by Ally Adams
He nodded. “I like the time out.”
“Tell me, Tomás,” I started.
“Yes, Al... iss,” he looked at me with a hint of a smile.
“Why can’t you be free at home?”
“Ah.” He pulled me in closer again. “I can now I guess. But that’s a fairly new thing.” He hesitated, putting his words together. “You see, my father cleared out one day... when I was twelve, just left.” He did a vanish-into-thin-air motion with his hands. “My mother, God bless her, was left with five of us under twelve. I was the eldest, then I had twin sisters a year younger, a brother who was nine then, and Valentina—Tina—is the baby, you met her… she was eight when my father left. So I guess we all stepped up and grew up a bit, but I feel like I’ve helped raise a family,” he shrugged. “Now, everyone has finished school, my contract has bought my mother a good house and she won’t have to work again and I am free.”
I nodded and looked at him with new admiration.
“If I go home, I am pulled into all the family stuff and while that is great, I just want to be me for a while.”
“I get it,” I said. “You’ve had so much responsibility from such a young age.”
“They are my family, it’s what you do,” he said, and shrugged; Tomás wasn’t good at taking compliments.
“But you were a boy,” I said.
“I was the man of the house when my father left.”
“You are such a good person, Tomás. Your father was irresponsible, but clearly you didn’t get that trait,” I teased him. “You deserve some time off for good behavior.”
He grinned. “That’s one way of looking at it. Let’s sit,” he suggested and dropped to the sand, suit and all. He raised his arms for me and lowered me between his legs, wrapping his arms around me. Nothing else existed in the universe in that moment; it was perfect. We sat that way in silence for a little while until Tomás broke it.
“I have something for you,” he said and reached into the outside pocket of his jacket that I was wearing. He pulled out a little black velvet pouch and gave it to me.
“What’s this?” I asked looking from the pouch to him. The words of the models at the bar came back to me... he gives good gifts. Was this going to be my first and only date with Tomás and this was a pay-off?
“Open it,” he insisted.
I pulled open the black cord on the small pouch and pulled out a beautiful Pandora bracelet in silver with half a dozen mosaic blue and green ball charms. I knew it would have been expensive—far too expensive to give a girl on a first date.
“Wow, it’s beautiful,” I sighed, admiring it. “I love it, but I can’t accept it,” I slipped it back into the black velvet pouch. “It was good of you to think of me.”
Tomás frowned, a look of confusion on his face.
“Why can’t you accept it, Al...iss? It’s for you.”
“I know, but why?” I slipped it back into his jacket pocket.
He shrugged. “I thought you would like it. Don’t girls always like jewelry?”
I turned so I could see his face. “I like you, Tomás. I don’t want anything from you,” I said, and studied him.
He looked bewildered. His eyes narrowed. “Oh, I understand, you think it means something? It doesn’t have to mean anything, it’s just a gift.” He shrugged.
I realized where he was going now; he assumed I was scared that I would have to ‘put out’ in return. Wow, this guy really traded in favors.
I shook my head. “No. What I think is that you don’t realize that not everyone wants something from you.”
He laughed. “Yes, they do. Everyone.” He had the good grace to look a little sheepish then, and pulled me against him so I wasn’t studying his face anymore. He looked back out to sea, his cheek pressed against mine.
“No, Tomás,” I said, softly. “I’m just happy to be in your company. I don’t want or need a single thing from you.”
I felt him swallow and he didn’t say anything, processing it all. I imagined he would run that through his mind a few times in the future. I suspected he was so used to family and lovers all needing him or expecting something from him that he didn’t know how to just give himself. Maybe he thought that wasn’t good enough? I wonder if he knew how to ask for what he wanted in a relationship or how to receive. We sat in silence listening to the waves crashing. A breeze picked up across the ocean and I realized he might be cold while I sat wrapped in his jacket.
“Are you cold? Do you want your jacket back?” I asked.
“I’m not cold,” he said. He continued to press his cheek against mine. “Tell me, Al... iss, where is your mother? She was not there tonight to meet me.”
“No.” I swallowed and was pleased I didn’t have to look at Tomás. “Cancer took her when I was fourteen—seven years and two months ago.”
“It is still very raw?” he asked.
“No, not raw anymore, but I miss her every day. They say it gets easier, but it doesn’t, it just gets different. Does that make sense?”
“Yes. I understand,” he said, tightening his hold on me.
I told him about how Dad, Ryan and I all had a role to play but I was never burdened by it the way he was; we just all did our bit to contribute. Financially Mom’s insurance meant we never struggled.
“Can I ask you another question?” I said.
“I thought you were doing events, not journalism,” he said, with a smile.
“Yeah, I might have missed my calling,” I said.
“Ask away,” he invited me.
I took a deep breath.
He prodded me. “Hurry up and ask because I have to kiss you and once I start, I can’t stop for question time.”
I laughed. My heart was telling me to forget the question and go straight to the kissing, but I asked anyway.
“You know when I slept in your bed and you didn’t go all the way with me...” I began.
“Oh, I know it well,” he said. Like a trigger reaction, I felt his erection pressing into the back of me. My own breathing increased... I kept going. “Did you not do it with me because you thought I would be...” I tried to find the right words, “...not good because I’m inexperienced or... you thought if we did it, you’d have some sort of responsibility to me after?” There, I had put it out there. I felt my stomach drop as he hesitated to answer.
I guess I was hoping he would say that wasn’t the case and he would say it really quickly to assure me, but he didn’t.
“I’ll tell you when I take you home,” he said. “And I am going to take you home tonight Al...iss, but I am not going to take your virginity.”
“Okay,” I said, slowly. “Why?”
“Because the first time I did it, it was awful, she was such a bitch. I don’t want that for you and that’s partly the reason why I pulled away,” he confessed.
I didn’t say anything, I wanted him to keep talking, keep sharing what ‘partly’ meant and his reasons for not contacting me for over a week since that night I slept in his bed.
Tomás continued. “I wasn’t sure if I wanted something regular. Okay, that’s not quite right. I was sure I didn’t want a regular girlfriend.”
I felt my heart drop; I think it fell into my stomach. I didn’t speak as I tried to work out what to do with this information.
“But I couldn’t shake you.” His voice cut through my overactive mind. “You kept coming into my head. So, here we are. Are you prepared to continue the great date knowing what you know?”
I breathed out. “I’m prepared to take that ride,” I said, leaning my head back further onto his shoulder, cheek to cheek. I heard him laugh a little and my heart felt lighter again.
Chapter 14
I can’t remember the trip to Tomás’s house; he drove and my stomach fluttered the whole way. I was running through scenes in my head—so, we’re going to his place but he’s not taking my virginity... hmm? What will we be doing? Maybe it will be like a Finn ambush and he won’t be able to hold
back when we get there. When exactly is he planning on taking it? I was thinking way too much. He spun the car into the driveway and I noticed Valentina’s level of the house was in darkness.
“We have the house to ourselves. Tina is away for a few nights,” Tomás said, and turned off the car engine. “Are you sure you want to be here, Al...iss?”
I turned to face him. “Tomás, there is nowhere else on the entire planet that I want to be right at this moment,” I said, looking into his eyes and holding his gaze.
A slow smile spread across his face. “Ah bella, you are something.” He leaned in and kissed me. “Let’s go inside.”
I opened my car door and before I was out of the car, Tomás had come around to close it and had taken my hand. He opened the house door at entrance level, flicked on a few lights and led me the way we came last time, although my memory was a bit blurry.
“I would offer you a coffee, but that would waste time and I want to explore you,” he said, and continued to lead me past the kitchen and living area to his bedroom.
“No coffee,” I agreed. I started feeling terrified and excited and, aagghh, well lubricated. Did I just go there? But it was so true, I was overheating and moist for Tomás. I wanted him but I didn’t want to be one of his wham bam girls. Why now? Why not the other night? Maybe because I was more sober he felt better about it. Stop thinking now, I ordered myself.
We entered his room and he slipped his jacket off and placed it over the back of a chair—so sexy in a white T-shirt and suit pants. I stood, feeling like a spare lamp.
“Can I use the bathroom?” I asked.
“Of course, Cookie. Next door to your right,” Tomás said turning on a small lamp which gave the room a soft glow.
I nodded and retreated to the bathroom. Thanks to Mia, I had a handy pack of supplies in my purse, all miniatures. I did a quick wipe down below... I was so wet, so very wet. I dabbed just a little perfume on and did a quick brush of my teeth. Nose powdered, dress straightened, underwear on correctly—all systems go.
I returned to the room but now Tomás was missing. I put my bag down and wandered around taking in his room—again. For a man who can dress himself so well, his taste in bedroom furnishings was surprisingly ordinary. The stripes and patterns, miss-matching sheets and quilt covers—it surprised me that Valentina hadn’t offered to decorate his abode for him. On the bright side, the bed was huge, king size with a big four-poster bed frame around it. I wasn’t going to go there but you know where I’m going.
I turned on hearing a noise and found Tomás watching me. He was leaning up against the door like a model in a fashion magazine.
“Okay?” he asked, with a mixture of smile and frown.
“Very okay,” I assured him.
He look relieved and moved towards me. Tomás lowered his head and kissed me, placing his other hand on my throat. I had a rush of passion and fear; how easy it would be for a man of his size and strength to take my life, but he moved his hand down my neck onto my chest and to the line of my bra. I stopped breathing.
Tomás stepped me back onto the bed and laid me across it. I watched as he slipped my shoes off and just as quickly removed his belt, lowering himself onto me. I ran my hands along his arms, feeling my insides flutter with the feel of him, the definition of his muscles and how his body reacted to my touch. I felt his erection swell and harden against me as he pressed it into the fabric of my dress. He was so relaxed; he knew all the moves while I was extremely unchoreographed in the bedroom—I’d get better with practice.
Tomás knelt up, pulled his T-shirt over his head and lowered himself on to his side, returning his arm to around my waist. His chest was beautiful; so well defined, and with golden skin. I ran my nails lightly down his back and he moaned, leaning into my mouth to kiss me. His tongue flicked between my lips. God, I wanted him to touch me so badly that my body ached for him. I was so wired that I was sure that I was going to lose it completely the moment he touched my naked skin. If he wasn’t planning on taking my virginity, he was definitely going to take me to orgasm in a heartbeat.
“Al...iss,” he said.
“Yes,” I answered in a lusty haze.
“I promised I would answer your question and I’ve only answered it partly,” Tomás said, continuing to kiss me as he spoke. Seriously, how does he expect me to concentrate on the words coming out of his mouth when he’s flooding me below with every kiss and he’s lying next to me, his hand in my hair and on my chest? He was the only man I’d ever been with so far that I wanted to be with in every sense. Still he was talking...
“I could have easily have taken you last time you came here,” he said, and then his hand started up my dress. I think I stopped breathing.
“And, I would very much like to take you now,” he said. His thumb traced the inside of my thigh. I gasped and he stole the only air I had left to breathe, covering my mouth with his lips. He pulled away only slightly.
“I don’t feel responsible to you if you came here of your own desire and you did, but...”
I waited patiently, barely able to hear his words as his thumb moved away from my thigh and his fingers touched the fabric of my panties.
I moaned softly, and he stopped.
“Tomás... please, touch me,” I begged him.
He gave me the hint of a smile and moved his hand out from under my dress.
“No, where are you going?” I wailed and he chuckled.
“You are so cute, Al... iss.” He reached to the tie at the front of my wrap-around dress and released it.
“Ah, that’s what you were going,” I said, and smiled at him. He didn’t open my dress, just left the tie undone and looked at me.
“Please, just listen to me for one moment.” He rolled his eyes.
“What?” I asked, leaning up on both elbows.
“You girls always want to talk and now I’m talking you don’t want me to,” he said.
I smiled. “I got distracted by that other stuff you’re doing.”
“Making love to you stuff?” he teased, his brown eyes laughing at me.
“Yes, that stuff. Please, finish.”
“Which one?”
“Both. The words and the actions,” I said, a little more insistently, while placing my hands on his bare chest. “I heard what you said and I’m pleased you don’t feel responsible for me.”
“Well when you say it like that it doesn’t sound right,” he frowned. “I feel responsible for getting you home safely but I’m saying you are a grown-up, as am I, and you choose who you want to lose your virginity to, without that guy having to marry you or commit to you.” He shrugged. “But that is not quite how I wanted to say it.”
I touched his cheek with my hand, keeping my other free to roam his arms. I agreed with the marry sentiment, but I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of no commitment. Regardless, I wasn’t going to ask for the definition right here and now for fuck’s sake, I thought, let’s move on.
“I get it,” I assured him. “I’ve had to grow up a bit fast too and I’m not looking for a guy to step in and save me. I just want...” I stopped—I really didn’t want to get into relationship talk on the first official date. “I just want you to touch me.”
“I can do that,” he agreed. “What I want to say, bella, is that you are very different from the girls I have been seeing. They are like me, just in it for some fun. I do want to take your virginity, but I want it to be special for you. I want you to be romanced and no matter what happens for the rest of your days, you will look back on that experience and feel it was special, as you are. Yes?” he said.
Tears welled in my eyes and I didn’t risk speaking. I nodded. He leaned in and kissed me again. I quickly blinked away the tears. When he stopped kissing me, I opened my eyes and he was looking at me again. He brushed under my eye and removed a tear, putting the wet finger on his lip. That act of kissing my tears was so sensual.
“So I will seduce you and then take your virginity when we are read
y. Tonight, only my hands will have the pleasure,” he said.
Thank God I was lying down because I’m sure I would have melted to the floor and needed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Now, he undid the flaps of my dress and, pulling me up off my elbows, he slipped it off me. He rose, placed it on a chair and took off his suit pants at the same time. I fell back in shock.
“What?” his eyes widened.
“It’s enormous; it’s never going to fit!” I exclaimed, teasing him. What a body, OMG. Slender hips, defined six pack, strong arms, tall and lean and... hard.
Tomás laughed. “It will fit; didn’t you get that birds and bee talk? You expand and your lips below swallow it whole inside you,” he said, and grinned. He lay back down beside me and admired my underwear.
“No,” I looked at his enormous erection pressing against the white fitted boxer-briefs he wore. “I’m sure that won’t fit inside me. I’m very tight, you know?” I continued to tempt him. “No one else has been in there before.”
Tomás dropped his head to my chest and groaned.
“Al... iss, if you keep talking like that one of two things is going to happen.”
“What?” I teased, keen to make him say it.
He looked up at me and said quickly, “I’m going to blow my load or I won’t be able to let you leave here tonight as a virgin.” He covered my mouth with his hand before I could respond and then his lips began to trace my body, leaving a trail of goose bumps.
Surfacing for air, he smiled, removed his hand and shook his head at me. “Beautiful, Cookie,” he said, and ran his hand down over my bra and satin pants, taking my breath away.
He moved his thumb under my bra and electricity ran from my nipple to my clit and everywhere in between. Tomás slowly pulled the straps down off my shoulders, and then reaching behind, unclasped my bra and removed it. I tried not to gasp, but this was it, I was half-naked in front of him and so self-conscious.
He made a satisfied sound like a low growl, and began to suck on my nipple. My back arched and I exhaled sharply. Holy fuck that was good. Why hadn’t I been getting nipple sucks before? I’d wasted so much time. I thought that was the ultimate until his teeth grazed me and sent a new wave of glorious shock waves through my body. With a free hand he began to trace along my vagina lips through the fabric of my panties. I could feel his erection enormous and urgent pressing into me. I grazed my fingers up the fabric of his briefs along the length of him and Tomás breathed in sharply, as his body shuddered.