I was running out of time: her glow began to diminish. “Do I have any special powers I can use to find Drake?”
“Yes. You have your love for him. Love is the most powerful magic in the universe. Listen to your heart: it will lead you to him. Trust in yourself and believe in the love in your heart.”
Her spirit faded away completely. There had been a pressure on my chest that I didn’t know I’d been carrying. I felt her spirit leave, and she took with her the pain I’d carried with me all these months. I had been holding her here. I was so scared of really losing her that I couldn’t let her rest. I took a deep breath, held it in, and then slowly let it release.
I didn’t want to be alone, but as my mother’s spirit crossed over to the pasture, I no longer feared the loneliness. I could leave the Centaur world behind just as she had. I wouldn’t need magic to hide me – I could just leave. I would always have my family if I needed them, even if I chose to live as a human rather than as a Centauride.
Mom’s final gift to me was the knowledge that I would only be alone if I chose it. I stood at the end of that gravel driveway for a long time, not in terms of minutes or hours, but a long time, finally saying my good-bye.
When my numbed mind returned to reality, the crisp air against my face, the chill of the wind, and the deafening silence reminded me of why I was here. Drake. Dusk was over, and the moon was rising. I should have returned to town, but something prevented me from leaving. The temperature had dropped, and the snow crunched under my feet as I made my way up to the abandoned farmhouse in front of me.
I climbed the step to the rickety old porch, silently praying the wood was strong enough to support another step without buckling under my weight. It didn’t appear that there was any electricity to the dilapidated house. I pressed the chime on the door, knowing that no noise would sound inside. Even if it did make a sound, I could feel that there were no living souls to hear it.
Refusing to accept what I already knew, I raised my fist and pounded hard on the door. Nothing. I was so sure Drake would be here. Gingerly, I stepped off the porch, trying to put my weight only on the boards that looked like they could support me.
As I looked in the backyard, tall grass stood wildly, covered under the blanket of snow. I could feel something about this place. This was where I was supposed to be. I felt eyes watching me. Both my hands rested on a fence post. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander, looking for the one watching me.
I felt the charge of unexpected electricity jolt me. Drake was here. I’d found him. I could hear my own heartbeat against the silent backdrop. I closed my eyes and began walking, letting his heartbeat serve as a beacon for me to find him. I thought of the day at our hotel before I had been kidnapped: the unfettered desire I felt for him and his willingness to finally quench my thirst. I let those images free in my thoughts, willing him to see them in my mind, too.
He didn’t come closer. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel he was just behind the abandoned barn. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t come to me. Couldn’t he feel my approach? I walked slowly, trying to detect any traps that may have been set by whoever was holding him. I stepped behind the barn. A thick grove of trees all but blocked out light from piercing through the branches. Darkness had fallen. Drake stood in front of me; even twenty feet away in the near pitch black, pain shone clear through his eyes.
He was standing a few yards just inside the tree line. My voice shook, “Drake, it’s me.” He couldn’t make eye contact, or at least he wouldn’t make eye contact, and he didn’t answer. “Drake, I was worried,” my voice cracked, “I thought Zandra had gotten you. I thought I had lost you.”
When his eyes finally met mine, a sorrow so powerful emanated from him, it nearly brought me to my knees. I took him in: he stood before me in the freezing temperatures with no coat or shirt, bare-chested in the moonlight. I froze. What had happened? Someone had kidnapped him and left him outside to freeze? I unzipped my parka and pulled it off to hand to him. Drake shook his head; my mind wasn’t processing what was happening. I took another step in his direction, still holding the parka out for him. He shook his head a second time, his voice quiet, “I don’t need it.”
“Of course you need it! You’re going to freeze to death!”
Drake didn’t argue with me. Instead his eyes looked off behind me, over my shoulder. His voice sounded hollow, the only sound for miles in an ocean of silence, “There’s nothing I wouldn’t have given you.”
The tears I held back clouded my vision, “Where have you been? I’ve looked everywhere.”
“I had. . . I had to go away.”
Something wasn’t right. He couldn’t have been held captive. He wasn’t warning me to be careful; I didn’t sense any danger at all. “Where’s the arrow?”
“It’s safe.”
Forcing Zandra’s voice not to echo in my mind, I asked, “Where’s it at?”
“Never mind the arrow. You’re safe from Zandra so long as you keep Zethus’s locket with you.” He tossed the hideous bug locket the few feet to me. I caught it while he warned, “Stay away from her.”
“Did she do something to you?”
I took another step toward Drake. He held his hand out as if he were a traffic cop. “No! Don’t come any closer.”
I was confused by his reaction to me. It had been over a week since I had seen him. Why didn’t he come to me? Why didn’t he pull me to him and tell me he loved me? Did he blame me for Phineas’s attack? Was he hurt? I could only choke out, “What’s wrong?”
I took another step forward, ignoring his hand. His words were harsh, “Camille – STOP!”
He stood, his chest bare, the moonlight illuminating every ripple across his chest. He stood behind a thick evergreen bush and made no movement in my direction. I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t wearing a coat, a hoodie or at least a t-shirt. Seeing him standing as he was, I wondered if I were hallucinating.
I didn’t care how much he protested; I wouldn’t let him freeze to death. Still holding the parka, I closed the last few feet between us, stepped around the evergreen bush, and reached up to wrap it around him. When he tried to shrug the jacket away, I slid it over his shoulders and held it firmly around him. To make sure he didn’t pull it off, I left my arms strung around his neck anchoring it to him.
I don’t know how long I stood there, my hands involuntarily began rubbing his shoulders through the jacket. Drake closed his eyes as his arms glided gently to my waist. We stood there stiffly without words until he leaned over and rested his chin on my head. Drake looked exhausted, and he finally said, “You need the jacket more than I do.”
His skin was warm, more than warm – it was hot. It felt like he had a fever. “Why are you out here without a coat?”
Instead of answering me, his arms that had been stiffly resting on my waist suddenly pulled me tight against him. I felt his breath against my neck as he spoke directly into my ear, “I didn’t want you to see me.”
I started to feel dizzy and knew if he hadn’t have been holding onto me so tightly, my legs would have folded under me. My worst fear was actually happening. All his tender words, his promise of eternity, it was just gone. It was just like Ronnie all over again, but this time so much worse.
I wouldn’t let him know what his words had just done to me. I’d always used humor as a defense – and sarcasm was far better than letting him know he’d just shattered me. “Running scared, huh? Second thoughts on that whole ‘choose me’ thing?” I’d hoped I’d masked the hurt in my voice.
He’d changed his mind. He didn’t want me anymore. Daniel had told me the truth. I bit back the tears of rejection skimming the surface, not wanting for it to be true and not willing for him to see me cry.
Once I was sure I could keep tears from escaping, I opened my eyes and saw him looking back at me. The sorrow I’d seen in them just minutes before had morphed into pain. I had to let him go, but my arms refused to release him. My body revolted: my arms c
inched tighter around his neck, and my face buried itself in his chest as his arms pulled me from the ground.
When I’d buried my face in his chest before, I was on my tippy toes, but today, no part of my feet even touched the ground. Had Drake grown taller? I went to look toward the ground to see if he was standing on a rock. As I looked down, his hand grabbed my face, forcing me to stare into his eyes.
His voice echoed the pain I’d just seen in his eyes. “Forget me, Camille.”
None of this made sense. Why would he pull me into him then tell me to forget him? I could feel it; he was going to dump me; maybe in his mind, he already had. I felt like an addict trying to get a fix, drinking up his scent, absorbing the feel of his arm around me while his hand held my face taut. A single tear dripped down my cheek. Drake’s eyes clouded, and he kissed the tear away before it could roll off my chin.
Until now I was sure someone or something had stolen him, had held him against his will – had kept him from me. That was the wrong conclusion. Drake had run away and hidden from me. Zandra told me as much and so had Daniel; I hadn’t believed either of them. Whatever his reason, I didn’t care. “Drake, whatever I did. . . I’m sorry.”
Drake let go of my face and wrapped both arms around my waist, pulling me up so my chin rested on his shoulder. I had to convince him that whatever he was upset about, we could fix it. When I opened my eyes, the image didn’t make any sense. I jerked away from him, on instinct, which surprised him enough that he let me drop to the ground.
I smoothed the bushes away from him and saw his legs. I was speechless, or dumbfounded. This had to be a dream. . . or a nightmare. Drake’s gaze never wavered. He simply said, “Just forget me, Camille. Just go.” Drake started to back away from me. I heard his heavy steps on the earth and felt my heart breaking.
Still in shock, I could only ask, “Wait! How did this happen?”
He shook his head, still holding my gaze, “The arrow did it.”
No lesson I had learned from Zandra or Gretchen had prepared me for this. I said it out loud more for my benefit than for his, “The arrow? It turned you into a Centaur?”
“I’ve always been a Centaur, Camille. At least, I’ve always had Centaur blood. But touching the arrow that didn’t belong to me. . . it had to have had some sort of a curse on it.” Zandra’s warning echoed in my mind: Zeus’s curse is unforgiving of thieves, and he has stolen Chiron property.
“Did you try giving it back?”
“Back to whom?”
“To Cameron.”
“He’s gone. I’ve been outside his home for days, but he hasn’t returned.”
“Give it to me. I’m a Chiron.”
“No!”
Zandra’s words of doubt began playing in my head. Why did he refuse to return the arrow? “Drake, it could break the curse. You could go back to normal.”
He shook his head, pulled my jacket off his bare shoulders and helped me into it. “I’m not taking a chance like that with you. You’re not touching it.”
“You can’t stay like this. We have to do something with it to lift the curse.”
Drake’s voice was defeated when he put his head down and said flatly, “Go home, Camille.”
“Home is wherever you are, Drake. I’m not going anywhere.” My eyes took him in. Once I’d gotten over the initial shock of his transformation, I realized he was magnificent. From the waist up, Drake looked the same as he had, but at his waist, his body morphed into the body of a brown horse. He stood taller than he had, by at least six inches.
“Cami, just go. I’m going to try to contact your uncle Jeb.”
A normal person might have run away, or maybe screamed, or I don’t know. . .maybe curled up in a ball on the ground rocking themselves. I didn’t do any of those. I stepped closer, my palms extended, placing them on either side of his face. His skin was smooth, not even a hint of stubble greeted my palms. I slid them down his shoulders; Drake’s whole body was warm, even in the frigid temperature. My hands came together at his chest, his eyes fixed on me the whole time. As my touch slid down his ribs and onto his abdomen, a euphoric feeling took me. It was still Drake.
He stood in front of me, the island oasis I had escaped to when I was captive at Zandra’s house. The man who had haunted all of my daydreams since our escape was right in front of me.
I was curious and let my hand trail down his waist onto the velvety hair of his new body. His right hoof stamped involuntarily when my hand traced his leg. His voice was soft, full of emotion when I heard him say, “Just go.” I didn’t listen to him. I stepped to his side and let both my hands feel the haunches that held his body.
He side-stepped and turned so that he was facing me again. There were so many things going through my mind, but only three words escaped my lips, “I’ve missed you.”
“You’ve missed me? Can’t you see what I am? I’m in front of you, Cami. I’m not a human.”
The emotion of finding him was overwhelming. I murmured, “I don’t care.”
“Are you blind?”
I could feel my head nod, “I love you, Drake. I don’t care.”
“I’m a freak, Cami! Open your eyes!”
“They are open.” I shook my head and closed the distance to him again. When I did this before, when he was a human, I could bury my face into his chest: I loved that feeling. Drake was much taller now, and my face was just over his abdomen. He tried to back away from me, but I refused to let him go. I wrapped both my arms around him and held on. When I did, he hesitated for a few seconds then leaned down and wrapped his arms around me, as well. I don’t know how long we stood there. The temperature was dropping fast, and I began to shiver even with his arms wrapped around me.
His voice was softer, “You should go. You’re freezing.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He stood erect, towering over me again, his ice blue eyes staring down into mine, with sadness like before, but intensified. “Cami, you. . .” I put my finger to his lips to stop his protest. He gently took my hand in his, kissed the back of my hand, and said, “If you won’t leave, let’s at least get you out of the wind.”
Drake led me to the abandoned barn. The door complained as the hinges creaked, but he led me into the massive structure. I looked around thinking one good solid gust of wind would bring the whole thing crashing down on us. There was no straw on the dirt floor. The only light was what was streaming in from the cracks in the wall of the barn from the moon. I could hear wings fluttering above us as we’d disturbed whatever fowl inhabited the rafters. A camping lantern hung just over the side of a stall. Drake lit it.
He reached over and grabbed a small backpack. As I looked around the dimly lit barn, my heart ached: this is where he had been staying. Drake withdrew a blanket from the backpack and laid it down on the ground. He eased himself down to the floor and motioned to the blanket in front of him.
I remembered the story of Winfield and Unice: the man who had fallen in love with a Centauride. At the time I thought it an impossible love story: in this moment – I understood. My heart went out to the couple all over again. I took my place in front of Drake on the floor, his arms tentatively reached out for me, and when I moved toward him, his strong arms encircled me.
Drake brought his hand to my cheek, caressing my face with the back of his hand. It was a tender touch and spoke volumes to my soul. I understood why I had searched so long without finding him. He had purposely evaded me. His voice told me what I already knew, “I never thought I’d feel your skin again.”
My hands reached for him as I heard the longing in his voice and answered him with strength in mine. “No one can keep me from you. You’re mine. I chose you.”
He shook his head at me, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
My hand rested on his jaw as I said it again, “I chose you, Drake.”
“You chose me before all of this.” His hand swept out as he motioned to himself. “You need to choose someone else; t
here’s no future with me.”
“You don’t believe that. You can’t believe that. I just want to stay here, with you.”
Drake’s eyes closed as his lips softly met mine. He was tentative, as if he couldn’t commit them to me. My hand instinctively went to the back of his head and pulled him in closer as I whispered, “Kiss me like you mean it.”
Whatever doubt he was feeling evaporated as his kiss deepened. His hand went to the small of my back as shivers from his touch rocketed in all directions. Drake’s lips moved to my clavicle as a soft moan escaped him. My mouth found his ear lobe as I whispered, “Better, I’m starting to believe you missed me, too.”
“There are no words, Cami.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. He was no longer telling me to leave. Whatever had happened, it had to be temporary. My mother had warned me in a dream, telling me I had to leave him to protect him. I began to wonder if this could have been prevented if I’d just followed her advice.
Zandra told me she’d looked into my future and decided to keep Drake and me apart. Could either or both of them have seen this coming? If I’d let them help, could I have kept Drake safe? If his transformation wasn’t temporary, there were two truths I knew: one, I loved him with all of my heart, and two, I didn’t care what shape he was in, I would never want anyone but Drake in my life.
Drake tossed the backpack behind me. He leaned me gently on the blanket, placing my head on the backpack as a pillow. It was awkward at first, but he’d somehow tucked his legs in under his body and found a way to curl up beside me. I stared straight into his beautiful blue eyes, losing myself. Drake’s hand began to tremble. There was no reason for him to be apprehensive, but with each new movement, it felt like he had to convince himself that it was okay.
His hand reluctantly slid under my shirt and grazed the skin on my abdomen, sending goose bumps all over my body. He was waiting for me to tell him to stop. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his touch, savoring whatever we were afforded. I didn’t care that he had been transformed. I didn’t care about the arrow. I only cared that I’d found him and no one would ever take him away from me.
Centaur Legacy Page 19