Derek: How are things at the shop? Anything I need to know?
He went to the kitchen suddenly needing something to do. Scrounging around, he realized how little grocery shopping he had done due to lack of time. As he hunted for sustenance, his phone beeped.
Alex: Nothing much, been quiet with the nerds away from the castle today. Plus no raging CEO monster was a plus J
Derek: Well the place is louder when we are there because we are actually working. While you, number jockeys are learning addition and subtraction.
Alex: If we don’t learn those skills someone, namely one CEO, is never getting paid again. J
Derek: That’s fine, I can write my own check.
Alex: I may be adding one to the number jockeys.
Derek: Who would agree to work for you?
Alex: Funny asshole. Since Roni quit working for you and she is magic with numbers I sent her an offer.
Derek: WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!!!
Alex: Listen to me, this can work for both of us. I get her brain to do all those estimates and you get her after hours. On the flip side, she gets a well-paying permanent job and does not have to engage with the CEO asshole version of you. See, win-win! Say it… I am a genius!
Derek could see the logic behind Alex’s plan, which scared him. He knew that if he was agreeing with Alex that must mean he had either lost his mind or was out of options. Rather than inflating his friend’s ego, he decided to ask the question he almost hated to have the answer to.
Derek: Did she accept your offer?
Again he put down his phone and nervously paced his kitchen.
Alex: She said she would think about. I think she is worried you will be mad if she takes the offer.
Now he felt like an even bigger asshole. Not only was he such a fucktard that she quit, but now, Roni didn’t even feel comfortable accepting an offer to do a job she would be great at because of his attitude. With nothing left to say to anyone he put his phone away and went to work in his office.
***
Roni had to read the text from Derek a few times not sure if she was reading it correctly in her drunken sugar high state.
“I think he is trying to be funny and apologize. But men are stupid, so who knows.” Izzy slurred.
“I should have answered him before the third bottle of wine was opened. Now typing is too hard. Those letters are so small.” Roni said as she stared at the small text keyboard on her iPhone.
Izzy fell off the couch laughing. Then she turned serious. “They must have made the keyboard so small to keep people from drunk texting. It is a safety feature.”
“Those Apple people think of everything.” Roni agreed, nodding her head enthusiastically.
“Well, one text does not right the world. He should have called, or stopped by… with more wine.” Izzy giggled.
“It’s not the fact that he sent a text, which is a chicken shit way of apologizing. It is the fact that he was a complete ass munch because I told him to take care of himself and then he told me he shouldn’t have hired me. Like I was responsible for wrecking his day and his team being so tired they barely knew their names.” Roni huffed out. “His split personality is giving me a headache.”
Izzy chugged more wine. “He is a nice guy. He really does seem to care about you. I just think he needs to learn to live a little. From what I understand, his whole world has been that company. He rarely goes out and has not had a real date since college.”
Roni sobered a little staring at her friend with her mouth wide open. “Izzy, how do you know all of that? Did you guys talk the other night when he was here after I fell asleep?”
Izzy chugged about half the bottle of wine and fidgeted. “No, I… um…. I talked to Alex. He called to talk about dinner this weekend. You know the one I have to make him since we lost a bet? Anyway, we got talking and he said he was happy to see Derek breaking free of his bubble. That’s all, no biggie.” The entire time she spoke, Izzy refused to meet Roni’s eyes.
“Dinner? Because of the bet? That is the only reason you talked to Alex? I have a feeling you are hiding something. I think you like him and can’t admit it.” Roni slurred out.
“Nope, just living up to my end of the bet. He is not my type. Plus, he is a player only interested in a night and you know I don’t do that.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself. If I had to guess Alex is more interested than you think. Maybe you should give him a chance.” She knew she was pushing, but hey her love life was in the toilet so she felt she had to get Izzy to have one. Someone in the house should be getting some.
“Never. Going. To. Happen!” Izzy drag out the words. “He is everything I hate in men all rolled up into one beautiful annoying package. Let’s drop it. What is your next move with Prince Geek?”
It was Roni’s turn to chug the wine. “No idea. The drunken horny part of me wants to take a cab to his house and show him what taking time off can be like. The angry drunk part of me wants to be immature and ignore him. I know I need to send some sort of text back though.” She tried, again to focus on the small screen of her iPhone.
When she received no answer from Izzy after a few moments she looked over at her friend to see she had passed out. Great, now she had lost her drinking buddy. Sighing, she tried to stand, nope, not happening. Instead, she grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and laid it across Izzy and herself. She grabbed her phone one last time.
Roni: Drunk and still mad talk later.
She sends the text off to Derek and passed out, hoping tomorrow would be a better day.
Chapter Eighteen
Derek had spent the day working, trying to get his mind off of Roni. He checked his phone every five minutes hoping to see a text or a missed call from her. Every time he looked at his phone he saw the same thing, a blank screen. He had tried to construct a couple of texts apologizing to her, yet again. None of the short text seems to come out right.
He did send her a picture of himself holding a piece of paper that said, ‘I’m a bad CEO, I yelled at my wonderful girlfriend for no reason.’ But even that did not earn him a response. So he did what he always did, he buried himself in work. He figured if he didn’t hear from her by the time his babysitting gig was over he would go over to her house and beg.
The doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of his beloved niece. Caroline had been making jokes all week about Derek watching little Netty. Caroline even sent him a YouTube video on diaper changing. Ok, so he may have watched it a few times, but really how hard could it be to take care of a 6 month old for three hours. He figured babies sleep most of the time anyway. She would sleep in the nice portable crib he had set up in his home office for her and he would work, win-win. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing Derek?” Caroline asked him as she walked into his house handing him his beautiful niece. His sister was dressed casually in a nice sweater, jeans and black leather boots. He rarely saw her in anything other than her weekend mom attire, jeans and an old sweatshirt.
Derek laughed, causing Netty to laugh. “Yes, Caroline. I am sure I can manage to care for a baby for three hours without having to call in the National Guard for help.” Seriously why did no one think he could manage this? Netty was quietly staring at him. Her little fist shoved in her mouth, drool pouring out.
Caroline shook her head at him. Laughing, she stated, “You have no idea what you are in for. She may look all cute and cuddly now, but just wait the witching hour is almost upon us.” Derek had no idea what that was supposed to mean, so he just smiled at Netty. Playing like he was biting the side of her fist that was not in her mouth. Netty laughed again. This kid was seriously cute and happy. “Anyway, she’s eaten, had her bath and is in her jammies. All you have to do is entertain her for about an hour, change her, give her a bottle and put her to bed. Can you handle that super geek?”
“Yes of course, Netty and I will be fine. If all I have to do is change her once and give her a bottle why do have that huge bag?” Caroline had a
diaper bag the size of the luggage he would take on a weeklong business trip. How much stuff did a 15 pound baby need to survive three hours with her uncle?
“Trust me, this bag may weigh more than she does, but you will need all the goodies inside of it.” Caroline walked through his house to his kitchen in the back. He had a ranch house with an open floor plan. The house was sparsely decorated in muted colors and masculine leather furniture. Nothing much, but considering most of the time he lived more at the office than at his actual home, he didn't care.
She deposited the bag on the dark oak kitchen table. As she began to pull stuff out of the bag, he began to wonder if he could do this. “First, we have diapers and wipes.” She deposited a small stack of diapers and a container of wipes on the table. “Next, we have extra clothes in case of a blowout.”
“A blowout?” Derek asked, looking at his sister as though she was crazy.
“Yes, a blowout. It is when she shits so much that the diaper can’t handle it all. Those are the fun ones to change, shit runs down her legs and up her back.” Caroline was smiling in amusement at the look of pure disgust on his face. “Those are rare these days you should be fine. Finally, we have the entertainment section of the bag. Here is her doll and binky. Very important items. They must be with her when you lay her down or trust me, you will hear about them missing. She can be very demanding.” Again she laughed.
“You are enjoying this way too much. Really Caroline, we will be fine. I will manage if she has a ‘blowout’, bottle time and bedtime. Trust me. Just go have fun. You are not dressed for a bar or club so what is on the agenda for the night?”
“Just dinner with friends. An adult conversation! I can hardly wait. Thank you so much for this. You know I won’t leave her with anyone.” She sighed, looking a bit sad. “This is the first time out since she was born. I am warning you I may call every five minutes to check on her.” She kissed his cheek and took Netty from him. “Ok Netty, you are good for your uncle. I love you baby girl.” Caroline gave Netty a hug and kiss, then handed her back to Derek. His heart broke seeing his little sister so sad.
“Go have fun, don’t worry. We really will be fine.” He walked Caroline to the door. He practically had to kick her out before she would stop kissing Netty and leave.
“Now that your mommy is gone, let’s party.” Derek tossed Netty in the air. Causing both a giggle and burp. He brought her into his living room, sitting her on the floor with some of the toys that he had in the house for when Caroline came over. Laying on his stomach in front of her. Derek grabbed the remote to put on the hockey game. He could totally do this. Netty was a happy easy going baby. This would be a breeze.
His cocky attitude toward his babysitting gig lasted exactly ten minutes. His sweet niece had suddenly and without reason turned into a crying mess. He had spent the past hour, walking his screaming niece around his house. Up the hallway to the bedrooms and back to the living room. He even tried to put in one of the crappy videos Caroline had ensured him calmed her. His sister was a big fat liar. Nothing was going to smooth this beast. “Oh, Netty baby what can I do to help.” He said in a soothing voice, kissing her on the forehead.
That is when the screaming stopped. Derek took a deep breath and smiled, thinking the million miles he had walked around his house had done the trick. Netty’s face scrunched up a bit and she made a little grunt sound. Suddenly his eyes were burning from the worst smell in the world. A house full of frat boys could not create the smell in a bathroom his little niece just had inflicted on him. He even gagged a little. Netty’s screaming resumed. “Oh Netty what on earth is your mother feeding you?” He idly asked as he held the screaming stinky baby at arm’s length.
Derek had thought ahead and placed a towel on the carpet in the living room. Along with the diaper changing supplies. He laid his niece down, determine to eliminate the foul smell as quickly as humanly possible. He began to change her and suddenly understood the term ‘blow out’. “Really Netty? You couldn’t save that one for your mom?” He quickly stripped the baby and began the job of cleaning up all the shit that had come out of her.
As Netty screamed and Derek frantically cleaned her off, he realized he needed backup. Alex would be no help. The only person he knew who could come save him was probably still mad at him for yesterday. Sighing, he decided to make the call anyway. As Netty tried to crawl away from him again as he tried to put a new diaper on her, he grabbed her with one hand and his phone with the other. “Roni, oh thank God you answered!”
“What is it Derek?” Roni’s pissed off tone was expected. After all, he was a complete asshole to her yesterday.
“Look, I know you’re pissed, I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t have called except I really need your help.” Yes, he was begging, but he was at Defcon 1 and needed reinforcements if Netty and he were going to survive this evening.
“What is that noise?” He thought he heard laughter in her tone now. He knew he could use that to his advantage.
“That noise, is Netty, the demon child! The first ten minutes were fine. She has been screaming for an hour now. No matter what I try she screams. Now she is shitting all over the place! And I do mean all over the place. I don’t know what to do. I can’t call Caroline, and Alex would be well Alex. So I called you to beg and plead for you to come over and help. Please Roni!” Derek knew he sounded like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Roni was laughing in his ear. “I thought you said this was going to be a breeze?” She mocked. Then she said nothing for a long period of time. He held his breath, ready to beg more if need be to get her to come help him soothe the beast. Finally, in her original pissed off tone she spoke softly. “For Netty I will come rescue you. Text the address and I will be there. I am in my pajamas with no makeup and my hair is a mess. So you will just have to deal with that look.” With that she hung up.
Derek let out the breath he had been holding. “The Calvary is on its way little one. Just hang on a few minutes, Roni will know what to do.” Derek hoped anyway.
***
Roni had been snuggled in her bed eating candy to heart's content and watching a bad action movie when the phone rang. She had debated if she should answer it after seeing who it was. But who was she kidding, she had no will power when it came to Derek. Now she was walking up to the door of the beautiful ranch style house, in her pajamas for the love of God.
The landscaping was perfect with large trees surrounding the house and small pine trees lining the driveway. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Before her hand had even left the button the large oak door opened, revealing a much disheveled Derek. He was shirtless. His hair was sticking up in every which way. His facial expression was one of pure terror. And was that baby poop on his cheek? In his arms was a screaming baby in only a diaper. A diaper that looked as though it was on backwards. She couldn’t help herself, she burst out laughing.
“I...I...I don’t know what to do.” Derek sounded and looked totally overwhelmed. A look he did not wear well.
“For starters, you can let me in.” She walked past him taking the baby from him as she did. She regretted the fact that she had taken a breath in through her nose. Pushing back the gag that wanted to erupt. “What is that smell? And what happened to the living room?” Knowing Derek was a neat freak based on his office, she could not believe the mess she had walked into. Toys, baby clothes, his shirt and diapers littered the room. “Netty, you have done quite the number on your uncle’s perfectly organized life.” Netty rubbed her eyes with her little fists. Looks like this screaming marathon had taken its toll on little Netty too. Turning to look at Derek, Roni said. “Here’s the plan, you’re going to go shower because I think you have poop not only on your cheek but in your hair too. While you get defunked I’m going to clean up Netty and try to settle her down.” She put up a hand as he started to protest. “Go! You stink and you look like you need a time out.”
Derek ran a hand through his hair, coming out with his h
and smeared with crap. Roni cuddled her face into Netty to hide her smile. “Um yeah, I think that’s a great idea. Roni you’re a life saver. Thanks for coming to my rescue.” He disappeared down the hall after that.
Netty was no longer screaming, but giving small whimpers. “I know baby, I know men are just stupid. You’ll find that never changes.” She snuggled the baby, close again. Realizing the baby smelled too, she went in search of the diaper bag. She didn’t know Caroline well, but she knew she was a dedicated mom and would have packed for every situation. Digging through the bag she came up with some baby soap and clean clothes. “Come on princess, let’s find the spare bathroom and see if we can’t get you smelling good again.”
Ten minutes later she had Netty playing in the tub. The baby actually looked happy. Derek walked into the guest bathroom as she sat on the floor in front of the tub keeping an eye on Netty. “She looks happy again. How did you do that?” Derek said with awe.
She turned to see Derek dressed in Star Wars pajama bottoms, a tight fitting shirt with dark blue letters that read Trust me I’m a Jedi and bare feet. He had ditched his contacts for black wide rimmed glasses. He made nerd look hot. “Nice jammies. “ She giggled. The giggle was more to cover the instant heat that bloomed in her from seeing him, than it was laughing at him.
“I know Star Wars is the best right?” He smiled down at her and twirled like a model would. She laughed more. “Seriously, how did you calm her down?”
“Didn’t you notice she was biting her fist and anything else that came near her mouth?” He looked at her like she was nuts. “She’s teething you doofus. There was some medicine at the bottom of the diaper bag for her gums. A little of that, a little lavender bubble bath, and a bottle and she should be ready to crash.”
Falling Into You (Geek to Chic) Page 15