by Mia Ford
“Hey, earth to asshole,” my brother said, tapping on my head. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah,” I said, pulling myself from my happy place and taking in a deep breath. “I heard you.”
“So, what’s going on?”
I looked at Jordan for a moment and turned back to Tiffany who pulled herself out of the clouds as well. I picked up my coffee and took a sip, trying to decide whether to tell him or not. I knew Tiffany didn’t want to tell anyone anything yet, at least not until the dinner. I looked back at Tiffany who had just completed processing what Jordan was asking. She shook her head no to me and winked. I understood why we needed to keep the information to ourselves, but I just loved watching my brother completely deflate when he was in a mood like the one he was currently in. His cockiness had reached an entirely new level, and news like this would deflate him in about two seconds flat. But I let out a deep breath as she shook her head, knowing I had to respect her decisions on this one.
“Sunday,” she said staring into my eyes.
“Gotcha,” I replied. “Sunday.”
I looked over at my brother and shrugged my shoulders. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, pouring more black coffee in his cup and walking out of the room. I was glad he left us alone again, but I had to tear myself away from Tiffany in order to get any work done. It was bad enough that I was going to be sitting there processing the news, but on top of that, I wanted to hold Tiffany and care for her. I knew if I was nervous about all of this, she was, too. And I knew if I was happy about all of it, she would be, too. So, I mustered up my strength of focus and leaned in, kissing her on the chin before heading back to my office. From my chair, I watched her walk down the hall and turn into her room. She looked kind of like a sleepwalker, her eyes glazed over and her steps not as graceful as usual.
I guess I couldn’t blame her. She was pregnant, and we were about to unleash that information on everyone we loved the most, including my brother Jordan. It was his response that I feared more than anything. Hopefully, he could keep his cool.
Chapter 26
Tiffany
I’m pregnant. I’m freaking pregnant. I just kept telling myself that repeatedly all day long. It didn’t matter what I was doing, from brushing my teeth to putting gas in my car, the feeling of knowing I was growing a person in my body was completely blowing my mind. I had never gotten a piece of news that affected me in the way this was affecting me. I just couldn’t believe after all of that, one lunchtime sex session after days of sexting, led to me being pregnant. Jason was really impressed that we knocked it out after just the first time. I was impressed that after being told that I had a higher chance of hitting the lottery than getting pregnant, I knocked it out of the park. Either I needed a new doctor, or I needed to start playing the lottery because the reality was, I was pregnant. Until now, I’d never really understood what a woman felt like when they found out they were expecting. I was in shock and awed at how amazing all of it really was.
I was sitting at the table at John and Lily’s, chewing the steak that Lily had prepared. Was the baby supposed to even have steak? I suppose I’d have to learn all this now. I knew very little about pregnancy, having never been around any pregnant women or small children for that matter. I knew that my doctor would fill me in on everything I was and wasn’t allowed to have, but the thoughts kept popping into my mind. I didn’t mind it, though, since it kept my mind off the fact that we were about to reveal our big secret to everyone, including Jordan who was sitting across the table scowling at me as I ate. I didn’t know what his problem was, but if he thought he was pissed at me now, just wait until he finds out the news. I was almost nervous about letting him know. I shouldn’t have been because he was no one to me anymore other than my baby’s uncle. Still, the idea of letting everyone in on our secret was more than a little terrifying.
“So,” Jason said putting down his fork. “Tiffany and I have something we’d like to tell you.”
“Sure, honey,” Lily said, giving him her attention. “What is it?”
“Well,” he said, taking in a deep breath. “It wasn’t planned, and we had no idea it could even happen. This took us completely by surprise, but we found out recently that we’re having a baby.”
Lily put her hands to her face and smiled big, letting out a gasp. John shook his head and laughed, reaching over and taking Lily’s hand. There it was. We had told everyone the big news. I smiled at Lily, who seemed more than excited to be becoming a grandmother. Jason reached over and took my hand, pulling it into his lap and looking over at me in awe. All that stress and worry and in two seconds, the news was out. We apparently didn’t like to do anything in our relationship without having a bit of shock value to add to it. I looked down in my lap and then up at Jordan who looked like he was still processing what was just said. I was nervous for his reaction and sat there squeezing Jason’s hand as the table quieted and Jordan responded.
“What the hell?” he yelled.
“Jordan,” Jason said, putting up his hand.
“No, fuck you,” Jordan interrupted, very angry. “You are just a crazy whore trying to ruin everyone’s life. I wasn’t good enough to watch ruin, so you latched onto my brother.”
“Hey,” Jason yelled standing up. “Shut your damn mouth about Tiffany. You’re the one who left her when you thought she couldn’t have kids. You just dropped her on her ass because she didn’t fit into this crazy mold you have in your head on how you think a woman should be.”
“How do you even know she’s telling the truth? She could be lying about the whole damn thing,” Jordan screeched, standing up and pushing back his chair. “You are a disgrace.”
“Hey,” John said loudly, hushing the crowd. “Jordan, that is enough from you. Don’t think you can sit here and ruin something so beautiful. If she was told she couldn’t have children and she got pregnant, it is something to celebrate, not belittle her because it didn’t happen the way you wanted it to. This is not your life. It is Tiffany and Jason’s. You either get past it or keep your mouth shut. I won’t have you disrespecting anyone at my dinner table.”
Jordan pushed his chair backward so hard that it fell over. He turned from the table and stomped out of the dining room. I could hear his feet slamming against the floors as he made his way toward the door. I flinched as he slammed the front doors behind him. I looked over at Jason, who was shaking his head and rubbing his face.
“I’ll take care of it,” Jason said, leaning down and kissing my head before he walked out of the room and to the front where Jordan would be.
My mind raced with thoughts and emotions. On the one hand, I was upset about the fact that Jordan took our news so personally. On the other hand, I could not help if they told me I couldn’t have children and then, poof, I ended up pregnant. Jordan had never given us a chance. It was not the ideal situation, but I loved Jason, and I loved this baby. I wasn’t going to sit there letting him talk to us that way and ruin our happy moment. I was glad Jason was there to handle it, knowing Jordan would make me angrier than what was safe for me. I watched as Lily stood up and walked around the table, reaching over and wrapping her arms around me. The look on her face was pure excitement, and immediately, I started to feel better about what just happened.
“This is such amazing news,” she whispered as she hugged me. “We have to celebrate. Put Jordan out of your mind. He will come around, eventually. Right now, we should be thankful for the abundance of gifts and celebrate the coming arrival of our very first grandchild.”
“I’m so glad you feel that way,” I said, hugging her back. “Jason and I are absolutely thrilled with the news. It is a miracle I ever got pregnant in the first place.”
I looked up as Jason walked back in the room, hugging his father and smiling at me. John looked excited beyond himself, and I saw Jason let go of his irritation from Jordan and allow himself to enjoy the celebration his parents were trying to put forth. John walked over as I stood and wrapped his arms ar
ound me, kissing the top of my head. I could feel the fatherly love emanating from him, and I closed my eyes, allowing myself to feel it for the first time in my life.
We moved into the living room where the service staff brought out a bottle of champagne and a bottle of sparkling cider for me. Jason opened both bottles and poured the bubbling liquid into the glasses, handing me the sparkling cider. He raised his glass in the air, and we all followed suit.
“To a life of happiness and love,” Jason said.
“To our new beautiful grandchild,” Lily said.
“To many days and many nights chasing little bare feet through the house,” John said.
“To miracles moving us beyond celebration and into a time of healing,” I said, looking over at Jason.
I was so excited that everyone wanted to celebrate, and I smiled and laughed right along with them, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but feel bad. I knew that I had a right to feel however I wanted and so did Jordan, but I couldn’t fully put myself into the celebration, knowing how upset Jordan was and how badly Jason and I had hurt him. I sat there quietly, listening to Jason and his parents talking excitedly about the new baby, trying to shake the feeling of guilt I had.
Sure, Jordan had treated me terribly, and for all intents and purposes, I didn’t owe him any explanation for my choices, but that didn’t mean it was right of me to completely bash his heart. I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for Jordan anymore, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a human being, capable of understanding when certain news should be delivered in a different way to different people. I should have sat down with Jordan and explained things better. I should have told him about the doctors I was going to and how they were already under the impression that my last doctor wasn’t completely correct in my diagnosis. With as angry as I wanted to get at him, I knew that he had cared for me at one point and wasn’t as ruthless as I told myself when deciding to divorce me. It was difficult information to handle, thinking you would never have your own children. He probably felt especially cheated now that Jason and I were expecting.
We stayed for another hour or two, talking and celebrating before my constant yawning caught Jason’s attention. He took me home, so I could get some good rest in my own bed, and though I would miss being by his side, it felt really good to be home. I went to the fridge and grabbed a big glass of juice and some fruit and sat down in the living room. I picked up my phone, realizing I had missed one incredibly important person in the announcement process. Mona.
“Hey, slut,” she answered, making me laugh.
“Hey,” I said. “I have news.”
“I like news,” she said. “Unless it's bad, then I don’t like it.”
“Guess who is pregnant,” I said.
“Hmm, Angelina Jolie? I knew that slut had a lover on the side. Poor Brad,” she said, laughing. “No? Is it someone I know?”
“Yep,” I said cheerfully.
“Dude, I have no idea,” she replied. “I could—wait. Is it you?”
“Ding, ding, ding.” I laughed.
“What? You’re pregnant?” The tone of Mona’s voice was more excited than any other time I had ever talked to her. “I can’t believe this! Are you happy? Is Jason happy?”
“We are both really happy,” I said, pleased with her enthusiasm.
We talked for over an hour after that as Mona went on and on about how excited she was. I could hear her on the other line typing on the computer as she talked about planning the baby shower, picking out furniture, and all the other exciting things I hadn’t yet had a chance to really think about. She had some crazy ideas for a gender reveal party, and I just sat back and let her get even crazier talking about everything. It was nice to have someone to talk to who didn’t make me think about all the stressful aspects of this pregnancy. Still, in the back of mind, hiding in the shadows was that guilt about how Jordan had found out. I couldn’t help but think that everyone should have stepped back for a second and given him a little extra room to understand what happened. I was worried he would never come around, and Jason would be left with a rift in his relationship. Our child wouldn’t have an uncle to grow up with. For all of Jordan’s faults, in the end, he was not a bad person, and I really needed to start thinking of a way to repair the damage everything had done to our relationship. If not for me, then for the father of my child.
Chapter 27
Jason
I walked into the office with a new pep in my step, greeting everyone with a good morning, and making my way to my desk. It was the first time I was this excited about being at work. There was something invigorating about becoming a father, and it filtered down into everything around me. I had a brand new purpose in life, a meaning to everything I was working for, and it no longer just affected me. Though the pressure was a lot to handle, I took it and turned it into a positive, almost a challenge to myself to be the best man I could possibly be so that I could set a good example for our child. I wanted to show my child that hard work paid off, that treating others with fairness and respect was something that should be done on a daily basis, and I wanted to provide a life for my new family that was more than ideal. I wanted to never need for anything and only want for something out of choice, not out of necessity. But still, sitting down in my office chair and staring over at Tiffany, I couldn’t help but notice she had been acting weird since the night before at my parent’s house.
Jordan had been an extremely important part of Tiffany’s life, and she was revealing to him that she had acquired a dream with someone else, the dream that happened to be what split them apart in the first place. I understood why Tiffany felt we should have sat down with Jordan and really explained things, instead of including him in with the celebrations, understanding that it may not feel like an exciting thing to him. He wanted children of his own. He had the understanding of pride and accomplishment that went along with having your own family, and he had made a decision, not based on love but based on those wants, that had left him alone. He had to stand on the outside and watch his ex-wife become pregnant by another man, the thing that kept him from staying with her in the first place. I couldn’t even imagine how hurtful and angering that must be for him. However, having given him that due respect, there was still no reason for him to act and behave the way he did toward her at my parent’s house. He had said some horrible things to Tiffany, and everyone noticed that it really did affect her. I tried to talk to him, but by the time I got out there, he was racing off in his sports car, waving his hand at me as he passed.
I looked over at Tiffany as she sat at her desk, going through files and typing on her computer. She had been very quiet during the celebrations and had insisted on sleeping at her own house the night before. I wanted to keep her close, but I also understood I needed to give her space when she was feeling overwhelmed and understand that I couldn’t fix every single issue she had. Still, I couldn’t help but be worried at how withdrawn she had gotten after Jordan’s outburst. I could tell there was more going on in her head than what she was saying. What I didn’t know was whether she was just hurt or if she really felt bad for getting pregnant with me and not him. I was trying to be as understanding as I possibly could. This had to be a bit confusing for her on that front. However, as I sat there watching her sullen face, I started to worry that I was going to lose her. I had this perfect picture of our lives, with her as the wonderful and amazing mother and me as the doting father, but those were my dreams. I really wished she would talk to me so I could head off whatever might be coming from the thoughts going on in her head. I loved her more than anything and the thought of losing her and the baby was so crushing, it almost made it hard to breathe.
After about an hour, I got up from my desk and went looking for Tiffany. She had left her office earlier and had yet to come back. I didn’t want to smother her, but seeing as she was in a bit of a fragile position, I couldn’t help worrying about her. On top of all of that, I knew there was something going on in her head,
and I wanted to get to the bottom of it, for her peace of mind and mine. I needed her to know that whatever she was feeling, she could talk to me about, even if it hurt me, and even if I had to open my mind to a broader perspective. I felt like she was pushing me away at every single turn. I walked into the break room and smiled, watching her standing in front of the coffee machine, her cute little dress blowing back and forth as she moved. She reached up for a cup and poured some coffee into it.
“Are you allowed to have coffee?” I asked the question in the nicest tone possible, truly unsure of what was allowed.
“Yeah,” she sighed. “My doctor said I could have up to 100 mg of caffeine per day, so one cup of coffee isn't going to hurt. Especially since we stock the office with the crappiest coffee we can find.”
“I always thought it was punishment.” I laughed, walking over next to her. She smiled at me and looked back at her cup, stirring it slowly.
“Hey,” I said, putting my hand on hers. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting strange ever since last night.”
She sighed and looked up at me, tears tugging at the corners of her eyes. I turned her toward me and pulled her in close, rubbing her back with my hands. Whatever it was, I needed her to get it off her chest and let it out, even if it was something I couldn’t fix.
“I feel terrible,” she said, pulling away. “To be completely honest, the way Jordan reacted last night made me feel absolutely horrible. It wasn’t what he said as much as how much pain I could see in his eyes as he looked at us. I wish we had pulled him aside and really explained what happened. I think we were reckless just including him in the announcement. How could we possibly think he would be happy for us? No, he didn’t act on the best choice possible, but it’s Jordan we’re talking about here. We all know he lashes out when he’s hurt by something. I feel awful for being so negligent with his feelings. I really felt like it made us no better than him. It was almost like we did it on purpose to make him feel terrible. If you look at it from his perspective, you have everything he was trying to create and with the woman he tried to create it with.”