, I’m sorry for being a bit of a… well, bitch, towards you, but you asking stupid things and looking at me like I’m a china doll is not helping my mindset right now, okay?”

  “Okay. I get it. One more thing though.” He tilts his head to the side before asking, “Do you need help with getting to the plane and shit?”

  I want to swat him but instead I just glare at him and huff out, “Stop cursing, it’s rude. But, yes, I’m going to need help.”

  “I have the wheelchair that I had ready for you because I didn’t know what state you were going to be in when I finally found you.” He waits, gauging my reaction at the news that he has a wheelchair ready for when I was here. I just sit grimacing from the pain surging through my ribs.

  “Okay. Fine. Whatever. As long as I don’t have to walk anywhere.” I cough and scream as another wave of pain rips through me. “F… Sugar-knobs.”

  “Stay there, I’ll go get it.” I glare at his back as he leaves and think to myself, where the heck would I go, you jackass?

  The journey was made via a luxurious private jet that had plush leather sofas and a flat screen TV along with two bedrooms and a bathroom with a walk-in shower. The bar was fully stocked and the main cabin had surround sound speakers in every corner. I can imagine watching a scary movie in this jet. I shiver just thinking about it. I was ordered to stay in the master bedroom, not that it was much bigger than the other one but it did contain a king-size bed and a built-in wardrobe. I was cool with that, all my body wanted to do was lie down and never get back up again. This is where it would be handy to have Madam Pomfrey from Harry Potter come and fix me up. I snigger to myself, I’m such a nerd.