by Barbara Dee
“Um,” I said loudly. “That’s not going to help, actually.”
Everyone looked at me.
“Why not?” Nadia asked.
“Because it’s such a lie,” I said. “Everyone in the same stupid tee, smiling because we’re supposed to. I mean, it’s a nice picture and everything. But it’s not who we are.”
“Yeah?” Trey said. “So who are we, then?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, a bunch of obelisks. Really cool, but not just one thing, and not perfect anything. And definitely not all exactly the same.”
“I see what you’re getting at, Tally,” Ms. Pressman said. “But—”
“Wait,” I said. “I have an idea.” I walked over to where Ms. Pressman held the poster, took it from her, and flipped it over against the whiteboard. Then I drew a line down the middle with a green Sharpie. In the left column I wrote: WILAY. In the right I wrote: WILAM.
“Who are Wilay and Wilam?” Marco asked.
I laughed. “It stands for What I Like About You and What I Like About Me. I’ll go first.” On the left side, which was all about Ava, I wrote:
Ava, I like your toughness, your smart brain, and the fact you don’t snore.—Tally.
On the right I wrote:
I like my style, my height, my mathitude, and my squishy belly.—Tally.
I looked up. “Isn’t that what we want to say to her? That we’re not all the same; we’re all weird in our own ways, and that’s a good thing?”
Ms. Jordan was looking at me with shining eyes. “Tally, I love it,” she said quietly.
“Okay, so who’s next?” I asked, waving the Sharpie.
“Me,” Marco said. Under WILAY he wrote: I like how you aren’t afraid of anything. Under WILAM he wrote: I’m a good brother. My nails grow really fast and so does my hair.
“Sign your name,” I told him. “So she knows who you are.” Marco nodded, and wrote his name kind of like graffiti. It looked cool.
Then Nadia wrote: Ava, you have the best smile. / I like my hair and my dimples. <3, Nadia
Haley: You are the strongest person I know, inside and out!!! / What I like about me is I have perfect pitch (according to my voice teacher). Also I like my freckles.
Sonnet: Ava, I like your pretty eyes and how you can be so sweet to your friends. / I like my shiny hair and that I’m getting braver about auditioning.
Jamal: Ava, I like how you always do your best and wear nice nail polish. / What I like about me is that I’m ambidextrous (mostly) and good at video games.
Trey: Ava, I think you’re pretty and smart at everything, and someday you’ll RUN THE WORLD. / What I like about me is my awesome sense of humor (haha) and the fact I can eat all the junk I want and never get cavities.
Shanaya: I like how fierce you are, Ava!! / I’m proud of my brown skin, my grades, and that I can do three somersaults in a row. (I think I’m fierce also—but maybe not as fierce as you. ;P)
Sydney: Ava, I think you’re a really good athlete. / I like my neck.
“My turn,” Ms. Jordan said. She wrote: Ava, I like your grit, determination, and competitiveness. You’re the hardest worker I’ve ever seen, so KEEP AT IT. / What I like about me is that I love to learn. Also, since I started running, I have very strong leg muscles!!
• • •
We kept going. When our class had finished, Ms. Jordan asked Ms. Pressman and me to deliver the poster to Mr. G, so he and his kids could add to it too. “Cool,” Mr. G said when I explained it to him. “Two thumbs way up, Tally.”
He wrote: Ava, I like your determination and how much you care about people. / I like my beard, my quick reflexes in Ping-Pong, and how I geek out about the US Constitution!
He handed the Sharpie to Caleb, who wrote in the WILAM column: I like how fast I learn complicated things.
Then he stopped. “I’m not sure what to say about Ava,” he murmured.
“I know,” I admitted. “She’s not exactly . . .” I groped for the right word. “Simple.”
Caleb’s face lit up. And he wrote: I like that you’re complicated.
Poster Girls
AT THE START OF EVERY school year, I have a hard time believing the weeks will pass. Somehow, though, they always do.
And seventh grade was speeding by. Maybe it was because I was so busy—Mr. Santiago had made me president of the Math Olympics team, and between the after-school practices and the Saturday meets at other schools, I barely had time for anything else. But I still hung out with Caleb some afternoons, and with Sonnet whenever I could. This meant also spending time with Nadia and Haley, but they were both okay, I decided. Although I was still relieved they didn’t get purple hair streaks.
As for Marco: He was also on the Math Olympics team, as a substitute, so we were together for most of the week. And considering how nice he was to Caleb, and how much he talked about his little brother . . . well, okay, I’ll just say it. I realized the crush was a two-way thing. So we weren’t “going out,” technically, during that fall, but we were together a lot. It turned out he liked the same video games and movies as I did, so we always had plenty to talk about.
Oh yes, and I finally admitted to Sonnet that he was cute. Preposterously cute.
None of us heard anything from Ava, not even a thank-you for the poster. So part of me wondered if her mom had even shown it to her. Knowing Mrs. Seeley, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she decided it was too messy. Or inappropriate, or some other Mrs. Seeley word.
I thought about writing to Ava, just to say hello, but then I remembered that we hadn’t been on speaking terms when she left. I mean, I personally didn’t feel angry anymore, but she’d never apologized about the phone photo, and I couldn’t guess how she felt about me, even now. For all I knew, maybe she blamed me for ratting on her to the school nurse and the guidance counselor. I knew they’d spoken to other people besides me, but I was the roommate. The one who’d seen everything close-up. The one who knew secrets. So possibly Ava hated me even more than before.
But I didn’t stop thinking about her. Wondering how she was, if she was getting better. Wondering when she’d be back. If she’d be back.
• • •
And then one Sunday, just after Thanksgiving, I was in the backyard throwing a Frisbee for Spike. Dad was there too, doing the last yard work before the winter, every once in a while taking a sip of cocoa from a mug he rested on our splintery old picnic table.
All of a sudden, Fiona came running over to us. She had a funny look on her face.
“Tally,” she said. “We have visitors.”
“Yeah? Who?”
“You’re not going to believe it: Ava Seeley. And her mom.”
My stomach knotted.
“They’re inside?” Dad asked, wiping his dirty hands on his jeans. “Where’s Mom?”
“Making them tea.” Fiona rolled her eyes. “Tally, I told them I wasn’t sure where you were. If you want, I can say I looked for you but you’d gone over to Spider’s.”
“You mean Caleb. No, it’s okay,” I told her. “You can tell Ava I’m here.” My mind was racing. What would I say to her? What would she say to me? Would she look any different? What if she didn’t?
Dad was watching my reaction. “Tally, don’t feel obligated to hang out with her if you’re not comfortable. Just say hello, be polite, and let us take over.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I turned to my sister. “But maybe could you ask her to come outside? Just her, I mean.”
“You sure?” Fiona said. She looked worried. “Because it’ll be harder to rescue you if you guys are out here by yourselves.”
“I’m sure,” I said. “Well, pretty sure.”
Dad and Fiona exchanged glances, but Dad took his mug and they went inside. A moment later, there was Ava, walking toward me with a giant messenger bag across her body.
It took me a few seconds to register, but she looked older. Stronger. She was wearing normal jeans, not the super-skinny ones. And her face was maybe a l
ittle rounder. Just a bit.
“Hey,” she said softly.
“Hey,” I said, smiling, as Spike ran over to her to sniff her knees.
She bent over to ruffle the top of Spike’s head, then smiled up at me.
I didn’t know what to do next. But I decided, what the heck, I should hug her. So I did.
She hugged back. Under her fleece, her back didn’t feel bony. Not that you could tell very much under clothing, but still.
“You look good,” I said, as I pulled away.
“Yeah, thanks. I’ve gained seven pounds.” She laughed. “And I’m not even feeling like a slug.”
“That’s great! So are you coming back to school?”
“Uh-huh. In a few weeks, I think. If my doctors say I’m ready.”
“So that means you’re all . . .”
“I’m better than before. But I’ll always need to be careful, I guess. And have help.” She shrugged. “That’s okay.”
“Great.” What should I say next? I was starting to panic.
“I like your hair,” Ava said. “But what happened to the purple streak?”
“I got tired of it. I mean, it’s just hair; it’s not who I am or anything.” I threw the Frisbee for Spike. “Um, so did you ever get the poster?”
She smiled. “Yeah. I loved it.”
“Really? And did you see all that stuff we wrote on the back?”
She nodded.
“That was my idea,” I said, sort of shyly.
“I had a feeling. The way you signed it first.” She grinned. “Actually, I brought the poster with me.”
“You did? What for?”
“Well, if it’s supposed to be our whole class, it isn’t finished. I wanted to add something. Okay if we sit?”
“Sure,” I said uncertainly.
We walked over to the old picnic table. Ava unzipped her bag and took out the poster, which she carefully unrolled and flipped over. Then she took out a blue marker.
“I got that WILAM idea from your magazine,” I admitted.
“Yep, I know.” I watched her write in the right column: I like seeing how strong I am. How strong I can BE.
“That’s really great,” I said.
“Thank you, Tally.” She tucked some loose golden-brown hair behind her ear. “And I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, so I wanted to say thanks for a bunch of other things too.”
I blinked. “What do you mean?”
“You know. Caring about how I was. Trying to help, even when I was so nasty to you. Not giving up.”
“It’s okay,” I murmured. “I just wish I could have helped you more.”
“You helped me more than anyone, Tally. So yeah. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I didn’t know what to say after that. So I pointed to the left column, What I Like About You. “That side is supposed to be about you too,” I explained. “Because ‘you’ means ‘you, Ava.’ ”
“Well, that’s dumb!” Ava exclaimed with surprising force. “I’m not going to write about myself in both columns! So my WILAY column will be about you.”
“Me?” I said.
“Yeah. We’re going to argue about it?” She lifted her chin like she was ready for another fight.
Oh, bleep. Here we go again.
“No, of course not,” I said quickly. “Go ahead, Ava. Write whatever you want.”
She nodded. And then she picked up the marker and wrote, in her perfect, squarish handwriting:
I like how you were a good roommate—even before we were friends.
Acknowledgments
DEEPEST THANKS AGAIN TO MY brilliant editor, Alyson Heller, and to everyone at Aladdin/S&S—Mara Anastas, Fiona Simpson, Jodie Hockensmith, Michelle Leo, Tricia Lin, Chelsea Morgan, and Laura Lyn DiSiena. Karen Sherman, thanks for your sharp-eyed copyediting. Jenna Stempel, thank you for another gorgeous cover. Jill Grinberg, thanks for making another book come true. Always grateful to the whole team at Jill Grinberg Literary Management—Katelyn Detweiler, Cheryl Pientka, Denise St. Pierre, and Sophia Seidner.
Julie Chibbaro and Michelle Peña, thanks for reading an early draft with great care and sensitivity. Thanks to Carolyn Berger, LCSW, for talking to me about the wide-ranging experiences of kids in open adoptions. Frances Kellner, thank you for reading, offering insights about adoption—and most of all, for being my very dear friend.
A personal note: When I had an eating disorder in college, the subject was pretty much taboo. If there were experts around who could have helped me (and several of my classmates), I certainly didn’t know about them. Somehow I found my way back to health, but mostly I was just lucky. As eating disorders become more common among tween girls, it’s encouraging to note the range of treatments available. I’m deeply indebted to Kristin Lore, LCSW, for sharing her experience treating tween eating disorders, and for reading and commenting on an early draft. Kids need to know that caring professionals are out there—and that full recovery is possible.
As always, I’m beyond grateful for the loving support of my family: Josh, Lizzy, Alex, and Dani, and my partner-in-everything, Chris. Holly Doyne and George Rehm, we can never thank you enough for opening your arms. Luna and Ripley, thanks for letting me write (usually).
About the Author
BARBARA DEE is the author of Everything I Know About You, Halfway Normal (a 2018 NCSS-CBC Notable Social Studies Trade Book for Young People and a Junior Library Guild selection, on YALSA’s “Booklist: Surviving Middle School,” with starred reviews from Kirkus Reviews and School Library Journal), Star-Crossed (a 2018 American Library Association Rainbow List Top Ten selection, a 2018 NCSS-CBC Notable Social Studies Trade Book for Young People, a 2017 Goodreads Choice Awards finalist, a 2017 Chicago Public Library Best of the Best pick, and a King County Library System Best Book of 2017), and six other middle-grade novels published by Simon & Schuster. Barbara is one of the founders and directors of the Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival. She lives with her family, including a naughty cat named Luna and a sweet rescue hound dog named Ripley, in Westchester County, New York.
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Resources
National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA)
Toll free helpline: 1-800-931-2237
nationaleatingdisorders.org
Provides programs for prevention, education, and access to treatment for individuals and families affected by eating disorders
Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center
edreferral.com
Dedicated to the prevention and treatment of eating disorders
Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness
allianceforeatingdisorders.com
Helps families identify causes and symptoms of eating disorders
Academy for Eating Disorders (AED)
aedweb.org
An international source for information in the field of eating disorders
Adolescent Treatment Facilities for Eating Disorders
Clementine: A Monte Nido Affiliate for Adolescents
Locations in Florida, Oregon, and New York
855-900-2221
clementineprograms.com
Center for Discovery
Locations throughout the United States
866-482-3876
centerfordiscovery.com
ALSO BY BARBARA DEE
Halfway Normal
Star-Crossed
Truth or Dare
The (Almost) Perfect Guide to Imperfect Boys
Trauma Queen
This Is Me From Now On
Solving Zoe
Just Another Day in My Insanely Real Life
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are use
d fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
ALADDIN
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First Aladdin hardcover edition June 2018
Text copyright © 2018 by Barbara Dee
Jacket illustration copyright © 2018 by Jenna Stempel
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
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Designed by Laura Lyn DiSiena
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Dee, Barbara, author.
Title: Everything I know about you / by Barbara Dee.
Description: First Aladdin hardcover edition. | New York : Aladdin, 2018. |
Summary: “Misfit Tally is forced to room with queen bee Ava on the seventh grade’s extended field trip to Washington, DC, and discovers several surprising things about her roommate, including the possibility of an eating disorder”—Provided by publisher.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017040921 |
ISBN 9781534405073 (hardcover : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781534405097 (eBook)
Subjects: | CYAC: Interpersonal relations—Fiction. | Friendship—Fiction. | School
field trips—Fiction. | Washington (D.C.)—Fiction. | Anorexia nervosa—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.D35867 Eve 2018 | DDC [Fic]—dc23