by Thorn, Ava
"Ms. Rue, can you please see if there's any more grilled chicken?"
"Austin, that's why there are waiters." Shane shook his head and grabbed the dish.
"No, Shane." Farrah took the dish from Shane and whispered something in his ear.
Austin kicked himself when he saw Farrah walk away from the table; he kicked himself even more when she didn't come out of the kitchen for the rest of the evening and left without telling him goodbye.
"I think it's fair to say that you are smitten with Farrah," Shane said after the dinner party was over.
Austin didn't want to hear it. All he wanted to do was sit in the saloon on the ranch and nurse his sorrows.
"Can it, Ranger," Hank chuckled as he sat across from Austin.
"I hope you let Rebecca down easy," Shane said as he poured bourbon into their glasses.
"How do I tell this woman who is planning this wedding that I'm in love with a woman who makes me feel awesome and takes me to places I've never been to physically and mentally?"
"You have it bad, boy," Hank laughed. "Honestly, if you ask me, I think Rebecca doesn't love Austin
McBride for who he is, she loves you for your millions and the houses you own."
"I'm not going to sit here and preach to you about who you should be with." Shane paused. "I'm pretty sure I heard enough while you guys were in the bathroom."
Hank slapped his leg and laughed out loud.
"Hell!" Austin said, trying not to laugh at his best friend and cousin.
"It's the truth." Shane shrugged.
"Did you see her on Snowflake?" Hank said with admiration. "That damn horse wouldn't let anyone near her after your momma died. You should have seen my face when I heard Farrah talking to and petting Snowflake."
"Even Snowflake knows Farrah is the one for you." Shane laughed.
"I don't know how I'm going to break the news to Rebecca that I'm in love with another woman. She makes me feel these things I never felt before. Farrah is meant to be with me." Austin stared into the distance thinking about Farrah.
"Have you seen her since you asked for more chicken?" Shane snickered.
"You what?" Hank asked.
Austin rolled his eyes. "Shane, you sat there whispering in her ear, and touching her. I had to get her away from you."
"Did you notice something today? When I used to flirt with Rebecca, you didn't care, but with Farrah you get jealous even if I look at her. I knew the day at the restaurant you cared about her. I only have one warning to you, cousin."
"What's that, Ranger Shane?" Austin asked.
"Don't hurt Farrah," said Hank and Shane together.
"She has this vulnerability about her that you just want to protect." Shane narrowed his eyes at Austin. "If you're going to hurt her, then do us a favor and leave Farrah alone."
"I can't leave her alone, and I wouldn't hurt her on purpose." Austin stood up. "I need to talk to her."
"You need to close one door before you open another one," Hank said as Austin walked away from the table.
Chapter Eight
Farrah sat on the sofa drinking a glass of wine and flipping through her mother's photo album. Touching the necklace around her neck, she thought of her mother. She remembered sitting in the hospital with her grandmother as the nurse came out of the room with her mother's possessions. Farrah saw firsthand how love could hurt. Rose Rue had loved Reggie Rue with all her heart, but it wasn't enough at the end of the day. He'd killed her mother and his wife and left Farrah questioning what love even was. Maybe that was why she stayed with Frederick so long and endured his verbal and physical abuse, until he beat her so bad that she was rushed to the hospital. Her momma visited her in a dream telling her to leave Frederick and Louisiana.
The day Farrah was discharged from the hospital, she vowed to never look back at the past. She promised herself never to dwell on it all. The past was what made you stronger. Closing the photo album, she thought about Austin and the love she had for him.
Taking another sip of wine, she closed her eyes. Farrah was afraid to follow her heart; shit, she was scared of the love she had for Austin. It was just a matter of time before love hurt her again.
Times like this she wished she had her mother to talk to. Her heart was heavy as she thought about Austin.
She couldn't ask him to make a decision regarding them; it was a decision that she would have to make for them. Farrah decided she would learn how to let go of him even though it hurt so badly.
A knock on the door startled her. Getting up, she placed the photo album in the cabinet and checked her appearance before opening the door. "What, McBride? Did you get the chicken?"
"I said something tonight that I want to apologize for." Austin looked at Farrah closely; her eyes were red from crying. "Is there something wrong?"
"Austin, we can't do this anymore," she said softly.
"I need you in my life." He stepped inside her house and closed the door. "I can't lose you."
"Austin, this is not fair. I can't continue to do this to Rebecca, and she loves you." She stepped away from him. Leaning against the wall, she folded her arms and looked at him.
"Farrah, please don't do this." He pulled her to him and hugged her tight. "I am going to remind you that I love you. I'm going to do whatever it takes to show you that I love you."
"You are making this hard for me," she cried in his arms.
"I'm never going to lose you," he whispered as he stroked her back. "I have a concert in New York, and I want you to come."
Farrah moved out of Austin's comforting arms. "No."
"Farrah." He picked up his phone. "I will call Rebecca right now and tell her that I'm in love with you."
Farrah reached for Austin's cell phone, but he held it above his head so she couldn't get it. "Austin, this is a dangerous game we're playing." She paused and looked at him. "I will attend the concert, but I will stay at a different hotel."
"I will arrange for your stay myself," he said, lifting her in his arms. "When we get back from New York, I will tell Rebecca."
Austin kissed away any and every worry that plagued Farrah for the moment. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom where they made love through the night.
***
Madison Square Garden was packed with eager fans who sang along with Austin's popular song "Far Away." Farrah was a big fan of country music; she liked watching Austin sing and do something he enjoyed. Standing in the VIP section, she swayed her hips and nodded her head to the beat of his song.
"Thank y'all for coming to see me," Austin said, and for a split second, his eyes landed on her. Farrah smiled at him.
She watched in excitement as he poured his heart into everything on stage for forty-five minutes. Austin's performance had a lot of energy as his deep, twangy vocals echoed throughout the arena.
When Austin's set was finished, two of the biggest guys she'd ever laid eyes upon told her to follow them.
She followed them into a busy hallway where people were running around and talking on walkie-talkies. They stopped in front of a door that read 'Austin McBride.'
Walking into the room, she smiled when she came face-to-face with Austin. He wore blue jeans, a white undershirt, and cowboy boots along with his cowboy hat.
"Hi," she said breathlessly.
"Hi, love."
Austin's southern accent made her tingle everywhere. "Great show." She smiled as he came closer to her.
"I'm happy you enjoyed it." He kissed her. "I'll be done in a few minutes, but I wanted to see you."
Farrah held Austin's sweaty hand. "I'm going to the hotel." The last thing she wanted was for someone to walk in on them. She knew that everyone in his crew knew Austin was getting married to Rebecca.
"I don't want you venturing out in New York by yourself," he said, his face masked in concern.
"Austin, I can handle myself." She dangled the pepper spray keychain in front of him. "Plus, I took a cab here."
"I had a limo
waiting for you," he said.
"I didn't know." She kissed his lips.
"Wait a second." He reached into his pocket, taking out his cell phone to dial a number. "This is Austin McBride. I hired a driver for the evening. Can you please have someone here within ten minutes?"
Farrah made herself a fruit salad and plopped down on the sofa. "I have ten minutes. What am I going to do?" She giggled as Austin took the plate of fruit away from her.
"I have a few ideas." He grinned.
"Stop, Austin. This is neither the time nor the place to do that," she said, reclaiming her plate of fruit.
"Wait up for me," he said as he pulled her to him and kissed her on the lips.
"Okay." She handed him the plate. "Eat. You're going to need your energy for tonight."
Austin hooted with laugher as he watched Farrah walk out of the dressing room.
"Darrell!" he called out.
"Yes, boss."
"Make sure Ms. Rue gets to the limo and to the hotel safely," Austin said as he bit into the strawberry Farrah had been eating.
***
"Let's go out and enjoy NYC." Farrah jumped on the bed next to a sleeping Austin. A lot of time had passed since they woke up; it was already two in the afternoon.
"Baby, close your eyes." Austin pulled Farrah on top of him. "Stay here and sleep next to me."
"So, no sightseeing?" She ruffled his dirty blond hair. "I was thinking we could do the incognito thing."
Austin peeked at Farrah. "What do you have in mind?"
"A horse carriage ride, Statue of Liberty, and dinner. Plus, you can leave the cowboy boots, hat, and jeans here. We will be two regular tourists." Farrah ran to the closet where she pulled out three shopping bags filled with clothes. "So you will be wearing khakis, a polo shirt, and a hat."
"I only wear Dallas Cowboys hats." He eyed the bag and smirked.
Farrah smiled. "I know."
She tossed him a cap and even put on her own Dallas Cowboys hat. "Sexy," he said.
"Let's go out!" she said, jumping on top of him.
***
After ten minutes, they walked hand in hand down Times Square. Austin enjoyed New York through Farrah's eyes. They stopped at different stores, buying trinkets. Austin took Farrah everywhere, including the Statue of Liberty and Central Park. Farrah was fascinated as they walked down 5th Avenue, and Austin smiled as he pulled Farrah into FAO Schwarz.
For twenty minutes, Farrah and Austin created music on the big piano at FAO Schwarz. She purchased candy from the store as Austin bought her a big pink stuffed animal.
"Here." She handed him the stuffed animal she had purchased for him, a small English Bulldog.
Austin looked at the small animal and back at Farrah. "This is very sweet of you."
"You told me about your English Bulldog Patches that died last year. I saw it and had to get it for you."
Austin pulled her close to him as they walked down the street. "I will always remember this day with you."
Neither one of them noticed the man taking pictures of them.
After being back at the hotel for an hour, Austin saw a mischievous smile on Farrah's beautiful face. "So I made plans for us," she said.
"What type of plans?" he asked.
"I thought we could enjoy NYC in the evening time," she said, sitting down next to him.
"I thought we were going to dinner," he said.
"We are," she said, checking her watch. "But we don't have to dress up."
Farrah got up and ran into the bathroom. When she returned, she was wearing a short yellow sundress.
Austin had picked up his guitar. He stopped mid-strum when he saw her.
"I think we should just stay in," he said, waggling his eyebrows.
"Or you can get dressed and come with me." She kissed him slowly. "This is our last day in New York, and I promise tonight you will have fun and excitement but also pleasure in the end."
"Hell yeah." He put his guitar down. "Let me get dressed, sugar," he said as he rushed to change his clothes. Farrah sat on the sofa laughing at him.
Thirty minutes later, they sat on a blanket in Bryant Park at dusk. Austin was surprised that Farrah had thought of everything, including a picnic basket that contained some tasty-looking dishes. Austin had been to New York numerous times for business and pleasure, but not once had he ever done a movie in Manhattan.
"I like this," he said. He looked around his surroundings, making sure that no one recognized him.
"Austin," Farrah whispered. "No one even has a clue who you are." She smiled as she took the containers from the basket.
"Now what do we have here?" he said, eyeing the food. "Who made all this?"
"I went to culinary school here. I have a friend who has a restaurant in Harlem." She opened a container of fried chicken and held it under his nose. "He did me a favor and prepared this meal for us."
"I might have to thank your friend." Austin leaned forward and kissed Farrah.
Farrah touched a finger to her lip and looked at him. "We have macaroni salad, potato salad, deviled eggs, and most importantly, that 7up cake that you love."
"Marry me," he said, looking at her.
He watched the smile on Farrah's face vanish. "What?" she said, looking at him like he'd lost his mind.
"Marry me and be my wife," he repeated. "I love you."
"You're engaged to another woman," she said in a low voice.
"Let me be blunt when I tell you this—I'm deeply in love with you. I was captivated by your essence the day I met you."
"Can we just enjoy the movie and the food?" she pleaded.
"Okay."
He would drop the conversation for now, but they would have this talk. He watched as Farrah spread their dinner out on the blanket.
Austin could see that Farrah wasn't going to give him the chance to be the man she needed in her life, but nothing could make him leave her. Sometimes he wanted to shake her and tell her that he wasn't him—he wasn't the man who had caused her pain. She looked him in the eye, and he needed for her to believe that all she needed was him and that they should be together.
Farrah fixed their plates and sat next to him at as the opening credits rolled. "Are you comfortable?" she asked.
"Yes," he said as he continued watching the large screen. "E.T.?"
"A classic movie that I haven't seen in ages," she said.
"I love you," he said. "Do you love me?"
"Yes," she said softly. "Watch the movie."
Austin sat next to Farrah and thought about Rebecca. He knew that she wouldn't take it well that he was leaving her. He needed to confess his true feelings to her. He would tell her that he was sorry, but was he really? Farrah was that better half that his father always told him about.
"Boy, when you find that special woman who completes you, don't let her go." His father looked across the room and watched his mother in the kitchen. "When I met your mother, I knew she was the one the first time I ever laid eyes on her."
Farrah was the one for him. Every day he spent with her made it clearer.
***
"I think you missed a spot." Austin stepped into the hot shower behind Farrah.
"I thought you were leaving to go to your own hotel room." She shuddered as he kissed her shoulder.
"I decided that I can't leave you alone."
"Really." She smirked. "I thought you wanted me for my cooking, but now I see you want me for something else."
"Actually," he said between kisses, "I love Farrah and want her body, mind, and soul."
"I don't think I can give them," she said, stepping away from him.
"I don't understand you," he said, getting annoyed with her. "I love you and you love me."
"That doesn't make it cut and dry." She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. "If you love me, Austin, why are we here and still sneaking around? We had sex three weeks ago and you've been professing your love for me ever since."
"You're
asking me about my sincerity towards you?" he asked, turning off the water. "I've just been waiting for a good time to tell Rebecca the wedding is off, that's all."
"Are you sure about that?" she asked.
"What are you implying?" he shouted. He didn't give her time to respond. "You're implying that I want to have my cake and eat it too, right?"
"Yes!" she shouted back at him and walked out of the bathroom.
"Not so fast." He grabbed her arm. "You're my inspiration and my heart. When I think of Farrah Rue, all I want to do is write these damn love songs because you are the melody."
"I can't be with you," she said without batting an eye. "Even if you break up with her, I cannot be with you, and I won't."
"You're lying," he said. Austin wasn't hearing her. "Tell me when you look at me that you don't see us together. Tell me I don't make you happy." He reached up and wiped away her tears. For the first time ever, she flinched when he touched her.
"I won't lie and say that you don't make me happy," she said, touching the side of his face.
"I'm not him, Farrah, and I could never hurt you the way he hurt you," he said softly. He pulled her to him and hugged her so tightly that he could feel her heartbeat. "Please, baby, tear down those barriers and allow me in."
"I'm scared, Austin, that this is all a dream!" she cried. "I'm scared that I'm going to be hurt all over
again—if not physically, then emotionally."
"I love you, baby," he said, bending down to look into her eyes. "I could never hurt you."
"I love you too," she said before kissing him.
"I'm going to end it with Rebecca when I get back to Texas," he said as he stroked her back up and down.
"Austin, did you hear me?" Rebecca waved the dish in front of him. "We picked out this dish design for the wedding reception, but I told my mother I wanted your opinion."
"Sorry, Becca, my mind was on something else," he said as he continued to stare off into space.