by Thorn, Ava
"Your mother was my first and only love. You only get one soul mate, Farrah, and your mother was it for me. I met your mother when I came to Louisiana with my father twenty-eight years ago when he was building a hotel. I fell in love with Rose the moment I laid eyes on her. I intended to marry her; I took her home with me to meet my family. Didn't go quite well; the next thing I knew, Rose was leaving Canada. When I ran after her, I found her and Reggie Rue in a compromising position." Claude looked Farrah directly in the eye. "I would have followed your mother around the world and back."
Farrah dropped her gaze. "Why did she lie?"
"My mother didn't think your mother was right for me."
"I remember seeing you at her funeral," Farrah said. "You were sitting in the back of the church."
Claude nodded. "When I found out Rose was killed, I lost it. I saw you at the funeral, crying. I wanted to hold you and tell you that you weren't alone."
"Why didn't you come for me?" Farrah twisted the napkin around her finger tightly.
"Mona." He chuckled. "She didn't want you to know until the time was right. But I promise you, Farrah, I wanted you."
"You should have told me." Farrah shook her head. "Do you know she told me she didn't want anything to do with me? Do you know she thinks my mother's death was her own fault? She blames the victim and not the murderer."
"Don't cry." Claude took hold of Farrah's hand. "I'm not perfect, Farrah. I wish I had told you sooner that I was your father, but you'd just lost your mother and the man who raised you. I couldn't add more salt to your wounds. I could only stand back and wait for you; until then, I helped with monetary expenses."
Farrah took a sip of cold water. She thought back to when her graduation items were paid for in full, even her senior trip.
"You paid for culinary school," Farrah said.
She remembered crying for a few days when she got accepted to the school but didn't have the funds to pay for it. Two days later, she received a call stating that her expenses, from tuition to room and board, were paid in full.
"Yes, you are my daughter, and you deserve the best."
Claude talked to Farrah at length about her mother in his French accent. Her father was a handsome gentleman with kind eyes the same color as hers. The anger that Farrah had in her heart began slipping away. She still had hurt and longing in her heart for her mother, but Claude reminded her of better days, when her mother was happy. She was surprised and overjoyed to learn that she had a grandmother, a grandfather, aunts and uncles, not to mention cousins.
Farrah found herself laughing at the stories Claude told of her mother.
"Rose raised you well, Farrah. You're independent, educated and self-confident. You're able to stand on your own two feet. Did you know Rose wanted to open a restaurant? I wasn't surprised when I found out you opened one of your own."
Farrah forced a smile. "She used to talk about it all the time. I guess I figured I'd follow in her footsteps with food."
"Yes, bien-aimé."
So many feelings rushed through her. Standing up, she thanked him for spending time with her.
"Farrah, I would love to be a father to you, but only when you're ready. I don't want to push you." Claude scribbled down phone numbers on a piece of paper. "You can contact me, day or night."
Farrah kissed his cheek, but not before he said something that caused her to think about Austin.
"Life is precious, Farrah. Don't make the mistakes me and your mother made. I loved your mother and will always love her. Every day I live with regret." He paused and looked at her. "I wish I had done more to convince Rose that our love could prevail. I know your personal life has been a little too public lately, but I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."
Farrah leaned down and kissed Claude goodbye before she ventured down the street towards her hotel.
A part of Farrah had missed New Orleans and its rich history. She made her way to Jackson Square. Her mother used to always bring her to the French Quarter on Saturdays when she had to work the early shift at the café. Walking the beautiful garden inside the square, she stood in front of the magnificent fountain. Her mother used to always tell her to make a wish before tossing a coin into the fountain.
"Did you make a wish yet, dearie?" an old Cajun voice asked.
Farrah looked over at the old black woman, her dark brown eyes looking tired but held so much wisdom. Her salt and pepper hair fell over her shoulders. The woman wore a long black skirt and a shirt. Her arms were covered with beaded jewelry.
"Not yet." She smiled.
"Whatcha waiting on, child?" the woman asked.
"I want to make a good wish." Farrah turned and smiled at the woman. "It's not like my wish is going to come true anyway."
"Is that what you say?" she asked.
"I remember as a child coming here wishing for things, and they didn't come true." Farrah said.
"Wish from the heart, and not for money. Not for things." The old woman smiled.
Farrah opened her mouth, but the woman touched her hand to stop her. "Don't say it aloud, child. Didn't anyone ever tell you it must be a silent wish?"
Farrah smiled and nodded. I wish for a healthy child and Austin. Farrah kissed the penny before tossing it into the fountain.
"Now, see, my child, was that so hard?" The woman patted Farrah's hand.
The lady made Farrah uneasy. She knew that the Quarter was filled with fortune tellers, artists, and musicians. That was another reason Farrah loved New Orleans—it was so steeped in culture.
"Have you ever been confused?" The woman didn't wait for Farrah to reply. "Your child's father is an alpha male, but he also prides himself on being a good man. He wants to make his good ol' dad and mom proud of him and of the decision he made."
Farrah nodded her head. She knew from the way Austin spoke about his mother and father that he was striving to make them proud. She wanted to make her mother proud of her, too. She wanted her mother to know that all her hard work raising her hadn't been for nothing.
"There were a few bumps in the road, but I can tell you, Miss Missy, that you have a helluva man. He never stopped loving you and will never stop. Your fate with him lies in your hands," she said.
"How do you know so much?" Farrah asked.
"I was born with a third eye, a gift from my mother and her mother," the woman said before walking gingerly toward the voodoo temple across the street.
Farrah stood there in shock. She knew the woman wasn't done talking. Sighing, she followed her into a small shop. Pictures and African paintings and figurines filled the small space. The smell of incense made Farrah queasy.
"Sit," the woman said and nodded to a chair.
"Thanks." Farrah accepted a bottle of water the woman offered her.
"I'm Elspeth."
Elspeth sat behind a table and took hold of Farrah's hand. "You're still grieving your mother's death." Farrah was taken aback by the revelation.
"Don't shake your head no, and don't say no, child. Rose will always be with you, and she's happy that you found your father. She hopes that you will open your heart again and be free." Elspeth sat back and watched Farrah carefully.
"It's hard. How do you expect a woman who witnessed the death of her mother and father to ever be free? I don't have a clear view on what love is supposed to be like. I don't even know if I'm going to be a good mother or wife to anyone."
"Dearie, love is not an illusion. Your mother said she was happy when Austin came into your life. Rose wants you to know that God brings people together. He had a hand in bringing you and Austin McBride together." Elspeth took Farrah's hand in hers.
"My mother and my—Reggie—they didn't love one another. God, they didn't even hug or tell each other 'I love you.' When I talked to my real dad, I learned that my mother's relationship with Reggie Rue had nothing to do with love."
"Farrah," Elspeth said. "Rose says you're capable of love. She is sorry you didn't witness it much growi
ng up, but you found it now. Will you let your fear of being loved and being in love scare you away from the man you love?"
"I didn't tell him to stay." Farrah stood up and paced the small store room. "I never fought for him, even when he calls and texts me every day."
"Love is a blessing."
Farrah paused mid-step, and, turning slowly, looked at the wise old woman. "What did you say?"
"Love is a blessing."
"Oh, God."
Farrah sank back down in the chair. She'd had her doubts about Elspeth, believing the woman was possibly lying somehow about talking to her mother, creating the illusion to scam her, but her mother had told her those exact words a few months before being killed. "I miss her so much. There's so much that I didn't get to say to her or share with her."
"Honey child, your mother didn't miss a thing. Every time you thought you were going through a difficult situation by yourself, she was there for you. Your mother said she was there for you when Frederick did you wrong."
"Yeah, she was," Farrah said as she vividly recalled the dream in which her mother visited her when she was unconscious.
"Baby, your mother's body is not on this earth, but she is all around you in spirit. Now, chin up." Elspeth smiled and caressed Farrah's cheek. "You asked me how do you know what love is."
"Yes."
"Look into your heart, Farrah; there is love in your heart that you invited in. You can choose right now to surrender to it."
Farrah took a deep breath and exhaled. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a few bills and placed them on the table. "Thank you."
"Child, please. You have people beyond here rooting for you and this man. My grandmother said that true love only comes around once. Now, child, don't you sit here and horse around because of the past. The past is what makes you stronger, not weaker, baby girl."
She dismissed Farrah with a wave of her hand.
Farrah leaned forward and kissed the older woman on her cheek.
"Come back and visit me anytime, for free," Elspeth called out as Farrah left the small store.
"I will." Farrah waved goodbye.
Chapter Fourteen
"Austin, did you hear me?" Andrew spoke louder to catch Austin's attention.
"Honestly, I think the interview with the magazine went great if that's what you're trying to ask." Austin knew that the best way for the public and his fans to get over what most people would call a cheating scandal was to address the situation head-on instead of sweeping it under the rug.
"Did you have to tell that reporter that you're going to marry Farrah Rue?"
"I'm an honest guy, Andrew. What did you want me to do, lie?" Austin paused. "I'm giving Farrah her space. We talked once since this ordeal."
"I felt compelled to tell my side of the story. I take full responsibility for my actions."
"Andrew, you don't have to read what I said in the interview; I know exactly what I said."
"Did you have to tell them that you didn't regret falling in love with Farrah?"
Austin couldn't help but laugh. "If you look three sentences below that, you will see that I said that Farrah is my soul mate and it's hard for me to picture my life without her."
Andrew paced the dressing room as Austin prepared to take the stage.
"I think the interview was brilliant," Vanessa, the makeup artist, said.
"Thanks, sugar."
"Vanessa, you're not helping the situation."
"Come on, the man told the world he found his soul mate. He admitted that he made the mistake of pursuing a relationship with Farrah before he ended the relationship with Rebecca. But he is thankful that Farrah came into his life before he made the mistake of marrying the wrong woman and being unhappy for the rest of his life."
"What about your female fan base? They're not going to like the fact that you cheated on your fiancée, who is portraying herself a heartbroken woman," Andrew said.
"I don't care anymore. They can love me or hate me."
Austin got up from the makeup chair, grabbed his cowboy hat and his guitar, and walked out of the dressing room with an annoyed Andrew behind him. He was done trying to make people like him; he was going to spend his life with the woman he loved and their child. Nobody was going to write his life story for him and dictate what they thought was right. When he did the interview with the magazine reporter, he expressed his love for Farrah, but he also told them he respected Rebecca and hoped that she found her soul mate. As far as apologies to his fans, that would just have to do.
And tonight would be a special night in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome.
Austin stepped onstage and immediately connected with the jam-packed crowd. They cheered as he sang songs from his first album. Forty-five minutes in, the lighting behind him grew softer, and the large video backdrop above displayed an image of a romantic farm trail in autumn.
"Now I hope y'all like this song," he spoke softly into the microphone. "It's dedicated to the woman I love."
"Girl, I need to hear your voice
"I need you in my life
"Do you know you're my light in my life?
"I feel so empty without you
"I can't go down this journey without you
"This can't be us
"I got the bottle of Jack to nurse away the pain."
Austin peered into the crowd and saw the audience lift up their cell phones and sway from side to side as he belted out the new song. He hadn't been sure how it would go over with the crowd—it was a crossover between country and R&B—but when he strummed the last chord, the amphitheater erupted in applause.
***
Farrah lay in bed thinking about the past couple of days. For some odd reason, she felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. Her father had given her the answer that she always been seeking deep down in her heart.
Farrah knew there were two sides to a story. Her mother's side would always be silent. She remembered watching Claude's body language as he spoke about her mother. Farrah could tell that Claude was still in love with her.
Claude DeCuir married only once, a marriage that ended in divorce after two years, and he never had any children besides Farrah. Farrah knew she didn't want to be like her father and mother, two people who were in love with each other but allowed society to keep them apart. If she stayed away from Austin because she listened to other people and their judgment, then she would be destined to years of heartache just like her parents.
Picking up her cellphone, she dialed Austin's; it immediately went to voicemail. Her hand went to the necklace that held the charm but also a key to a ranch in Tennessee. The key was given to her as a new start.
Farrah had a choice to make. Could she choose love and happiness with Austin at the ranch in Tennessee?
***
Southern Hearts Ranch was unbelievably breathtaking. The hundred-and-fifty-acre farm consisted of four residences. Trees lined the gravel road to the main house. Farrah could barely contain her excitement as she approached the magnificent estate. She could see Snowflake grazing in the pastures. Austin had thought of everything regarding the property, which was fenced and gated with an automatic security system. The gates opened as Farrah came closer. She stood beside her rental car and gawked at the large three-story Antebellum- style mansion with its high windows and tall, white columns. The house emitted a charming historic ambience.
Farrah was in the midst of taking her luggage out of the car when she heard someone walking up behind her. Turning around, she came face-to-face with a heavy Spanish woman wearing business attire, a black button blazer and black slacks.
"Hello," Farrah said.
"Hi, Farrah. We have been told to expect you. I'm Regina, the house manager."
"It's nice to meet you," she said.
"Señor McBride talked about you. He wanted to make sure everything was in order for your arrival. He didn't know when you would show up, but every day, he made sure everything was running smoothly on the ranch."
"Let me show you around the ranch. A woman in your condition shouldn't be handling such heavy luggage. I will send a ranch hand to get it."
"Thanks."
Farrah followed Regina around the sprawling green pastures for miles on a golf cart; she was in awe of the hills tumbling into lakes and the lush forestry. The green pastures seemed to go on forever on the giant country estate.
Farrah was amazed at how peaceful and superb country living was. The ranch was equipped with a salt water pool, a hot tub, and a fourteen-stall barn that housed Snowflake and two other horses. There was even an indoor riding arena. Each corner of the estate had a large pond stocked with fish. Rustic, dusty roads crisscrossed and looped the extensive ranch. Open fields, fenced livestock pastures, the rolling hills and meadow—they all seemed like they went on forever.
The main house was what she would describe as a southern brick mansion. She instantly fell in love with the high ceilings and the stunning hardwood floors. Giant floor-to-ceiling windows provided an epic view of the meadows outside. The rooms were all painted in elegant, natural shades. She admired them as she padded across the dark and shiny wood floors.
A black and white photo of her riding Snowflake made her stop dead in her tracks.
"Mr. McBride brought your items from storage and had them placed upstairs in the loft area. He said he wanted you to feel at home."
Farrah could barely speak. She nodded her head as she continued to survey the house. The décor was rustic but chic. Her favorite place in the house was probably the kitchen. It was so huge that Farrah felt like it was bigger than her whole apartment. Industrial pot racks holding iron pans hung from the ceiling. Moving her hand across the side-by-side stainless steel ranges, she turned her attention to the Sub-Zero refrigerator, which she found was fully stocked.
"Do you stay here on the ranch?" Farrah asked Regina.
She was kind of feeling a little nervous about staying in a house with seventeen rooms, seven-and-a-half bathrooms, and even a nanny's corner with its own separate entrance and kitchen.