I went back to work and gave my notice. I had been with the same law firm for over ten years and my notice came with mixed reactions. My immediate boss, Paula, got pissed and would not talk to me. I tried to explain why I was leaving but she was not hearing me. I finally said, “Damn, Donna, I’m leaving the fucking state, not you!” She relented.
I had a lot to do to sever my ties with Baltimore. I started packing and making moving arrangements. I could not fly back to Atlanta with all my stuff and I had no intentions of leaving them behind. My stuff may not have been quality but it was still mine. I started looking into renting a truck. I got prices on different truck lines and found Ryder to be the cheapest, but the only problem was I could not drive a damn truck.
David learned of my Dad’s death from Sherry and we had been speaking on a fairly regular basis since I had gotten back. Although we had not resumed a physical relationship, he was supportive. He called me the night I finally made my decision.
“The kids and I are moving to Atlanta,” I said during the lull in conversation. He didn’t say anything and I peeped at the phone to make sure we were still connected. Part of me wanted him to cry out, “Baby, don’t go,” but the other part of me knew that was not going to happen.
“Oh yeah, when?” he asked.
“I was offered a job and since there is nothing physically holding me here, I accepted. I start in two weeks.” I did not mean that as a personal dig at him; I was just being honest.
“Dag, girl, you fly down there and come back and now you’re moving. You sure do keep a brother hoping,” he said.
“Hoping,” I asked, not understanding where he was coming from. I started to get mad but quickly realized there was no point. “Yeah, I’m going to get rid of the stuff I don’t want to take and rent a truck to carry the rest.” He did not bite. He knew good and well that I couldn’t drive a truck. This would have been his opportunity to step forward and volunteer to help me. I thought that if he had cared about me as much as I cared about him, he would have done just that. Instead, he just let the conversation die.
“Look, I have a gazillion things that I need to do. I will talk with you later,” I said, ’cause staying on the phone was just too painful.
“Oh, okay then; I’ll catch you later.”
I hung up the phone with tears streaming down my face. He had hurt me much more than he had loved me. Although I was still traumatized by the loss of my dad, my tearful episode had David’s name written all over it. I wiped my tears and began the long task of separating the junk from the treasure.
I was given a reprieve when the phone rang again about an half-hour later.
“Hello,” I said, still hoping that David was coming around.
“Hey, baby girl,” Dennis quietly said into the phone. I had left a message on his service that I was back in town but had not spoken with him yet. I started to cry again at the sentiment in his voice. Dennis had also lost his father so he knew what I was going through. I loudly broke down into the phone and he said, “I’m on my way!” He was there before I could wash my face and pull back my wayward hair.
When I opened the door, he just rushed me with this massive hug. I clung to his large frame and cried all the tears of anguish that I thought I had left in Atlanta.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye,” I wailed. “Momma said he just fell over to his side and she called 9-1-1. She never got to say I love you or nothing.”
“Hush, baby girl. I know you are hurting. Just let it out,” he said.
It felt good to be in Dennis’ arms. He rubbed my face and hair at the same time while wiping away the tears that still flowed from my eyes. He kissed each eyelid and the tears stopped for the moment.
“What were you doing, boo?” he gently asked me.
“Packing,” I said between sniffles. I was reluctant to step away from him but he pushed me.
“Packing, for what?” he inquired.
“I’m moving to Atlanta to be near my mother,” I said. I did not need to say any more to him about that since he had done the same when his own father passed.
“When are you leaving and when were you going to tell me?”
“I just decided tonight. Dennis, she needs me and to be honest, I need her,” I said with more tears flowing. He followed me upstairs to my bedroom where I began my packing.
“How are you getting there?” he asked when he looked around my room. “By hurricane?”
“You still got jokes,” I said, attempting to smile. “There is a method to this madness. This pile is trash, this pile is possible and this pile is going with me,” I said, pointing to the largest pile of them all.
“How are you getting there?” he asked again.
“I need to rent a truck but I don’t know how to drive one,” I answered, not expecting him to say anything else about the matter.
“When are you leaving?”
“I got a job there. Did I tell you that? I start in two weeks so I have got to get going.”
“Damn, baby girl, you are moving fast! Are you sure about this?”
I didn’t want to go into the “there is no one to keep me in Baltimore speech” so I simply said, “Yeah.”
“I have some vacation time coming. I could drive the truck for you and fly back,” he said.
“You would do that for me?” I asked stunned.
I dropped to my knees in the pile of clothes. His offer was so unexpected that I didn’t know what to say. Instead of giving way to tears, I said, “You trying to get rid of me?” I chuckled uneasily.
“You need to go, right?”
“Yes, I do,” I replied.
“I want to see Atlanta anyway. Once you get settled, can I count on you for a place to crash?”
“And you know this!” I cried. God has a way of working things out when you don’t know what to do. I stopped packing and Dennis and I worked out the plans. Forever the gentlemen, he wanted to split the cost of gas for the truck. I volunteered to pay for his plane ticket back to Baltimore, but he said I should consider it his going-away present.
For the next week I worked, took care of the kids and packed. I had no time to dwell on the bad things or unfinished things that I had in Baltimore. I spent countless hours on the phone with my mother encouraging her to go on day by day. Dennis and I had planned to leave Thursday night, arriving in Atlanta by Friday and spending the rest of the weekend partying. He would fly back to Baltimore on Monday afternoon.
David came by on the last Monday night that I would spend in Baltimore. He came walking up the alley like there was nothing wrong. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner when I heard the kids in the back yard screaming and laughing it up. I glanced out the window and saw David playing with the kids. It was a touching scene. They had missed him almost as much as I had. I moved away from the window and allowed them to have their time.
I had mixed emotions about his dropping by. On one hand, I felt I needed to see him before I left, but on the other hand, I was pissed as shit that he had wasted the precious time we had left. He came to the back door about twenty minutes later. He knocked and I called out to him from the dining room that it was okay to come in. I had already turned the stove off and was in the dining room putting the finishing touches on the last few boxes in that room.
“Damn, I guess you are really doing this,” he softly said.
“Hello, stranger,” I said over my shoulder, barely looking at his face as I spoke. He grunted and looked around, I guess for a place to sit. Finding no available chair, he said, “Do you need any help?”
“No, not really, the hardest part is done. I’m just doing a little bit before I call them in for supper. Do you want to have dinner with us?”
“Uh, no, I just stopped by to see how you were doing?” I put down the tablecloth that I was folding and walked past him to go back to the kitchen. I felt myself get mad and I wanted to put some distance between us.
“What? You can’t stop a minute to talk to a brother,” he said after a f
ew minutes of silence. I turned and glared at him.
“Hell, I ain’t the one that has been a stranger, my brother!” I snapped.
“I deserved that,” he said. He started walking towards me and I froze. I longed for him to touch me but then again I didn’t want it. It took me a long time to get the yearning for him out of my system. It was too late in the game to rehash that shit.
“Please don’t,” I said, raising my arms to ward him off. Instantly, he was angry as if he had earned the right to be mad.
“Oh, it’s like that. Your ass is going to leave a brother, and now you don’t want to be touched?” His voice was rising as he spoke.
“Don’t you even think about getting no attitude with me. You are the one that quit on us! I’m not some fucking puzzle that you can pick up any time you feel like it and expect all the pieces to still fit. Shit, I was there while you were playing dead.” His head snapped back with each accusation as I put my hands on my hips and flipped my neck.
“And then, when you had a fucking chance to spend some time with me before I left, your ass goes AWOL again! So please, ‘my brother,’ spare me this bullshit!” He raised his arms in defeat and backed up a few feet.
“Can we just sit down and talk like two grown-ups?” he asked, looking for a clear place to park his rump.
“Who are you going to get to stand in for you?” I asked.
“Marie, damn it, I said I deserved all this and more but I need to talk to you now. Can you please give me a moment with no more of your sarcasm?”
I was so mad I could fire-spit! I realized that arguing would not change a damn thing that had transpired between us. I went into the living room and moved a few boxes to the floor. I sat down and he sat next to me. Close but not close enough to rub legs or anything.
“I’ve been an ass,” he said.
“That’s the understatement of the year,” I quipped.
“Are you going to let me finish or what?” he said. He took my silence to mean yes and continued.
“There are a few things that I need to explain to you about me. Number one is my past relationship with my son’s mother. It was the most important relationship in my life. We had it all for a minute. I had a great job and I took pride in the fact that I was the breadwinner. When she got pregnant, she quit work. I held on to everything and I even liked having her home but the pressure got to me. After the baby was born, I took my frustration out on my boss and got fired! I thought she loved me enough to stand by me while I got things together but she didn’t. She left me so quick and cut off all ties I had with my son. She called me a failure.” He looked into my eyes to see if I was still paying attention. I didn’t comment so he continued.
“I vowed to never let my feelings get so involved that I would put myself in that position to feel so much about anyone other than my son and myself again. Then you come along. All of a sudden I want to do for you and your kids and I got lost all over again. When you were speaking about your ex, it brought back all my old pain. I realized that I would never make as much money as you do at my present job and that I would always be lacking in that department unless I got my job back. I could not stand to see the same disappointment on your face so I ran. Can you understand that?” he asked.
“We have been through some of this before, and at that time, I forced myself to understand where you were coming from. I thought we were past that until now. But since you want to talk about old feelings and hurt, it’s my fucking turn. I fell in love with you and you dumped me. Not because of anything that I did to you. You dumped me ’cause of an argument I had with my ex-husband. You did not give me a chance to explain the hell I went through. You tried and convicted me based on your past! Let me tell you something; I never asked you for a thing. Hell, I never asked my husband for a thing but in the end I got fucked!” David grabbed me and kissed me, killing all further arguments. I felt like I had just come home after a long absence.
“May I come back after the kids have gone to sleep?” David asked when we stopped to catch our breath. I had bittersweet tears on my face as I nodded yes. We had four days left. I wanted to make the best of them. I hated that I gave in so easily but I needed that man.
Chapter 15
David came back that night around 9:00 p.m. I was anxious and didn’t know what to expect of the encounter. Part of me wanted to throw on a sexy nightgown but I didn’t want to be rejected again. He swooped me in his arms as soon as the door closed and carried me up the stairs.
Damn, I should have put on the sexy underwear instead of the comfortable ones that I wore to work, I thought. I had already cleared the bed and we fell into it making such hot love that we both were left panting for more. When we were spent, we started talking again.
“Are you still driving to Atlanta?” he asked. Apprehension knotted my stomach.
“Yeah, we leave on Thursday.” I didn’t know where this conversation was going so I started applying small kisses to his upper body. I didn’t want to talk about my imminent departure. I just wanted to get my fill of him. His dick responded by getting rock hard again.
“Can I drive you to Atlanta?” he asked quietly. I stiffened in his arms. He blindsided me since I didn’t expect to go back there with him. Too many plans had been made to back out now. Dennis already had his return ticket. I would not do that to him. I pushed away from David’s luscious chest so I could look him in the eye.
“I have already asked someone else to drive down with me. They are going to drive me down and fly back,” I said.
“That the same nigger you been hanging out with in the clubs and shit?” David said with a snarl.
“He is a friend of mine, plain and simple.”
David huffed and acted like he was getting ready to get upset but he deflated himself. “If he was more than a friend, I would only have myself to blame, right?” he admitted.
“Yeah. Hell, I would have never met him if you hadn’t dumped me!” I cried.
He pulled me back to him and rested my head on his shoulders.
“Can I visit you in Atlanta?” he whispered and my heart soared. I wanted to say, pack your bags and ride in my suitcase. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I would be living with my mother until I got myself established.
“Anytime you want once I get set up. I will be staying with my mother until I get up enough money to make my move, but housing is cheaper there so it won’t be long,” I said.
“Two more questions before we go to sleep. Do you love me? Do you love him?”
I could answer the first question without hesitation.
“Yes, I love you and I probably always will.” I did not immediately answer the second question so he nudged me.
“I love him, too, but it’s in a different way that I can easily describe. You excite my mind, body and soul. You make me feel young. I love looking at you and running my hands along your body like this,” I said as I trailed my fingers along his neck, down his legs to his groin. I wanted to change the subject but he pushed my hand away from his balls.
“And him? What is his name again?”
“Dennis. He made me feel attractive and viable after the dismal failure of my marriage and the failure of our short relationship. He came at a time when I needed him and he raised my self-esteem and made me laugh.”
“And?”
“It didn’t work, he wanted kids and I was through in that department, so we just agreed to be friends.” I really did not want to discuss yet another painful episode of my life that night. David sensed that and allowed the conversation to lapse. We held each other for most of the night or until our limbs grew numb. I didn’t ask him anything else about us and he didn’t offer.
Sherry threw a going-away cookout for us that Wednesday. Before the party, David and his three brothers helped Dennis load the truck that was parked in front of my house.
I invited Dennis to come to the cookout and he accepted. Luckily, Howard did not invite Keith. I had not seen Keith since we got b
ack from Atlanta. The last time I spoke with him, we fought about my taking the children out of state. David and Dennis greeted each other with handshakes and soft pats on the back. I was a little uncomfortable with the fact that David had to touch me every time he passed me, and I think it bothered Dennis, too, but he didn’t comment. He left after an hour but that could have been attributed to the fact that he didn’t know anyone at the party but the kids and me.
The whole neighborhood turned out and we partied until 2:00 a.m. We had steamed crabs, shrimp, crab cakes, ribs, hamburgers, steak and hot dogs. I was so nervous, I could not eat but that didn’t stop the other partygoers! There was a card game going at every table and the alcohol was flowing. Sherry got drunk and made a farewell speech to me. She started crying and some of the other people that I knew well also emptied their eyes. We all cried for the loss of my father and my mother’s grief. I left the party in an emotional state.
David asked if he could spend the night and I was so glad that he did. Ever since his visit on Monday, we had been spending every possible moment together with the exception of each of us working. We fell in bed after making love in every conceivable position known to man. At 6:00 a.m. the alarm rang and marked the end of our blissfulness. Dennis would be there at 7:00 so I got up and showered. I woke the kids to get them dressed as well. I waited until 6:30 to wake David up. He quickly took a shower and got dressed. We took apart my bed and stacked the mattresses against the wall. We also took apart the children’s beds. I could not look David in the face as I opened the door for Dennis. They loaded our love nest into the back of the truck with the rest of our belongings. I made a final walk-through of the house and was ready to leave.
I cried as I hugged David.
All That Drama Page 10