“Happy birthday, Syd!” I exclaimed, handing her the obnoxiously girly drink, not caring that I had interrupted her conversation with someone I had yet to meet. She looked at the flashing rainbow glass and then up at me. A sigh escaped her mouth as she reluctantly took it from my hands.
I grinned and held up my glass. “Cheers!”
“Glad you could make it, Maura,” Sydney clinked glasses with me. She dramatically grimaced after taking a drink. “At least one of us is embracing this absurdity.”
“You know, it was incredibly thoughtful of Julie to plan this for you.”
“Maura, I proposed. You don’t have to keep talking her up to me.”
I sighed.
“Yes, I know, she’s priceless. I’m very lucky,” Sydney recited
accommodatingly.
“See, was that so hard to say?”
“Not half as hard as drinking this,” she coughed while taking her second drink.
“Oh, honestly, Syd, stop being such a little bitch and just drink it,” I said.
Her mouth dropped open, followed by a proud smile. She slapped me on the back.
“Oh! Mouthy Maurie showed up tonight! I haven’t seen her in a long time.”
I threw her a pointed look.
“Now this…this is going to be a good night,” she proclaimed. “Seriously. Best. Present. Ever.”
I rolled my eyes and took another drink.
It’s a little-known fact about me that I become extremely smart-mouthed and blunt when drunk. Sydney loved it but she hadn’t seen it happen since we were in grad school. And since I had driven myself, I hadn’t planned on indulging enough to let “Mouthy Maurie,” as Syd liked to call her, show up tonight. Sydney continued to look at me expectantly, knowing she could peer pressure me into just about anything.
“It’s not happening,” I declared.
“Sounds like a challenge.”
“Maybe if you stop nursing your drink, I’ll take you seriously enough to consider it,” I threw back at her.
Sydney smiled. “Sounds good...Mouthy Maurie,” she teased before downing the drink she hated.
Before I knew it, I was on my third Jameson and Ginger. Sydney had been fair and was matching me drink for drink. But as anticipated, she was not showing the effects of any of it. I, however, had announced that she needed to wear a white tuxedo for her wedding because it was “classy as shit, just like Boyz II Men.” Luckily, I hadn’t serenaded anyone with End of the Road…yet.
I was at the bar ordering Sydney another drink when I turned around to see Thomas walking up to her and Julie. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since the gala. I assumed he was too busy having gratuitous, obnoxious, premarital sex with Ashland to have even thought of contacting me. Not that I was bitter. I mean, I’m sure Ashland’s egocentric tales of being more enlightened than everyone around her, along with her skinny ass, were far more entertaining than any sort of banter I could offer.
He was wearing khaki cargo shorts and a blue T-shirt. His skin looked even more tan against the light shade of blue. Even though he was dressed more casually than the last time I’d seen him at the gala, he looked just as handsome.
Stop staring. You’re on the rebound. That is the only reason you think he’s attractive right now.
Yeah, but you thought he was attractive at the gala, and you weren’t on the rebound then, I argued against myself.
To prove to myself that I didn’t care, I grabbed Sydney’s drink and made my way back to the table, cutting in front of Thomas. My back brushed up against his chest.
“Here you go,” I said.
“Thanks, buddy,” Sydney grinned. “Look who made it out tonight,” she gestured to Thomas.
“Hey Maura.”
“Hey,” I said as nonchalantly as I could, waiting for Ashland to appear out of nowhere, looking, as always, too goddamn gorgeous to be fair.
“Didn’t think you’d be at a gay bar,” I declared flatly, trying to sound unimpressed. Sydney and Julie snickered, indicating that I clearly was not playing it as cool as I’d wanted to.
“You know, it’s good to step outside of your comfort zone every once in a while,” he said smoothly. “Plus, I really wanted to dance to YMCA tonight.”
I stared at him, unable to think of a retort.
“I was going to go get a drink; do you want anything?” he offered.
“She’ll have another Jameson and Ginger,” Sydney announced before I could turn him down. I scowled at her once he left.
“What? I thought straight girls loved it when guys bought them drinks,” she feigned innocence.
I crossed my arms. Sydney patted the seat next to her, instructing me to sit down. I took the invitation, staring at Thomas as he stood at the bar, waiting to order.
“Do you think any guys are going to hit on him?” I asked loudly, not knowing why I cared to ask.
“Nah,” Sydney replied. “I mean, the cargo shorts and flip flops alone are a definite giveaway that he’s straight. He would have been in more trouble if he wore the coveralls.”
“I know, right?” I exclaimed reflexively, turning to Sydney.
She raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, shut up,” was all I could muster.
Thomas returned with my drink and a beer for himself. He sat down next to me.
“So, where’s Ashland?” Might as well find out where my looming buzzkill was located.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’m not seeing her anymore.”
I stared at him. I wanted more of an explanation but was too prideful to ask. Just as I had been too prideful to text him over the past month.
“She kind of…” he paused, apparently trying to pick the right words, “…hated Catholics, and that ended up being a problem for me. You know, since I’m pretty fond of the Catholics that I know.”
He smiled and took a drink. I tried to think of something clever to say.
“Well, I never liked her. I mean, what kind of a name is Ashland anyway? It’s not a name. It’s a mountain, for God’s sake, and it’s not even a very important one, like Olympus or Rainier.”
The words sounded eloquent before I said them. Once they were out of my mouth it was obvious that they were not. Thankfully, Thomas grinned but held back from laughing at me.
“So, where’s Ethan? Did he already head upstairs to get a good spot for the cabaret show?”
“Please,” I dismissed. “We broke up like a month ago.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” he sounded genuine, but not surprised.
“Bullshit,” I blurted. “You never liked him.”
Thomas laughed.
“No, you’re right, I didn’t.” He took a drink from his beer and then turned to me. “He was far too boring to really appreciate you anyway. Fuck Edwin.”
“No, no, Ethan,” I corrected, touching his arm.
“Oh, my bad. I seem to have forgotten already.” He winked at me. A laugh escaped my mouth, more amused than I normally would’ve been. He knew I was drunk and there was no way for me to attempt to hide it anymore.
“You know,” I sighed, “you’re totally right. He was absolutely boring. Especially when it came to making out,” I shared without thinking. “I mean, sometimes you just really want someone to play with your breasts,” I remarked.
He coughed on his drink.
“Uh-huh, yeah, I totally get that.” He tried to keep a straight face but started grinning.
“Whatever,” I tried to hide my embarrassment. I took another drink. If I could maintain my buzz, then maybe I would be able to get through the night without overanalyzing everything and just enjoy Thomas’ company instead.
THOMAS
I stood at the bar, waiting for the bartender so I could close out my tab. Sydney approached me.
“Thank
s again for coming out, man.” She patted me on the back as she placed her empty glass on the bar. She had had quite a few drinks, and it was impressive how unaffected she was.
“No problem – happy birthday. Thanks for inviting me.”
I was glad to have an excuse to see Maura again. I don’t know why I hadn’t just called her over the past month...well, that’s a lie. Father Sean’s relentlessly suggesting that I was interested in her - or should be interested in her - had wormed its way into my consciousness, so naturally, I responded by making a point not to see her or talk to her. Unfortunately, my tried and true method of ignoring things I didn’t want to deal with, such as caring about someone, did not work. My brilliant plan had only made me miss her.
“Did you want anything else before I close out my tab?” I asked Sydney.
“Nah, man, I’m good,” she turned me down. I attempted to get the bartender’s attention and failed for the third time. “You probably should’ve dressed a little nicer. Maybe worn a V-neck,” Sydney informed.
“Mistakes of a first timer, I guess.”
“It’s good they’re taking their time anyway. It’ll give you an opportunity to watch this.” She turned me around to face the dance floor.
Maura was surrounded by people, not all of them from Sydney’s party. She was dancing – more provocatively than I would’ve ever expected – but also shockingly well and on beat. Sydney laughed at my expression.
“Wasn’t expecting to see that tonight,” I said. “Where did she learn to do that?”
“Her roommate freshman year. Maura used to go babysit her at all the frat parties. You know, make sure no one took advantage of her and she got home safe. The roommate insisted that if Maura went, she had to at least blend in, so she taught her how to dance,” Sydney said, amused. “But I haven’t seen the fly girl moves in at least three years.”
Maura dropped down and pulled her body back up slowly with her ass in the air. Sydney cat called at her and turned back to me. “I fucking love it,” she laughed. Dumbfounded, I continued to stare at Maura. “So, clearly she can’t drive,” Sydney said. “Would you be able to get our tiny dancer over there home?”
“Sure, I took the light rail here anyway.” I finally got a bartender’s attention. “I’m closing out,” I yelled over the music. He nodded and went to cash me out.
“Syd! Syd!” I heard Maura call out. I turned around. “Syd! Her name’s Molly! I’m dancing with Molly! Just like Miley Cyrus!” Maura exclaimed excitedly, pointing at an unfamiliar woman dancing next to her. The woman started moving in closer and was clearly eyeing her. Maura continued to dance, clueless to the advances being made.
“Okay,” Sydney said, as we both instinctively moved away from the bar towards the dance floor to run interference.
“I got it,” I assured. I grabbed Maura’s hand and pulled her away from the floor. She looked at me, confused, but followed without a protest.
“Those are some moves you got there, McCormick.” I moved her against the wall.
“You want me to teach you? It’s super easy,” she yelled. “You just gotta loosen up your hips,” she instructed, trying to wiggle my hips for me.
At least she was a happy drunk.
I moved my hands over hers and looked her in the eye. “You know, I think I’m going to have to take a rain check. I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.”
“Oh puh-lease,” she scoffed. “You hardly have any ass at all.” She reached behind me, squeezing one side of my butt. I was caught off guard and jumped back.
“Whoa, okay,” I exclaimed with a laugh, not really sure if she was flirting or just being herself with alcohol. “You’re going to have to at least buy me dinner first,” I joked.
“Fine, how’s next Tuesday?”
And now I couldn’t tell if she was serious or messing with me.
“That is, unless, you’re planning on sleeping with another one of our interns by then.”
It took me a second, but I realized she was referring to Ashland.
“I never slept with Ashland,” I shared, talking loudly in her ear.
She pulled away and gave me a doubtful smirk.
“I didn’t,” I reiterated. “She just wasn’t worth it.”
Her expression registered belief.
“You know, kind of like guys who buy you skis for your birthday, even though you hate skiing.” I held her stare for a moment, and thought for a second about kissing her, but hesitated, thinking Sydney might kick my ass if I did.
“Sydney asked me to drive you home,” I said instead. “Can I get your keys?” She handed them over without needing any convincing.
Once she’d said goodbye to Sydney – which took a while; there was a lot of hugging and “I love you so much, Syd!” – it was a little frustrating trying to get Maura to remember where her car was. We walked around for at least twenty minutes before she was able to direct me to the street where she was parked; she kept getting distracted by pointing out different restaurants she had been meaning to try. The wandering had helped her sober up, so that was good – and it prolonged my time with her, so that was nice too.
Since she had already proven herself to be horrible navigator, I was thankful I didn’t have to rely on her to direct me back to her apartment. Maura was happy not to have to play co-pilot since it allowed her to focus on singing every single song that came on the radio, because each one was her favorite of all time – obviously. I concluded she was a better dancer than singer.
Once we got back to her apartment, I thought that she would head upstairs and the night would be over. But after I handed her keys back to her, she linked arms with me and led me out of the garage and onto the street.
“You know, Thomas, I really love the birthday present you gave me,” she said emphatically.
“Oh? Thank you, I’m glad you do.”
“I think it’s, like, my favorite present ever, in the history of birthdays.”
“Wow, in the history of birthdays?” I said with feigned awe. “Well, I don’t know if it’s that good.” We stopped walking.
“No, no, it is,” she argued. “Sitting by that statue is one of my favorite places, and I never even told you, but you just knew it was special.”
“I did,” I affirmed quietly.
“And you said you didn’t even paint anymore. But then you painted that...for me.”
“I know, I was there,” I laughed, hoping she wasn’t going to ask me why I had changed my mind.
“Why?”
No such luck.
I looked down at my feet, trying to think of an answer that would make sense but not lead her to think she meant as much to me as she actually did.
“I guess when I said I didn’t paint anymore, what I really meant was that I didn’t feel like painting anymore...but when I saw you sitting there on Easter, for the first time in a long time, I felt the same as when I first started painting…it’s hard to describe, other than this intense need to put what I see onto a canvas...so I did. I’m not sure when I’m going to get that feeling again, but I guess it’s not completely gone like I thought it was.”
I held back from thanking her. Maybe someday I would tell her how much it meant to get that feeling back, but not tonight.
She nodded but didn’t say anything. Once again, I expected her to leave and conclude the night, but I didn’t want to be the first to say goodnight. Maura paused for a moment.
“Guess what?” she gave me a mischievous grin. “Race you to Teddy’s!” She took off down the sidewalk.
Worried that she would run into traffic, I chased after her. I caught up to her as she turned the corner, and we both reached the door at the same time.
“Okay, okay, okay,” she laughed, trying to catch her breath and gain composure. “Thomas, you’re gonna have to lock it in before we go in there,” she instruct
ed seriously.
“Oh, really? I’m the one that needs to lock it in?” I laughed.
She nodded. “On weekends this place is crawling with hipsters. It’s no place for obnoxious drunks.”
“Well in that case, maybe we should get you home.”
“No, I need to buy you a drink for your birthday,” she explained.
“Maura, my birthday’s in December.”
“Exactly. And I missed it. I feel really terrible about it, so I have to make it up to you.”
“Maura, last December, I was still living in New York. We didn’t know each other.” Trying to be the voice of reason was pointless, but I still gave it a shot.
“Unacceptable. It was rude of me to forget,” she declared, opening the door.
She was right about the clientele at Teddy’s on a Saturday night. The place was loaded with dark framed glasses and flannel. The low drone of voices and quiet filled the air. It was the complete opposite of the bar we had come from. Maura sat down directly at the bar and waited, successfully holding her composure. I joined her.
“What can I get you?” The bartender approached.
“He’ll have a Three Wise Men,” she ordered for me. “And I’ll have a–”
“Water,” I interrupted to complete her order, not wanting her to undo the progress she had made sobering up. She gave me a pointed look then turned back to the bartender.
“And a Stella,” she finished. The bartender nodded and walked away.
“Three Wise Men?”
“Get it? ‘Cause your birthday’s in December. Like Jesus,” she added just in case I didn’t fully put it together. The bartender returned with the cocktail of hard liquor and pints of both water and beer. I pulled the beer towards myself while Maura was distracted by paying the tab.
She frowned when she saw only water in front of her.
“Drink your water first, then we’ll talk.”
She didn’t argue and took a drink. I stared reluctantly at the cocktail of straight tequila, whiskey, and scotch. The easiest thing to do would be to shoot it and get it over with. Had anybody ever honestly ordered this drink with the intention of savoring it? I concealed the cough I wanted to let out after downing it. Maura looked at me wide eyed, expecting a response.
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