by Tia Siren
But I didn’t have that luxury now. Nope, I got to face it head on. Thankfully, Mason and I had no ties between us. I never had to see him again, and I would find another fertility clinic. If by some slim chance I was pregnant, Mason would have to find a way to prove paternity if he was interested.
“You look like you are chewing glass,” Kali said when I flung open the door to the shop.
“I would prefer to chew glass right now than deal with my train wreck of a life.”
“Um, Lara, I love you. You know that, right?” Kali asked.
“Yes. Why? What now? Is the sky falling?”
She smiled. It was a sympathy smile. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks. It’s fitting. I feel like shit.”
“Want to talk about it?”
I looked at her and fought back the tears that were threatening to fall, again. I hadn’t bothered with eye makeup today. I knew it would only end up smeared by the end of the day and would look worse than if I had attempted to improve my appearance. The foundation and super expensive concealer I was wearing to cover the dark circles under my eyes would likely be gone soon enough.
“I can’t. Physically, I just can’t,” I choked out. “If Mason shows up or calls, please tell him to go away.”
She nodded her head before wrapping her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, hon. Go work on inventory and I’ll act as your bouncer. He won’t get past me. When you’re ready to talk, let me know. I’m here. No judging, just a good shoulder to lean on.”
“Thank you. I’m going to head back,” I said, moving slowly away.
I felt as if I were carrying a five-hundred-pound burden on my shoulders. Physically, I felt weak, and I was mentally drained.
When I sat down to work and go through my morning routine, everything felt as if were blurred. My head was aching, and I knew it was probably all the crying. I was probably dehydrated from crying too much, if that were even possible.
I heard a commotion and looked at the security camera monitor to make sure everything was okay. My heart jumped into my throat when I saw Mason standing in my shop. It hurt to see him and not be with him. Half of me wanted him to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything was okay. The other half of me wanted to rip those same arms off his body and beat him with them.
I flipped on the sound to the cameras up front so I could eavesdrop.
“You need to go,” Kali said.
“Please, I need to talk to her,” Mason pleaded.
“She doesn’t want to talk to you. You obviously fucked up. I suggest you go home and think about what you did.”
I bit back a laugh. She sounded like a mother scolding a child.
“I didn’t actually do anything. It was all a misunderstanding. I want to explain.”
I could see by his ruffled hair and disheveled appearance that he had endured a rough night as well. Good. I wanted him to suffer.
Kali was pointing at the door, ordering him out like one would order a dog out of the house. “Go. If she decides she wants to hear your excuses, she’ll call you.”
Mason put his hands on his hips and stared down Kali. Again, I bit back a laugh. He may have been quite a bit bigger than my friend, but he had no idea who he was challenging. Kali was a bit of a barracuda when provoked. We had been kicked out of more than one club when someone had pissed her off.
I watched Kali transform before my eyes. My high-quality camera system caught the look on Mason’s face as well.
“Listen, Mason, you may be used to flashing those pretty green eyes and using that smooth charm to get your way, but you do nothing for me. Take your ass out of my store before I boot you out. If you don’t think I can do it, try me. Leave Lara alone. You hurt her, and you are damn lucky I don’t kick your ass for that alone.”
In an instant, Mason’s shoulders drooped and he ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up even more than it was. The same hand rubbed over his face before he looked up, directly at the camera, and spoke to me.
“Lara, I know you can hear me. I need to explain what you saw. It wasn’t what you think at all. Please, Lara, give me a chance.”
I wiped the tears off my cheeks but didn’t budge. I had nothing to say to him, and I certainly wasn’t going to let him lie to my face. I wasn’t going to forgive him and take him back just so he could do it all over again. We had never really established what kind of relationship we had. I couldn’t expect him to be faithful to me when we hadn’t declared we were exclusively dating. We were sleeping together. That was it, but that didn’t mean I was going to be second fiddle.
I groaned thinking about the unprotected sex.
Shit.
Now I would have to get tested. The woman who had been draped on him looked like she had been ridden hard many times. I did not want to share bodily fluids with her. Gross.
I watched as Kali escorted Mason to the door. She said something to him that I couldn’t hear. He nodded his head and left without saying anything more. I wiped my tears, blew my nose, and quickly composed myself before Kali came into the office.
“You okay?” she asked, her voice soft and filled with concern.
I smiled and nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Oh, hon. Are you sure this isn’t something you can work through? The man looked crushed. And actually, he looked like shit, too. You guys make a matching pair.”
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“Lara, I think he really is sorry.”
“He should be,” I shot back. The grief and hurt I was feeling was instantly replaced with anger. I liked the anger. It was much easier to deal with. “I caught him with some woman hanging on him, making out like teenagers in the hallway outside his door! He couldn’t even wait until they got inside!”
Kali looked properly pissed. “Oh. He didn’t mention that,” she said through gritted teeth. “I should have kicked his ass after all.”
I nodded. “Yes! Exactly. You should have seen this woman. I think she may work as a call girl, one of those high-priced ones. A ton of makeup and a dress so small we could have sold it here!”
Kali was shaking her head. “Damn him. What the hell? I’m going to tell Brian. Brian will beat the hell out of him.”
“No! You can’t tell Brian!”
“Lara, the guy cheated on you.”
I shrugged. “Not really. I mean, we weren’t actually dating in a technical sense. We had dinner a couple times and sex. Nowadays, that is the norm. You used to have casual relationships.”
“I did, but this was different. He had to have known that. If he didn’t, why is he over here begging for forgiveness? He knows he fucked up.”
Suddenly, I felt like I needed to defend Mason. “He did and he apologized, many times, but I am not ready to accept his apology. I’ve decided to swear off men altogether. I can’t keep doing this.”
Kali reached over and hugged me tightly. “I’m so sorry. Damn him.”
We both ended up laughing. “I’m good. I feel better. Thank you for having my back. You are a scrappy little thing. One day that mouth is going to get you in trouble, though.”
She giggled. “It already has, more than once. I don’t mind, though. I will always have your back. You know that, right?”
Thankfully, the rest of the day was boring. There weren’t any more visits from Mason, and he only called a few times. It was easy to dodge phone calls. Kali and I closed the store together even though I told her to go home. She refused to leave my side.
“Good night, Kali, and please, don’t tell Brian. Not yet. I’ll tell him once the dust has settled a bit.”
“I won’t, but don’t let it fester too long. We’re going to find you a good man who deserves you.”
“Nope. I’m done with men.”
She gave me a knowing look but didn’t argue. I started my walk home, stopping at a store to pick up a couple different pints of ice cream. I was going to eat my feelings since I couldn’t drink them in good conscience.
I chat
ted with the doorman for a few minutes before I made the excuse that my ice cream was melting. Walking into my condo felt different. I was alone. That wasn’t going to change anytime soon. I wished I had never seen Mason. I had managed to come to terms with my new single status and had even embraced it, and then bam, he came along. He lifted me up and then dropped me off the side of a cliff in a matter of weeks.
After popping the ice cream in the freezer, I changed into my sweats and a T-shirt. An elastic waistband was needed for the night I had planned.
Sitting on the couch, I dug into my ice cream with only one candle burning. I put on Pandora and drowned my sorrows. Or at least that had been my plan. Things changed in a hurry when suddenly I raced for the bathroom and lost the small amount of ice cream I had managed to get down.
Perfect. To add insult to injury, I couldn’t enjoy my cookie dough ice cream. My phone rang, but I ignored it. I wanted to stay on the bathroom floor, the cool tile pressed against my cheek. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, the phone was ringing again. I got up and switched my cell to silent and headed for bed.
Within seconds, the house phone rang. The noise was foreign. No one ever called my house phone except for telemarketers or professional calls. I checked the caller ID. It was Mason. He must have gotten the number off my medical chart.
I unplugged the phone, in no mood to hear his excuses. I shut off the lights, blew out the candle, and headed for bed. I just wanted to sleep and forget all about Mason. My stomach lurched and I made a run for it, barely making it to the toilet in time.
A few minutes later, I managed to get into bed, curled into a ball, and prayed for sleep. It didn’t come. Instead, I suffered from horrible nausea and cramps. I was absolutely miserable. Chills racked my body, and I knew I had a fever, but I was too weak to chase down any medicine. I would sleep it off. Tomorrow would be better.
Chapter 32
Mason
I had never really understood when someone had said their skin felt too tight, but I did now. I hadn’t slept at all again last night. I couldn’t eat or think straight. Never in my life had I felt so completely distraught. There was no real reason for me to feel this way. Lara and I had never proclaimed our love for one another. We had just kind of fallen into an easy relationship that seemed to be going really well.
The anger I felt at Sally boiled in my gut. I hated her for what she had done. I should have reacted faster and pushed her off me. I could have stopped her. Lara had refused my calls all night, and I was absolutely desperate to talk to her.
Desperation could make a man do stupid things.
I called Brian again.
“What do you want?” he grumbled.
Obviously, he knew Lara’s side of the story. I should have expected that by now.
“I need to talk to her, Brian. It wasn’t what she thought. The woman is someone I used to date off and on. When Lara and I met up again, I called it off. I told the woman I couldn’t see her anymore. She showed up at my place and kissed me,” I said on one long breath. I had to get out my side of the story before he hung up on me.
“You could’ve pushed her away,” he stated in a calm voice, which surprised me. I thought he would be yelling and threatening me with bodily harm.
“I did. Lara is the only woman I want. Sally is—she’s not—she’s one of those women that—” I said, hoping he would understand.
“I get it, Mason. I do,” he said, shocking me once again with how reasonable he was being.
“Please. I really need her,” I croaked out.
There was a long pause. “I’ll talk to her, but I make no promises. I’m not even supposed to know about all this. She made Kali promise not to tell me.”
In this one instance, I was thankful that the boyfriend-girlfriend, spousal-privilege thing didn’t count. I had an ally, and I really needed any help I could get at this point.
“Thank you. Please tell her I’m sorry, but I swear on everything I have that it wasn’t what it looked like.”
“I’ll try.”
He hung up, and I felt a little better. Hopefully, her big brother could convince her to give me a chance to talk to her. I had to make her see the truth.
When I walked into work, the nurse’s station was adorned with the infamous banner and balloons. There was another pregnancy to celebrate. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate anything.
“You look awful. Seriously, horrible,” Junie said when she saw me. “Really, you need to pull yourself together before you go see any patients.”
I could always count on Junie for giving it to me straight. She pulled no punches.
“I guess I look like I feel then,” I shot back.
“Well, too bad, mister. You have people counting on you. Liven up. Celebrate another victory. No matter what you have going on in your personal life, you have to show up and give these women hope. This mopey, crazy-eyed look isn’t good for business.”
I knew she was right. “I will. Give me ten minutes and let me clean up a bit.”
“Good. That’s the spirit.”
I went into my office, straightened my clothing, and then headed to the bathroom to wash my face and do something with my hair. I could feel it sticking up in all different directions, but I hadn’t cared. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the luxury of not caring. I had people depending on me.
After a good ten minutes, I felt better. I could get through the day. When I walked out of the bathroom, Junie caught my eye.
“Better?” she asked.
“Yes. Thanks.”
“No problem. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you’ll be okay.”
“Thanks, Junie.”
I put my head down and got to work. The day dragged on, but I made it through. I only called Lara about ten times, which I thought showed serious self-control. I drove straight home, changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and then called Lara again.
She didn’t answer, and the voice mail on her phone was full, as was the answering machine on her home phone.
“Fuck this,” I grumbled, pulling on my tennis shoes.
The woman was going to hear me out even if I had to yell through the damn door. I drove to her apartment, told the doorman to back off when he tried to stop me, and made my way to her door. I knew I probably looked like a crazy man, but I didn’t care. I needed to see her.
“Lara.” I knocked like a normal person at first and then began pounding. “Lara! Open the damn door!”
I waited, listening for sounds of movement. Nothing. I picked up my phone and called her cell. I could hear the phone ringing. When it went to voice mail, I hung up and redialed. The incessant ringing sent chills down my spine. If she could, she would have silenced the ringer. I called again and knocked on the door. Then I waited. I thought I heard her say my name, but I couldn’t be sure.
I tried the door handle and wasn’t surprised to discover it was locked. I ran back downstairs to the lobby and found the doorman. I knew someone had to have a key.
“Something is wrong,” I explained to the on-duty manager who lived in the building. “Either you open that door with a key or I break it down.”
The manager looked uneasy, but I could be very intimidating. He finally caved. I jogged down the hall, turning to look back at the man, demanding he get his ass in gear.
As soon as the key was in the lock, I pushed the man out of the way.
“Lara!” I called out, seeing the living room and kitchen areas were empty. “Lara!” I called again.
I walked to her bedroom, saw the bed was unmade but she wasn’t in it. My heart raced as my mind conjured up a thousand different horrible scenarios. I would die if something happened to her. A brief thought of her trying to take her own life flashed through my mind.
Pushing the thought away, I looked around the room. I didn’t see anything that would indicate she had been a victim of foul play. Not that I would actually know what that looked like, but I had watched tele
vision. A moan from the adjoining bathroom grabbed my attention.
“Oh shit,” I murmured when I pushed the door open and saw her lying on the bathroom floor. Her hair was fanned out around her. She looked pale against the dark tile floor. My heart was pounding as I took in the scene.
“Lara? Lara, can you hear me? It’s Mason,” I said, dropping to my knees beside her. “Babe, can you hear me?”
I grabbed her wrist and began to take her pulse.
She moaned and moved her head. Her eyes fluttered open and then closed again. The super was behind me, hovering over my shoulder. I shooed him out of the bathroom.
“Should I call an ambulance?” he asked from her bedroom.
I looked at her again and quickly assessed her condition. “No. I’ll get her to the hospital myself.”
When he looked at me as if that was a bad idea, I glared back. “I’m a doctor. Thank you, but you can see your way out now.”
I turned my attention back to Lara, who was barely conscious on the floor. I picked her up and started for the door. I grabbed her purse from the table, knowing she would need the medical insurance information.
Thankfully, we were close to the hospital. I used my credentials to get her into a room right away instead of waiting in the lobby.
There was a flurry of activity as Lara was assessed. An IV was started and they got her on fluids at my insistent request.
“Hello,” an older gentleman in a white coat said, pulling back the curtain of the emergency room. “What’s going on today?”
I looked at Lara. Her eyes were closed, but I could tell she was conscious. “I’m gonna be sick,” she mumbled.
I reached for the emesis basin and held it in front of her while she got sick. There wasn’t much to catch. She had the dry heaves.
“I guess I can see what the problem is,” the doctor said, coming to stand on the other side of her bed. “How long has this been going on?”