by Dee Garcia
In a short amount of time, I’d become dependent on hearing from Knox on a daily basis. Whether it was five minutes or an hour, I craved the sound of his voice, his laughter, the peace he brought to my soul.
A month had passed since we last saw each other and I was growing anxious. Unfortunately it would be quite a while before we’d get the opportunity to do so again… Unless of course I could convince him otherwise.
Austin was the halfway mark of the season and with the finals quickly approaching, the fighters became more aggressive and the fights more brutal. I could take it though. I always did. As long as I had Bernie in my corner, I knew I could conquer anything, anyone. Even Lexi.
Hell, especially Lexi.
Speaking of my rival… She’d been incognito after one of the newbies knocked her out at the start of the season, only making appearances during fight nights or for random interviews with different magazines, and because of that, Bernie had been pushing my limits to an extreme.
He was certain she had something up her sleeve and taking precautions rather than being unprepared was our best bet to success. Was it exhausting, yes? But it felt damn good.
All the anxiety brought on by the nightmares and the pent up energy from itching to see Knox washed away with every hit to bag, every kick to the mitts.
Bernie and I waltzed into his suite mid-Lexi discussion after a long day of training when he said, “It’s just unusual. We’ve seen every other fighter on the League minus Panterra.”
I kicked off my sneakers by the door and sauntered into the room, dropping down onto the couch in a heap. “I agree, but there’s no sense in dwelling on it. Maybe she finally realized she’s never getting that title back.”
“Maybe.” He sank into one of the seats beside the table. “Her most recent interview tells me otherwise.”
“Let her talk her shit, Bern. She should know by now that she’ll always be number two as long as I’m around.”
He nodded in agreement.
Curling my legs beneath me, I let my hair loose from the tight bun on top of my head and glanced at Bernie from the corner of my eye. “So what are your thoughts on Knox coming here for a weekend?” I asked, bracing myself for an answer I didn’t care to hear.
Bernie eyed me from the short distance separating us and hooked an ankle over his knee. “I'm not opposed to it. I'd like to get to know the man better myself, however, do you really think you need that sort of distraction right now?”
“Wanting to see him is already a distraction.” I admitted.
“I take it this means you two have been keeping in touch?”
“Very much so. I was attracted to him before, Bern, but now”—I could feel myself blushing—“now that I know so much more about him, I have no doubts about moving forward once we make it home. He asked about you a few weeks ago, you know. About how you and I met…”
Bernie’s eyes widened and he shifted in his seat.
“I told him everything, dirty details included. He’s thankful for you, Pops, thankful that you saved me, that you essentially brought me back to life.”
He tipped his head, a curt smile hiking up one corner of his mouth. “I'm glad he took it well then. What else have you…” He paused suddenly, wincing, a look of pain flashing across his face. His eyebrows knit together as he took a deep breath, shifting in the chair again. I noticed he was white-knuckling the armrests too.
What the hell?
Red flags whipped around in my head and I scooted to the edge of the couch. “Pops, what's wrong?”
My heart began thumping faster and faster.
Bernie whimpered, bringing a hand up to his chest. He hissed through teeth and folded over to his knees before collapsing onto the floor, grunting and groaning. I shot up from the couch and flew to where he laid as bone-chilling fear consumed me in a second flat.
Oh my god. OH MY GOD.
Sinking to my knees, I pulled Bernie into my lap. He was sweating, breathing heavily, his face contorted in what appeared to be excruciating pain.
“Jason!” I wailed as loud as I could manage. “JASON!”
I was panicking, I didn't know what to do. Should I risk it and move him to the bed or leave him on the floor?
“JASON!” I shrieked again just as the door flung open, banging into the doorstop on the wall. Jason came barreling into the room with his firearm drawn and when he noticed me on the floor with Bernie, his eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets.
“Jesus Christ!” He muttered in alarm, holstering his gun.
“Call 9-1-1! I think he's having a heart attack!”
Without hesitation, Jason pulled out his phone and dialed for emergency, jogging out the door and into the hall.
“Stay with me, Pops, please.” I begged, wanting nothing more than to hug him. I didn't want to cause him more pain though. Instead, I ran my fingers through his now damp hair with tears flooding my eyes as I watched him struggled to breathe.
Jason and Manny stormed in and began moving the chairs aside to make space for the EMT’s. When the space around us was clear, Jason ran to the door to keep watch in the hall and Manny dropped down beside me, fanning Bernie with a large Manila folder.
Several minutes later, three large men filed into the room with a gurney. Very kindly they asked me to move aside and began prepping Bernie for transport, putting an oxygen mask over his face and lifting him onto the stretcher.
The sight of him being rolled away and the uncertainty of the future set me off into a downward spiral…and that's when I lost it.
Manny and Jason followed behind us in the Tahoe while I rode with Bernie in the back of the ambulance, the sirens blaring as we careened through light traffic. I held his hand the entire way while one of the EMT’s did everything in his power to keep my old man stable.
Never before had being strong been such a difficult thing to do but somehow I managed to keep it together. Maybe it was because I didn't want Bernie to see me crumbling. Seeing me so distraught could negatively affect him and there was no way in hell I could lose him.
When we arrived at the hospital, the EMT asked me to step out and head into the ER. I had every urge to protest against his request but I knew it was a battle I’d never win. He had a job to do and me hovering over him would not be helpful in the slightest.
As I hit the pavement, Jason and Manny came running up the sidewalk from the parking lot and escorted me inside, settling me into a chair beside the windows. I was doing okay until I watched them rush Bernie in and disappear beyond the swinging doors. The sight hit me like a ton of bricks and the dam burst open without warning, core-racking sobs tearing through me one after the other.
An hour later, a tall, lanky gentleman with grayed hair and large frames emerged from the back and introduced himself as Dr. Frishstein. He went on to explain that Bernie had gone into cardiac arrest and was highly recommending surgery.
Apparently Bernie’s condition was stable but foregoing the surgery did not look promising. With that being said, Bernie was in no state to make decisions for himself and although I wasn't his spouse or next of kin, the Doctor was requesting my consent before proceeding given the fact I listed under his insurance. I agreed, obviously, not knowing what else to do. It’s not like I could call his wife and ask for her opinion. She’d passed many years ago from cancer and their daughter, well, she was a lost cause. If the Doctor thought this would increase his chances of living, then I trusted him to know what was best.
Another nail biting hour ticked by and finally I’d had enough. I couldn't sit there in the silence anymore, couldn't sit still not knowing what was going to happen to my old man, if he was going to pull through or if life was once again going to be cruel and rip him away from me.
One of my worst fears was unfolding right before my eyes and once again, there was nothing I could do about it.
“I need air,” I said to Manny, feeling like I couldn't breathe as the worst outcome possible viciously attacked my mind.
Shooting up to my feet, I bolted out the large sliding doors into the muggy Austin night. I took a deep breath, willing myself to get out of my head and hold it together, but I just couldn't.
Why me?
Why me?
“Why me?” I choked out.
There was no thought process behind pulling out my phone and dialing Knox’s number. It was reflexive now. He’d grown to be my comfort zone and although he was hundreds of miles away, I knew the sound of his voice would soothe me, even if it were only temporary.
The line rang and rang, each ring drawing out my desperation further to the point I was shivering despite the warm summer air.
Pick up, pick up, please!
As if on cue with my internal plea I heard, “Baby, I was just...”
“Knox!” I wailed, tears spilling over my cheeks anew.
“Hazel, what’s wrong?” His question was loaded with concern.
“It's Bernie, he's in the hospital! He went into cardiac arrest when we got back to the suite and they have him in surgery!” A guttural sob escaped me and I dropped down to my knees on the sidewalk.
“Baby, I-I, I'm sorry. Don't cry, please. Tell me how I can help?”
I shook my head regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see me. There wasn't anything he could do. All we could do was hope Bernie was strong enough to pull through.
“I just wish you were here.” I whispered through the tears, wrapping an arm around myself for support.
The line was drowned in silence for several minutes. All I could hear was the occasional hiccups as my breathing eventually began to even out. I thought I may have lost service but when I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen, the call was still connected.
“Knox?” I said, wiping away the wetness that clung to my cheeks.
“I'll be there tomorrow.”
I gasped, not at all expecting him to say that.
“You can’t do that, Knox. You have clients scheduled every day this week.”
“I can and I am. I have two clients tomorrow who can definitely be rescheduled for some time next week and the rest can be sorted when I get there.” He said with finality.
I shook my head again. “But…”
“But nothing. I'm coming. You said you wanted me there and not only do I want to see you, I also want to be there for you in any way I can.”
“Thank you.” I offered quietly, too astonished by his generosity and kindness to say anything else.
“Don't thank me. I was planning to surprise you and come spend a few days with you in the next few weeks anyway.”
“You and surprises.” I chuckled softly, rising to my feet.
“You love them.”
“I do, I can’t lie. Before all this happened, I was telling Bernie I wanted to ask you to come out here.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I've been missing you.”
“I miss you too, baby. Believe me.”
My heart fluttered and swelled with excitement and almost immediately I felt weighed down by an overwhelming sense of guilt for evening feeling a spec of happiness with the current disaster at hand.
“So tomorrow, really?” I asked, clutching the phone tightly.
“Really, really.”
I couldn’t sleep that night, too worried about Bernie to even close my eyes much less allow myself to drift off. After surgery they’d moved him to ICU to monitor him closely and because of that, I wasn’t allowed to spend the night.
At 4 a.m. I found myself in the hotel gym, sprinting on the treadmill with Evanescence blasting in my ears. I ran at the highest incline until I couldn’t breathe and then hit each machine crammed into the small space, pushing my limits almost excessively.
An hour later, drenched in sweat and feeling no less anxious than when I’d arrived, I was stepping off the elevator on my floor when I ran into Jason.
He was not happy.
When I’d told him Knox would be arriving in the morning, I all but saw the steam billow from his ears like an infuriated cartoon character you’d see on TV.
Surprisingly enough though, he chose not to utter a word. Perhaps it was because the waiting room was dead silent and he didn’t want to cause a scene or because he knew not to push this topic with me. Either way, the tension between us could probably be felt in China and it hadn’t dissipated even a smidgen overnight.
“We need to leave by nine.” I said to him as he brushed past me.
He stopped short and pivoted to face me, his mouth set in a grim line. “I’m very well aware. Thank you.”
My head flew back.
Oh, no, he did not.
“What is your issue?” I barked, instantly seething.
“No issue at all, Hazel.”
“Bullshit,” I spat, not caring that we were in the middle of the hall where anyone could potentially walk past us. “You’re pissy because Knox will be here in a few hours and you’re still holding something against him for no reason at all.”
He sighed exaggeratedly. “I’m not arguing with you and I’m certainly not holding anything against, Mr. Carr. You go ahead and believe whatever your little heart desires. I already voiced my opinion to you in Vegas, but you were right. It’s your life. I’m not intervening anymore unless it threatens my job. Now go on and get ready. Emmanuel and I will be up front at eight forty-five.
And with that, he turned on his heel and kept on toward the elevators, effectively ending the dispute and leaving me in a silent fit of rage.
Two hours later, I slammed the door to the SUV behind me when I scooted into the backseat. Manny was already behind the wheel and Jason climbed into front, promptly slamming his door as well. Manny glanced between the two of us, eyeing us warily before pulling out onto the main road.
Aside from calling the hospital to check on Bernie, the drive to the airport was made in silence, save for low sound of Charlie Puth’s voice singing about being one call away. Fitting, I thought to myself, seeing as that’s what Knox had been for me, a mere call away and he was coming to my rescue.
The very minute Emmanuel pulled up to the curb beside arrivals, I jumped out of the backseat and threw the door shut, eager to get inside. Jason eased his way out as well, giving Manny specific instructions on where to park. The opportunity could not have presented itself at a better time.
I bolted for the doors without a word, wanting and needing an uninterrupted moment with Knox. Jason’s resentful attitude toward him would do nothing but ruin it all to hell.
“Hazel!” I heard him yell angrily behind me, but I kept on in a full sprint, determined to have my way.
Weaving in and out through the throng of people, I pulled out my phone from my back pocket and dialed Knox’s number. It rang several times before he answered.
“I'm here, beautiful.” His voice was like liquid velvet dripping into my ear.
“Where?” I asked anxiously, still running mindlessly through the airport.
“Baggage claim for American.”
As soon as I heard the words, I saw him standing there, all 6 foot 4 of him with the phone to his ear, head craning high above everyone else in search of his bag.
I stopped in my tracks, breathless from the mere sight of him. My heart flipped and fluttered as I took him in from the distance. The man was hard to miss. He was a tower of steel—looking especially hot—with a black fitted cap sitting backwards on his head, a tight black tee that left his inked arms on display, and gray sweatpants that hung low on his narrowed hips. A pair of classic Chucks completed his comfy travel style, and I swear to God he was so disarmingly handsome that I may have drooled just a little bit.
Okay, maybe a lot.
“Turn around.” I said, starting toward him again slowly.
I watched him heft his bag off the conveyer belt and spin around in a flash.
Our eyes locked instantly, brown to blue, and a heart-stopping gorgeous smile spread across his face.
He ended the call and shoved the phone in
to his pocket, dropping his duffle bag to the floor as I approached.
“Come here,” he growled, throwing his arms open.
Without an ounce of hesitation, I buried my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and pounced onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
Those big, strong arms came around me squeezing me flush against him as I buried my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his somewhat familiar scent as though it were the last breath I'd ever take.
“God, I missed you.” He rasped, threading one hand into my hair to pull me back.
Looking into those piercing blue pools, I felt myself flush under their intensity. “I think it’s quite possible I missed you more.”
“It’s irrelevant now, baby. I’m here.” He said, inching his face closer.
I smiled and cupped his cheeks in my hands. “Mmm, indeed you are.”
Our lips grazed gently, both of us taunting the other with their proximity.
My tongue flashed out, licking the seam playfully. “Are you gonna kiss me, or what?”
Knox grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Somehow I should have known Jason was going to ruin the moment. He’d done it once already, why not rain all over our damn parade again, right? Hazel’s lips had been on mine for all of five seconds before we heard someone clearing their throat behind us. I spun around with her small frame in my arms to find his prick ass standing there with that same smug expression on his face.
He took in the scene before him, his eyes lingering on Hazel’s ass far longer than I appreciated, and made quick work of reprimanding us like errant children for displaying ourselves so poorly in public.
Who the fuck did he think he was?
Hazel didn’t seem to appreciate his observation either because she looked ready to pummel him. Truth be told, I would not have stopped her if she did.
The short ride from the airport to the hospital was engulfed by a tense dead air, so thick and tense in fact I was certain it could be sliced with a knife. The closer we got, the more I felt wave after wave of unease radiating off Hazel. I was suddenly very aware of how worn down she appeared to be, how exhausted she was, both physically and emotionally. She was barely holding it together and I was becoming increasingly worried about how the next several days were going to pan out if Bernie’s condition didn't improve.