“I’ve had enough.”
“I will not go.”
“You defy me?” His eyes flash with anger. “I am still the king and your father, am I not?”
“You are still both, but what kind of king will I be if not able to stand up to my own father?”
“A wise king knows when he should back down.”
“I am more brave than wise. I will not go until I am heard. Please, Father, let me speak.”
He fixes his intimidating gaze on me, and I can’t tell what his response will be. After several tense moments, he sighs.
“Fine. Speak.”
Taking a deep breath, I walk closer. “I speak to you as your son, your most devoted son, Father. I know I have been a disappointment to you. My actions over the years have been less than princely.” He nods. “Where I failed in my previous apologies, I seek to remedy today.” He raises his hand to stop me, but I press on. “Please, let me finish.” He lowers his hand as I glance at my mother. She smiles. “I was never sorry for the things I did or the decisions I made, and I should not have apologized. I am, however, sorry for things I’ve never expressed to you.”
My father responds with narrowed eyes and a head nod.
“I am sorry that I humiliated you and mother. I am sorry that I made you question my honor and my loyalty. I am mostly sorry… that I never told you that you were, and still are, my hero. I learned during my exile, that perhaps my actions were of a boy who didn’t feel he could ever live up to the greatness of his father, knowing an entire country expected him to. Maybe, he thought he could differentiate himself, lower expectations, so that he had a chance, however slight, to meet them.” My mother rushes to my side, gripping my hand in hers. “I have not always been an ideal prince, even less so of a man, but I have always been a son that loved his father beyond measure. I am still that son, and I will grieve you until it is my time to meet you again in heaven. If you die today or a hundred years from now, you will at least hear me say that I love you. That I will do everything I can to make you and your legacy proud. I pray before you whisper your last breath, that you may return my love.”
He is silent, his eyes switching between me and my mother. Believing he isn’t going to respond, I bow my head. “Thank you for allowing me a few moments.”
I turn to leave, but hear my name. “Lathan?”
I freeze, unable to recall the last time he used it. As I turn around slowly, my chest is tight with anxiety. “Yes, Father?”
“Come closer.” I approach him and stand at the foot of his bed. “Closer still. Beside me.”
Swallowing hard, I move to his side. As he reaches for my hand, I omit a slight gasp. I have longed for his affection for so many years. He squeezes my hand, looking up at me.
“You are a brave man, Lathan. Braver than I. I lived within the safety of these walls while you explored your world. I admire that quality in you. It will serve you well.” I nod as he continues. “But you are correct. You damaged our name to pursue your wild ways, and I was disappointed. I’ve long since gotten over that though.”
“Why did you not speak to me?”
“Because you needed to understand the motives behind your behavior. You needed to explore these things and come to understand your place in this world and in this country. You cannot be me. You can only be you. I see that you have found this understanding.”
“I have.”
“I have not been a warm father. Not kind. Not affectionate, but I have, I hope, instilled in you what it takes to run a country. I have been an example in this way.”
“You have.”
“Lathan, you are my first son. I rest my crown on your head to carry on for me. I have complete faith that you will be a fine king. The people of Havendon share this faith.”
“Thank you, Father.”
“You are my son,” he repeats, “So, I must tell you…” My mother nods, smiling at him. “I am sorry it has taken me thirty-four years to tell you that I am proud to call you my son. I am proud that you will carry my legacy, and Lathan, I will not wait for my last breath to tell you that I love you. I love you as sure as the sun shines. I love you as much today as the day you came to us. I will love you when I pass to my next journey. I will always be with you, as I always have been. You will not see me with your eyes, but you will feel me in your heart.”
Maintaining my composure is difficult in the face of my father’s unexpected admission. My heart pounds and my bottom lips trembles as I try to hold back tears. I have waited, literally, my entire life to hear him tell me he loves me. He squeezes my hand, and I decide to just break character and throw myself on him, embracing him around the waist. My mother gasps, but my father, tentatively at first, pats my back.
“I wish it did not take this event for us to get to this place,” I say.
“It was necessary. I cannot live forever.”
“I want you to.”
“It is your time now, Lathan. Look at me.” I shift my eyes up. “Continue to be brave. Be rebellious. Be you. Your country will support you.”
I hope that’s true.
After leaving my father’s chambers, I walk back to my room, and smile when I see Tristan waiting in the hall. I rush toward him, throwing my arms around him when I reach him.
Tristan pats my back. “Oh, friend, it is so good to see you again.”
Stepping back, I nod my head. “Yes, so good. Please come in.” My steward opens the doors as we walk through. “How have you been?”
“I am well. As happy as I could be. Please forgive my delay. We all caught cold at my house, but are much better now. How is your father?”
As we sit on the sofa, I nod. “You won’t believe it. He just forgave me.”
Tristan’s eyes open wide. “No?”
“He did. He said he’s proud of me.” I blink my eyes rapidly. “Can you believe it?”
Tristan smiles. “I can believe it, and I am so happy for you. How is his health?”
“Poor. It won’t be long now.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.” I look at my friend. “I wasn’t ready for this. I still have so much to figure out.”
“Like what?”
“I’ve been away for so long. I have much to catch up on. I have a lot to learn still about how to be king, and… well… I left someone very important to me in America.”
“Right. Delaney. Have you spoken to her?”
“No. I don’t want to tell her about my life over the phone. She deserves an in person discussion.”
“But you hesitate to go to her.”
“I don’t know what to do. Do I break things off with her to make my transition to the throne easier? Do I sacrifice my happiness for the sake of my country? Or do I run back to Boston and beg her to be my bride? I have no idea.”
“Do you think of marrying her?”
I nod. “I do. When I lie in bed at night, I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“Do you want my opinion?”
“Of course I do.”
“An unhappy man won’t make a good king. If your heart is torn between us and her, how can you focus on your duties?”
“That’s my point. Maybe I need to break it off so I can focus.”
Tristan chuckles softly. “I realize this is the first time you’ve felt this way about a woman, so I’ll help you understand. Breaking up with someone you want to be with doesn’t help you focus. It makes it that much harder to do so. You have to keep her.”
I nod, looking down at my hands. “If it were only so simple. I haven’t told her I’m a prince, much less soon to be a king. I haven’t even been man enough to tell her I love her. I don’t know why I’ve always been so brave, but in this situation, I am a complete coward.”
“I know why. Because, even if you don’t think so, you are a loyal and thoughtful man that will be the same as king. You are thinking of us, putting your own desires aside. It’s honorable in a way, but it’s not the right thing to do. You are brav
e enough to bring her here, and if she is anything like you, she is brave enough to come. There is only one cure for what ails you.” He pats my arm. “Run back to Boston. Beg her to be your bride.”
After spending some time with Tristan, I decide to send Delaney a message to let her know I’m thinking of her. At least she will know that while I might be thousands of miles away, my heart is still in her hands.
A week later, I finally walk back inside my office building. I have to find a way to keep going. It was all just a dream. If it were real, he would’ve called by now. At least to say hi or that he missed me or something. I just have to accept that he isn’t coming back. I’m not the one for him, even though, he’s the only one for me.
Once inside, I walk straight into my office and close the door. I can’t talk to people right now. The best I can do is try to focus on my work. Eventually, I’ll stop crying. I’ll pick myself up, dust myself off, and remember who I was before he walked into my life.
Someday, the pain will subside. The anger I feel over his decision to keep his life secret and the hurt over his lack of contact, all of it will just be a scar instead of the gaping wound it is right now. Wiping a tear away, I turn on my computer. Someday, but not today.
Days after speaking to my father, as I sit with Ophelia and Grace in the garden, my thoughts drift to Delaney. God, I miss her. I still haven’t brought up the topic with my mother, afraid the stress of that coupled with my father’s ailing health will be too much. Every day has been so full of policy and protocol and learning how to be a king, I have little left to give. Still, I can’t stop thinking of her or staring at her picture captured in my phone.
“She is beautiful,” Ophelia says, looking over my shoulder.
“Yes, she is.”
“You miss her?”
“Terribly.”
“Have you spoken to your mother?”
“No. I worry about upsetting her. I just don’t know when the right time will be.”
“Now is good.”
“Why now?”
“She’s coming this way.”
I look up to see my mother strolling with her dogs. Sitting up straight, I take a deep breath. Why not now? I can do it. Standing, I smile at my cousin before heading to where my mother walks. When she sees me, she pauses to let me reach her.
“How are you, son?”
“Well. You?”
“Also well.”
“And Father?”
“Resting.”
I nod as we walk on, my hands folded in front of me. “I’m happy our paths have crossed today. I’ve been meaning to discuss something with you.”
“Yes?”
“Remember the American woman I told you about?”
“Delaney. I won’t forget such an interesting name.”
“Right. Well, before I left to come here, I was spending a great deal of time with her.”
“She’s nice?”
“Very. Obviously, my departure was sudden.”
“Yes, of course.”
“I’d like to see her again.”
Mother smiles. “You want to take a visit to America?”
“Not exactly. I’d like to invite her here.”
She stops walking. “Here?”
“Yes. I’m ready to tell her about my life. I want her to see my country, and hopefully, choose to stay.”
A smile spreads across her lips. “Do you love her?”
“Madly.”
“Oh, son, I never thought the day would come. Yes, please, invite her here. She is welcome.”
“I’m nervous.”
“About?”
“What kind of life can I give her here?”
“An excellent one, like the rest of us have.”
I nod as we walk on. “It’s different than America. So different. They don’t have royalty there. She can go and do what she likes. It won’t be like that here.”
“No, it won’t. You’ll have to explain that to her.”
“I know. I’m just worried that I’m asking her to give up so much.”
“In America, they don’t have royalty, but they do have celebrities. Very famous people.”
“Yes, they do.”
“I follow a website that tells me all of their going-ons. There’s a woman named Kristin Karlyle. Did you ever see her while you were there?”
I laugh. “No, Mother. Never.”
“I know all about her. She gets followed everywhere she goes. People always want to know what she’s wearing, who she’s with, even what she eats. They take pictures of her and her children. She even lets television cameras follow her. There’s an entire program about her life.”
“How is it that you know this, and I was in America for two years and only heard her name in passing?”
She laughs softly. “My point is Delaney is likely aware of how celebrities live in her country.”
“Probably.”
“So, just tell her she’ll be a celebrity. A royal celebrity.”
I nod. “She can probably understand that.”
“Yes, we just have more customs to be aware of.”
“Right.”
Taking my hand in hers, she squeezes it. “Does she love you?”
“I don’t know.”
“How do you not know?”
“We never talked about it. I wanted to tell her, but…” I sigh. “I didn’t.”
“I see. What is your plan then?”
“I want to go to her. Surprise her and tell her about my life. Then I want to beg her to come back with me.”
“When do you wish to go?”
“As soon as you say I can.”
We stop walking again as my mother looks at me with surprise. “You seek my permission? You never have before.”
“I need your support. Other than Ophelia and Tristan, I don’t know who else’s I will have. At a minimum, I need to know you are on my side.”
“Of course I am. If you love her, we will love her. Remember when I told you that?”
I smile. “I do, but it was hypothetical at that point.”
“Lathan, my son, you have always been brave and willing to go against the stream. This is no different.”
“I am on a stage like no other now. Soon, it will be announced that father is not well. As if an American in town won’t attract enough attention, she’ll be the girlfriend of the next king. It’s a big deal.”
“A big deal.” She laughs softly. “I do enjoy your Americanisms.” She pats my arm. “It’s a time of transition and change for all of us. Your father upheld the old traditions, and it’s done us well over the years, but now, it’s time for a new king. A young, modern king with his own traditions and values. Introduce your American girlfriend to us. We can handle it.”
Smiling, I nod. “Do you want to see her picture?”
“You have one? Of course.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket and open it to her picture. In it, we huddle together smiling. We look unbelievably happy and we were.
“She is lovely,” Mother says. “The loveliest. I see why you fell in love with her.”
“Her heart is even prettier than her face. She is amazing. So like me, but also not in all the ways that matter. I know if she gives it a chance she could love it here.”
“Is she rebellious?”
I laugh. “Only since meeting me.”
Mother takes my hand in hers again. “You have my support. I cannot wait to meet her.”
“I don’t want to tell father yet. Our relationship is stable right now, and I don’t want to add any stress.”
“How will you keep him from knowing?”
“I plan to put her in Havendon House where Ophelia will mentor her. I’ll keep her out of the public eye until we feel she’s ready.”
“Excellent idea.”
“I’ll be gone just for the weekend. I’ll tell father I’m going to pick up some things I left behind.” I take a deep breath. “I guess I’m doing it then.”
�
��Yes. Bring your princess back.”
I smile, embracing my mother and laughing as Ophelia claps her hands in happiness for me. By this time tomorrow, I hope I’m back in Delaney’s arms.
On Friday, sitting in my office, I stare out the window at another dreary, overcast day. I’d wish for sun, but this weather suits my mood better. If it would just rain or snow, that would be even better. A knock on my door causes me to look up.
“Come in.”
Stacey and Marie enter, carrying a small pink box. “Hey, boss,” Stacey says, smiling. “We got you something.”
“What?”
She puts the box down in front of me, both women watching as I open it to find an adorable cupcake inside.
“It’s cookies and cream,” Marie offers. “Your favorite.”
Smiling, I nod. “Thanks, girls.”
“Are you okay?” Stacey asks. “It’s so weird to see you down like this.”
Not on any level am I okay. “I’m fine.”
The two women exchange glances, then Marie steps forward. “So, we know we’re not, like, actual friends, but we care about you a lot. If we can do anything, even just catch a beer after a work, we will. All you have to do is ask, and we’ll be here for you.”
Blinking back tears, I offer a slight smile. “He’s a prince,” I blurt.
“Who’s a prince?” Marie asks.
“Lathan.”
“Oooh.” Stacey shuts the door and both women sit in the chairs across from me. “A prince?”
“Yeah, of this small country in Europe. I didn’t know.”
“He didn’t tell you?” Marie questions.
“No.” I pull a tissue from the box on my desk and wipe my nose. “I don’t know why.”
“So, what happened?” Stacey asks. “Why are you sad? Did you guys break up or something?”
Shrugging, I respond. “I don’t know. His dad had a heart attack, and he had to leave suddenly. I haven’t heard from him in like two weeks.”
“Did the dad die?” Marie asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Have you tried calling him?” she continues.
Shaking my head, I sniff. “No. I don’t want to cause him any problems. He told me he has a lot to deal with, especially if his dad passes.” I look up as tears stream down my face. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna see him again.”
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